Nothing happened.

The pistol clicked and whirred uselessly in his hand, no matter how much pressure he put on the trigger. A tiny red light blinked in the darkness. The thermal clip was dead. That was not possible. It had been glowing when he set the pistol down before going to sleep. He had only planned to shoot into the air to scare the animal away and hopefully bring help from the camp, but not being able to do that now had him worried. True, he still had his biotics, but using them from inside would be dangerous and going outside blind would also be.

Kaidan had packed several spare clips, but had had no anticipation of needing them in a hurry and they were several feet away in his pack at the entrance of the tent.

Slowly, careful not to make a sound, he reached around Cat and unzipped the sleeping bag. She was humming again and the snuffling had grown less insistent.

As Kaidan eased himself away from her there was a large exhalation of breath and a heavy thump outside. Something indented the side of the tent. Whatever was outside appeared to now be lying down.

Keeping his movement slow and silent, Kaidan edged down, reaching blindly for his pack.

When it was finally in his grasp he reached inside for a thermal clip and paused. Once he punched out the old clip he was committed. The noise was certainly draw the attention of the creature outside and he would be forced to act. So far the animal had only been investigating and didn't appear to be threat except for the fact that Kaidan had no idea what it was. And there was no way that he was going to shoot an animal that was merely curious about something new in its environment. He just wasn't made that way.

As he sat there in the inky, quiet of the night he realized he could hear a new sound. Catherine's strange humming had stopped, along with the green glow emanating from beneath her skin. At first Kaidan thought she was snoring again, but this new sound was deeper and when he listened more closely there was a deep rumbling along with it.

"What the..." Kaidan said out loud before he could catching himself.

The creature outside the tent had gone to sleep and was snoring contentedly within arms reach. Bewildered, Kaidan sat back, his legs over Catherine's and his arms wrapped loosely around his knees, the pistol dangling in his hand.

When the creatures snoring only deepened as time passed, Kaidan began to relax. Catherine shivered in her sleep and he reached up to tuck the sleeping bag back around her. Gently setting the pistol down he pulled his boots and jacket back on and settled in to keep a vigil for the rest of the night.

He must have dozed off at some point because the next thing he knew there was dappled sunlight illuminating the walls of the tent and bird song echoing in the surrounding forest.

At some point in the night Catherine had thrown the sleeping bag off and was lying in such a way that it looked like she was posing as a 1950's pin up. One leg was pulled up so she could tuck her bare foot under her knee and her left arm was thrown up behind her head, her hand tangled in her mess of curls.

Kaidan felt guilty that he had fallen asleep on watch, but clearly nothing had happened and all was well. The bulge in the side of the tent was gone and there were no sounds of anything large moving about outside.

Stretching the stiffness from his back and legs, Kaidan lay down beside Catherine and stroked her cheek until her eyelids fluttered open and she smiled up at him.

"Morning," she said, her voice gravelly with sleep.

"How did you sleep?" he asked her softly.

"Really well." She seemed surprised and Kaidan raised an eyebrow in question. "I was dreaming about the animals yesterday and the last one that I didn't shoot. I was talking to them and I felt so guilty, but it was like they understood."

"Feeling better then?" he asked.

"Much. Physically and emotionally."

Feeling amorous, Kaidan ran a hand up her thigh and leaned down to nuzzle her just below the ear where he knew it would tickle. She giggled and pushed him away.

"Unless you want me to wet myself, don't do that."

"All right," he conceded. "But the alternative is that you let me look at your shoulder."

She fell back in artificial exasperation. "Fine. But hurry up. I really do have to pee."

Smiling tenderly he unzipped her shirt and eased it away from her right shoulder. The damage was less than Kaidan expected. There was still a raised welt, and the whole area was a mess of bluish black and ugly purple, but as a whole it wasn't so bad.

"Doctor Chakwas, was right," he mumbled. "You do heal fast."

"When did she say that?" Catherine asked, confused.

Kaidan cringed mentally, but covered fast. "The day before we left she told me that she thought the synthetics in our bodies were speeding healing. I think she's right."

