"Not now, Liara," Kaidan grumbled while pulling the blanket over his head and rolling onto his stomach.
"Yes, now Kaidan," Liara said harshly as she rose from the bed, grasped the blanket at Kaidan's feet and yanked hard. She dumped the blanket and sheet at the foot of the bed and slapped the sole of Kaidan's foot with the back of her hand.
He was naked, but he didn't care. If Liara didn't like it, she knew where the door was. His whole body ached inside and out. The throbbing in his hip said there would be a deep and livid bruise.
"Kaidan, you can't lie here all day," Liara said with more empathy in her voice. "Get up and get dressed so that we may talk."
Kaidan turned on her and bellowed out his rage and anguish.
"Get out now, Liara, before I throw you out!"
"Absolutely not!" she shouted back at him. Liara rarely raised her voice above her typical calm, quiet tone, and Kaidan was taken aback.
"Kaidan Alenko, you are behaving like a petulant child and you should be ashamed of yourself." She grabbed his pants from the floor and flung them in his face. "Now put some clothes on and speak to me like an adult."
Kaidan obeyed, but only because his nakedness was causing him to blush under Liara's intense stare. Once they were on he fell back on the bed and covered his eyes with his arm. He felt the bed shift as Liara sat down beside him. Her voice was gentle again when she spoke.
"What would Shepard think if she saw you behaving this way?"
"Don't talk to me about Shepard," he growled at her.
"And why not? She was my friend too, and I know she would not look kindly on you right now."
Kaidan sighed and looked up at her. "What do you want me to say, Liara?"
"I want you to apologize to Catherine."
"So, I guess everyone knows what happened last night?" he closed his eyes last night, feeling once again ashamed of how he had treated her and how he had lashed out at James afterwards.
"Catherine has told no one," Liara told him. "But everyone saw you leave together, and witnessed what you did when you came back alone. It's not difficult to work out."
Kaidan felt relieved and grateful that Catherine had said nothing. She was close with Morgan and Gabby and he had fully expected to have the wrath of at least those two woman come down on him today.
"Is it really so wrong of me to change my mind?" Kaidan said while trying to rationalize the idea in his own mind.
"Last night was not a... What is it humans call it? A one night stand? And your relationship with her has not been a mere dalliance. You've essentially been courting her for the last six months. Ever since the night you found her in the rain."
Kaidan knew what Liara was saying was true, but he had no answer. No justification to offer. He'd been moving on. Slowly but surely he had been getting over the past and forgetting Shepard.
"Kaidan, if you were not ready for what almost transpired last night, then you should not have let it happen. Catherine has had feelings for you almost the entire time we've been here and she has held back and let you make the choices for yourself. You must apologize to her. You must make this right."
"To what end, Liara? I might never be ready to move on," Kaidan said in a pained voice.
"That does not excuse you," she chided gently. "You must make your peace with her and you must do it before she comes to you. She feels she has done something wrong, and you and I both know that is simply not true."
Kaidan was silent. He could think of no answer to give. Liara's words were true and he knew he had to do something. Make some gesture of contrition. But he had no idea how to approach the conversation. Just thinking about Catherine made him feel humiliated. Looking her in the eye would be the worst thing he could face.
"Kaidan, I must ask," Liara said carefully. "Do you feel anything for Catherine?"
"Yes." His answer was immediate and slipped from his mouth before he could stop it.
"Good," Liara said with a nod. "I would hate to realize only now that I had completely misjudged you. You are better than this, Kaidan. And she deserved better from you."
"I'll say something, Liara. I promise I will. Just... Give me some time to think."
Liara leaned down and kissed him softly on the forehead.
"Don't wait too long. Soul searching won't bring her solace."
She rose and left the house, but Kaidan didn't move for a long time. He thought about everything that had happened the night before. The lean muscles of Catherine's back under his hand. Her warm, moist tongue entangled with his own and the sugar sweet taste of her lips.
Every movement of her body had felt so natural and so right, as if he had tasted her, smelled her, and caressed her before. He thought of the timid way she had accepted his kiss the first time he leaned in to her, and as he did that same sense of déjà vu tugged at him. This time he let it come, but it just made him think of home, of the Rockies.
