A/N: Hey, Guys! I see there's been a raise in concern for taking care of Relena's health in the piece. Legitimate. I'm actually a very practical person, myself. This chapter is only a couple weeks into an introspective story that will only take a few months for the characters. This piece is more about Relena's journey through the levels of fear and coming to terms with a potentially terminal illness. I pinky-promise to maintain focus on Reason, keeping Heero nagging the poor sweetheart with all of our concerns. In the meantime, the entire duration of the story is only a few months, and, though I will pick up the pace to take her through the coming stages of grief, I really don't want to rush it. I hope you can bear with me, as I dissect her feelings and fears, and if you have any similar stories or experiences from real life that can add to my perspective, feel free to PM me. ;-)

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing…or "Baby, It's Cold Outside"…or "Jingle Bell Rock"…or Harry Potter, for that matter.

It's a strange drink, apple cider. A delicious drink with just enough sour kick to make the tongue pucker a little. It had always been Relena's favorite festive drink. Even now that she had come of age, champagne and wine held no allure on cold winter nights, like that of apple cider.

Relena had grown in a medium, seasonal climate, and she had been lucky enough at a very young age to visit at apple farm. It was an early enough memory that she held only feelings and vague detail in her mind, but she never forgot what the real, fresh cider tasted like, when they first served it to her, steaming hot, on a cool, fall afternoon. Years later, the taste on her buds almost brought back the wood burning and dead maple-leaf smell that engulfed the gold and red glow of the autumn hills.

But this was not real apple cider. Relena smiled, sipping the cup of rehydrated apple drink that she had been graciously offered by her hosts. One could not—should not—expect real apple cider on the colonies. It was hard enough to get produce to grow in space or make the journey, and no one on L2 had made the proper mill to break down the fruits into the thick brown drink.

Nonetheless, Relena strained to remember the taste of the hot protein filled mug that she would have had, if she were home. Being with the Maxwell family for Christmas would be worth it.

"I wah BALL," Jordan said in a shrill tone, running back to the decoration box for another silver ornament.

The Maxwell family, true to their proctrastinatory ways, were the family that put the tree up on Christmas day. The house was quickly filling with decorations of blue and silver, and the artificial tree was the last thing to be erected. Relena stood out of the way, simply observing the rituals of her closest friends, as Jordan ran each pseudo-glass ornament, one by one, from the box to his parents at the tree's side. (Hilde had already placed the crystal star for the top of the tree out of reach, so the boy wouldn't accidentally destroy the piece.) The blonde quietly took it all in, absorbing the sound of an ancient rendition of "Baby, It's Cold Outside," as she nursed her cup.

As far back as Relena remembered, she'd pictured her own children rushing to decorate her home in warm reds and golds for Christmas, before the table was even cleared from Thanksgiving feast. Somehow, however, life found her living vicariously through her very different friends, as she still questioned if the dreams of making a home would ever come true. Her face sank, looking at the brunet boy and wishing, again, for one of her own. No matter how many times she tried to kick herself out of the depression, the thought of not having children, even if she lived to be ninety, seemed to make her blood boil. If there was a God, she'd like to see Him, now, and give Him a piece of her mind.

"Are you alright?"

Relena jumped visibly at the whisper in her ear. His voice was rich, but soft, awakening her from her reverie. The silence with which the legendary predator approached, however, seemed to catch her off guard every time.

Looking back into his dark blue eyes, she forced a smile; but it soon sank, unable to hold a lie in front of him. Solemnly, she shook her head.

Heero watched his hand move as he slid it across her shoulders and down her back, wrapping around her tiny waist, so he could pull her closer. When his eyes met hers, again, they were soft and intimate. "Are you afraid?"

Relena was unable to answer, as she felt the panic boil to the surface. She only swallowed, fighting back the tears that lined her eyes.

His hand came, up, again, toying with her golden hair as he tried to sooth her. "We should just go back," he said softly, so their friends wouldn't hear. "I can take you away after—"

"No, Heero," she hissed. "I don't even—there is no guarantee that I can survive the medical treatment, any more than the disease itself. I can't—"

"Your chances go up, the sooner you start."

"No." She sighed, breaking eye contact as she fought the desire to yell. "I haven't seen most of my friends in year. I have never been on a vacation. I just want to live. Just for a little while."

"I want you to live, too, but this is the only way I know how." When she looked up at him, he was staring at the wall behind her.

"That's not living, Heero. That's surviving."

"Then survive," he demanded, his gaze snapping back to hers.