Catherine bent her head at an awkward angle to examine her injury.

"Looks pretty nasty to me."

"How does it feel?"

Sitting up she lifted her arm, testing its limits. "Pretty good. But it's hard to tell over the hollering of nature."

She scrambled to her feet and crouching low headed for the flap. Crisp, cool morning air rushed in as she shoved it aside and stepped out into the anemic light of the forest floor.

Kaidan rolled to his knees and started bundling up the sleep bag and thin pallet. He hadn't got far when her heard a brief scream from outside and then Catherine's calm voice.

"Uh, Kaidan. Maybe you should come outside."

He grabbed for his pack and in one smooth motion withdrew a thermal clip, slammed it home and exited the tent at a run.

He stopped short when he nearly barreled headlong into Catherine who was facing away from him staring at the trees ahead.

Kaidan raised his pistol and aimed at the large creature hunched before them. Not taking his eyes from it he moved to stand in front of Catherine, but she reached out and lowered his arm with a light touch of her hand.

"I'm pretty sure we're safe," she told him, her voice just above a whisper.

Kaidan guessed that this was what had been sleeping beside their tent last night. It was a smaller, more tan version of the creatures they had killed yesterday. It's fur was streaked with bits of green and grey, and it stood only a meter tall compared to the monstrous sizes of its kin, but the stubby ears, wide spaced eyes and sloping hind quarters were unmistakable.

It was standing on clawed feet, so much like those of a bear, and shifting nervously side to side, looking at them out of the corners of its black eyes. As they watched its mouth opened to revealed thick, flat teeth, the kind meant for chewing plant matter, and it let out a plaintive cry. The same cry Kaidan had heard the night before.

In the eerie gloom of the night Kaidan's mind had filled in the blanks and told him it sounded like a child, and while it did have a mournful tone to it, the cry was definitely more animal than human.

"I think it's the young one I didn't shoot yesterday," Catherine said as she crouched down and held a hand out to the frightened creature.

She put her other hand on Kaidan's leg and pushed him backwards. He took a few steps but refused to go any further. He could only watch in amazement as the animal slowly crept forward to sniff Catherine outstretched hand.

It's face was very much like that of a sloth only not quite so flat. It had a big, black nose like a koalas and its muzzle was longer, more like a dogs. Years of space travel and excursions to garden worlds gave Kaidan a pretty wide range of aliens for comparison, and if pressed he would say that this ones body shape reminded him most of an elcor. Long, muscles forelimbs and squat, powerful rear legs.

Catherine was down on both knees now with the animal right in her face, sniffing her and making muffled grunting sounds.

"I think it likes you," he told her.

"I think it's a baby," Catherine said with wonder. "Must have got separated from the herd yesterday. This is what I heard last night."

"Well, we don't want it imprint on you," Kaidan said, neglecting to tell her about its presence the night before.

"If the herd was still around they would have found it by now, or it them," Catherine said, now rubbing the animals ears while it rumbled with pleasure. "I can't just leave it here."

"Not sure you have much of a choice," Kaidan said. He crouched down and put his hand out to the creature which nudged him once and then turned back to Catherine. "We have to get a move on."

Catherine sighed. "You're right. Sorry, little guy. Hope you find your family."

They stood and the animal looked up at them expectantly. When they turned to go back to the tent it followed then and lowered to its hunches to watch them pack up. Kaidan could tell Catherine was watching it the entire time.

Their gear all stowed and packs over their shoulders, Kaidan started to look for a way up the hill. It didn't take long to find a game trail about fifty meters to the east of them. He called to Catherine to who had gone looking in the other direction and she appeared from the underbrush with the alien close on her heels.

"I think I've found a pet," she said with a pleased smile.

"Cat, we can't bring it with us." Kaidan tried to look disapproving, but Catherine didn't fall for it.

"Okay, first, I'm not sure we can stop it." She reached down and put her hand on the animals head. "Secondly, why not? Its not a predator and its obviously friendly. Would it really hurt to let it follow?"

