Sadly BTR is not mine. If you haven't read the past chapters or need to be caught up, Arianna is guest staring on BTR her dad is a writer with Nickelodeon, she had a huge crush on Kendall but realized he was a jerk and is dating James. Her friend Staci is with Logan. Arianna and James bonded over her horse and then Arianna's mother died lending me my title "I Loved You." The phrase comes up often so it tends to fit.

I arrived on set Monday after the funeral. Everyone was looking at me funny and were afraid to talk to me. It was as if I had a deadly disease or something. I just wanted to scream that nothing was wrong with me. That would have made everything worse. Did they expect me to be depressed or something? The first thing my mother told me when she was diagnosed was not to cry for ages over it. She told me she would rather me live my life and not cry over her dying. And that's what I was doing, living my life.

"I'm sorry about your mom," Carlos said giving me a hug. "We really missed you."

"I missed you too," I told him before he walked away.

At least someone acknowledged me being on set.

"Good morning gorgeous," James whispered in my ear. I never let people sneak up on me, but he was silent.

"I was thinking about you yesterday. It was snowing back home and it just made me wish you were there with me to see it," I sighed thinking about the weather back home. There was nothing I missed more than snowflakes falling from the sky and kids sledding down the street before the plows made their runs.

"I'm sure it was beautiful, but nowhere near as beautiful as what I'm looking at now," he said kissing my forehead.

"You're so cheesy James. Way worse than some romance movie," I joked. "I'm sorry about our date. This weekend we'll go riding."

"You couldn't have prevented it. But this weekend we'll do something special. You do know I wasn't lying when I said I loved you."

"I know you weren't. I wasn't lying either. I like you better than the other guys I dated. They were jerks compared to you. Gosh now you have me being all cheesy. But really, I've never met a guy like you before."

"I'm glad." He grabbed my hand and led me down the hallway to the mock studio to rehearse our first scene.

"The two of you look like little five year olds walking to the park to play on the swings," Kendall said jokingly. We did look like children so he was right.

"Kendall just shut up, please," James sighed.

"What's your problem?" Kendall asked.

"Can you stop being a bunch of jerks!?" I shouted. "Is it absolutely necessary to argue? No it's not. Let's just try to get through rehearsal please. I'm not in the mood to deal with your bull today."

"Way to piss her off," James said. He then turned to me and mouthed the words "I'm sorry."

"Sorry Arianna," Carlos said. The other boys followed.

What was with me today? Every little thing was setting me off. It was like I was a bomb just waiting to explode. I didn't want to snap on the boys I sounded like their mother or something. That was so not me. I must have looked really confused or something because they guys looked at me like I had three heads.

"What?" I asked.

"I think you should sit down," Logan said sitting me on a chair. "You don't look too good."

He was right. I felt like I was going to pass out again. I was handed a bottle of water to drink before anyone let me stand up.

"When was the last time you ate or drank anything, Arianna?" my dad asked me when he walked into the room.

"Right before mom passed away. I guess I'm letting it get to me. I'm sorry dad. I'll eat something at lunch. I promise. James will make sure of it, and I'm almost positive Logan will too."

"I'll tie her down if I have to Mr. Walker," Staci said when she walked into the room and gave me a hug.

"She will dad. She would force feed me."

"I know Staci would. You two are like sisters." My dad said before leaving us to finish rehearsal.

Once we finished rehearsal for the morning Staci and I met the guys outside in the parking lot for a little picnic. Staci grabbed a blanket out of my car and set it on the ground for us to sit. It wasn't our best lunch idea but it was nice to get outside for a few minutes. I brought the radio out from my dressing room to liven up our lunch. Adam Lambert's "Whataya Want From Me" was silently playing in the background and Staci started singing along. Before I knew it we were all singing with her dancing around.

"You're such a looser," Logan said to Staci pulling her into a hug.

"No I'm not. You're the looser," she kissed him on the cheek and it was one of the cutest things I've ever seen.

"Whatcha looking at," James asked me.

"That cloud up there. It looks like a bunny rabbit."

"Nah I think it looks like an airplane," he said looking up into the sky. "I could stay here all day with you, the guys, and Staci its pretty fun."

"No it's super fun," Carlos said running around the parking lot with Kendall chasing seagulls.

"Do you really think you're going to catch one," I shouted over to them.

"No but if we do you're taking it home," Kendall shouted back.

"Oh thanks, just what I want a seagull."

"Hey I live there too and we do not need a seagull," Stacie yelled and ran after Kendall and Carlos.

"Guys I think we should head back inside now," Logan shouted loud enough for the people inside to hear.

We walked inside and most of the people were looking at us. I guess Logan's yell brought more attention to us than we thought. I was ok with that being with them took my mind off of everything. The studio made me realize I can't always forget everything and that sometimes reality isn't far behind. But If I keep looking forward I can't see what's behind me.

I looked at everyone once the day was over. They looked exhausted. I'm sure I looked the same. But Kendall looked like if he had a pillow and a blanket he would be out cold on the floor and we wouldn't see him until the morning.

"You look tired," I teased.

"Not as tired as Logan he can't even move," Kendall replied.

"Hey where do you think you're going," James said when he caught up with us.

"Well I'm going home but I'm not sure about Arianna," Kendall answered before he walked away.

"I'm going for smoothies with my dad. I'd invite you along but we're just picking them up and going home. Why?" I looked at him.

"Because I hate when you run off like that all the time. You're not one for goodbyes are you?"

"Sadly I'm not James. I hate goodbyes almost as much as I hate liars. Even though I know I'll see you tomorrow, I still don't want to say goodbye."

"What about an I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I guess that works. But I don't want to say goodbye to you James, or I'll see you tomorrow. I just don't want to lose someone who's close to me. At least not for a really really long time."

"And you won't, well me at least. I can't promise that. But I will try my hardest to be here tomorrow just to see you. Jeez Arianna, I love you to death."

"So you don't think I love you either. James the whole time I was back home I wished you were there with me. My family was no help for making it all better and you could have been great help," I said wiping away the tears that were forming.

"Arianna don't you dare start crying on me," he said lifting me up to kiss me. "I don't want to see you cry."

"I'm sorry. I hate crying. It's just a lot has been going on. I can't help it. You know I should really get going my dad and Staci are waiting. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yes bright and early tomorrow. I love you."

"Love you too James."

Please review. Good, bad, or even if you have a few ideas you want to throw my way. It will definitely help. Thank you so much for reading.