Faithfully
A/N: So I said to myself, I am determined to get this chapter up before the end of next week. So let's get going, shall we?
First of all the response to the last chapter was amazing. Although it wasn't many reviewers, I understand, and I appreciate every single review I got. I hope all of you understand that I love every bit of criticism and advice you guys give me about the story. It makes me extremely happy, you have no idea. So, that really puts me in the writing mood when you guys give me a piece of advice, let alone a paragraph worth of opinions about where the story is going or the simple, "you're back!" I received. You guys are truly appreciated; you have no idea at all.
Anyways, enough of my gushing about how amazing the reviews are. They just are. Understand? *hint hint* that was my pre-chapter pun, ha ha.
BTW: This chapter is named after a Jill Scott Song I heard once that I honestly don't remember the name of, but I know that the main line is "Do You Understand."
Disclaimer: I have hereby proclaimed reviewer, Mrs. Dianna Agron as my partner in explicit lesbian crime. And reviewer SuperNina has claimed Heather Morris as hers in this elaborate plan. As for our plans to conquer the universe with our gorgeous Glee women by our side…we have yet to finish. That includes the paperwork to that musical show that we both love so very much.
Chapter 11
The bold words that seemed to represent the feelings of every single person inhabiting the table resounded in a sea of a deathly silence that seemed to pass forever.
Rachel let her eyes travel to Quinn, who seemed to have fixated her eyes on a focal point in the distance.
Before she could allow herself to address the blonde, the fiery voice belonging to the Latina who had taken it upon herself to be the spokesperson for everyone's feelings, spoke up once again.
"Again I say Berry, what the fuck do you mean you just got off of the phone with Finncompetent?" She demanded of the shorter brunette.
"I-"
"Rachel what the hell is going on here, and why haven't you told me sooner?" Mercedes said, looking at Rachel with a look of true shock value. Rachel opened her mouth in her own defense but Kurt jumped to her rescue.
"She doesn't really owe anyone an explanation, except maybe Quinn. It is wrong of all of you to go all Elaine Stritch on her as if she needs to give you guys a complete play by play of her life-"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Just calm your lingerie Perez Hilton; no one is demanding anything out of the dwarf. I am Quinn's best friend, and to find out that her girlfriend's ex is blowing up her phone over a picture of them is a little bit suspicious, what do you think?" Santana said, running her finger over her wife's hand that placed on the table. Brittany seemed clearly unfazed by everything happening.
Santana casted a look to said best friend, who had both fists clenched and was still studying her coveted focal point, as if the world had stopped moving.
"It's not suspicious Santana there is nothing going on between those two-"
"Kurt you're one to talk, you seem on the defensive side yourself. If there isn't anything fucking going on then you two wouldn't have decided to conduct what seems like the biggest disaster of a fucking secret in the world, it has to be serious because you didn't tell Effie over there." Santana said as casually as she could muster.
"Watch it, Satan. What Rachel and I keep is none of anyone's damn business. There are things that don't have to be shared with everyone. Anyways who the fuck decided you deserved to know anything about Quinn's relationship with Rachel?" Kurt snapped at her, everyone seemed to be in complete shock that the boy was getting so worked up. Even Santana seemed to gasp a little bit at the usage of his f-bomb.
But she recovered quickly.
"Fuck you; I am Quinn's best friend."
"I'm Rachel's and Finn's my brother so fuck you too."
"Enough!"
The voice snapped through the thick air and rendered everyone absolutely speechless. Quinn chose that moment to let her eyes lock with the brunette's.
"Quinn, darling, I wasn't keeping anything from you. I would never do that." Quinn let her eyes travel to the hand on her thigh that was squeezing along with the soft spoken words of reassurance, and she wondered if that was what she really needed.
She honestly didn't know what she needed.
She needed a moment to collect herself from the pile of utter shit that she had fallen into on the arrival of Rachel's confession.
She had her own insecurities about Finn.
It seemed in high school he would drop Rachel like a sack of bricks and then come right on back to glee, sing her a sappy love song, and worm his way back into her heart again.
He had the ability to make her own girlfriend open her heart to forgiveness like no other and she hated every bit of it.
"I was going to tell you, but I was too focused on hearing about you, about Beth and your father. I didn't think it was important for you to know about how things were with Finn..at least not right now. I didn't want to upset you but it looks as if that's inevitable at this point, right?"
Quinn tilted her head to the side, and raked over her lover's face.
"You didn't think it was important to tell her that Finn is calling you and bitching you out over a paparazzi picture of you holding her hand?" Mercedes questioned.
Rachel sighed, "I didn't even see that goddamned picture."
