When You Love Someone
May 15, 2012
Chapter Nine
Mason
"Mason. You came," Edward sounds shocked as I walk into the circle of Cullens standing in the school parking lot. They all looked surprised and with good reason. Not even I know the depths of how much I hate them. Well, how much I hate Edward. I know they must've seen the way I slashed his shoulder last week. I can sense how tense Emmett and Jasper are, preparing themselves in case I attack again, and I like that. It makes me feel like I have some power after all, some semblance of control.
"You have ten minutes," I tell Edward. "That's all I promised Alice I'd give you."
"That's all I need. I want to tell you that I am leaving."
"What else is new?"
"Mason, please," he pleads with me, looking very sad and very serious all of a sudden. "I have something very important to say if you would just listen. I'm leaving for Forks."
"I prefer spoons, but whatever."
"Forks is the town where your mother and I met. I'm using it as my starting point."
"Starting point for what?"
"I'm going to find your mother. I don't care how long it takes or where it leads me. I have decided to spend my every waking hour searching for her. When I return, I will have answers for you and Isabella Renee. I promise. Will you tell your sister what I'm saying? I want her to know I'm not abandoning you both again. I'm doing this for you."
"You're doing this for you," I corrected him with a growl, shivering with the anger I could barely keep from flaring. "How dare you? After everything you made my mother suffer, where do you think she is? In a grave, that's where! You didn't let her live in peace; at least let her rest in peace."
"Isabella Renee said you two don't know whether your mother is alive or not."
"She's naive!" I couldn't help bellowing. Emmett and Jasper edged closer to me, ready to restrain me if they needed to, but I ignored them. I could barely see them past the selfishness of Edward's plan. "Bella doesn't know anything! Do you think she's the one Jennifer told about us nearly eating our way out of our own mother? Do you think Bella knows our mother gave us to Jennifer because the government said she was too sick to be a fit parent and threatened to take us away from her? No. Bella has no clue how cruel life really is. She thinks things just magically work out, just like she thinks our mother will magically come back to us one day. It's unrealistic, but it gives Bella something to hope for. If you bring our mother back, you'll bring her back in a coffin, and you'll crush Bella."
"I think knowing the truth will benefit everyone, especially Isabella Renee. I would love it if the two of you would come with me, actually. We have a lot of catching up to do and, no matter what state in which we find your mother, the four of us should find her together. I think she would like that."
"Don't pretend to know or care about what she would like."
"Mason," Edward clenches his jaw and balls his fist, irritated with me, "I love your mother. I always have and I always will. This is the last time I will explain that to you."
"You know what? I don't care," I tell him. I can feel the bitterness callous over into apathy as the words leave my mouth. The hardened resolve settles like sediment at the bottom of my stomach. "I don't care what you do. In fact, you're the reason Mom is dead, so you should be the one to search for her. I hope you never find her. I hope you spend your entire eternity wondering where she is."
Isabella Renee
Mason came home in a storm, all brooding thunder and dark clouds. I asked him why only to have his storm come rain on me.
"Edward wants you to know he's leaving."
"Leaving?" I choke on the word, but Mason keeps making his mountain of a sandwich, not as sad as he is angry. And thirsty. I can tell all the extra meat on his sandwich is just a cover-up for the blood he really wants. "Is Edward ever coming back? Why would he leave us? We just found each other."
"Forget him. Do you want me to erase his memory for you?"
"Mason, I already told you no. Stop asking me about that."
"What's your problem?" he turns on me, but I turn away. I'm scared that if he stares at me long enough, he'll see my secret. He'll look into my mind and know all about Jacob Black, and then we'll be the ones moving. "Bella, why are you acting so weird? You've been moping around here depressed and crying and angry for no reason."
"I have my reasons."
"I'm not the problem," he reminds me, and I feel guilty. "I've only ever done what's best for you. It would be great if you could remember that sometime."
"Mason, I'm sorry. I know you're not the problem, but you're here and I'm so...I don't mean to take it out on you. I just get so..."
"You get so what?"
"I wish Mom were here. I'm serious!" I insist as he rolls his eyes and stuffs his sandwich into a plastic baggie so he can finish it at work. He works so hard. "If Mom were here, she would take care of us and you wouldn't have to work and I would know how to handle things and-"
"You can keep talking if you want, but it's only fair that I tell you I've stopped listening."
"Is someone at the door?" Jennifer asks out of nowhere, standing with one foot in the kitchen with us and one foot over the threshold of the living room. She's in two different rooms and two different worlds if her eyes are any indication. The pupils are completely gone, meaning someone or something has tickled her witchy bone.
"Did the doorbell ring?" she asks me and Mason. "Someone is here. Who is it?"
"No one," Mason tells her, but as soon as he says it the doorbell does ring. "What the...?"
