AUTHOR'S NOTE: As always, thanks for your reviews :) I promise, I'll soon be returning your nice comments with some reviews of your stories as well. I'm excited to read more stuff, but university takes up tons of time :( But anyway, this chapter really starts to put the central plot into motion, and we'll soon be getting to the heart of everyone's real motivations. It would have been up earlier, but I felt it necessary to make some major revisions that I think you guys will enjoy!

CHAPTER SIX

Go out. Do new things. Meet new people. Give them a chance.

Logan made this his new mantra as he slowly began to fall into a nap, fully clothed, on his bed. He'd just gotten back from his last session with Dr. Riley, and all of the crazy things going through his head had just tired him out. He didn't want to fall asleep. The dream from the night before still haunted him, and he didn't want to run the risk of having another one just like it.

Luckily for him, he went into a gentle, dream-free slumber that last for about two hours. He woke up at around 6:45PM, and, unfortunately, the first person he saw was the one causing him all the pain.

"Wake up," the familiar voice called softly. "Wake up, wake up, wake up, Logan."

He opened his eyes and stared right into Kendall's.

"Finally!" Kendall exclaimed. "Get up! We're going out!"

Logan couldn't tell if it was a dream or not, but if it was, he wasn't going to let it end up like the last one. "No, Kendall, go away..." he babbled incoherently. "I don't want to...leave me alone..."

"Nope, you're waking up!" said Kendall. He took hold of Logan's knobby ankles and pulled as hard he could to try to get the smaller guy off of the bed. Naturally, the good-natured Kendall was doing more laughing than pulling.

Logan, however, was not amused. Feeling his body rub against the sheets woke him up for good, but all of the frustration and stress that he associated with Kendall came out. "Dude!" he yelled. "What the hell?"

"You need to wake up!" said Kendall as he stopped tugging at Logan's feet. He stood with his hands on his hips and a rambunctious smile on his face.

Logan rubbed his head. Ugh...he wanted to be pissed off, but he could never stay mad when Kendall wore that impish grin.

"I have a surprise for you," Kendall said as he went to their closet. "Get your glad rags on, my friend. We're going to get you a girlfriend."

Logan sat up in bed on his elbows. Still a little groggy, he really didn't comprehend a thing Kendall had said. Something about a "girlfriend." Getting him a "girlfriend."

"Kendall, what are you talking about?" he asked.

Kendall shook his head. He tossed a pretty snazzy shirt and some jeans onto Logan's bed. "Just put these on." Dressed in his own casual wear, he went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and fix his hair.

Logan didn't know what the hell was going on. This was so like Kendall, just coming in here, throwing him around, demanding things from him. But, of course, this had always been Kendall's style, so Logan didn't know why it bothered him so much now. In the past, he'd appreciated Kendall's forceful nature. It had served him well in helping him get over his insecurities and perceived inadequacies. Left to his own devices, he would have never tried anything new or met any new people. But Kendall always pushed him.

"While you were at your Trigonometry Club thing today, Jo and I ran into one of her friends from acting school," said Kendall as he came back into the bedroom. "She's very pretty and very sweet, and she's perfect for you."

"Wait...where are we going?"

"On a double date! Me and Jo, and you and Michelle." Kendall beamed at Logan with pride. "She's a hot one, Logan."

"What the...Michelle?" Logan was upset. "Kendall, I thought I told you this morning that I wasn't ready for anything like that yet. I still need time to get over...Camille." He almost said "you."

Kendall took a seat next to Logan on the bed and, of course, threw his arm around Logan's shoulders.

"No," said Logan restlessly. He didn't want to be touched, especially not by Kendall. He escaped the friendly arm.

"Look, I'm sorry!" Kendall said sincerely. "But come on, let's be real here. You know and I know that if you were left to move on from Camille all by yourself, you'd get nowhere. You'd just lie here in this bed all day thinking about her and dreaming about her and going nuts. I'm just doing what I've always done. I'm giving you that little extra push when you really need it. You go out, meet Michelle, and you'll forget all about the on-and-off craziness you had with Camille. Now, doesn't that sound like a good idea?"

Ugh, Logan thought. He really didn't feel like dealing with this.