Kurt sighed, "Now's a better time than ever to catch everyone up on your life, Rach."
Rachel sighs rubbing the tips of her fingers over the smooth skin of Quinn's leg under the table. "It's really hard, you know?" She spoke to herself more than anyone.
This was the moment where everyone realized that the Rachel Berry from high school was officially no more.
The Rachel Berry that they had grown to love, or hate, or maybe love to hate was gone. Because that Rachel Berry would have had no problem sharing about her life, any aspect of it for the people that wanted to hear it. This led Quinn to believe that maybe her girlfriend had something's she wasn't exactly proud of.
Rachel opened her mouth as if she was going to say something, but it seemed that her voice was caught in her throat.
Quinn licked her lips and moved her hand over her lovers.
She still hadn't spoken to her, but her hands seemed to do the talking for her. She was telling the brunette that it was okay. Despite the fact that Quinn had absolutely no clue what she was in store for.
Her body seemed to conflict with her heart.
She knew that if Finn was involved and her lover was stirred up to this point, that it couldn't be good. She was still in a state of disbelief, wondering where this was going.
Rachel sighed, "When we graduated high school, Finn went to the army as he had planned. We had a legit relationship, he sent me letters while he was in boot camp, and when he had leave…he'd come to visit me in New York."
"You and Finn stayed together? I figured you two broke up when you guys left…you were spending so much time with Quinn and talking about change-"
"We just assumed that you had outgrown Finn as a boyfriend at the way you two were acting and how you and Quinn had gotten over the whole boyfriend stealing phase of your life." Mercedes said confusedly.
Santana scoffed, "Apparently they were just in the closet."
"I told Finn we could try. I told him that I would try my hardest to make it work…despite the fact that I was so in love Quinn, I know this is stupid but he seemed more practical. I could see Finn loving me back because despite everything…he honestly did."
Quinn flinched at her words; she understood why the girl could have apprehension for pursuing a relationship with her. She had spent the last four years from eighth grade and on hating her guts for absolutely no reason.
"I couldn't fathom my relationship with Quinn going any further. We were close enough to satisfy me and I figured that was all I needed. She was headed to UCLA and I would be on a completely different coast. So, I told Finn that we could try…"
Everyone let their eyes trace the dark chocolate orbs of the girl and watched her as she struggled to continue.
"It was good for a while, hard with the distance…but maybe not so much because I didn't love him completely. I just didn't want to be alone. So I dealt with it. I found myself comfortable with him being gone, while I was at school. I could hide behind my music, behind my craft. It was an alright living situation."
Santana stared hard at the girl, "So where did the shit go wrong?"
Rachel stared in the distance, "He wanted more. Boot camp was over, he'd finished schooling and so had I…he wanted to move back to Ohio-"
"Of course," Said Mercedes.
"-Just as I had gotten my first starring role, it was off-Broadway, but only because they were trying to fund a revival of it, which I would later star in."
"Naturally, I refused to go back to Ohio with him. I wasn't about to give up the one thing I had worked my ass of in Julliard to achieve. I told Finn no."
Quinn would be lying, if she told you that the fact that her girlfriend refused to give up her dreams didn't warm her heart.
She wouldn't be able to forgive the girl or Finn if the brunette would have ruined everything she had worked so hard for her entire life. That was the one of the things that kept Quinn from telling the girl of her feelings, because she did not want to jeopardize her dreams in any way.
"Finn didn't want to break up, especially after everything he had gone through." She spoke quietly.
"Well of course Finnocence doesn't dare consider everything you had gone through. Did you once ever think about giving him up completely and going after Quinn? You were already practically living without him despite his occasional leaves. Fuck Rachel, I thought Quinn was the dense one." Santana sighed stabbing her pancake.
"I thought about Quinn every single day, I thought about her every time Finn touched me, or spoke to me, or mentioned anything that had to do with Quinn or high school. I refused to talk about her to him…I couldn't do it. Despite everything going the way I had planned it, I knew I had made the biggest of my life."
She raised her orbs to stare at the hazel ones, finding a small edge of empathy in them. Quinn had been in L.A. thinking the same thing.
"So what happened?"
"Finn got based in New York. He was there when the show went to Broadway, he was there for everything. We spent all this time together, and I slowly fell out of love with him."
"Weren't you already out of love with him?" Mercedes inquired.
"At the time I mistook the loneliness for love…but now that I look at things, yes I was. However, Finn did not understand that. He never saw the signs of my discomfort as anything other than weird, or either he associated them with the various excuses that I provided him with."
Rachel sighed, "He still wanted more. He asked me to marry him."
