She was exhausted and really just wanted to climb into bed, hide from the world, and cry herself to sleep. At least she hadn't been foolish enough to tell him she loved him.
Disclaimer: Don't own the characters.
Castle knew he was driving the knife in deeper when he decided to follow Detective Slaughter two weeks later. However, he reasoned, he wasn't "getting any" inspiration from his own muse, and the case had severed heads. It was a mystery writer's dream. Even Detective Beckett reminded him he was a writer and not a cop. What she didn't understand was that he was doing this research for his readers and for the story, not because he was trying to be "a cop" or even punish her. At least, that was what he was trying to convince himself of. No, he wasn't trying to punish her, he rationalized. If he was, he surely wouldn't have brought her coffee when he broke the news to her. It was odd, because before he told her, he swore she almost looked like she was happy to see him and was glowing. It must have been his mind playing tricks on him though, because she ended up walking away from him and rejecting his coffee before he left with Slaughter. This was not unexpected, seeing that she didn't love him anyway. It surprised him when she had his back later on the case, but that was probably only because she was fulfilling her obligation as his "partner." God, he wanted so much more for them than to be so broken. He needed her to spin wild murder theories with him, eat with him at Remy's, share cups of coffee with him, and take him in the storage closet because she loved him so desperately that she couldn't fight their erotic magnetic pull. He needed her to love him. For even though he was angry and hurt, he discovered he couldn't just abruptly stop loving her. However, he realized what he wanted was not reality. In reality, she lied because she didn't love him. More than anything he ever wished for in his life, he wished with all his heart that some great cosmic force would sweep through his life and fix this whole damned mess.
What he didn't know was that this "cosmic force" was already manifesting itself into both of their lives.
Kate was definitely in a bad place. If Kate was devastated before, she felt like someone kicked her in the stomach when Castle informed her he was going to follow Detective Slaughter. Even though she knew he didn't want a personal long-term relationship with her, she thought that maybe their partnership could be salvaged. He had been her partner for four years now, and surely that meant something to him. She knew it meant something to her. However, now it looked like he might be exploring ways to be done with that as well. When he brought her the coffee, she was happy because she thought that maybe they could start putting some of the pieces back together again, but she was so wrong. After he made his intentions to follow Slaughter known, a wave of nausea overtook her, and she could no longer even stand the smell of the coffee. She didn't want it anywhere near her. So, she completely abandoned it on her desk. Her day only got worse from that point on. The nausea didn't subside, and she was barely able to keep down what little bit of lunch she was able to eat. As she prepared for the trial, she was surprised when she got dizzy a couple of times, but she attributed it to her lack of food and not feeling well. In spite of the fact she was completely exhausted, she even managed to have Castle's back. He was still her partner, and although she was upset and heartbroken, she still loved him. She only wished he felt the same. She hoped she reminded him of the magnitude of their partnership when she said, "That's what partners are supposed to do."
After she left the precinct, Kate grabbed some Chinese takeout and went home. Unfortunately, as soon as she took a few bites of her dinner, the nausea returned with a vengeance. She barely made it to the toilet before she vomited. Eventually, after a few dry heaves, she made her way to her bedroom and collapsed on the bed with exhaustion. She didn't even have the energy to change her clothes. She was just so tired and so nauseous. That was when it hit her like a ton of bricks. She opened the drawer to her nightstand and checked her calendar. She was so preoccupied that she didn't notice she was a little over four weeks late.
Her hands trembled as she scrambled out of bed, pulled her hair back into a ponytail, and found her shoes. She kept trying to reassure herself that they took precautions, and she had been under a lot of stress over the past few weeks. She pushed the fatigue and nausea away as she made her way to the drug store and bought the test that could change the rest of their lives. Her hands continued to shake all the way home and as she took that test and waited for the results. She didn't have long to wait because the results were almost immediately apparent. Two lines. It was positive. She was pregnant with Richard Castle's baby.
Just wanted to say that I absolutely loved Castle on Monday! Kate just needs to jackhammer down that wall immediately because Castle loves her so much! I hope you guys are not upset that Kate is pregnant. I should have known that when I let them out of their boxes to play, they would get themselves into trouble. ;) Trust me. This is definitely more than a baby fic, and the M will definitely be back. I just have to work a little magic first. :)
I tried to answer a few reviews. Thanks so much for all your reviews. They encourage me to continue. Please review this chapter, so I don't feel compelled to punish Rick and Kate for what they did and put them away in their boxes for awhile.