But then it dawned on him. Kendall thought that this double date was going to help Logan get rid of his feelings for Camille. Fine. He didn't need to know the truth. He didn't need to know that the real feelings Logan wanted to get rid of were actually for him. This was perfect. Absolutely perfect. Whoever this Michelle girl was, Logan suddenly hoped that she was as sweet and as pretty as Kendall had said she was. He was going to give this girl a real chance, even if it killed him.

And so what if he'd also be spending time with Kendall? The two would cancel each other out. Just like a math problem, actually. A positive and a negative would always cancel each other out...but only if they were of equal value. Would Logan be interested enough in this Michelle person to not even notice Kendall was there? He would definitely try, that's for sure. Jo would be there, too, and she was essential. Jo made things different.

"I'll be waiting," Kendall said as he went for the door. "And trust me, Logan. You'll be thanking me for this!"

Logan was already feeling thankful. Kendall cared enough to do this for him, to find him a girl and help him get over his problems. Kendall cared, he really cared. But, Logan had to remind himself, Kendall's "care" was only toxic to him, so, while he appreciated Kendall's actions, he did not want to dwell on them.

"Michelle," he whispered under his breath as he started to change clothes. "Michelle."

"I don't know what's keeping them," Kendall said as he and Logan sat on a bench in the park across from a fancy Italian restaurant. "I told them 7:30."

"Maybe you should try calling Jo again," Logan suggested.

"I guess."

Kendall dialed Jo's number, but, for what seemed like the hundredth time, there was no answer.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. There were supposed to be girls here tonight. Jo for Kendall, and this Michelle girl for Logan. They'd double date and have a good time. Then, maybe, they'd go to some secluded spot in the park, and Logan could really, really give this girl a chance. Michelle would soon own every free second of his time...he'd be with her all day and think about her when he wasn't with her. He'd dream about her in his sleep, and things would be perfect. Years in the future, when he and Michelle would take their children to Disneyland, he'd think back to how he'd once felt about his old friend Kendall, and he'd laugh, laugh, laugh.

Logan knew he was getting a little demented, but he didn't care. He needed this to work. He needed it more than anything else in the world.

"Call her again," Logan begged impatiently, his heart rate starting to increase.

"She's not answering," said Kendall. "What would be the point? And you ought to really think about calming down. I know you're excited to meet Michelle, but jeez."

Logan tried to calm down, but he couldn't. If Jo and Michelle didn't show up, then what? Kendall would say that there's no use in wasting a good reservation, and the two of them would go in and have dinner together. They'd eat, talk, feel close to one another...and Logan didn't need that...not at this point. Not when he was so ready to finally move on from Kendall.

Who was he kidding? How could he ever move on from Kendall? Just sitting there on a park bench with him, a little breeze blowing in the air, made him want Kendall. He wished he could just turn to Kendall and say it. "I love you, but I know I shouldn't. Make it better." Because Kendall made everything better.

The phone rang.

"Jo! Where are you? I called you a thousand times!" said Kendall.

Logan could breathe a little sigh of relief. It looked like things were starting to come together the way he'd hoped they would.

"Wait...what do you mean you have to do publicity?"

No, Logan thought. No, no, no. She couldn't be backing out at the last minute.

Kendall rolled his eyes on the phone. "How do you forget that you're supposed to be on a plane to Hawaii?"

Logan could feel sweat starting to form at his hairline.

"Well, what about Michelle?"

Yes, Logan thought. What about Michelle?

"Good," said Kendall. "I'm glad she didn't just randomly forget about a six-hour flight like some people do..."

She was going to be there! Michelle was going to be there!

Kendall hung up the phone. "It looks like something extremely important just happened to come up for Jo...again...like always."

"What about Michelle?" Logan asked. He just wanted to know for sure that she'd still be there.

"She'll be here in a few min-"

"Kendall! It's nice to see you again. And this must be Logan?"

It was a girl. A beautiful girl with long, black hair, red lipstick, and a warm smile. She wore a modest outfit of dark blue jeans and a lacy blouse.

"Michelle!" Kendall greeted. "I just talked to Jo!"