Quinn squeezed her girlfriend's hand tightly at the mention of marriage. She looked at Quinn directly and said, "Again, I told him no."
Everyone watched the emotions change on Rachel's face. "He got so angry…he thought I didn't love him at all. He left for a while, but came back saying that he'd wait for me until I was ready.
My career had taken off so well though, I had a couple of big time Broadway shows under my belt and a tony nod on the way…I knew I wouldn't ever be ready to marry. At least I wouldn't ever be ready to marry him."
She let a small smile trace her lips, "I knew who my heart belonged to though. But despite knowing that, despite having full knowledge that you were my destiny, I continued to stay with Finn." Rachel was starting to grow quieter now, and Quinn had a sick feeling about the way this story was turning out.
"I got distant…I didn't spend much time with him, I buried myself in my work, I refused to move in with him, I stayed as unattached as possible…and it started taking a toll on Finn."
Santana's eyes grew soft at this and the other hand of Rachel's that lay on the table; she allowed her hand surprisingly to move atop of it.
"H-he would snap at me over the littlest things…and we'd argue all the time…the aching in my heart that I felt for Quinn didn't help the cause…it made my need to be away from him grow stronger, I knew sooner or later I'd have to leave him. I knew that I was misleading him, but it seemed to be easier to deal with not having Quinn with someone, then being alone and wallowing over someone that to my knowledge didn't even want me."
She casted her eyes down to the table, "The night I was ready to end things, he came to my apartment…and…"
She swallowed. "I told him that I couldn't lie to him anymore…that it wasn't going to work. I told him that I didn't love him like I used to, that I had fallen out of love with him a long time ago…and that I was sorry that I hadn't told him sooner instead of leading him on. I told him that I understood that he might not want to be friends…but I cared about him enough to still want to be friends with him."
She looked up at Quinn, "He just got so mad…he thought that I was telling him that I never loved him, he accused me of cheating on him…he grabbed me and was shaking me, demanding the answers out of me…I told him no. I told him that I loved him, always did…but I wasn't in love with him anymore. He told me I was lying to him, and his eyes were wild, he was shaking me so hard I could feel myself getting dizzy…all I could remember was him stopping long enough to raise his hand back…"
Quinn's eyes glazed over as the next words came out of Rachel's mouth, "He hit me so hard."
The entire table was so silent that even the noise from the other parts of the restaurant couldn't penetrate the bubble of quietness that had surrounded the former gleek's table.
"I literally was thrown backwards into my shelf…" She felt her eyes grow hard. "He grabbed me and he just kept hitting me, over and over again." She bit her lip.
"He kept telling me it was my fault, he kept telling me that I was a liar, and I deserved the pain that he was feeling…I tried to get him to stop…I screamed his name over and over again. I remember going hoarse from yelling for him to stop…and then finally it was like something snapped in him and he stopped hitting me."
She closed her eyes tightly. She couldn't bring herself to look at Quinn.
"I collapsed, because I was bleeding so profusely…I had lost all of my energy. I felt terrible. He leaned down and tried to pick me up but I pushed him away. He tried to tell me that he was sorry, he starting crying…but I told him to leave…he just kept saying over and over again that he loved me, that he never do it again…he continued to pull me to him. He kept trying to pick me up…" she couldn't finish, but Kurt was right there with her, his hand on her hand along with everyone else at the table.
"Finn got angry when Rachel finally got the strength to push him off of her, he went crazy…he tried to-he tried to choke her." Quinn balled her other hand into a fist so tightly that you could see the white of her knuckles as she listened.
"I happened to be coming over that night afterwards, Blaine was in town at the time and we had decided to be there for Rachel afterwards."
Kurt spoke of his boyfriend that he met during his senior year. They stayed together ever since. They both moved to New York and got accepted to NYADA. However Blaine went on the entertainment route, whereas Kurt ended up going back to school for fashion.
"I had been knocking on the door when I heard Finn screaming as he choked her…luckily Blaine knocked down the door in time…Rachel was almost blue in the face when Blaine pulled him off of her."
Quinn's eyes still focused on Rachel, but it wasn't like she was looking at her, it was more like she was looking through her. Rachel felt like she was under so much scrutiny, it was as if the girl was trying to decipher the words that were assaulting her ears.
"Finn completely went nuts…I called the police before Blaine had knocked him out. They trashed Rachel's apartment pretty bad." He finished.