Finally, Kaidan hauled himself up off the bed and neatly folded and tucked away his dress uniform. He picked up Shepard's black N7 sweater from where it lay on the floor at the end of the bed and held it to his face, breathing deeply. After so long Shepard scent had completely faded. That crisp, clean smell with a hint of thermal clip and sweat. He missed her smell. He missed her.
And then he realized something. As desperately as he missed her, he now went days at a time without thinking about her, and often when he did he greet the memories with a fond, if sad, feeling. Whether he wanted it to happen or not, spending time with Catherine had helped him reach this point, but part of him did not want to thank her for that. That selfish, maudlin part of him that dominated his mind right now wanted to ignore her and make her hurt the way he hurt.
Shaking off the feelings that offended his better nature, Kaidan dressed in his work clothes and steeled himself for what he might find outside.
He wasn't particularly hungry so he skipped the hall and went straight to the showers. The reservoir tanks from the Normandy which sat on the roof held and heated enough water for everyone to shower every day, but after the festivities the night before everyone had needed to bathe and only enough hot water remained for Kaidan to quickly rinse off.
Feeling somewhat refreshed he went to the hall to eat and found James and Morgan together in the kitchen. The hall was otherwise abandoned and Kaidan almost turned around to leave, but James called him over and he could hardly escape now. He walked over to them cautiously. James was smiling, though his face was bruised and nose swollen. Morgan's look, however, was frosty and she turned away from the conversation to continue cooking as Kaidan approached.
"That was one hell of a sucker punch last night, amigo," James clapped a hand on Kaidan's shoulder. "No hard feelings though. We've all been scorned once or twice."
Morgan spun on James and punched him soundly in the arm. He winced and rubbed it briskly. She gave Kaidan an icy stare and stalked from the building.
"We have different opinions about what happened between you two last night," James explained.
Kaidan leaned against the counter beside James and crossed his arms.
"Morgan's got you on this one. I was a complete ass last night."
James didn't seem surprised and Kaidan wondered if it had all been a ploy to get him talking. Not that he minded. Somehow talking to another man felt easier than talking to Liara.
He didn't say anything for a few minutes and James waited patiently beside him. Finally he made an attempt to explain what he was feeling.
"I just... I can't let myself forget about Shepard."
"What makes you think you have to?" James asked, and the question struck Kaidan like a hammer hitting a bell.
"How is it fair to Catherine if I don't?" he heard himself asking, as if his mouth was acting on orders he hadn't realized his brain had sent.
"No one said you have to forget her. You just have to learn to think of her differently than you do Catnip."
"That's surprisingly insightful of you, Mister Vega."
"I have my moments," James said with a shrug. "Now just swallow your pride and go talk to her."
"Where is she?" Kaidan half expected James to say she was in her cabin crying, but he knew better. Catherine was a tougher woman than that.
"Where she always is. With her plants."
Kaidan left the hall and made his way slowly to the fields, rehearsing in his head the whole way what he would say to her. Wondering how he could possibly explain to her how he felt without sounding like a completely self absorbed SOB.
When he reached the garden he spotted her immediately, on her knees with her head down, pulling weeds from between her rows of carefully sown vegetables. She was a fair distance from everyone else in the garden and at least ten people stood between Kaidan and her.
They noticed him first, and everyone paused in their work to stare, mostly at him, but a few of the woman turned their gazes to her. If he wanted to reach her, he would have to do the walk of shame and endure their disapproving looks.
He started towards her, but before he'd made it three paces she looked up and spotted him across the field. Her look was one of such misery that Kaidan stopped in his tracks. Indecision plagued him and he waited too long. He saw her chin quiver ever so slightly, and then her jaw hardened and she went back to work with determination.
The moment had passed and Kaidan had let it slip through his fingers. Maybe now wasn't the right time, with so many other people around. He would wait until after supper and go to her at home, privately.
He grabbed a shovel and went to work turning the soil between the rows of grains, acting as if that was what he'd come to do all along.
Kaidan laboured until the sun began to dip towards the horizon and the other people in the field began to leave their work and heading for the settlement. He kept working, hoping that Catherine would linger and maybe he could talk to her here, but one of her team found a reason to talk to her first and they walked away together leaving Kaidan standing alone with his shovel.
Dinner was a more sedate affair than usual. Everyone was feeling the effects of the night before and there were more than a few hung over people just resting their heads on the table tops moaning their woes to anyone who would listen.