He stood up and made the introductions. "Logan, this is Jo's friend Michelle, and, Michelle, this is Logan Mitchell. My best friend in the whole world."

Logan lamely rose to his feet and extended his hand to Michelle. Kendall had been right! She was absolutely gorgeous. Logan didn't like to compare girls by their looks, but she was definitely better-looking than Camille. This could work. It could really work. All he had to do was spend some time with her...get to know her...put forth some real effort. In no time at all, they'd be together, and all would be well with the world.

"It's nice to meet you," he said in a slightly squeaky voice. This could work, yes, but his nerves were still shot.

"It's nice to meet you, too," Michelle replied. She took his hand and shook it gently. Their eyes met, and Logan tried his best to hide the desperation in his.

This could work. It had to work.

Michelle's phone started to ring. "Oh, excuse me," she said. "It's my friend Kerry...she's taking this really killer calculus class at UCLA this summer, and I'm the only one in our circle who knows anything about math. You don't mind if I calm her down for a second, do you?"

"No, go right ahead," said Kendall. Logan nodded in agreement.

"Okay, great! You guys go on ahead, I'll catch up."

Michelle stayed by the bench to take her call while Logan and Kendall crossed the street to stand outside the restaurant.

"Well, it looks like you're flying solo tonight," said Kendall. "Didn't I tell you she was gorgeous? And did you hear? She's a math genius! Perfect girl for you."

"Yes, she's seems very smart. And pretty," said Logan. "But wait! What do you mean 'flying solo?'"

"Jo's not here. I don't want to be a third wheel, and I'm sure you'd like some alone time with little Miss Michelle, right?" Kendall nudged at his shoulder.

"Yeah...that would actually be nice," said Logan. He checked her out from across the street...yeah, it'd be very nice indeed. He was sort of intimidated by the thought of being alone with a girl he didn't even know, but he had to give her a real chance. He had to get the sexy blond in the dress pants and sneakers out of his mind.

"All right, then, I'll get out of your way," Kendall said slyly. He began to walk away. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do! And...don't do some of the things I would do, either!"

"Sure thing," Logan called to him as he vanished down the sidewalk, but he wasn't sure at all. This was going to be awkward as hell, and he knew it. In a matter of minutes, the plans had gone from a double date to just he and Kendall hanging out to he and Kendall hanging out with this girl and now just he and this girl. But he had to make it work. This opportunity fell into his hands, and it had to work.

Michelle made her way across the street. "Sorry about that," she said.

"No, no, that's perfectly fine," said Logan.

"Where did Kendall go?"

"He, um, he left. I guess he's gonna go home and text Jo all night..."

They both nervously giggled, and Logan realized that she was just as unsure about this as he was. But that only made it sweeter...they'd get to know one another, help each other feel at ease, and it'd be special

"Shall we?" he asked, offering his arm.

"We shall," she said.

This had to be good. It just had to be.

Things seemed to be going well.

"Too bad Kendall and Jo couldn't make it," Michelle lamented after the waiter took their orders.

"Yeah," said Logan. He was still so overcome with nerves, but they were getting better. He was eager to know more about this girl. "So, are you a native?"

"A native? Of California?"

"Yeah."

"Actually, no," she answered. "I'm originally from Roswell. It's a town in New Mexico."

"Oh! Really?" Logan asked. He blushed a little. "You're not, you know, an alien or anything?"

"A...what?"

"You know...Roswell...UFO landing...1947..."

His attempt at a joke was completely lost on Michelle. "Oh. I think I heard about that once."

Oh crap, Logan thought. I'm being a dork, and she's looking at me weirdly.

"Well...what brought you out West?" he asked.

"I wanted to be an actress," said Michelle. "After my mom died, it was just me and my dad, and I went to him and told him I wanted to act. He packed us up, moved us out here, and got me into some acting classes. I had to audition for twenty-seven agents before one liked me."

"Wow," said Logan, truly riveted by the story. She seemed to be a good girl. She had a dream-like quality in her eye, as if she fully believed in everything she talked about. She reminded him a bit of Camille.

"Yep. And the first one who wanted me wasn't...well, let's just say his plans weren't very wholesome. We got rid of him and had to go through six more agents until we found one who we could trust, which is very hard to do in Hollywood."

