VIII. Family
You are thirteen when your mother dies. You are called into Irving's office. He never talked to you when there wasn't any rule-breaking to discuss, so while you're thinking about your latest misbehaviours, the news catch you off-guard. There's a sadness in his eyes that makes you feel uncomfortable, but somehow so angry, too. He wouldn't have to tell you, if they hadn't taken you from your home. So when he asks you if you want to talk you shrug and answer 'About what?' with a false smile on your lips and run away.
At first you don't feel anything. You haven't seen your mother in seven years and you don't think the blood in your veins makes you a family. At least it didn't stop her from letting the templars taking you with them. But when the first tears fall you realize it hurts more than you thought possible. She may have given you away but in another life she may have loved you as you still love her. And somewhere, deep in your heart, you think – or hope – she regretted her decision in the end.
That night you swear to her that you'll never stop fighting and that you'll never give up, so that no child has to cry for a mother it doesn't know ever again.
IX. Never enough
At your fourteenth birthday you're alone. Alone in a dark cell with only your thoughts to distract you. You don't know how long they'll keep you here but it doesn't matter. Over the last months you tried to escape three times. Three nights with a hammering heart and cold fear flashing through your veins. Three times you leave the tower behind for some hours or days only to be brought back again and again. Three failed attempts to get free and three days of beatings you had to endure while your mind was spinning with thoughts of rage and revenge.
Though you got farther every time it was never enough. You know they can track you with your phylactery – they told you after the first time with a triumphant grin – but you thought it would be enough to always keep in motion, to never stay too long in one place. It wasn't. It is never.
Still you know you won't stop trying. You'll find a way once you're out of this hole. You have to. Because you can't bear this nightmare forever.
tbc