AN: WARNING! This AN is opinionated and may offended hard-core Rachel fans. Skip to the actual story if you love the Berry.

Kurtsie's audition was beautiful! Really, best performance in a long time. It was so HIM and showed off his flexibility and was sexy and adorable all at once-perfection.

I sympathize with Rachel though; I have gone into an audition knowing the song and being calm and confident and then screwed up when it actually started.

But let's be honest-she wouldn't have gotten in anyway. Rachel sings and cries wonderfully, but she can't dance and put in as much character as Kurt. That boy was born for Broadway! Lea Michele was too, but Rachel just... wasn't.

Am I the only one who noticed Blaine acts like a bro around the guys, and then like a confident, dapper, son-of-a-bitch around the Warblers, and then has no filter around Kurt? Is that just me? Am I insane? Probably.

Poor Beastie. Made me cry so hard, especially the end. :'(

Chapter 17: Choke

Blaine stepped through the door, taking a deep breath. The air was slightly musty, but the underlying scent of the same cleaner Kurt used and the older boy's perfume made a grin spread across his face.

It was strange being here without Kurt. It felt like there was a huge hole in the small building where his boyfriend should be standing. It was far too quiet without him, much too tired looking.

Blaine sighed, flopping down on the couch, allowing the empowered smell Kurt left behind to wash over him.

So there it was-Kurt was as horrible as gone. Blaine was proud of him; Kurt was so talented and special that he deserved every bit of praise he got, but still, it was one step closer to him leaving…

Blaine huffed, pressed his face into a pillow.

None of them got it. Not really. Not even Tina, whose boyfriend was also leaving. Tina had friends here, Tina had a family here.

Sure, Blaine had the guys, but he was always a tad uncomfortable around them. He liked guy stuff like sports and he had played a videogame or two, but he was constantly on edge. He felt like if he let his, well, for lack of a better word, gay show around them they would shun him.

Was the fear irrational? Maybe, but he couldn't take the risk. He had been himself at his old school and they had beat him up, he had been himself around the Warblers and they had thrown a slushie in his face, he had tried to be himself at the beginning of the year and everyone ignored him. So now that he actually had friends again he was playing it safe.

And then there was Blaine's family. His parents wouldn't so much as look at him and when they did it was awkward and uncomfortable. Especially his father, who would take one look at his cloths or hair and snort in disgust. Cooper still ignored his existence most of the time, unless it was to talk about an audition or movie roll Cooper had gotten. He still felt like a stranger in his own home. Need he go on?

He knew-or at least, he thought he knew-that he'd still have Kurt while he was at New York and afterwards, but it wasn't the same as Kurt being with him every day. It could never be the same.

Did Kurt ever have thoughts like that? When the excitement of going to New York and getting into his dream school wore off a little, was Blaine the first thing on his mind?

The curly haired boy had never really asked before. It was strange, yet oddly comforting to think of Kurt having the same dependent thoughts about him.

The sound of the door opening caught his attention and he immediately turned to face his lover as he entered the small cabin, shrugging as his coat as he went. Blaine felt his heart start to flutter, just like always.

"Sorry I'm late," Kurt started, to busy removing one of his many layers to notice Blaine had stood and was making his way over to him. "Rachel was cry-"

Blaine cut him off with a kiss, sliding their tongues together sensually, swallowing a moan that slipped from his boyfriend's perfect pink lips. He un-tucked Kurt's shirt and slip his hands under so he could caress the prominent hip-bones under the milky white skin, sighing into Kurt's mouth at the skin-to-skin contact.

When oxygen became a necessity, they pulled apart, breathing into each other's mouths.

"What was that for?" Kurt asked breathlessly against his lips. "Not that I'm complaining."

Blaine chuckled, nuzzling Kurt's nose with his. "Can't I kiss my amazing boyfriend?"

Kurt got a strange expression on his face, than wrapped Blaine in a hug, pressing the short boy's face to his shoulder. "I'm gonna miss you, baby, kissing you, holding you, talking to you…"

Blaine clutched his hips so hard he was sure it must have been painful, but he didn't really care and it seemed Kurt didn't either. "I'll miss you too."

"I can't believe I'm going to NYADA, though." Kurt squeaked, his voice raiding pitch with excitement.

Blaine smiled, taking a deep breath at Kurt's collar. "I knew you would."

Kurt sighed happily, running a hand through Blaine's curls, freeing them from the gel. "I love you, baby"

"I love you too."