Rachel took that moment to speak. "He got dishonorable discharge, and served some time in jail. I had to stay in the hospital for a little bit. My fathers and I wanted to insure that nothing major had been done to damage my vocal chords. After he served his time, he got permission from his probation officer to call me on the phone to talk. He apologized so much…told me he didn't know what he was thinking. He said he loved me so much and he always would, he told me he wanted another chance…I told him I forgave him, but I couldn't do it."
Rachel casted her eyes so deeply into her lovers, trying to pull the blonde from the deep place she seemed to be in. Her eyes begged for the hazel ones to join them.
"I told him that we could always be friends though, and he handled it pretty well. He moved back to Ohio, and I got my Tony's. I got a record deal and had put the whole thing behind me; we talked every now and then on the phone…brief conversations. But he started to get attached to me again…he called a lot, and he started getting angry every time I spoke to him about something new in my life."
"The worse moment was when I finally gained the gall to tell him about my love for Quinn…he snapped on me, told me I was lying and that I could never be gay, because I had sex with him. He claimed that Quinn had done something to me, changed me. He threatened to come back to New York and find me, and hurt me. He didn't want to hear anything I had to say. I hung up the phone, and he slipped into relapse and got arrested for trashing some bar in Cleveland. Went back to jail, and then got back out on probation again. He was sentenced to permanent probation in Lima…I try to cut off contact with him but…he calls me every now and then. Goes on a long winded rant…it only happens every now and then, but every time we usually end up in an argument…today he called to tell me that he saw the pictures of Quinn and I leaving the club last night…I pick up the phone because I honestly do care about him…I honestly think that maybe one day we can be friends."
The table was in shock. There were so many bizarre things about the information that Rachel had shared with them. Too much to decipher. Santana stared at the brunette girl in complete and utter disdain.
The brunette didn't have any idea what was going through her friend's brains, but she knew they probably all thought she was an idiot for still associating with Finn.
Surprisingly, she didn't care though. She had her own reasons, and her own morals despite what they thought.
She did however, wonder what her girlfriend thought of her. She pulled her hand out from under Santana's to grab onto the fist that laid on the table. The woman's jaw was clenched so tightly, Rachel was sure that it would lock up. She touched the whitened knuckles before whispering to her.
"Quinn…"
The blonde seemed to snap from the trance she had been stuck in at the soft sound of her girlfriend addressing her directly.
She pulled her hands from Rachel's and stood up briskly, before walking away from the table and out of the restaurant.
"Quinn, wait!" Rachel stood and went to run after her girlfriend before she felt her wrist being caught by Santana.
She turned around to see the Latina standing there, eyes filled with knowing. "Let her go."
"But, I need to go after her, Santana. What if she does something stupid? She didn't even speak to me…" She said defeated.
Santana pulled Rachel down to a seat and took her hand again. "Listen, Quinn is angry. She needs to be alone with those crazy thoughts right now. Let her be. She will talk to you when she is ready, understand? Just let her be, right now. She won't do anything stupid, trust me."
Brittany chose that moment to speak, "She's probably in her secret room."
Kurt looked at the blonde confusedly and then looked to her wife, "Secret room?"
Santana rolled her eyes, "Quinn apparently has a room in her house that no one is allowed into unless your name is Brittany or Quinn."
"Why aren't you allowed Satan?" Mercedes questioned.
Santana cracked a grin, "Because that room, if it even exists…only exists for the people that Quinnie feels comfortable sharing her feelings with…all of them. It's easier for Quinn to share all of her feelings with Brittany because Brittany will take it lighter than I will. Despite the fact that Quinn is comfortable and adjusted to my personality, when it comes to certain things…I'm ill equipped."
Kurt laughed, "And so Brittany sees the secret room, because of that."
Santana pointed her fork at him, "Laugh all you want Dorothy, my Britts is an amazing listener and that is what Quinn needs sometimes."
Rachel sighed, "What are the chances of me getting into this secret room Brittany?"
The blonde sipped out of her straw, "Pretty high…Quinn spends the majority of the time in her secret room talking about you. So you should be like, the queen of the secret room since she has mentioned your name so much."
Rachel raised her eyebrows.
"She's been in love with you for forever Berry; of course she'll let you in the room."
The brunette let her heart flutter at the fact that Quinn loved and trusted her that much, but she couldn't help but wonder if getting into her girlfriend's mind would as easy as getting into her so-called secret room.
Rachel left the restaurant shortly after the conversation, driving straight to Quinn's house in a flurry of excitement and feelings, and apprehension.
She didn't know whether the girl was angry or disappointed, or anything. She couldn't even bring herself to speak to the brunette.
Rachel didn't know what was in store for her, but she was about to dive head first into it. Pulling in the driveway of Quinn's condo, she was out of her car at the door before she even realized it.