She had a point. The young beast did not appear to pose a threat of any kind and Kaidan had no idea how they would stop it from following them anyway. There was only one reason he could come up with to convince her, and himself, to leave it behind.

"How are we going to feed it?"

Catherine eyes fell and she thought for a moment. "Well, like I said, we can't much stop it from coming with us if it wants to. So, I'll just keep an eye on it. Watch what it eats as we go. If it's the grazer I think it is then I doubt there will be an issue feeding it."

"What if it's also the baby you think it is and it still needs its mother's milk? What then?"

Catherine threw her arms up in the air. "Kaidan, why are we even arguing? We've already established it's probably going to follow us so let's just go and see what happens."

She was right. Standing around arguing would answer none of their questions. He nodded and earned a kiss before they set off up the well used game trail. As it turned out they were barely a hundred meters from the main camp which explained why Adams had found them so easily the night before.

A few tents were still up, but for the most part it looked like everyone was ready to hit the trail. Adams turned from the fire as they approached and gave them a wave. Catherine's new friend exhibited no fear at all and galloped right up to Adams who scrambled for his pistol.

When he heard Catherine laughing he settled down and touched the animal tentatively on the top of the head.

"I see you've made a friend," he said as the animal ran back to Catherine, nearly knocking her over as it hit her in the shins, rubbing its head vigorously on her knees.

"You funny little bugger," she got down on her knees again, oblivious to Adams.

"That's what she went into the forest looking for last night," Kaidan explained to the people who had gathered to look at the animal currently molesting Catherine with its long grey tongue all over her face. "I think it's coming with us whether we like it or not."

Catherine was now letting people come closer so it could sniff hands and learn who was friendly. Before long it was wandering around the camp to explore for a few minutes at a time before running back to Catherine's side. It was like watching a baby animal with its mother.

Kaidan felt a pang of longing as he watched Catherine coddle and coo over the creature. He'd been waiting for just the right time to bring up the topic of children with her and maybe the appearance of this new pet would present just the opening he needed.

Had they been on Earth, or anywhere else for that matter, he would feel crazy mentioning the 'c' word so early in their relationship, but neither of them were getting any younger and if they wanted to contribute to the survival of following generations they had to at least talk about the possibility.

As Catherine predicted the creature stayed close to her as they travelled. The going was tough and it took them nearly three hours just to back to the rock ledge where they had first spotted the herd from. They broke to rest and Catherine was thrilled to point out to Kaidan that her pet had been foraging the entire way.

It seemed used to eating on the move and had grabbed mouthfuls of leaves and grass, chewing endlessly as they walked. Everything appeared to be on the menu, from the prickly sedge like grass along the edge of the game trail, to the tough leathery leaves of deciduous evergreens growing low to the ground.

Kaidan didn't see it being left behind now and if he was being honest with himself, he couldn't say he was sorry. People would be excited to have a pet around the settlement, though it was clear that this one was going to belong to Catherine and only Catherine.

After several more hours of hiking, they made another pit stop, still a fair distance from home. Catherine had amazed them all yet again when a flock of birds had erupted from a nearby bush and she pulled her pistol and shot down four in the blink of an eye.

They hadn't planned to make anymore kills having had a call from EDI telling them that their storage was nearly at capacity after the butchering of yesterdays prey. But Catherine had made the point that they could cook the birds that night and bring only the feather back to add to their growing stock pile for winter coats and blankets.

If the alien had been bothered by the firing of the pistol it didn't show it. It sat calmly by Catherine's side as she holstered the weapon and then tied the legs of the fowl together with a length of vine and slung them over her shoulder.

Nearing sundown they were still a few clicks from home and the path was too steep to be walked in the dark, especially considering how tired they all were. When they picked a spot and set up camp, it was Catherine who got to work plucking the feathers from the birds. It was a tedious task and more feathers seemed to float away in the breeze than made it into the canvas sack at her feet.

Adams sharpened a pair of sticks and they spit the birds over the newly crackling fire, everyone taking turns to slowly rotate them over the flames. The night was cold higher up in the hills and they sat close together around the heat source, eagerly awaiting the meat as it dripped and sizzled on the burning logs.

