Chapter 104

AJ had watched Sarah throw herself into Harm's arms. It hadn't taken her long to go to him after they'd made love. He had warned himself for weeks now to be careful. She had always insisted that Harm was only a friend. From the way Harm had acted, that indicated much more than a friend. Now this. Had she regained her memory and now knew she had loved Harm all along?

Slumping down in his chair, he laid his head on his arms defeated. There was nothing left for him. His life would be empty again. Sarah would go to Harm, taking Angel with her. 'How could she make love so sweetly to me and then leave with him? She had to have regained her memory and knew of all the lies,' he thought.

He didn't hear the knock on the door and Jen wasn't at her desk. Harriett, knowing the Admiral was in his office, opened the door to find the Admiral with his head on his folded arms.

"Sir, what's happened?" she asked, sure something had happened to Sarah or baby Angela.

Lifting his head and seeing Harriett, he said sadly, "Nothing's wrong, Harriett. At least nothing that you or I can fix." he tried to smile, but none would come.

"I could try, Sir. Sometimes it helps just to have someone to talk to," said Harriett, sitting down,
forgetting protocol, wanting so badly to ease his pain.

"Always the optimist. You care too much about people, Harriett. One day it'll end up hurting you," he replied sadly.

"Loving and caring about someone can't hurt you, Admiral," she answered. "It can only enrich your life and make you happier."

"Not always, Harriett. Sometimes it can rip your heart out, and stomp it into the dust!" he spat out bitterly. "Perhaps it's better to lock your heart away and protect it from such agony."

"Sir, if I'm out of line, correct me. But are you talking about you and Sarah? Did the two of you have
an argument?" she ventured.

"No, Harriett. We didn't have an argument, or a fight, not even a cross word," he said shaking his head.

"Then why, Sir? Why are you so heartbroken?" asked Harriett confused. "If not Sarah or Angela, has something happened to Francesca?"

Standing and pacing to the window where the stood with his back to her and hands folded behind him. "She's in love with Harm, Harriett," he said simply. "Sarah's in love with Harm."

"Admiral, that's not possible. I've seen the way she looks at you. I've noticed it for years," stressed
Harriett. "You both have loved one another for years. Harm is only her friend."

"No, Harriett. I had hoped that was true, and if not she would fall in love with me. Things were so wonderful until a little while ago," he sighed, turning back to her. "I think she got her memory back or realized she loved Harm. I saw her run into his arms in the parking lot. I watched as they stood and held one another and talked. I finally had to turn away. When I looked back they both were gone."

"Admiral, there has to be a logical explanation. Just talk to Mac and give her a chance to explain. Please!" she begged.

"I can't, Harriett. I'm afraid if I do, then I'll lose her and Angela," he choked out. "If I stay quiet, and
pretend it didn't happen, maybe she'll realize it was a mistake. Maybe she'll stay with me. I love her,
Harriett. I could forgive her a moment of weakness. I guess that shows me that I love her more than I ever loved Meredith. I found her in bed with another man and walked out. But I need Sarah and Angel in my life. I can't confront her with this and lose her for good."

"I think you're wrong, Sir. I'm sure she loves you and what you saw can be explained. But I will honor your wishes," said Harriett sadly.

"Thank you, Harriett; you've always been a good friend. You and Bud are more like family than you'll ever know," he said clearing his throat. "Did you need something?"

"Nothing that can't wait, Sir. And if you ever need to talk again, well, you know where to find me," she
smiled, going out the door and closing it behind her.

To be continued….