Standing still at the entrance of the home, Rachel raised her hand to knock only to hear loud music flowing from what seemed to be deep inside.
The door was cracked, and so instead of Rachel being her usual formal self, she pushed the door open and stepped into the familiar place.
The living room was as usual extremely tidy and in order, and Rachel shut the door, before letting the loud tones of the music lead her through the home in earnest curiosity.
The reverberations of a high pitched man singing his appreciation for a woman and her one night stand, resounded in Rachel's eardrums even louder as she approached the a room further down the hallway.
The door to this room was ajar as well, and despite her hesitation, Rachel entered.
The music was at the highest volume it seemed and Rachel glanced around the room at the setting. She allowed her eyes to take in the most original room in the entire house.
There were windows, large windows that lead a view into the field of grass outside of the home. There weren't any curtains, only sight. The light from the California sun shone through the glass and Rachel glanced up above her to the skylight that casted the same ray of light.
There were so many things that obscured her vision, she didn't even know if she had the ability to take in every single thing that was taking up space in the area.
There were four cameras in each corner of the large expanse, expensive ones. They were cameras that apparently had seen more than they gave themselves credit for judging by the framed black and white photos that took up every single crevice or space on the walls.
Canvas stood in rows and canvas paper filled with color and art of all kinds took up the floor space. Rachel stepped further into the room, the footsteps falling on deaf ears under the tones of music vibrating the space around them.
She finally allowed her eyes land on the blonde, who was wearing the same cut off shorts from their brunch but had replaced her red shirt with a large denim button down. She had rolled the sleeves to stop at her elbows, and was brandishing a paint brush in mid air as if it were a spear and the canvas was her target.
Rachel glance at the canvas, which held various colors. They all meshed together, creating a frenzy of imaginative artistic poetry.
She looked at the blonde who launched a spot of blue at the paper and Rachel noticed that she wasn't at all near the painting. She was simply throwing her paint and waiting to see what happened.
Rachel stood in awe of her lover as she grunted with each winding of her arm, she was so angry. The brunette had the answer to her earlier question.
She stepped closer to the woman watching her feel every inch of color that dressed the paper in true anger. It hurt to know that in some way, she had caused that anger.
Then again, Rachel felt herself grow confused.
She didn't honestly understand why she was being given the silent treatment. She had hoped that the girl could have offered her a semblance of what she was feeling.
She needed to know what her lover was feeling, she craved it. It was a wound that she had closed despite the phone calls she would receive every now and then, and now it was opened again due to her provoked confession.
She honestly was going to tell the blonde.
She was going to tell her when things cooled down in an intimate setting, somewhere that she could be completely honest and open with the woman.
She was not thinking of pushing that conversation to the middle of a breakfast diner in the middle of their reunion with their old high school friends, but it had happened and now she had to deal with the consequences.
She gained the courage to reach up and touch her lover on the shoulder. The girl whirled around at the foreign feeling of someone in the room with her and when she locked eyes with the brunette, she dropped her brush, watching it splatter across the little space of the hardwood floor that was clear.
She stalked over to the stereo and ripped the dial to the volume down just as the female sings about her boyfriend making his greatest mistake.
"What the hell are you doing in here Rachel?" Quinn snapped.
Rachel felt the hairs stand up on her arms at the tone of her girlfriend's voice, but she felt her feet move anyway towards the girl.
"Quinn, I'm sorry I came in here, I just wanted to check on you. You left so quickly, before I could get to you…" Rachel had come to face the girl with only mere inches between them. She led her fingers towards the skin of her cheek to caress lightly, but the blonde moved away from her.
"Don't touch me."
Rachel's eyes grew wide, "I'm just trying to talk to you, I just want to know how you feel, and I just want to understand what is going through your head right now just…let me in." She spoke softly, reaching for the arms the girl, but Quinn sidestepped her.
"Rachel I don't want to talk right now. I just want to be alone, please leave." She spoke eyes filled with an emotion that Rachel couldn't exactly decipher, but the fire that surfaced for the second that Rachel saw it led her to believe that there was a challenge within them.
"We were fine the night before all of this, and now you are cut off from me. I figured you'd be upset about Finn but I didn't intend on telling the entire table all of that…I wanted to be able to talk to you in private about it but I guess that didn't happen, please stop walking away from me." Rachel pleaded following the girl around in the circle she seemed to be going in to stay away from her girlfriend.
"I don't give a fuck about Finn, Rachel." Quinn spoke stopping to bend down and pick up some of the falling canvas paper on the ground. Her voice was shaky, and Rachel could see the skin of her girlfriend turning red with every second that passed.