I move closer to him, apprehensive. With two vampire kids and their witchy godmother living in one house, we never get visitors. Not that people don't like us or anything, but humans are naturally afraid of people like us, even if they don't know it. We never get visitors. Why would that change now?
"I'll answer it," Mason tells me and Jennifer, and leaves us to open the door. When I hear his growl of irritation, I know at once who's at the door.
"Oh, Edward, it's you," Jennifer greets our guests as we meet them in the living room. "And this must be your family?"
"Dad!" I run to him but don't touch him. I'd like to hug all the Cullens and they look like they want to hug me, too, but there's still stuff between us. We sit down together instead.
"It's a shame, Isabella Renee," Edward says, "but I didn't trust Mason to adequately bid you farewell on my behalf, so I thought I would come over and do the job myself. You've been crying," he frowns as he inspects me closer, turning my chin from left to right. "What's upset you? Is it my leaving or is it...something else?"
He hesitates and for a second I panic, thinking he must know about Jacob. But it's impossible, so I shake my head.
"There's nothing else. Why are you leaving? Don't you want to stay and get to know me and Mason?"
"All my family and I want in this whole world is to be part of yours and Mason's lives," he tells me in sincerity. He holds my hands inside his own marble-smooth and cold ones. "But, none of us can move on with our futures until we know what's happened to your mother. We're leaving to find her."
"Mason, you liar!" I stand to my feet accusing him. He brushes me off, still packing his things for work. "Mason, I know you hear me! Why did you lie to me about Dad?"
"I didn't lie. I told you he's leaving and he is."
"You didn't say he's trying to find Mom!"
"He's not going to find her."
"Why would you say that?"
"He's going to hurt you and ruin your life just like he did to Mom. Don't believe a word he says, Bella."
"Another visitor?" Jennifer looks worried when there's another ring of our doorbell, but I'm surprised she heard it past the painful ripping in my chest. I never would've thought I'd be torn between my brother and my father. Who could I trust? Who could I believe?
"Edward," Jennifer asks, "are you expecting any other members of your family?"
"No," he answers her, but his eyes are on Mason and me. He looks really hurt and extremely angry. No need to wonder where Mason gets his temper. "No, we're all accounted for. I don't know who is at your door."
"But they sound desperate," Edward's mom (I don't remember her name anymore) remarks warily. Edward's father has to take her hand to calm her down, and it strikes me yet again how weirdly young they seem. Does it have something to do with being vampires? Will Mason and I stop aging one day? "I hope there isn't some emergency."
"Me, too," Jennifer nods, looking worried. "I haven't had this much company in years. I'm almost afraid to let anyone else in. The clouds spelled doom for me when I read them this morning."
"Then let me answer it," I tell her, and walking toward the door I feel like I'm walking away from the problem of Mason and Edward. The charade feels good. "I always have good luck," I say, reaching for the door handle, and just as I am about to greet our guest, my eyes take him in and my mouth goes completely dry.
"Jacob Black?" I say his name without even realizing it, without hearing myself make a sound. But it is Jacob Black leaning with one arm on the door post and one arm clutching what looks like a letter. Gray shirt and dark jeans, he looks irresistible, but I do resist. More than thinking it weird he's discovered where I live, I remember the way he treated me yesterday. I want to be near him, but I want an apology even more.
There's just one problem.
"Now really isn't a good time," I try to tell him and close the door behind me a little to hide him from full view of my family, but he puts a finger to my lips, silencing me before I can explain why.
"Hear me out. Okay?"
With him touching my lips, I can hardly respond, so I nod instead, trying to look calm when every inch of my skin is awake.
"I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you yesterday. I hurt you and it wasn't fair. All the things I said to you were meant for someone else."
"The other Isabella?"
He swallows. Hard.
"Yeah, her. The other Isabella. I...I wrote this for you," he hands me the letter but doesn't meet my eyes. "You can read it or throw it out; you can believe it or say I'm crazy, but I swear to you that every single word I've written is the truth, including the part where I tell you that you're the last person in this entire world I would ever want to hurt. I can't tell you how much you mean to me or even why, but I hope that..." he swallows again, choking down the thing inside of him desperate to get out. "I hope that what I can tell you in this letter will give you the explanation you deserve, and I hope that after you read it, you can forgive me."
"Jacob, I do forgive you. I forgive you right now. Come inside? This isn't the best timing, but I want to talk to you. I just need to settle some things first. Guys?" I call as I step back into the house, this time dragging Jacob Black by one hand behind me. "Everybody? Guys, I want you to meet Jacob Black. He's my...well we're...we're good friends. Right Jacob?"
I look to him for assurance, but he doesn't give me any. The expression on his face isn't one of certainty, but one of deep pain and rage and shock all fighting for control of him.
"Jacob?"
I touch him hesitantly, trying to bring him back to the present with me, but it's useless. Wherever he is, I can't follow, so I turn to my family instead, hoping they can dissolve the awkwardness of the moment. To my surprise, though, they're all wearing the same expressions as Jacob.
