Author's Note: Hello everybody! I'm so excited/anxious/nervous/happy to present the next chapter of Meant to Be. Now I know it's been a LONG time since I updated and everything and I'm extremely sorry, but well as we all know life can be a biotch. It just has a way of fudging everything up as soon as it starts going right. And well, I won't bore any of you with my sob stories. And well, if it interests any of you, you can ask me what's been happening in life lately that made me write this chapter the way I did. My backstory will really make this whole twist in this chapter clearer. And I know some of you are going to hate me at the end of this chapter simply cause you aren't going to like the direction this chapter is going, but I assure you this chapter is just overly girly and feeling-y because I am writing this during my period and during a VERY stressful time in my life. So I used this to vent. But I will promise that the girliness should not carry on into the next chapter. I hope…
Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men: First Class or anything related to the X-Men verse. I simply own all the side characters whom I have come to love and adore so much.
Erik was dreaming. Well, more like he was paralyzed by the pain in his body and thus his mind was wandering. He had done it again; he had back talked his trainer. But he just couldn't stop himself, the trainer had insulted Mannschaft, calling him scum and saying he was going soft, mentoring such a weak, untalented boy. And of course the comment on his uselessness had simply slid over his head because he knew he was useless in his training and was disgusted in his inability to meet everyone's standards, especially Mannschaft's. No, those comments didn't matter. But no one insulted Mannschaft. No one.
Mannschaft was the fatherly figure Erik had always wanted. He was brave and strong, but kind and compassionate towards Erik. Erik always felt respected when being talked to, as if he were his equal, but he knew how to make Erik feel horrible when he failed or was reprimanded. But he did something that Erik's own father hadn't done' he loved Erik. He treated Erik as he would his own son. Sure he bloodied Erik up in and hour more than any of his trainers did in a whole day, but Erik knew for a fact that Mannschaft would pace up and down the floor outside the infirmary until the nurses told him Erik was stable. The man had officially been banned from inside the infirmary when last time he had decided, in a mixture of boredom and worry, to mix all the vials the nurses had painstakingly sorted. It had taken them a week to rearrange them all. At that Mannschaft had laughed and said, "If they had let me stay for five more minutes, I could have resorted them all." When Erik asked why he hadn't just stayed there since there was no way for the nurses to make him leave if he really wanted to stay, Mannschaft replied in a grave voice, "Have you ever tried to face Head Nurse Jane when she's cross? And armed with a very large needle? Geez, I hate needles" and laughed, his deep baritone comforting to Erik.
Erik's mind stopped with the pleasant memories and went back to replaying yesterday, the little voice of reason within his head, which had a British accent for some reason, pointing out how foolish he had been. In a way he had been lucky to get away alive.
"You're weak! You can't even do this much, you worthless swine?" his trainer screamed in frustration, bringing his walking stick, which seemed to be used more for beating Erik up than for aiding him in walking, down hard across Erik's leg. Erik bit his lip hard to keep himself from whimpering; the sound only infuriated the man that much more. "You are a waste of time and energy. I don't know what Shaw sees in you, you worthless piece of shite. If it were up to me, I would have dropped your sorry arse off at some concentration camp where they would treat you as you deserve." Throwing a kick at hius ribs, the trainer smirked at the thud produced as his foot met Erik's side. This time the whine of pain made its way out of his throat,. Freezing, Erik's body tensed, watiting for another blow as punishment, but instead Trainer Fredrik just sighed and started walking away. What he said next sounded as if it were meant for him alone. "To think the great Shadow Dancer has fallen so far. His name alone could stop armies in their tracks. Now he's reduced himself to the mentor of garbage. Oh how the mighty fall. Now he couldn't even scare a beggar away. How pathetic," he spat.
Erik had sometime during this tirade began to breath heavily. The pain in his body numbed as he felt his rage pile up within him, growing higher and higher like a massive wave. He grit his teeth together, letting the power build up even more. His body became hypersensitive to his surroundings. Every piece of metal in the tent beside him and the training ground began to hum, sensing the power emanating from the boy. Finally, the dam broke and the waves of power rolling off the boy were practically visible. Every shard of metal in the room went soaring, uprooting themselves easily and sailing through the air towards the man who, having heard the screeching of metal, had turned around. Eyes widening as hundreds of sharp metal pieces flew towards him, he twisted on the spot, disappearing just as the metal skewered the ground where he was standing. Erik collapsed to all fours, his hands and knees hitting the ground. He felt weak and his head spun violently. Stomach convulsing, Erik committed sporadically. His body convulsed his muscles spasming as he dry heaved. A presence to his side became known a second before the cane slammed against his side. His shaking limbs gave in to the blow and Erik collapsed into his own vomit. The cane rained down again and again, shots of pain running up his spine each time the walking stick made contact. Each new lash was as painful and vivid as the first. The blows rained down with no sign of slowing down or stopping. In fact, they seemed to grow in intensity as it went on. Erik was aware he was screaming and choking on his own vomit with each gasp, but all his mind was focused on was the all-consuming burning, the pain, the agony, the tearing of his flesh. This was by far the worst beating he had ever had. His mind begged for it to end as screams tore out of his body, coming out gurgled as he choked. His insides burned white hot, matching the feeling of destruction being wrought upon his body. Then something happened that only part of his mind registered, storing in his memory for later. As it was, he felt a cooling presence to his right, the voice of reason from within him screaming at him to get up, to fight back. The voice's British accent contrasted with Erik's guttural, German screams and the strings of profanity his trainer spat out in a combination of Polish and German. Then the voice was outside of his head, coming from the presence to his right. But the words he shouted resonated in his mind even as the voice said them aloud.