That didn't stop the brunette from pushing, though.
"Obviously you do, Quinn," Rachel said folding her arms and watching the blonde laugh cynical laughter and shake her head, "You care about it, otherwise you wouldn't be avoiding me like the plague…I'm just trying to understand-"
"Understand this Rachel, I don't want to fucking talk about it." Quinn snapped trying to stay calm. She just couldn't understand why the girl wasn't taking the hint.
Couldn't she see her falling apart?
Rachel grew angry at that point, "No, Quinn! I don't understand that. I'm supposed to be your girlfriend. You're supposed to be open with me. I thought we got past this?" Rachel stepped forward grabbing the girl's arm, "please just…goddamn it, talk to me!"
Quinn snapped.
"How could you be so fucking stupid! How could you let him do that to you! I can't believe you, Rachel!"
The blonde's voice echoed off the walls and vibrated throughout Rachel's ears.
She was visibly shaking now, she had dropped the paper that had been taking up the space in her hands and snatched her arms from Rachel.
She stalked away from her going over to the open window, gripping the edge of the windowsill in an attempt to calm herself down.
"Quinn, I didn't let him do anything…I trusted Finn-"
"Yeah well that was your first dumbass mistake, I never trusted that asshole…but never did I ever think that he was that much of an idiot to bash your face in all over your apartment." Quinn spoke through gritted teeth.
Rachel looked at her lover incredulously. "Quinn, what is your fucking problem? You think I wanted to be beaten half to death for trying to be happy?"
"He almost killed you Rachel! How can you still trust him? How can you still answer your phone when he calls you? How can you ever forgive him?" Quinn screamed, stepping forward to grab her girlfriend.
"I still care about him, Quinn…I can't hate him for loving me, he just lost control, Quinn please calm down, please let's just talk about this-"
Quinn snatched her hands away from the woman. "I can't fucking calm down! I hate him for loving you! I always have, and now I hate him even more! I want him dead, Rachel…do you know how that makes me feel? Do you know how hard it is for me to resist getting on a plane back to Ohio and murdering him with my bare hands?"
Rachel watched her girlfriend's veins pulsate as she screamed at her, and she understood now what Santana meant by leaving her alone with her thoughts.
In this particular moment, Quinn's emotions were running haywire and she needed to vent them.
Rachel, however, was not going to give up.
"Baby, I understand-"
"You don't fucking understand anything! I can't get that image of you turning blue from him choking you out of my head, he is scum. And then you tell me that you are still friends with him? That you still associate with him? Fuck that!"
"Fuck Quinn, it might be easy for you to hold all of your fucking grudges against everyone that wronged you, but I am not that cold." Rachel seethed.
"Being the best friend of someone who tried to murder you doesn't sound better than that, Rachel!"
"Goddamn it, then what would you suggest? That I tell him to fuck off and die? I'm sorry but the Quinn Fabray way of jumping into angry tangents isn't exactly how I do things!"
Quinn backed her lover into a corner, "Everyone can't be fucking forgiven, Rachel. What if he fucking tries to do it again?"
"He won't Quinn, I know he won't."
"You don't know anything apparently; otherwise you would have prevented him from kicking your ass the first time-"
Her words were cut short from the sound of the smack that Rachel landed on her cheek.
Quinn heard it before she felt it.
A moment of shock passed between the two where Rachel stood stock still, stunned at her own display of violence towards the blonde.
Quinn felt the sting creep up her jawline slowly, and with hard eyes she stared at Rachel. Her flashing eyes flickering back and forth between the girl and her still poised hand.
Rachel waved it back to swing again, but Quinn caught it and slammed the girl into the wall behind them pressing her lips hotly against her mouth.
The brunette fought against the blonde's grasp, using her free hand to attempt to push the girl away. But Quinn was stronger than the singer and had grabbed onto her other wrist and raised both forcibly above the girl.
Quinn angrily worked her mouth over her lovers, lips and teeth clashing in an assault of the intimate senses. Quinn forced her tongue in the brunette's mouth, filling and dueling with her partner's.
Quinn didn't know what was happening to her, she had absolutely no control over her body. She didn't understand what had just happening. She just knew that she was angry and she needed a way to lose herself in it all. She needed a way to get rid all of the consuming feelings.
Biting her girlfriend's neck she seethed, "I'm going to make you understand Rachel. I'm going to fuck you into this wall until you understand how angry it makes me. How absolutely maddening it is to think about someone else touching you in any way…" Rachel moaned her response, her body betraying her angry mindset.
Quinn ripped her hands from Rachel's wrist and ripped her straps from her shoulders allowing the sound of the fabric ripping to fill her senses.
