AUTHOR'S NOTE: Glad yall are still reading and enjoying it! Thanks for dealing with all of the complications with the last two chapters. This one is much, much shorter. It was going to be longer, but it was going to mean a longer wait for posting it, so I figured you guys wouldn't mind a shorter chapter in exchange for getting it early. The plus side is that the next one is nearly finished and will definitely be up on Saturday at the latest. No Kogan flashbacks in this one, but two in the next one :)

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Kendall was inexplicably absent at dinner, and Logan could only imagine where he was and what he was doing...and what little secrets he was finding out. He just kept getting the sickening feeling that at any moment, Kendall was going to burst through the door and head straight for his throat, screaming and yelling and telling everyone else what a freak he was.

After getting his fill of "lymph nodes and stuff," Logan had planned to just hopelessly fall asleep and try to erase all memories of the day from his mind, but knowing he'd be working all the next day, he knew he had to get at least some nourishment in his system.

"Kendall called," said Mrs. Knight as they all sat down to eat. "Said he and Jo are having dinner together at El Chaparral. Ooh la la."

HOLY SHIT! WHAT ABOUT JO, James thought as he snapped his head to Mrs. Knight.

"El Chaparral?" Katie questioned. "That's not fair! They get the good stuff, and we have to eat...this!"

Truth be told, Mrs. Knight wasn't the best cook, and the less work she had to do to get something on the table, the better. Tonight's menu consisted of a green salad (from a bag) and grilled chicken (frozen). God bless the microwave.

"Shush," said mother to daughter. "Eat your dinner."

James was picking at his chicken just as unenthusiastically as he was in the continuous process of getting more and more bogged down by all of the little realizations that had been going on in his head all day. He couldn't even look at Logan, who sat on a stool at the far end of the counter.

Okay, so James was totally cool with the prospect of two of his closest friends - two of his brothers - being gay and together, but...he hadn't even thought about Jo! She and Kendall were barely getting time to do "couple things" anymore, so naturally, when James had been thinking about Logan and Kendall, his mind hadn't even considered Jo's place in the whole thing. Did she know? Of course, she couldn't know! But what if she did know, and she was just helping Kendall out by acting as a cover? If that was true, then maybe it would have been best for James to just keep his mouth shut and pretend he didn't know anything.

But hell...if she didn't know, then that meant Kendall and Logan's innocent little...whatever it was they had going on...wasn't exactly innocent.

Crap, he thought. And now I'm an accomplice.

He looked over at Carlos and knew he had to let him in on this discovery, too. If only so that he didn't have to be all alone in his confusion.

Meanwhile, Logan's nerves were ramped up even more with the knowledge of Kendall and Jo's dinner date. Well hell...she was definitely telling him. But really, would she tell him over dinner? That seemed like a surefire way to tank a date. But then he remembered the look on Jo's face...that devastated look, that grief-stricken look, that...broken look. The vengeful way she'd told him that he couldn't have Kendall...she was going to get him back. She was going to make him pay for daring to love her boyfriend.

She's telling him, he thought. She's telling him, and so it begins.

He thought about his little plan to "get over Kendall" and how they all had backfired. Well, really, he thought about how he'd never actually done anything to "get over Kendall." He felt as if it had been all talk on his part. He kept telling himself he'd get over Kendall, but what was he actually doing to achieve that goal? He'd gone on a date that didn't turn out well. He told Jo, and that didn't turn out the way he'd hoped it would either. He was sitting here agonizing over Kendall, Kendall, Kendall. What Kendall thought, what Kendall wanted, what Kendall was going to do...

He felt like a failure and a loser, like he couldn't do anything right.

It's only been a day, he told himself as he slowly chewed on some wilted lettuce. It's only been a day since your last session, and it's only been a day since you've really made up your mind to try to fix this yourself. Give it some time.

Only a day...but damn, so much had already happened. And now it seemed like all of his empty promises to himself were useless because somewhere in El Chaparral, Jo was telling Kendall everything she knew.

"Well, I do believe that it were a splendid idea to dine here this eve," Kendall declared in a silly faux Medieval accent after he and Jo ordered.

"Oh?"

"Yes," Kendall affirmed. "A breaking of bread with m'lady, who happens to be the fairest of all in this fine establishment."