Logan agreed.

"But enough about me," she said. "Tell me about you guys."

"Heh, well there's really not much to tell," he replied. "It all started when our friend James wanted to be a pop superstar. They were holding open auditions back home, so we all went to give him some support. Turns out, Gustavo thought James was horrible, but he loved Kendall. Kendall, though, would not agree to record a demo unless Gustavo took us all. And the rest, as they say, is history..."

Michelle swooned a little. "Sounds like Kendall is a great guy."

"Yeah, he is," Logan said. Quickly, he tried to change the subject. "You know, I never really wanted to do the whole song-and-dance thing. I wanted to be a doctor, but-"

"How long have you known him?" she asked.

"Known who?"

"Kendall, silly!"

Obviously, Logan didn't want to talk about Kendall, but he couldn't let her see that. "Uh...we've actually been friends for a very long time. We met in elementary school."

"Jo is just crazy about him. All she talks about is Kendall, Kendall, Kendall!"

Logan paused, trying to be polite. "Yes...well, like I said. He's a great guy." In his mind, he skimmed through other topics that would be easier for him to talk about without sounding like a dork. Not that just talking about Kendall was messing with his head, but...it had the potential to mess with his head, so the less Kendall talk, the better.

"How?" Michelle asked abruptly, catching him off guard.

"Come again?"

"How is Kendall a great guy?"

Logan fiddled with the straw in his drink. "Um...well, he's just...he's always putting his friends first. Kendall bends over backwards to help out his friends." He gulped a little then tried to find her eyes again. "Did you, by chance, happen to read The Mysterious Lives of Integers?"

"No," said Michelle. "You know, Jo's a lucky girl to have a guy like him. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Sure?"

Logan wanted this to work, but it wasn't going to if all she wanted to talk about was Kendall. Swiftly, he tried to change the subject again. "The Mysterious Lives of Integers. It's a great book. I highly recommend the chapter on 8's relationship with 7-"

"Jo's always telling me about the romantic things Kendall does for her," Michelle said. "It makes me so jealous."

"Um...well...yeah, he's very into the mushy stuff," Logan stuttered. And Jo was never fucking appreciative of it - tonight, for instance - he wanted to add, but he tried to keep his composure. "You know," he said while trying to put on his most seductive face, "the right guy might come along for you."

"He's so cute, too," Michelle noted, "with those eyebrows and that nose! And that smile, with those dimples!"

What the fuck, Logan thought. What the fuck. This has to stop.

"Hey, you know, can we...not talk about Kendall?" he asked with a forced calmness. "He's my best friend and all, but I'd rather talk about you...and me...and maybe piecewise functions."

Michelle finally stopped gabbing and smiled at him. "I'm sorry," she said.

Logan took a sip from his drink. "It's okay. It's just...you seem to be a nice girl, and I think we may have a lot in common, so I'd like to get to know you better." He was surprised at how smoothly that came out, but it was a pleasant surprise. Maybe now they could make some headway in learning more about each other.

Michelle took his request well. "I'm sorry," she repeated, her eyes glowing at Logan. "I have to run to the bathroom, but when I come back, I promise, no more talk about Kendall or anyone else."

He returned her radiant smile as she walked away to the bathroom. As soon as she was gone, though, he downed the rest of his drink and told the waiter to bring another, pronto. He sighed a little, and he rubbed his temples. Logan hated the way his fragile emotions worked. All of those kids from elementary school had been right - Hortense was a loser, gross, a dork, all of the above. This loser was sitting here with a pretty girl, but he was too busy worrying himself sick over some guy.

Some guy. Ha. Kendall was more than just "some guy" to him, and he knew it. He'd been stupid to think that just one random night with some girl would ever stop him from caring so much about Kendall.