"Quinn, my dress…" Rachel sobbed, and Quinn had it down her legs in a matter of minutes leaving Rachel surprisingly in just heels, and if it was possible Quinn felt herself grow even more hot.
She dipped her head to take a breast in her mouth, biting the flesh and sucking on the brown nipples.
Rachel fisted her hand in the blonde curls, yanking them. She let her hands travel from the top of her head to her neck and she made to push her jean shirt off her shoulders, feeling the smooth muscle of her girlfriend's shoulders, and snapping her bra open.
She yanked the cups off her, with a ferocity that only Quinn could bring out of her.
Quinn sucked in a breath at the feeling of Rachel running her nails over the ripple of her back in between her shoulders.
"Fuck, Rach," She reached behind her and grabbed the hands and slammed them back above the girl's head.
"I'm fucking you, not the other way around, understand?"
"Now you want to help me understand things?" Rachel spat at her, and she understood what this was even more. It was Quinn being angry, vicious even.
Rachel brought her hand down to undue the button of Quinn's shorts, and before she knew it her bare ass was being gripped by the slender fingers and she was hoisted off of the ground.
She grabbed at her girlfriend's breast running a thumb over Quinn's rosy nipple roughly, catching the girl off guard long enough to attach her mouth to her ear.
Quinn cried out at the feeling of the bite that she landed to the tip of it.
She gripped the girls thighs and rammed her into the wall, causing Rachel to bite down harder at the contact of her back with the wall.
Rachel slid one hand down her girlfriend's bare stomach and dipped her fingers into her panties, feeling the moisture that had gathered.
"Let me fuck you, Quinn." Rachel purred playing with her girlfriend's opening, intrigued by the effect it was having on the girl.
But it was quite clear who was going to win this battle of control.
Quinn threw her head back and moaned, while Rachel wrapped her legs around the girl locking them in a constricted embrace.
"F-fuck Rach…"
Quinn braced one hand one the wall, and used the other to pull Rachel's roughly from her panties.
She struggled, gripping the hand tightly pushing it up beside her head, dipping down to bite a violent mark into Rachel's neck, and sucking on the spot.
Rachel cried out, feeling her legs tingle, and her body grow wetter with Quinn thrusting her pelvis harshly into her.
"I can feel you, your fucking juice is all over my stomach." Quinn growled, and Rachel moaned at her words.
Rachel strained against her lover's hold still attempting to fight the girl, but losing more every second. She realized she had another hand free and reached up to clutch Quinn's shoulder only to grab onto the girl's neck.
Quinn, called out feeling Rachel applying pressure to her throat, lightly but still pushing up in a forcing way that made her shiver with arousal.
Rachel moaned feeling Quinn grip her wrist even harder, her nipples perking up still at the movement of her girlfriend's hips.
She needed more, she needed more skin.
"Give me all of you Quinn…right now." She rasped breathlessly, and Quinn shook her head, using the hand that had previously been on the wall to reach for the one Rachel had around her throat.
Rachel managed to free her wrist and slap the other side of Quinn's face, pushing the girl even farther.
Quinn ripped her hand from her throat and roared, ramming her into the wall again. Rachel was sure that she was going to break the wall in.
"You bitch…trying to be Finn now?" She choked out and without any other interruptions she held Rachel's hands to her chest and pushed her shorts and panties down her legs freeing her throbbing center from its confinement.
She let go of Rachel's hands to reach down and detach her legs long enough to spread them on either side of her in midair, before slamming her center into the girls.
Rachel screamed out at the feeling of her throbbing clit rubbing against her girlfriend's, she let her head fall back against the wall.
"Oh, fuck Quinn!" The blonde held her thighs tightly, fucking her clit with her own, the pressure from the two body parts making her body roll with pleasure.
"Finn fuck you like this? Huh? You like his dick inside of you, or my pussy inside of you?" Quinn growled and Rachel grabbed the blonde's hair pulling the hair so hard Quinn was sure she was going to rip it from her scalp.
"Fuck you…I-I almost never…I fucking…fuck Quinn!" Rachel mewled, unable to argue the girl for the feeling of their body's moving so harshly throwing her speech completely off.
Quinn let her mind briefly wander over the thought that her girlfriend had let Finn be inside of her.
She leaned her mouth to her ear, "That really fucking pisses me off."
She dropped one of Rachel's legs to wrap around her waist before she rammed three fingers inside of the girl.
"Quinn!"