For starters, all of the Cullens are standing now in an impassable and threatening wall behind Edward. Edward himself, however, is a different story completely. He's furious. I can see it in the tightness of his fists, in the tightness of his jaw, in the lack of restraint flashing like lightening in his eyes less yellow and more red now. He's growling, too. It's low, barely audible, but I can hear it; a guttural, blood-thirsty sound each of the Cullens began to mimic one by one.
Out of some instinct I can't name, my hand flies to Jacobs, holding him tightly, in solidarity, but that only makes everything worse. My wordless confession of what Jacob means to me sends Edward rushing toward us so that Jacob flings me backward, away from the collision and into Mason's arms by the time Edward's fist crashes into Jacob's face and Jacob's massive hand has slashed Edward across his shoulder. It's the same shoulder Mason tore, and the retouching of the old wound stops Edward cold, grimacing.
I'm glad he's hurt. The pain is the only thing stopping him, not my cries pleading with him not to hurt Jacob. As shocked by the situation as I am, Mason isn't in the headspace to strong arm me, so I break free of his hold. I run to Jacob's side where he stands heaving with adrenaline and jerking, jerking involuntarily. At times, his teeth seem longer. At times, hair sprouts up from his skin, long and brown and thick. At times, his hands look like paws...
"What is wrong with you?" I ask him, half meaning his attack on my father and half meaning the transformation he seemed to be fighting. "What...what are you? Jacob?"
"He's a wolf," Jennifer is the one to answer me. There are tears running down her cheeks and still more in her eyes, but they're not sad tears. They're angry tears. I can tell because of the hard line her mouth has settled into.
"Jennifer?"
"He's a wolf," she says again. "Jacob Black is a wolf."
"Wait, how do you know? Do you...have you two met before?"
"Isabella Renee," Edward speaks now, "how do you know him? What has he done to you?"
"He hasn't done anything to me! I told you, we're friends."
"The way he spoke to you on the porch did not sound like friendship!"
"Don't shout at my sister!" Mason came to my rescue, standing between me and Edward. "Everybody, calm down and just explain what this is about. Starting with you, Jennifer."
"No, Mason, please, not me," she begs, shaking her head and wringing her hands. "Please, don't make me be the one to say it."
"I don't trust the Cullens; I trust you. If there's something I need to know, I want to hear it from you. What's wrong with this guy?" Mason point to Jacob and Jacob shrinks back. I shrink back with him. "Who is he? Why are you so pissed to see him? And you," he turns on me now, expression hard as steel. "How long have you been seeing him behind our backs?"
"Where's Bella? Answer me! What have you done to her?"
"I'm right here," I tell Edward, confused beyond words when he puts the question to Jacob, but Jacob isn't. He swallows again, tries to gain control of himself.
"He isn't talking about you," he tells me. "He's talking about another Bella I used to know. He's talking about your mother."
"My mother? No, that's not possible. You don't know my mother. You can't know my mother! She's gone and you're too young."
"He's not so young," Jennifer cuts in. "In fact, he's my age only as a Shape Shifter, he gets a longer life than the rest of us."
"Jacob?" I can't stop staring at him. With my eyes, I beg him to tell me the impossible story unfolding about him is a lie in every detail. He does not. With my hands I reach out to him. If he would just touch me, I wouldn't have to hear another word. If would just touch me, there would be no one else in this room but the two of us. "Jacob, please say something."
"Go on, tell her!" Edward bellows, beside himself with rage and anguish. "Tell her that you are thirty-two years old. Tell her that you knew her mother, that you knew Bella. Tell her what you did to her mother!"
"I did nothing but love her," Jacob finally speaks, but it breaks my heart; shatters it into a thousand irretrievable pieces. The other Isabella he talked of yesterday was my mother? He's a shape shifting wolf? He's thirty-two years old? My head is spinning. I can't breathe. I put a hand to my chest and another on the wall to steady myself. This can't be happening. Why was this happening?
"I loved Bella with all that I had, and I never hurt her," Jacob continues. "I took care of her when you left her. I did what you didn't have the balls to do!"
"And now that she's gone you've taken hold of her daughter?" one of Edward's sisters, the blond one, asks disgustedly. "You stay away from my niece, do you understand, Dog? I will skin you alive. I don't care what it takes!"
"Do whatever you want, but you'll never separate me from Bella Renee. We have an unbreakable bond."
"The laws of nature separate you from each other," Jennifer speaks now and this time she looks directly at me. I know her words are aimed at me. "This relationship is an abomination, not only because it involves a werewolf and a vampire, but also because it involves a godfather and his goddaughter. Or have you forgotten, Jacob, the promise we made to Bella?"
My head is spinning. My vision is swimming. For a second I think the floor is rising to meet me, but then I feel my head thud against the floorboard and I hear someone scream. Someone shakes me, but I don't want to wake up. I never want to wake up again.