Catherine and Kaidan sat together against a rock with their sleeping bag fully unzipped and cast over their legs. Bug, as Catherine had taken to calling the creature, lay her side with its head resting on her thigh. She stroked it absently mindedly, a little smile on face, as she stared into the flames.

Kaidan was day dreaming as well, thinking back to his childhood on Earth and camping trips with his dad in the unsullied days before his biotic abilities had started to reveal themselves. He was snapped back to reality by the sound of Catherine's voice.

"Sorry, what did you say?" He turned to her to find that she was still gazing into the dancing flames, her eyes unfocused.

"I didn't say anything."

He had definitely heard her say something. Had she been talking to herself again? Rather than calling her on it, Kaidan decided to try a new approach.

"Whatcha thinking about?"

She stretched her arms out in front of herself and yawned. "Nothing really. Just... feeling."

"Feeling, eh?"

"Yeah, something we womenfolk do from time to time," she ripped. "Just examine our emotions."

Kaidan laughed. "And how do you feel tonight?"

"Happy," she said simply. "Contented."

Kaidan nodded but said nothing else. He thought back to the other times he'd caught Catherine talking to herself and realized that each time they had been relaxed and surrounded by friends. It couldn't be all bad if those were the occasions that prompted her strange new habit.

When their food was ready Kaidan made her stay put while he put a plate together for her. Adams raised his glass in toast and the dedicated it to her. Instead of shying away from the praise as she had the night before, Catherine accepted it with humble gratitude.

They had a spat when the time came to crawl into their tent and Catherine tried to lead Bug in after her. There was no way Kaidan was sharing a tent meant for one person with an animal of that size, but Catherine was adamant and eventually got her way.

Annoyed with each other, they slept in separate sleeping bags yet ended up smushed together when Bug stretched out beside Catherine. But ever the peacemaker, Kaidan kept his complaints to himself since it was only for one night. He would be drawing the line if Catherine tried to bring it into the house. If she wanted to sleep with the alien she could invite it into her own house.

The hike back to the camp was quiet, everyone just eager to get home and wash off the grit and grime of the trail. By noon they had arrived to find the settlement a buzz of activity. Liara was directing work around the fire pit and it did Kaidan good to see her so energized and lifelike again.

Catherine immediately began introducing her new companion to everyone while Kaidan went to see what exactly Liara was up to. At the fire pit he found the massive hides of the three dead animals stretched out on upright frames to undergo treatment.

Teams of four were working at each frame, two people scraping the leather clean of flesh and muscle on the inside and two people clipping away the thick pelt on the outside.

Kaidan came up beside Liara and peered over her shoulder at the datapad she was holding.

"So you found something useful in what Hackett sent, eh?"

"Kaidan, I'm glad you're back," Liara said with a smile that made her seem more like herself. "As soon as EDI told me what Steve was bring back I looked up everything I could on using animal pelts to make cloth. It's a very different process to the scaly hides we've dealt with so far."

"I'm assuming you've found a way to use the fur since you're cutting it all off?"

"Yes," Liara said animatedly. "I've discovered a process called felting. These creatures appear to have fur very much like that of an Earth animal called a sheep and-"

"I know what sheep are," Kaidan said amusedly.

"Of course you do," Liara said with a blush. "Then you know what felting is?"

"Now that I don't know. Enlighten me," Kaidan encouraged.

"It's going to be a long process and it will likely take several days for just the first step," Liara explained. "First the wool has to be picked. Basically this means pulling at the clumps until it is a loose mass. This will also remove much of larger pieces of dirt and debris."

"That's going to be a tedious job," Kaidan commented. "Good thing Joker managed to salvage his movie collection. Whoever gets stuck doing that will need the entertainment."

Liara continued as if Kaidan hadn't even spoken. "The next part is going to be the most challenging. The wool will need to be washed in water that's at least 50 degrees Celsius. Now, we can do the wool in batches, but I'm not sure that we can heat that volume of water. Most components of the ship were designed to mitigate heat, not create it."