Quinn let her eyes close at the feeling of being inside of the girl. "God you feel so good baby, so tight. So perfect…"
Rachel moaned so loud it vibrated against the blonde's ears, she wrapped her arms around Quinn's neck and reveled in the feeling of the girl's fingers fucking her deeply.
Rachel reached down between them and played with her lovers clit, feeling the girl lose her rythym inside of her.
"Fuck Rachel…I-I…." She went to move her hand, but Rachel slapped her cheek a little lighter.
"Stop fighting me, back…fuck!" Rachel screamed feeling Quinn hit her spot harshly.
"Get your fucking hands off of me, I'm fucking you, Rachel. And I'm not going to stop until you understand how crazy you make me." Quinn growled adding a fourth finger inside of the girl feeling her stretch with the added intrusion.
"Fuck Quinn, I feel you everywhere! Oh my god…" Rachel felt her eyes roll back, it was as if Quinn was filling her completely, she couldn't even rub the girl's clit anymore because she was being fucked so good.
"I want you to feel me, forever, Rachel. I won't stop until I've gotten every memory of him out of you…fuck, do you understand?"
"Quinn-"
"Do you fucking understand me?" Quinn gasped ramming her fingers into her girlfriend with every word causing the girl to cry out over and over again.
"Yes Quinn, I understand…I understand baby." She moaned reaching behind to grip her ass as she worked her over.
Quinn threw her head back as Rachel needed the flesh of her ass, before smacking it hard.
"Harder baby, please!" Rachel moaned out her body growing more hot and starting to vibrate with the anticipation.
She leaned down to attach her mouth to the girl's neck sucking harshly and Quinn moaned fucking her lover with such an intense force that her vision started to blur. Rachel ran her hand back to the front of the girl, dipping two fingers into her heat despite her protests.
"Oh fuck Rachel!"
"Fuck Quinn, you've been wet for me this entire time…you're dripping all over my fingers." Rachel gasped as Quinn fucked her even harder.
And so they matched a rythym, meeting each other's thrusts and Rachel felt Quinn trying to make her understand how she felt. She was trying to fuck her feelings into the female.
"I can't stand that he hurt you…somebody so perfect, and it was my fault…because I couldn't get to you sooner. I was so caught up in myself trying to move on…I didn't even go after what mattered the most." Quinn gasped, and Rachel knew she was close.
"It isn't your fault Quinn…none of it is your fault…Jesus Christ, Quinn I'm so close!" Rachel sobbed, and she braced her head back against the wall adding a third finger into her lover.
They were both on edge, the string tying them together at the complete breaking point.
Quinn buried her head in Rachel's shoulder using her hips to push her fingers rougher into the girl's body, rolling her hips. Rachel felt her body constrict around Quinn's fingers. She used her thumb to flick Quinn's clit while thrusting her fingers knowing it would bring her with her.
Quinn felt her vision go icy white and she cried out biting down on Rachel's neck again causing the brunette to scream bloody murder as she climaxed.
Rachel felt her legs sieze up and shake around her girlfriend as went tumbling.
She was falling, and falling and she didn't think she'd ever stop.
She briefly felt them sink off of the wall to the ground, something wet dripping onto her skin. Opening her eyes, she felt her girlfriend…crying into her neck softly.
"I should have told you…I should have confessed my feelings, none of that would have happened…I'm so sorry." She whispered brokenly.
"It isn't your fault, Quinn…" Rachel said stroking her hair.
"I'm sorry…"
It was all that Rachel's ears seem to hear. Broken I love you's and whispered apologies coming from her girlfriend.
Rachel found herself leaking her own tears, listening to her lover cry her sorrow at something that although was in the past, affected her to a harsh extreme.
And she didn't understand all of it, but she understood enough to know that her girlfriend was a lot more damaged than she let on, and no one either noticed or cared enough to try and help her.
The walls had been wrecklessly torn down and Rachel was standing in the middle of the rubble that had been left.
This person with the tattoos and the secret room was someone who had been torn and ripped and molded into a force that was slowly starting to fade into something that once was.
Rachel had assumed that the woman she was in love with would be a challenge.
Quinn Fabray was more than a challenge.
She was something that needed to be fought for, something that needed to be earned and cherished as more than a lover, more than a girlfriend.
She needed to be someone's everything.
She was everything.
And it was in that moment that Rachel decided that she was going to be the one to do that for her.
She would spend the ends of the earth being there, and cherishing the woman, and earning her.
She was going to make sure that Quinn understood that she was everything.
A/N: Not sure about that ending, but I stayed up all night trying to get this for you guys so we'll just go with it. I hope you guys really like it, cause it will make my tiredness at school today worth it. Lol.
Review!
-Mimi