"Erik! Erik! Can you hear me?" There was a pause for a moment before he continued, his voice burning with anger and Erik can hear the cracks in his words as he sobbed. "I know you can hear me! Get up Erik! Get up! Don't just lie here and let him do this! Fight back! Fight Erik! Get up and fight!"
Erik felt the next lash worse than any of the others. The strike destroyed all hopes of doing anything but lie still. Erik couldn't find it within himself to move, to fight as the voice demanded of him. All he could do was lie there and beg for it all to end, for him to finally bleed out or be struck so hard his ribs cracked and punctured his lungs, causing him to suffocate to death; anything as long as the pain stopped.
There was a sob coming from the presence on his right. It sounded broken as it hitched in his throat. "Erik… please… Hold on. Please. Help is coming. Just hold on for a few more minutes. Please…" it sobbed. He could feel wet droplets fall on his skin. His voice was crying for him. Later he would be confused why he had felt those tears, but at the moment all he could feel was safe. He knew it was stupid; the voice was but a part of him that kept him sane most of the time, but he couldn't help but think of it as a separate being, a being that watched over him, protected him. He was Erik's own Schutzengel. And if he said that help was coming, Erik believed him. And he was going to hold on as long as possible.
His body was starting to go numb, which worried Erik. He knew his blood levels were rapidly decreasing and as horrible as the mind blowing pain was, the numbness was worse. It meant that his body was shutting down: the human body could only take so much abuse before it simply gave in. He was reaching his breaking point and he didn't know how much longer he could last. He knew his blood levels were rapidly decreasing and as horrible as the mind blowing pain was, the numbness was worse. It meant that his body was shutting down: the human body could only take so much abuse before it simply gave in. He was reaching his breaking point and he didn't know how much longer he could last. But the voice seemed to know exactly what he was thinking as soon as he thought it and began chanting words of encouragement that dispelled any doubts Erik had before they had a chance to take root. The words gave the terrible moments of simply waiting; lying there as the life bled out of him in hopes of some cavalry he couldn't be sure was going to come, purpose.
"Just a little bit longer Erik… Hold on… hold on…" The voice whispered gently. As he did, Erik grit his teeth just to keep some sort of feeling in his body and keep the numbness from luring him away. It helped that the voice kept whispering soothing words in his ear, telling him how he was doing great, how he was so strong, how he only had a few moments more before it would be over and he would be safe.
And when the door burst open, Erik couldn't stop himself from letting out a sigh of relief at the sight of Mannschaft at the door, his face the sight of pure, unrestrained anger. And it was all directed at Trainer Fredrik. The beatings stopped a moment later as Fredrik caught sight of the bomb sitting in his doorway. Then he let out a sound of pure terror and wicked glee washed over Erik. The voice had stopped speaking to him as soon as the door opened, instead shouting at everyone else in the room. Which, in Erik's opinion, was fine, because he wouldn't have heard a word the voice was saying anyways. All that was going through his mind now that the endorphins thrummed through his veins, hiding any pain he would feel later, was a deep sense of accomplishment. "I made it; I'll be safe now. Mannschaft will protect me now. I'm safe. Now I can relax. I can let go. I can… I can sleep," Erik thought. And then the world went black.
The next day was intense. For a short time Erik was aware of what was being said around him, but no matter what, he remained locked within his own world. He heard the nurses conversing and knew that apparently he should have woken by now. They were fearful that the shock of his injuries had sent him into a coma and he would not wake up, but Erik couldn't bring himself to leave the safe haven his mind had created. After a while, Erik simply stopped listening to the outside world and closed himself away. It was completely black here. There was nothing; nothing within this place existed in a material sense. It simply existed. It was all pure energy. And it was anything Erik wanted it to be.
Time moved differently in here. It wasn't all strict and defined. It was fluid and moved smoothly, sometimes pausing and stretching. A minute could be decades or simply the blink of an eye. It was all to the perception of the mind. And it was way more confusing than anything Erik had ever encountered so he simply decided not to dwell upon it. It was much easier if he stopped asking how and simply was. And it was easier. All the pain and suffering had drained out of his thoughts. Now, all those feeling from before seemed separate from himself, as if he knew they were there and could be felt, but he was free of all the complexity of emotion. They held no meaning within the deep recesses of his mind where he now dwelled.