Kaidan took his food and ate by himself in the lab. EDI joined him half way through his meal and conversed politely with him, but Kaidan suspected it was mostly due to her curiosity about human nature.
When he left the lab, the hall was emptying as people went to their beds early, leaving their dishes for later. Catherine was no where to be seen and once again Kaidan steeled himself as he strode down the path to her cabin.
His hand was raised to rap on the metal door when he heard voices within. Gabby was there with her and Kaidan couldn't help but overhear what they were saying.
"Cat, you didn't do anything wrong. Everyone thought you two were already an item and it wasn't because of you. He's been flirting with you for months."
"But I should have known he wasn't ready. How can I possibly compare to someone like Shepard? It was so stupid of me to think that he could ever love someone like me after having someone like her."
"No one could ever be like Shepard. She was living legend, and she may have loved him, but her duty always came first. Kaidan is a fool if he can't see what he's got here. Only an idiot gives up a chance to love again."
"I've loved that man for years, Gabby. Most of my life in fact. How am I supposed to look at him now?"
"What do you mean 'most of your life'? I thought you'd only just met him on the Normandy."
Catherine was silent and a morbid curiosity in Kaidan willed her to reply, though the answer was already clawing at his mind, demanding that he acknowledge it.
"I met Kaidan on Earth when we were just kids. He probably doesn't even remember me, but I've always remembered him. That's why this is so unfair to him. I've been in this relationship for decades longer than he has."
Kaidan backed away from the door, his heart pounding in his chest. How could he not have seen it before now? How could he not have recognized those blue eyes and that hair? It had been longer back then, a mass of swirling ringlets he'd got his finger awkwardly tangled in as they kissed. On the Normandy she'd kept it sheered short and had only now been letting it grow out, but there was no doubt that she was the same girl.
His heel caught a rock as he continued the walk backwards and he fell, now literally as floored as he felt.
"Kaidan, are you alright?" It was Garrus, standing over him with a clawed hand out to help him up. Grasping it, Kaidan pulled himself to his feet and continued to stare at the door to Catherine's house.
"I have fucked up so badly, Garrus," he whispered.
"Catherine's a reasonable woman," Garrus said comfortingly. "I'm sure she'll listen to what ever you have to say."
"No," Kaidan shook his head. "You have no idea how badly I have screwed this up."
And with that he turned and stormed back to his own cabin. His mind wrestled with a thousand thoughts all at once. Nothing made sense now. On top of reconciling a way to be with Catherine, he now had to decide how to tell her he knew who she was. If he should tell her at all.
The chance lost again for that day, he sat down at his desk and immersed himself in any work he could. And continued to do the same every day after that.
Each morning he woke and promised himself that this would be the day he would talk to her. And each day ended with him kicking himself. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. Before he knew it, a week had gone by. Then two weeks. And with each day that passed it became more and more difficult to fathom speaking to her alone.
He worked in the garden less and less, not avoiding, but finding he didn't like the work quite so much without her company. As a result she was forced to come to him to talk about matters concerning the settlement. She was civil and polite, but never looked him in the eye, and Kaidan's guilt grew with every strained conversation. The opportunity to restore some semblance of their friendly relationship had long passed and little chance remained.
The men of the camp didn't treat Kaidan much differently, but many of the woman, particularly Liara and Morgan, treated him with barely contained loathing. He didn't have the same easy companionship with Tali or Gabby either. Although, none of them said anything outright, Kaidan knew they were furious with him. Not because he and Catherine hadn't kissed and made up, but because he had never managed even an apology for his actions.
It was late in the summer when things took a turn for the worse in the settlement. Morgan was heavy with child and spent most of her time trying not to go into labour early. Several other women were pregnant as well, including Diana and Gabby, and along with harvesting the seasons bumper crops, people dedicated their time towards preparing for the arrival of the first children.
They began construction of an expansion on the great hall, trying to make more room for a larger medical suite at Doctor Chakwas' request. With help from EDI's considerable databases, the were also adding to the amount of furniture available to those now with houses of their own.
The Normandy had only contained twenty-two bunks and five sleeper pods. It certainly hadn't held any cribs or rocking chairs. They were still able to machine tools and some parts with the equipment from the ship, but supplies were running low and they had to start using the local flora to build what they needed.