"I want to live."

"I don't understand," he confessed.

"You wouldn't," she huffed. "The only thing you have ever known is survival. How can you possibly understand the difference between that and life?"

"It's the same—"

"It is not."

He took a frustrated breath, searching for the wording for his argument. "Relena, I love you. Please? Please, come home with me. I won't leave your side."

"But I'm not—ready."

"Relena," he growled, his voice growing lower with earnest.

"Enough."

He answered her command with attentive silence and a piercing stare.

"I'm not going to keep arguing about this, Heero. I just need you to trust me. Trust my needs."

He looked at the ground, the fire of anger in his eyes simmering down into coals.

Relena ran her hand up his arm, squeezing his bicep slightly before speaking. "Do you trust me, Heero?"

"How long?"

"No later than my birthday. I swear."

"Spring," the man sighed, looking at her, again. His fingertips brushed her hip as he steered his hand back across the small of her back, guiding her to face him and pulling her close. "I'll try," he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers, so their vision was only of each other's eyes.

Relena gave him a small, warm smile, melding her body to his.

Hilde reached across the tree and tapped Duo on the arm, nodding her head toward the couple behind him to point. Slowly the big, violet eyes turned to the nearly silent doorway, taking in the image of his best friends, right as they sealed the argument behind them with a soft kiss. He turned back to his wife, wide eyed and slackened jawed, as he placed the next blue ornament up on the tree.

Relena broke slowly away, stepping into the room and settling into a chair under the floor lamp. She watched as the boy gave up the tedious repetition of running the cool colored orbs to the tree, and began dancing to "Jingle Bell Rock", managing to stay continuously, and without effort, in his mother's path.

"How does he do that?" Hilde complained.

"I suppose he gets that from his father," Relena answered.

The girls giggled at Duo's expense.

"Well, if kids inherit their troublesome habits from their parents, I want nothing to do with your daughter, come Christmas time."

Relena tilted her head curiously.

"Oh, don't play all innocent, Princess! You know what I mean."

She bit her lip, rolling her eyes around in thought. No epiphany seemed to cross her expression.

"Agh! Seven years ago for Christmas, your skinny butt just had to go argue with your brother, and you just had to need rescue! And where did that leave us? Our—" He paused scanning the immediate area for a sign of Heero. "—our best soldier—" He whispered before raising his voice, again. "—had to go save your ass during the most important battle of the war!"

Relena and Hilde began laughing at the rant.

"You're being dramatic!" Relena rebutted. "It's not like he deserted you."

"No. No! Wufei was dramatic about it. Do you have any idea the things he said about you, after that?"

Relena blushed, flaunting a genuine smile. "I can imagine," she choked.

"You bet. Oh! And then, a year later—"

"I know, I know. But that was not my fault!"

"Whatever! You should have had a bodyguard!"

"I have one, now!"

"Heero?"

"No. When I'm on business. I bring a guard. And I don't drink from strange cups," she sniggered.

The laughter died out as Heero entered, eyeing the other adults carefully. Relena smiled to greet him as Duo shot her another playful grimace of disapproval.

Heero outstretched his arm, presenting her with a hard cover J. K. Rowling classic.

Relena's eyes flashed with childlike joy as she accepted the offering.

"I still don't see how it's a Christmas story," he said dryly, sinking into the nearby couch.

"They're totally Christmas stories," Hilde threw in.

Relena chuckled, opening the worn book to the last leafed page. "It just feels like Christmas, Heero."

"Reeh!" Jordan called, running to the couch. He pulled himself up on the sofa, leaning his head against this godfather, with his eyes on Relena, twinkling with anticipation.

Heero wrapped one arm over the boy, protectively, throwing Relena his stoic stare.

Relena glanced up at Hilde through the corner of her eye. "He doesn't believe us."

Hilde sighed. "Duo! Tell him that they're Christmas stories."

"Huh? Oh, no. I'm not taking sides. I've never had an opinion on this one, anyway."

Hilde shook her head. "Well, it's two against one. I think we take the win."

"Your numbers don't prove me wrong. The majority is usually the fool, after all."

Relena cheesed at him, turning her eyes to the page.

Jordan grew restless, quickly, pulling a fleece from the back of the couch and adjusting and readjusting his position until he was snuggled in the soldier's lap.

"You want me to read aloud, Jordan?" Relena asked softly.

"Reeh," he answered in a tired voice. "Peese reeh?"

"It's totally a Christmas book," she mumbled as the cracked open the hardcover for the thousandth time.