Erik had simply existed within his own subconscious for what seemed eternity, when it happened. It had been unexpected and paralyzed Erik at its abruptness. There was all black, nothing but Erik, his pure… essence (?) and then the next moment it was as if a bomb had dropped. His subconscious simply… exploded. Light, color sound, texture, taste, and smell formed and expanded outwards exponentially within a second. It was blinding in its intensity, and Erik's mind reeled trying to catch back up. His ears rung, his vision had black spots, vibrant colors danced before his eyes, and his nose was assaulted by every kind of scent. All of his senses were activated and it was like experiencing everything at the exact same time. Then, as soon as it had come, everything was gone. All the lights and sensations imploded back to one central spot and simply disappeared, vanished, leaving Erik alone in his subconscious as before.
Except he wasn't alone. In the center where everything had coalesced into one point was something. There was the sense that someone else was here. And that person was like a vacuum, pulling Erik's presence towards its own. It was like gravity: an force he couldn't fight that just kept pulling him forward. And Erik didn't want to fight. It was insane, but he felt as if he knew the mind next this, as if some part of him had always known and the rest of him was just now figuring something important out. Something huge and life-changing. And the pull just kept going, moving him and the presence closer together until their minds met, and it was like Erik was being pulled into the other mind. A white light shone brightly the second their two minds met and Erik felt like he was falling.
I know you… he thought.
And then he was back in his body. And above him was a boy with tawny brown hair and the bluest eyes Erik had ever seen. As he looked up at the boy, all he could think was, "Beautiful." And then their minds met and it was unlike anything Erik had ever experienced, but it was so familiar at the same time. . Erik reached out, pulling the boy closer, pulling both the boys hands to his chest and resting his palm against the boy's cheek, making him face him and stared into those blue eyes. He had never felt this sort of connection with another person, ever. He had never touched the mind of another person. Except the presence. This boy. This boy was the presence, the one who had saved him from the pain and returned him to his body. This boy was the one who had cried for him. The one who had made him hold on, made him keep living He was… Erik felt as if he was about to discover something huge, something so important that once he knew it his life would never be the same…
And then the door to the infirmary burst open, breaking the moment. Erik wanted to scream in frustration. He knew he had been on the brink of some discovery and now it was fleeing his mind. He stared at the boy hard, willing himself to remember whatever it was that he was so close to discovering. But it was gone, just out of his grasp and getting farther and farther away each moment. The boy's eyes were staring at the door in something like guilt. Erik couldn't figure out why. Why was the boy feeling guilty about being here? He had saved Erik's life and had brought him back to the world. Erik obviously meant something to him, and though he didn't know what, he knew the boy was something important to him. He had as much right to be here as anyone else and nothing should make him feel guilt about being here. But he was, and as Erik watched, the boy started closing himself off to the world. Erik wanted to cry as within his mind he felt the boy's presence slip away from his own. He wanted to scream. The more the boy shut himself off and repressed Erik, the harder it became for Erik to hold the feeling of discover from before. It was just a faint sense at the very back of his mind. Finally, those blue eyes met his eyes again and Erik wanted to cry. They were completely shut off. It was like looking at steel; they were completely unmoving and had formed a barrier to keep everyone out. Including Erik. And he saw that this wasn't enough. He knew the boy was going to leave just as the other boy thought of it.
"Please don't go," Erik breathed, his eyes begging the boy to stay with him and finish whatever had just almost happened. But he saw the look in the boy's eyes at his words. He looked cornered. And was looking for an escape. So when the boy ripped away from Erik, Erik instinctively tried to grab him back. But it was too late. As soon as the contact broke, the boy shimmered out and disappeared, taking with him Erik's memory of the entire encounter.
Erik lay on the metal table, the cold steel feeling foreign, which was strange. All metal felt like an extension of his body. But at the moment, it felt as though there was a part of him that even metal couldn't fill. A part of him that had recently been discovered and whole and then was violently ripped out. And it hurt. A deep sense of emptiness and despair filled him. His outreached arms fell back to his side and he lay on the table, silently looking up at the ceiling, trying to recall what had just happened. He felt it was imperative he remember. What had happened was so monumental that until he remembered that gaping hole within him would never fill. But every time he tried, his heart would pang and his head hurt. He didn't notice he was crying until the tears hit the table beneath him. Then his whole body began shaking as he sobbed uncontrollably. He heard more than saw Mannschaft rush over to his side and felt him start wiping up his tears. The man was so gentle despite his size. His hands ran soothingly through his hair as he murmured softly to Erik to calm him. Slowly, the sobs subsided. Then the sharp intakes of air turned into hiccups and the tears subsided to a faint watering of his eyes. Mannschaft sat through it all. He stopped speaking when Erik was almost completely composed and simply sat there silently, looking at Erik but not seeing him. Erik knew Mannschaft had questions buzzing around in his head and that he needed to answer them, but he knew the man wouldn't push him till he was ready. And right now, all Erik wanted was to sit in silence. Tomorrow he'd talk to Mannschaft. Tomorrow he'd try to remember. But today, he would just lie here and let his body rest.
End Note: Next chapter we learn about Ms. Anna's past and, coincidentally, Mannschaft's. So if you like those two, be kind and leave reviews. They make me write
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