"I'm sure we'll figure something out," Kaidan put in during the small gap where Liara paused to draw breath.

"Luckily we have no shortage of soap and sodium bicarbonate so once we do manage to heat the water the washing will take no time at all. Once it dries we have a more grueling task to deal with. The wool must be laid out in layers with the strands of hair alternating direction with each tier. The wool must be sandwiched between two layers of a material that it will not stick to and soap and water lightly poured on it before it's rolled up. Then it must be rolled and pressed to condense the layers and mat to together."

"It doesn't sound like this is going to make a whole lot of fabric in the end," Kaidan opined.

"Felting can produce a variety of densities of fabric." Liara handed him the datapad at last. "I think you will agree that with one child already here and at least five more on the way, diapers are the priority. If we make the softest type of felt we can it will produce enough fabric for ten diapers for each child as well as small blankets and mattress covers."

Kaidan stood back and crossed his arms with the datapad tucked in his armpit. "You have put a lot of thought into this, haven't you."

Liara looked at the sky and back at Kaidan with a sad smile. "It's been good to have something to do. If it's all right with you I would like to see this project through to completion."

"Sure thing, Liara," Kaidan put a hand on her shoulder and handed her the datapad back. "You just let me know what you need and we'll make sure you have it."

He left Liara to continue overseeing the preparation of the hides and went to find Garrus. The turian was essentially his second in command, and if there was anything important to share he would know it.

The construction on the hall had some along way in the two short days he'd been away, and to Kaidan's eye it looked near complete on the outside. The cold cellar had disappeared under a mound of soil and the doors had been fitted over the entrance.

They would have to come up with some projects to work on over winter or there were going to be cases of cabin fever all around. While it would be nice to live at a more relaxing pace for a few months, the winter nights were long and there was only so much that could be worked on in the hall since most of the electronics and other tech had been put to use.

As Kaidan rounded the corner of the hall he heard voices coming from just inside the door. It was James and Cat and they were talking in hushed tones that made their conversation seem clandestine and too private for mere friends.

Kaidan wasn't typically one to eavesdrop, but something stopped him and he leaned on the wall to listen in.

"I don't know how to bring it up, James," came Catherine's voice. She sounded worried.

"It's not like he's a tough guy to talk to, Catnip," James said. "Just sit him down and tell him. He'll get it. I got it didn't I?"

"Yeah, but it didn't matter if you got it or not," Catherine hissed. "What happened between us was just a fling."

"Does he know?" James asked.

"No, and I'm not going to tell him," Catherine said firmly. "It has no bearing on anything."

"Oh gee, thanks," James said with a slight laugh. "You know Morgan knows, eh?"

"Morgan is my best friend, Jimmy," Catherine dismissively. "Of course I know she knows."

Kaidan couldn't take any more. He couldn't stand there and listen to Catherine reveal that she had lied to him about her past, about how long it had been for her. His fist tightened and his jaw clenched. How long age had this been? How had he not known about it?

He stood there frozen, unable to react. Half of him wanted to storm around the corner and confront the two of them. The other half wanted to run away and hide, maybe even pretend he hadn't hear what he did.

Before he could make a choice either way the decision was made for him when Catherine came out the door followed by James. She froze on the spot, looking panicked before her ever present smile returned and she went to touch his arm.

He pulled away and managed to get one word out. "Why?"

James swore and Catherine said calmly that she could explain, but Kaidan didn't want to hear any of it. He turned and stalked away down the path between the houses.

Catherine called after him and he heard James tell her to stay put. There were footsteps on the path and James yelled at him.

"Get back here, Alenko. Don't be a baby."

Kaidan kept going until he reach the door of his house and slammed it behind him. But the closed door didn't stop James. He barged right in and slammed it again.

"Kaidan, I don't know how much of that you heard, but what happened between me and Cat was ages ago and meant nothing," James told him calmly, as if he was commenting on something as pedestrian as the weather.

"When was this? Here or on the Normandy?" Kaidan asked, morbid curiosity driving him more than anything else.

"On the Normandy, before you even joined up with us," James said.