But he knew he had to try. This had to work. His angry feelings from before his nap started to return. Here he was, trying to make things better for himself, yet Kendall was still hanging over his shoulder, making things miserable. The guy was at home, probably in bed, texting his girlfriend - because it was "Jo's turn" to have his attention tonight - yet he still had a hold on Logan. So Michelle asked a few questions. She was nervous! All she wanted was to know more about Logan's friendship with Kendall. Logan felt bad about snapping at her the way he did. He knew he'd ruin the whole thing himself if he kept letting Kendall get to him that way. But it was hard...so hard. Somehow, Michelle's admiration of Kendall's physical attributes had done him in. His feelings for Kendall were so deep and mature, so multi-faceted, but, like any young person with burgeoning sexual interests, Logan couldn't keep his mind off the more physical aspects of attraction. The mere thought of Kendall's smile and Kendall's eyes and Kendall's arms and Kendall's chest and Kendall's body would never leave him alone.

Michelle had called him cute. Cute. Heh. He was cute, all right. Kendall Knight was cute with his clothes on. But with his clothes off...Kendall Knight was a man. And Logan knew it.

It was Kendall's eighteenth birthday, and the Big Time Rush guys had partied hard the whole night long. Mrs. Knight had given in and let them all have the apartment to themselves, but, as she and Katie spent the night in an unoccupied Palm Woods suite, she couldn't help but wonder what a bunch of juiced up teens would be doing to her lovely home.

She had nothing to worry about, really. As the party came to a close, most breakables remained intact. All of the food was gone - including the food that was specifically marked as "NOT PARTY FOOD" - but it'd be easy to replace it all. No one had complained about the loud music because most of the Palm Woods residents were there at the party, getting down and having a good time.

Jo, of course, was out of town. She'd been booked to appear on a telethon in the Ozarks. Something about saving some kind of endangered hog or something. She was gone, though, and as the last guests were leaving, Kendall was feeling her absence.

"Maybe you can call her," suggested Carlos. "I'm sure they have phone reception in Possom Paradise, Missouri."

"It's not the same," Kendall whined. He was laid out on the sofa, almost planking, in misery. "I miss Jo. I miss her face and her hair and her laugh and the way she calls me her Ken Doll."

Logan pulled some streamers down from the wall, secretly damning Jo to hell. This was why he wanted Kendall to leave her. This was exactly why. She was never around when he needed her, and when she was around, she was always accusing him of cheating. Maybe Kendall should have just cheated on her. Of course, Logan would have liked to be the "other woman," but if he'd seen Kendall making out with a Jennifer at the party, he wouldn't have stopped him.

"Why don't you just take a bath and go to sleep?" said James. "You had a fantastic party, your best friends are going to clean up everything before your mom gets home, and you can dream all you want to about Jo."

Kendall just groaned in response. Logan looked over at him. If he could just rub Kendall's back, whisper in his ear, give him a little kiss on the cheek...Jo would be a complete afterthought.

"They're right," he said softly to Kendall, leaning on the arm of the couch. "Go get some sleep. You know we're starting a new dance routine tomorrow, and I have a feeling Gustavo's gonna work us, party or no party."

Kendall groaned again, but he got up and did as he was told. Logan looked on helplessly.

"We should talk to Gustavo," James said. "It's not right that he should have to be in the studio when he's so depressed."

Carlos nodded. "It's not right that he has to be so depressed on his birthday."

Logan sighed. "It's not right that it's his girlfriend making him so depressed."

After twenty minutes, the guys were finished with their clean-up, and Logan went in to check on Kendall. He pushed open the door and saw something he hadn't gotten a real good look at since he was thirteen years old.

"Oh my God, Kendall!" he exclaimed, covering his eyes with his arm.

Kendall stood before him, completely naked, and didn't rush to get dressed or go back into the bathroom. All he wore was a nice, big smile.

"Birthday suit," he slurred, so very proud of himself for being so clever.

Logan was speechless, but his mouth hung open.

"Please, it's not like you haven't seen any of this before," Kendall said as he went to the closet for some night clothes.

"I haven't!" Logan shrilled. Sensing Kendall's movement, he slowly lowered his arm, taking in the sight of Kendall's bare back, muscular legs, and smooth bottom.

"You saw it that time we went skinny dipping in my grandparents' pond."

"We were thirteen! And it wasn't...you didn't have..."

"What? What didn't I have then, Logan," asked Kendall as he faced Logan again, this time cupping a hand over his junk. "You were looking at my cock, weren't you?" he asked in a low voice. He didn't want Carlos and James to hear. He didn't want them to walk in.

