Clearly I'm insane. Yep. Just mad. I've gone loopy, and St. Mungo's will have to take me in.
Hmm. You know, that wouldn't be so bad. A nice, warm bed every night, three meals a day, free of charge. And dessert…
What the hell? No, no, I'm not going to check myself into St. Mungo's. Stupid idea. Just got a little carried away is all. No, bad idea. No.
So back to reality. Where was I? I right: Clearly I'm insane. Because you see, if I wasn't insane, I wouldn't be standing at the fireplace in McGonagall's office, armed with all the Floo Powder I'll need and more, plenty of Galleons to last me about a year (bless McGonagall and the school's Defense Against the Dark Arts budget), and of course my small purse with most of my possessions in it.
So, yeah, I'm insane. I must be, if I'm actually planning to travel the world, pregnant, to find Hogwarts their newest DADA teacher. Insane.
But, you know, whatever.
"Bye Professor," I said. "And thank you, so much."
She just smiled at me and gestured toward the fireplace. Now or never.
Let's go with now, shall we? So I stepped into the fireplace, threw down the powder, and shouted, "Diagon Alley!"
*****
Yes, you heard right. My first stop on my big world tour was Diagon Alley. No lie. I had a few things to pick up, after all.
I stopped to buy some more clothes, as mine were starting to get a bit tight and I knew this was only the beginning.
On the way out of the clothes store, everything properly crammed into my charmed purse, I passed by the Leaky Cauldron, wishing I could stop in for a drink when who should stumble out but my old Quidditch Captain, Oliver Wood.
"Oliver!" I called happily. "Oliver!"
He looked over, no sign of recognition on his face. He staggered toward me.
"Ah, Alicia, you're looking well," he slurred.
"I'm Katie, Oliver," I corrected him. "And you're drunk."
"Katie, darling!" he cried jovially. "You're looking quite lovely." And then he put his arm around me.
"Oliver, I'm pregnant, and you are still drunk," I told him flatly. When I removed his arm from my shoulders, however, he fell over.
"Oliver!" I groaned. Then I pulled him off the ground and back into the Leaky Cauldron.
"Do you have any rooms available?" I asked the bartender.
"No for that one," she replied, pointing at Oliver. "I just kicked him out of here for nearly startin' a fight. Now get out."
I sighed heavily. This was already a very difficult trip.
"Oliver, wake up!" I shouted at him once we were back out in the snow.
Mumbling and groaning, he came back to consciousness. "Oh, Katie, how did you get into my flat?"
"Oliver, get up!" I told him. "I have to catch a train in an hour and I refuse to leave you out here in the snow. Come on, up!"
He let me pull him out of the snow and was able to carry most of his own weight, although still leaning onto me for support.
"Come on, Ollie," I said, annoyed, as I pulled him along. "Where's your flat?"
"In Ireland, all the stew is…Irish!" Oliver sang, quoting a muggle movie that I had no idea where he would have seen.
"OLIVER!" I shouted. That got his attention. "Sorry, but I need to know where you live."
"I don't," he replied. "Got evicted after the team kicked me out."
I groaned. "Oliver, how?"
"Found someone better I s'pose," he muttered.
"Oliver, you are the best keeper in the world, but I don't have time for this. Where are you gonna go?"
"Can I go with you?" he asked, looking up at her.
"Oliver, I am going to Greece on an errand for McGonagall. You cannot come."
He hung his, managing to look a bit like a lonely puppy, even in his drunken state.
"Fine," I muttered. "To Greece. But I'm leaving you there!" I warned him.
He nodded. "Fine, just as long as I can come!"
"Well, come on then."