Ok everyone BTR is not mine. This chapter is depressing. I will not tell you why, it is for me to know and you to read and find out.

"Good morning, Carlos," I said when I got out of my dad's truck. "It doesn't look like it's going to rain today."

"That's a good thing. I wouldn't want to have to pull you into the pool for a second day in the row. I also want to ride that bull again. It's loads of fun," he said.

"I still can't believe you ride it and not a stunt double."

"It was supposed to be, but I begged them to let me ride. I gotta go practice riding. I'll see you later."

"Have fun and please be careful." I was starting to sound like his mother.

I walked to the trailer and undid the latches, to back out my horse. He finally got his shot to be on the small screen. But what I was more worried about today was proposing my idea to my dad. I just hope he went along with Arianna being a regular teen who sings in her spare time. I wanted her to be real; like fail her driver's license test, get dumped, the whole nine yards. Maybe should could get discovered but mostly I wanted her to be a normal teenage girl.

I felt arms wrapping around my waist. Then a voice said "Today's going to be the most amazing day ever. Do you want to know why?"

The voice wouldn't let me turn around. I replied "Why is it going to be the most amazing day ever?"

The person turned me around and said "Because I get to spend it with you." James then kissed me ignoring the people around us getting out of their vehicles. It was like he and I were the only two people in the parking lot. "That's why it's going to be amazing."

"Oh, well that's a perfectly good reason for it to be amazing. You see because I thought it was because of the weather. Being with me works too." I kissed him on the cheek and ran toward the studio.

"Thought you would get away didn't you," James said picking me up off the ground.

"I wasn't trying to get away from you. I just really want to get today started and you would have talked to me for hours," I looked at him. "You're not going to let go are you?"

"Nope," he said and carried me to my dressing room. "Now I'll let you go." James wouldn't put me down until he got one more kiss.

"I can't stand you," I told him once I was back on the ground.

"That's ok I can't stand you either," he smiled and walked away.

I walked into the dressing room and turned on the radio. Music quickly filled the small room. I starting singing along and dancing around the room. I was really enjoying myself until the door opened.

"Good morning Miss Walker," Staci said.

"Staci, you're back early," I said hugging my friend.

"Well I start classes tomorrow so I needed to get back ASAP to get prepared. I did tell you I'm starting at UCLA didn't I?"

"No I don't think you did tell me. But the both of us have been so busy," I replied turning down the radio.

"I'm sorry about the whole Kendall thing. Guys are incredibly stupid. Logan told me."

"So I take it the whole world knows," I sighed. Just what I wanted everyone to know my problems.

"He wasn't your type anyway, Ari. You're way better off with James. The two of you look so cute together. Like your skinny jeans and Uggs."

"Stace do me a favor. Don't make analogies ever again. But I thought I could have loved Kendall. I really did. But I guess I'm a huge moron who doesn't understand anything. You know I really should head over to hair and make-up."

I hated rambling but that's exactly what I was doing. I walked out of the door and down the hallway. Why did she bring up Kendall? I was doing so well pretending I never had feelings for him. Of course you can't always forget certain things. The thing I couldn't forget the most was the day my mom was diagnosed with cancer. It was why she wouldn't come out to California with my dad and me. That entire day I cried until I made myself sick. The thought of my mother dying was heartbreaking, but my mom told me to stay strong.

While getting my hair fixed I began reading over the script for next week. The first thing I noticed was that Natalie is now a permanent character until further notice and that she's a normal teen. I guess that's what James and I were going to like. I admit I was really bummed about not being able to have my own show as soon as I thought.

"Sorry about the show sweetie. You see mom's not doing too well and I don't want you to start this show and then something terrible will happen. I'm flying you back to Pennsylvania tomorrow to see her," my dad said.

"You mean she's going to die soon?" I asked tears welling up in my eyes.

"I'm so sorry Arianna I was going to tell you sooner but you seemed so happy and you know how your mother hates bringing you down," my dad said hugging me. "You can head home if you want."

"No if mom were here she'd say finish the filming and that's what I'm going to do. Dad I really want to stay and finish, not just for me but for mom."

"It's up to you. I'm so sorry Arianna, we'll see her tomorrow. I'm going to be at the house getting things ready. Call me if you need anything."

I walked through filming like a zombie. My mom was going to die soon and there was nothing I could do to prevent it from happening. Things just starting getting good and now they were turning bad. It started to rain as I walked through the parking lot with Staci.

"You didn't tell James did you?" she asked.

I shook my head no and handed her the car keys. I was in no condition to drive back to the house.

I stared out the window blankly during my plane ride back to Pennsylvania. I knew my mother was dying, and I knew I may not make it back in time to see her alive. Mothers weren't supposed to die before their daughters said goodbye. It was some sort of unwritten rule.

The plane ride was over, and I followed my dad to a car to take us to the hospital. It was such a depressing atmosphere. As soon as I walked in I started crying. I could sense something was wrong. I rushed up to my mother's room and grabbed her hand.

"Mommy I met this great guy. You'd really like him. His name is James," I said trying to catch her up on my life.

I didn't get an answer but kept talking. "I really miss you mom. I should have never moved out to California. I should have stayed here with you. I love you mom." Just then the machines starting beeping like crazy and I couldn't control my tears. Doctors were rushing in the room and asked me to leave. The only problem was I couldn't feel my legs anymore. Everything went blank and I hit the floor hard.

I woke up in my own hospital bed with a nurse telling me I had passed out. "I need to see my mother," I shouted getting out of the bed.

"Your dad will be here soon to take you to the funeral," my aunt said patting my shoulder. It was Saturday two days after my mother had died. I was a mess and couldn't stop sobbing.

I cried throughout the whole service. I still couldn't believe my mom had died. I planned my final words to my mom since I woke up after passing out. I stood in front of the crowd that gathered at the cemetery and said. "I loved you mom. And I will never stop loving you. I'll miss you mom. Someday I'll join you, but for now goodbye."

That night I got a phone call from James.

"I'm really sorry about your mom. Arianna I really wanted to say this in person…" He said.

"James if you want to break up with me I'm completely fine with that," I cut him off not letting him finish.

"Arianna I love you," James said. "I just really wanted to be with you when I said that. I know you're going through a hard time and I'm telling you this at such a stupid time. But Arianna I really love you. I've loved you since I saw you on TV when I was 15."

"James, I think I might love you too. I'll see you Monday."

"Yeah Monday."

I know this one was really sad. But I've had it planned since I started writing. The title comes from Arianna saying "I loved you mom." The title will definitely come up again. Please review if you read, good or bad I really want to know what you think.