Jo blushed. "Kendall, stop it..."

"Stop what?" he asked in his normal voice. "Stop telling you the truth? Well, I guess I could lie and say that...well, that old lady over there is pretty freakin' banging," he whispered, motioning to a crotchety old spinster having dinner with her grumpy old husband. "I mean, I'm sure I'd break her hip or something if I tried to have my way with her, but it'd be worth it. Her old man probably hasn't boned her since the 70s. It's like she's a virgin all over again."

"Kendall, that's gross!" Jo scolded in surprise.

"Well then, I guess I have no choice but to declare you the most beautiful woman in this room."

"I guess."

He shot her the sexiest smile anyone could ever hope to see. This was just too perfect for him not to smile. They were here, they were together, and the night was going perfectly. It had been a long time since they'd really gotten a chance to be with one another, alone, with their corny jokes and giggles, but the reasons why didn't matter...all of the other stuff that could get in the way didn't matter. He had his Jo with him, and she was smiling, and it made him feel good.

"You really do look amazing," he said in a low, intense tone, sexy smile never leaving his face.

"Kendall, I heard you the first forty times," she replied, feeling slightly embarrassed, but she was definitely not above getting compliments on demand.

"Well, I'm just trying to let you know," he insisted as he finally snapped out of his fixation.

"You know," he said as he sipped on his drink, "I have to admit, I sorta had a feeling something was going on when I saw Logan coming out of your place this afternoon."

Jo almost choked. "What?"

Kendall laughed. "Yeah, you thought I wouldn't find out, huh?"

She was totally aghast. "How did you...how...?"

"Oh, come on, Jo! It wasn't that hard to figure out! I watched tons of Murder, She Wrote with my grandma when I was a kid. I know how to solve a mystery! My clothes just magically appear in your closet, and Logan just happens to be leaving your place a few hours before. The two of you planned this, didn't you? You called him, and he brought you this outfit for me to wear tonight."

Jo calmed down and quickly - VERY quickly - followed Kendall's lead. "Yeah, that's exactly what happened." Whew.

"Well, I'm glad the two of you put this together," said Kendall. "It makes a guy feel special when his best friend and his girlfriend decide to cook up a little scheme just for him."

"Heh," Jo let out, still coming down from her initial shock and awe. "Anything for you, bae."

The waiter brought them their entrees, and they began to eat.

Jo couldn't believe her luck. She really couldn't believe it. Rarely did things just fall into her hands like that, but she knew how to hold on to them and run, run, run. She didn't even want to think about what Kendall would have asked her had he not come up with his own explanation for why Logan had visited her. The night was going too well to let that damn Logan ruin it now. She was feeling good about everything, and she felt like she could really make it work this time. Of course, this wasn't the first time she'd made a vow to herself to start being more appreciative of the boy who'd changed her life and made her like herself. She'd made that promise before, and she'd followed through for various lengths of time, but in the end, other things would always get in the way.

As her television star was on the rise, Jo had found herself seamlessly fitting in with the young Hollywood "in" crowd, and she relished the lifestyle. The money, the parties, the drinking, the occasional drugs (because no one stayed "on" that much without a little help), etc. All of the things that Kendall really didn't want any part of. She'd even slept with a few guys behind his back, too, guys who were hotter and much more "exciting." But they didn't mean anything...none of it meant anything. When she was feeling blue...when she was feeling unloved...when the veneer of "living" would start to crack, it was Kendall who mattered the most. And this time...this time, she was going to keep him in her heart forever. The thought of losing him had awakened up something in her, and it felt like her life was on the line.

Kendall wasn't without his faults, though, and he knew it. He could be very selective about when he felt like "dealing with Jo and her drama." Sometimes, when she needed him the most, he wasn't there. When the stench of booze on her breath was too strong...and when he could smell the pot in her hair... and when he could see the bags under her eyes...when the various airheaded hearttrobs snickered behind his back as he passed by. In those moments, she was worthless to him, and though he was too valiant to ever tell her that, he definitely wanted her to know it...and he definitely wanted her to feel it in her soul. And he definitely wanted to give up on her and do what his heart was telling him to do.