Logan's arm shot back up over his eyes. "You're...standing there...and it's just...there, and it's hard to miss, and..." His eyes were closed, but he could feel Kendall moving closer, closer, closer... "Kendall," he said shakily, using every ounce of strength he had in himself to keep those eyelids down. If he opened them and looked...he wouldn't have been able to control himself.

Kendall took advantage of Logan's temporary blindness. He stood no more than two feet away from the shorter boy. He was still, he was quiet, and there was a slight tremble reverberating through his naked body. He stared hard at Logan's face, which was half-obscured by the arm. Then he moved his eyes to the small but growing center of Logan's pants. And then his eyes moved to his own bare member as it fought against his psyche to reach its full potential. Kendall knew that with one gentle action he could have knocked Jo Taylor and her absenteeism out of his life for good. One action...one movement...one thing.

But he wasn't brave enough to face those consequences.

Logan could feel Kendall's breath hitting him, he could feel Kendall's presence so close to him, but he couldn't move...he couldn't make a sound. He felt paralyzed, and he didn't know why. This was his chance...it had to be his chance. But he was too afraid...just too afraid. By the time he had enough courage to see again, Kendall was dressed, and whatever could have happened or would have happened quickly faded away from him to a land occupied by lost opportunities. Never to be spoken of. Never to be brought up. Never to be mentioned.

Never to be forgotten.

By either of them.

He came back to the present. He knew not of the secret storm Kendall had endured in that memory; his own was enough.

What a miserable life. What a waste. What a tragedy.

These were the only thoughts that filled his head. They floated around and wrapped around images of Kendall's body...joining together with images of Jo's taunting face.

Hortense Mitchell. That dork. That loser. That gross little twerp. On a date with a knockout. A real knockout. And all he and his little pecker could think of was Kendall Knight.

Meanwhile, in the last stall of the women's restroom, a phone conversation was taking place.

"I promise you, I said all of the things you told me to say! Well...not all of it."

"What do you mean, not all of it?"

"It was awkward to just jump into a conversation about Kendall out of nowhere! He was starting to get pissed off, too, so I didn't want to keep harping on it."

"Oh my God, Michelle, I paid you fifty dollars to-"

"Look, if you want to find out anything, you'll have to do it yourself. It's too awkward and weird."

"Well...what did he say?"

"He didn't say anything! He just said that Kendall's a great guy, that you're lucky to have him, they've been friends for years, blah blah blah. To be honest, I really think you're just being paranoid. He was very eager to stop talking about Kendall and start talking about us. And, to be even more honest, I really don't want to talk about me and him because he's kind of dorky. He started talking about aliens and the 40s and-"

"Yeah, well, that's Logan."

"I really don't think he wants your boyfriend. They're just good friends."

Silence.

"Well...did he seem nervous? Like, was he on edge or anything?"

"Yes, yes he was. That doesn't mean he has feelings for Kendall."

"Trust me, Michelle, I want to believe that, but I can't. There's just something inside me telling me that there's something going on. I've had this little feeling in the back of my mind ever since I met him, and it's just been little things building up over time. And this morning at the beach? Kendall wouldn't even look at me when I asked him about Logan."

"Well? What are you gonna do?"

"I'm going to find out for myself, just like you said."

"And how do you expect to do that?"

"I'm going to ask him! I'm just...gonna go right up to him and ask him. Plain and simple."

"Good luck with that. I guess I'll just go back and listen to him talk about himself now. Very exciting stuff, I'm sure. I just hope he doesn't ask me anything about math, because I'm sure he thinks I'm a genius. There's a small window in here, and I know I can fit through it..."

"Oh, come on, Michelle, he's not that bad! He's actually a very nice guy."

"Then why did you send me to be your spy in the first place?"

That was a question Jo couldn't answer. She tried, and she almost said something, but when she realized she didn't know what to say at all, she just sighed.

"You know what? Just do whatever you want. I'll take care of it myself," she said.

"I hope you know what you're doing, then."

"So do I."

NOTE: Oh...so what was that? Was that...a TWIST? I told you in Chapter 4 that Jo's a smart girl, didn't I? There's more where that came from, too, so keep reading!