Now able to put significantly more strain on his bones, Joker had found that he had a knack for carpentry. Day in and day out, glad to finally be of some significant use, he made built everything they needs; cribs, tables, chairs, bed frames, saw horses. He even managed to build a wheeled cart that was sturdy enough to be pulled up and down the garden path, making the harvest that much easier.
Garrus had been taking his hunters further and further afield through the summer as they learned their way around the terrain and local wildlife. They had already established where several types of bird nested and plans were made to snatch young in the spring so they could start domesticating them.
The hunters had left several days earlier and headed west, further into the mountains. The jagged peaks and valleys made traversing the landscape difficult and this was the first time anyone had gone that direction on foot.
They weren't due back for at least a day so when Kaidan saw Ivan come stumbling into the camp, nearly collapsing from exhaustion, he panicked.
He and several others rushed to his side as he fell to the ground quickly losing consciousness. They carried him inside the hall and laid him on a gurney. Dr. Chakwas hurried in minutes later and examined him.
"He's seriously dehydrated," said told Kaidan as she inserted a needle into a vein in Ivan's sun burnt arm and hung one of their few remaining bags of saline on a hook above the bed.
Ivan was trying to say something and Kaidan had to lean closer to make the words out.
"We were attacked. Huge cat thing. Garrus hurt," was all he got out before he fainted clean away.
At that moment, Diana came flying into the room and threw herself on Ivan's chest, shoving Kaidan out of the way.
While Karin tried to calm Diana and explain that Ivan would be fine, Kaidan went back outside. A worried crowd had gathered and he placated them all before taking James and Cortez aside.
"They were attacked. Garrus was hurt."
"Do we know where they are?" Cortez asked.
"No, but they can't be far." Kaidan glanced up and saw Tali approaching and lowered his voice. "Let me handle Tali."
"What's going on Kaidan?" He voice was slightly muffled through the breathing mask she now wore in place of the full helmet. "Someone said Ivan came back alone."
"We're not sure yet," he said calmly. "Garrus is injured, but that's all we know. We'll wait until Ivan can tell us more."
Tali didn't yet realize what rough shape Ivan was in, so although she looked deeply concerned, she didn't fly into a flurry of activity, trying to mount a rescue mission immediately.
"Garrus is tough," she said. "I'm sure he's ok."
She seemed calm, but they could all see the concern in her eyes. As she walked away, they could see her wringing her hands the way she did whenever she got worked up.
Kaidan turned back to Cortez and James. "If they could have brought Garrus back they would have. I think me may have to assume the worst. Get the shuttle ready. We're going to go look for them."
"Maybe we should wait for Ivan to give us some direction," James put in.
"Tali and EDI amped up the signal range of the comm array ages ago," Steve told them. "We should be able to keep in contact and get updates from Ivan while we get a head start searching."
James and Cortez jogged off to the landing area while Kaidan slipped back inside and furtively told Karin what they were planning.
"I'm coming with you, Kaidan. If Garrus is seriously hurt I'm the only one how can help him."
"All right, but don't say anything to Tali. I don't want her freaking out."
Acting as normally as they possibly could, they kept their pace to a quick walk as they followed James and Steve to the shuttle. They were in the air a little after noon and flying westward low over the treetops so Kaidan and James could keep an eye out the open door.
Their zigzagging course had only taken them ten kilometers when a red flare shot up in front of them. Their speed shot them past and Kaidan leaned as far out the door as he could as Cortez banked the shuttle around and began to descend to a rocky outcrop where several men and woman waved urgently at them.
There wasn't space enough to land so Cortez held the shuttle at a hover as close to the edge as he could managed. Kaidan jumped out and held out a hand to help Karin down. James followed carrying the emergency kit.
Adams jogged up to them as Kaidan surveyed the scene. Of the six people there, only three were still on their feet, and Adams was clearly injured as well. Two men had deep gashes that had been hastily bandaged, but Garrus was by far the worst.
They'd erected a shelter over him to protect him from the sun, but even in the shadow Kaidan could see he was pale. There was a thin of blue blood running down the rock away from him. Doctor Chakwas rushed to his side and got to work immediately, but Kaidan hung back with Adams.
"What happened?" he asked.