But that wasn't what a boyfriend was supposed to do. That wasn't what a happy and normal young man was supposed to do. A happy, normal guy wasn't supposed to have his own feelings and emotions and all of that. A happy, normal, young man was supposed to take care of his girl and protect her from all harm. Sure, Jo could make it hard, but she was his, and he knew she needed him just as much he needed her. And Kendall knew that if he ever left her hanging for too long...if he ever made her feel as if she was worth absolutely nothing at all...he knew he'd never forgive himself for the dangerous things she'd do.

"How have things been?" he asked in a very serious, but tentative, tone. It was his way of asking her if she'd been cutting...if she'd been wanting to cut...if she'd even looked twice at a knife or sharp edge.

Jo knew the signal all too well. She suddenly felt an itching on her wrist, as if the wound would burst open and her blood would spew all over the floor.

"Good," she answered quietly.

He nodded. "I'm glad to hear that. It's been a long time since I've asked, but I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

"I am. I swear."

She wished she could tell him about Logan, just so he could tell her that she had nothing to worry about...just so he could tell her that the thought of being with another guy disgusted him and that she was the only one he ever wanted to love, ever. She needed that reassurance, but she knew it'd be too dangerous to bring it up. She knew Kendall too well, and she knew he wouldn't be the big macho man who had an urge to murder the little gay boy who had a crush on him. Oh, she wished he would be like that - those random guys she'd sleep with at parties, though...they were like that - but she knew he was sensitive and understanding and forgiving. If he weren't those things, he would have stopped giving her second chances a long time ago.

But that wasn't the only thing bothering her. Jo was never without problems...that little voice would come and go, but the things it told her would always linger. She thought back to what it had told her in her moment of weakness...where would she end up? What would she do with herself? She was a star on a little high school show, but what were the odds of her having real success in her adult life? She looked over at Kendall. He was the one who calmed her, always.

"I've been thinking a lot about the show," she suddenly said.

"What about the show?"

"I don't know...just thinking. The ratings weren't very good at the end of last season...there's almost no buzz at all for next season. I wouldn't be surprised if we don't get picked up for next year."

"Oh, come on, Jo, that's still a long time from now, though," he said soothingly. "You have a whole season to work your magic and turn things around."

"Yeah, I guess," she agreed reluctantly.

"Does it really bother you that much?"

It did bother her! Her little voice had told her that she wouldn't be anyone or do anything with her life. Had that little voice been right?

"No, not really," she finally answered. This was supposed to be a good night. No complaining, no worrying. Just them.

And then, as if he was reading her mind, Kendall reached across the table and took her hand. "You know you don't have anything to worry about. You're beautiful, and you're a great actress, and one day, you're gonna be the most famous movie star in the whole world."

It was like a trap. The soulful green eyes, the half-smile, the compassion in his voice. There was no beating that.

"You really think so?" she asked.

"I know so. You're gonna have a great life, Gretch-" He caught himself and smiled. "Jo. You're gonna have a great life, Jo. And I'm gonna be there with you every step of the way. I promise."

She nodded and took her hand back. She knew she couldn't mess up anymore...not anymore. Her sanity depended on it. Two things had to happen for Jo Taylor to have a great life. First, she had to give Kendall absolutely no reason whatsoever to leave her. The drinking would have to stop...the partying would have to stop...the drugs, the sleeping around...it would all have to stop. She had to show this boy that she loved him.

And the other thing that had to happen?

She had to get Logan away from him. She didn't hate Logan...she didn't want to hurt him, but she couldn't bring herself to trust him. He was nice and sweet, but she knew what it meant to love Kendall Knight. She knew what it meant to need Kendall Knight. She knew what it was like to let Kendall Knight be the sun, the clouds, the moon, and every single star in the sky. She knew the lengths she'd go to in order to keep him, and she was afraid of the lengths Logan would go to in order to get him.

Jo remembered what he'd said, though. He knew he couldn't have Kendall. He knew he had no chance. He didn't even want Kendall to know.

But it kept coming back to trust. She just did not trust him. Try as she might, she couldn't stop thinking of what Logan could do or would do to take from her what was hers. There was something else under the surface, though, something that she knew was there but wasn't strong enough to confront. The simple fact that she was scared of Logan and what he could do had to mean something...

It meant she couldn't trust Kendall, either.

NOTE: Thanks again for reading and reviewing :)