"We were trying to find a way through the next set of peaks and ended up using a game trail," he told him. "It was a narrow path and we had to go single file. Garrus was the first through and we heard gun fire almost as soon as he was out of our sight. He was shouting for us to stay back, but as if we were going to listen. We came out firing, but he was already down. The thing was massive. Like a big cat. Almost like a lion, but it was all grey and green. And it moved so fast we could barely track it. I got a lucky shot in and pegged it in the head. It fell off the cliff, but we didn't bother to see if it was dead."
"You guys are lucky to be alive," Kaidan breathed, relived that they all still were. "How bad is Garrus?"
"Pretty bad," Adams said, glancing back at his prone figure. "It got it's teeth into his neck. His armor saved him from the worst of it, but it must have shaken him like a rag doll cause he lost half his crest. Snapped two of the horns right off."
Kaidan patted him on the shoulder. "Get yourselves into the shuttle. It'll be a tight fit but we should be able to get you all back."
Adams nodded and went to the others and start helping them limp their way to the hovering shuttle. Kaidan went to Garrus's side to find the turian awake and blinking rapidly. His eyes were glassy, but they focused on Kaidan as he knelt down.
"Hey Garrus," he said with a weak smile. "Trying to get even uglier?"
Karin put a hand over Garrus's mouth and shushed him.
"Don't let him talk," she said and Kaidan heard he worry in her voice. "His throat is seriously damaged. I've done what I can here, but we have to get him back to my equipment quickly. He's lost a lot of blood."
James and Kaidan quickly took the shelter down and tied it to a hastily made frame to make a stretcher. They eased the turian on to it and moved him and carefully as they could to the waiting shuttle.
With the added weight, Cortez was having a hard time keeping it stable. It took some tricky maneuvering to get the stretcher inside, and Kaidan nearly slipped climbing in after it. Karin was last aboard and then Cortez shot away at top speed.
They radioed ahead and the signal was filled with static but audible. EDI's voice came out of the speaker at the front.
"I have prepared an operating table with proper equipment for turian medical procedures. When should I expect you?"
Kaidan leaned forward to the pick up. "Shouldn't be too long. Ten minutes max. We're going to land at the fire pit. Make sure the area is clear."
"Of course, Kaidan." She signed off and Kaidan leaned back against the cock pit wall. He closed his eyes and told himself that Garrus would be fine. He was still a young turian, only thirty-six years old, the same as Kaidan.
Kaidan turned and looked back into the main hold. Karin was now tending to the other injured. One of the injured was a woman, Rowan, who he didn't know very well. She was quiet and kept mostly to herself. Karin was unwrapping the bandages from a nasty gash on her leg and Kaidan winced with her as the cut reopened and blood dripped on the floor.
"Don't worry guys," Kaidan tried to reassure them all. "We'll be back soon."
Tali met them when the shuttle landed, holding back her tears as they unloaded Garrus and carried him as steadily as they could to the new door in the side of the hall where the hospital would be.
Tali clung on to Garrus's hand the whole way, ordering him to hang on, telling him he couldn't leave her here alone. Kaidan and James lifted him from the stretcher and lay him out on the operating table within the sterile space EDI had made while Doctor Chakwas scrubbed in.
Just a few short months ago, Tali would have leaned on Kaidan for support, but now it was Joker she turned to. He sat with her out in the hall while EDI tended to the more minor injuries of Adams and the others, her dexterous fingers and synthetic eyes not needing the extra tools the doctor required.
Liara soon joined them in the hall and went right to Tali's side, listening to her friend's worries with soothing sounds of sympathy and comfort. Javik, who was rarely seen around the settlement those day, made an appearance and offered to help if he could.
Worried for his friend, Kaidan paced up and down the centre of the hall, wishing there was something he could do. When Karin finally emerged two hours later, she spoke to Tali first and when the quarian had turned and rushed into the labs, Kaidan feared the worst.
"Is he going to be all right, Karin?" he asked as she took off the surgical gown and draped it over the back of a chair.
"I've repaired as much of the damage as I could. It was difficult given how much scar tissue he has," Karin said as she rubbed a kink out of the back of her neck. "He's lost a lot of blood though. Normally, a transfusion would turn the tide and give him quite favourable odds, but without that... I'm afraid he might not make it."
Kaidan sank to a chair and put his head in his hands. Garrus was one of his best friends. The turian had been there for him through some of the worst days of his life and the thought of losing him was unendurable.
"If he makes it through the night, he'll have a good chance," Karin said as she sat down beside Kaidan. "But as I just told Tali, I think it would be best if you prepared yourself for the worst."
Kaidan looked up at her. "You don't think he's going to make it."
"I think it will be nothing short of a miracle if he does."
Kaidan shook his head in dismay. "Please, keep me updated, Karin. I've got to keep moving or I'm going to go crazy."
"Of course, Kaidan," she said with a consoling pat on his knee.
As Kaidan rose to leave, Catherine came tearing though the door, pushing at it when it opened too slowly. Her bare feet, knees and hands were crusted with dried dirt. She rushed to Kaidan's side.
"Is he okay?" She was out of breath and pink in the cheeks.
"It doesn't look good," Kaidan said, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
"Oh no," she breathed, tears sparkling in her eyes.
She reached out a hand as if to touch his arm, but quickly pulled her hand back. Mumbling something about getting cleaned up, she turned and left the hall, bits of dirt dusting from her as she moved.
Karin turned and walked back into the labs and Kaidan was left standing alone in the centre of the hall. There was a commotion outside and he trotted to the door to see what was going on.
James was carrying Morgan up the path, his chin bouncing off her huge belly as he jogged. Morgan was clearly in pain and let out little cries while clutching at her abdomen.
Looking elated and terrified at the same time he slowed as he reached Kaidan.
"When it rains it pours, amigo. Morgan's in labour."
Morgan dug her fingers into James' shoulder as another contraction hit. "He can figure that out for himself you big idiot. Get me inside."
James gave a gleeful laugh and swung her through the door. A minute later he emerged again with Dr. Chakwas close behind. She was carrying the bag she'd prepared just for this event and shooing James in front of her.
"Put the woman down, you cretin," she admonished him. "She pregnant, not crippled. Moving will help with the pain."
"That's what I said," Morgan said as James set her on the ground.
James still kept his hand on the small of her back as he escorted her back to their house, totally out of his element. Karin stopped beside Kaidan and let out a deep sigh.
"I've been dreading this moment for months."
"Why?" Kaidan said, watching with envy as James fumbled around Morgan, unsure how to help as she swatted him away.
"I've never delivered a baby. My whole career has been sewing up soldiers. And Morgan is a tiny woman carrying a very large child. She's tough as nails, but this is going to be a rough night for her." She glanced at Kaidan and saw the worry in his eyes. "Oh, don't be such a man. She'll be fine. It's James I'm worried about. And me."
She chuckled and continued down the path after the loving couple. Kaidan stood and watched until they were out of sight. He desperately needed to talk to someone, or at least just sit quietly with a drink and delve into his thoughts with silent company, but with Garrus at death's door, Tali at his side, James attending the birth of his child, and Liara alienated, he felt horribly alone.
As dusk fell, tension through the settlement rose. Nobody wanted to be in the hall for fear of being present if Garrus didn't make it, and outside the air was filled with Morgan's cries of pain.
Her screams were interspersed with some of the most foul language Kaidan had ever heard, but it was hard to be amused as her labour entered its seventh hour.
Later, unable to rest, Kaidan got out of bed and pulled on his boots, hoping to find sleep somewhere out under the stars. Morgan's cries were weaker now and he wished he could support James, but their home wasn't large enough for another person, and Kaidan doubted Morgan wanted him there.
He wandered aimlessly, worry gnawing at his stomach. Tali and Liara were still in the hall which mean Garrus was still alive, but that offered little relief to Kaidan's tortured soul.
After nearly an hour of wandering, he found himself outside Catherine's door. He stood there staring at the polished metal, willing himself to have the courage to knock on it. When it opened and Catherine appeared in the doorway, they both jumped in surprise. Their eyes met for the first time in months and Kaidan could tell she'd been crying.
Without thinking he closed the space between them with two long strides and wrapped his arms around her. Her arms were tucked up between them, but she turned her head and rested her cheek against his chest, the tears beginning again.
Neither of them said a word during their brief embrace, and it was Catherine who pulled away first.
"You look exhausted, Kaidan."
"I feel like I haven't slept in days."
She stepped back inside and held the door open.
"Come inside."
He didn't hesitate this time but followed her inside and closed the door behind him. The standing lamp she'd claimed from the ship's lounge was on and draped with a piece of orange fabric that gave the room a suffused, orange glow.
Her small bed was unkempt and she had obviously just climbed out of it. The only other thing in the space was her locker from the ship, a chair from the mess hall and an end table made for her by Joker.
The bed was pushed up against the back wall beneath the window and a cool breeze wafted in, stirring the blue curtains. Looking at them, Kaidan realized they were made from the dress she'd worn the night of the wake.
He didn't know what to say to her, but he felt he said to say something.
"Catherine, I..."
She interrupted him with a finger on his lips.
"Hush, Kaidan. Tonight's not the night."
Taking his hand she lead him to the bed where she propped a pillow up against the wall and turned back the blankets. She pushed him down to sit on the edge of the bunk and then knelt down to pull off his heavy boots.
She climbed on the bed and sat across the top, her back against the pillow and feet sticking out the side. Patting her leg with one hand she pulled Kaidan down with her other.
He rested his head against her thigh and she dragged the blanket up over him. One hand lay on his chest while she stoked his hair, her fingers brushing against his forehead with every motion.
He closed his eyes and let himself drift. Eventually he fell sleep and when he woke Catherine was gone. He lay on his side with the pillow tucked beneath his head and the blankets pulled up over his shoulder. Sunlight steamed in through the filmy blue curtains.
Memories of the day before came flooding back to him and he leapt out of bed, yanking his boots back on and hurrying out the door. There was no one around and he couldn't decide where to go first.
Before he could make a decision, he looked up the path to see Karin coming out of the hall. She saw him and beckoned. He took off at a run, fearing for this friends.
"Garrus?" he asked breathlessly.
"Hanging on by a thread," she said wearily. There were deep shadows under her eyes and Kaidan doubted she'd slept at all.
"And Morgan?"
"Resting well. She delivered a healthy baby girl just after midnight," Karin said with a satisfied smile.
Kaidan grabbed her in a huge hug that lifted her right off her feet. "What would we do without you?"
Kaidan felt brilliant. Better than he had all summer. Garrus was still alive, a brand new life had arrived, and some kind of peace had been made with Catherine.
"James is showing her off in the hall, if you want to meet our newest crew member. I'm going to bed."
Kaidan gave her a kiss on the cheek and went into the hall, looking around for Catherine as he did so. He didn't find her, but James was standing in the middle of the room holding a tiny bundles in his massive arms.
He looked even more exhausted than Karin, but he grinned at Kaidan and whispered for him to come over.
"Would you look at this, Kaidan," he said as he raised the new baby up in his arms for Kaidan to admire. "I've got a daughter."
His voice was filled with wonder as he looked down on his child's red, wrinkled face. Using one finger, Kaidan pulled the blanket away from her face.
"Congratulations, James," he said with a pat on his friend's arm. "What's her name?"
"Lola Isabel Vega."
Kaidan looked from the child and into James' face.
"Some of my favourite people were Lolas," he told Kaidan, who tried not to let on how emotional the name made him feel.
"Yeah, me too," Kaidan replied. "I should go see Garrus. Give Morgan my love."
James was ignoring him already, totally lost in his love for this new little life. Kaidan made his way through the hall and into the dimness of the labs.
A more permanent wall had been built around the medical suite since his stay there and he quietly opened the door to find Liara and Tali asleep side by side on the couch next to Garrus's bed. Tali's eyes were swollen and her hair a tousled mess.
Out of his armor, Garrus looked small under the blankets pulled up over his chest. His head lay to the side exposing the damage to his neck. The wounds were covered in sterile, white bandages, but Kaidan could tell they were extensive.
As Kaidan looked down at the turian an alarm began to beep urgently beside the bed. EDI came around the corner from the next bed and took a quick reading.
"What's wrong EDI?" Kaidan asked desperately.
Tali was awake instantly at his side immediately, pushing Kaidan out of the way to lean down to Garrus's face.
"His blood pressure is dropping," EDI said while she made subtle adjustments on the machines around the bed.
"I thought Karin said he was holding on," Tali almost wailed.
"He was," EDI replied. "But things can change quickly."
She moved with more urgency now, injecting something with a purplish hue directly into Garrus's neck. Tali began to sob in earnest now, while Liara came up beside Kaidan and took his hand tightly in hers.
"Kaidan, are we about to watch our friend die?"
The question required no answer and Kaidan had none to give. He could only stand and wait, and hope that Garrus could pull through this.