"Then why did she tell me that it had been four years since the last time she'd had sex?" Kaidan demanded, trying to keep his anger under control.

"Okay, you'll have to ask her for the girly explanation, but from what I translated from her conversation with Morgan was that sex for sex is a different thing than sex for love or whatever." James looked awkward trying to explain this concept.

"Sex is sex," Kaidan spat.

"Yeah, that what I said, but I was told to shut up."

Kaidan didn't reply. He felt hurt and betrayed. He didn't care so much that it had happened, in fact he had no right to be mad about that at all. It was the fact that Catherine had flat out lied to him.

"Seriously man," James said, misunderstanding the reason for Kaidan's silence. "It was just sex. Stress relieving, kinda angry sex. Like when guys duke it out to let off some steam, only... steamier."

"That does not help, Vega," Kaidan said as he started to pace the floor at the foot of his bed. "Besides, I don't care that you guy had a relationship of any kind. I'm pissed that she told me she hadn't gotten laid in four years."

"Okay, well I can't explain that part," James admitted. "But is it really that big a deal? So she fibbed a little. It has been years now since it happened."

Kaidan sighed, hearing the logic in James' words, but not ready to accept them. It was natural to react strongly to knowledge of a partners previous sexual experience. Human were a strange mix of primal needs in that department. A compulsion to experiment and act on need and pleasure clashing with an innate desire for monogamy and commitment.

It was hard to tell whether his anger was due to the natural instinct to feel possession of a sexual partner, or the learned hatred of being lied to. But James was right. There were big lies and there were little lies, and the truth was, this lie was relatively small. But it brought doubt into Kaidan's mind. Made him question other things she had told.

James interrupted his thoughts. "You get that no matter why she told you what she did, she didn't do it to hurt you. That girl is stupid in love with you."

Kaidan stopped pacing and sat down on the end of the bed and hung his head.

"I know that James. It was just a gut reaction," he sighed. "I just don't get why she would lie about it."

"Hey, well on the up side," James said with a saucy grin. "Now I can give you a manly slap on the back and say that girl is a fucking filthy hot mess, eh."

Kaidan looked at him, his face saying What the fuck loud and clear.

"Too soon?"

"Just a little," Kaidan said bluntly.

"K, I'm going to leave now, but if you don't talk to Cat I am going to come back here and drag you out. I don't want another silent war between you two."

James left and two minutes hadn't passed before there was a soft rapping at the door. Kaidan didn't reply, but it didn't matter. Catherine slipped in followed closely by Bug.

She crossed the small area between door and bed and sat down beside him while Bug snuffled around the room. But she didn't say anything. She just sat there, her hand in her lap and her thigh barely brushing his.

"What the hell, Cat," he finally managed.

"I'm so sorry, Kaidan," she cried, grabbing his hands at last. "But you are going to laugh when I explain this."

"Somehow I doubt that," he grumbled.

"Keep an open mind on that front," she said and then took a deep breath. "I forgot."

"You forgot?" Kaidan asked, baffled. "What do you mean?"

"When you asked how long it had been I forgot about James and by the time I realized, the topic had changed and I didn't know how to bring it up again."

Kaidan stared at her. He found that statement incredibly difficult to believe. Sex for Kaidan wasn't a casual thing. Including Catherine, he'd only slept with five people and he'd forgotten none of them. Finding out that Catherine was more promiscuous didn't sit well with him, regardless of the fact that he understood.

"How do you just forget that you slept with someone?" Kaidan said more angrily than he meant to.

"I don't know, Kaidan," Catherine said exasperatedly. "Because it was just sex. It's not like we were in love or anything."

She stopped there and pulled away from him. "That's the issue, isn't it? Look, Kaidan, I know you feel really strongly about sex, but it's not fair to put those same values on anyone else."

"Even if I feel like this belittles what happens between us?"

"Yes," Catherine said forcefully. "Even if you think it belittles us. Because that's crazy and you know it. Excuse my vulgarity, but what James and I did was fuck. That's it. It wasn't even for fun. Just to ease stress. What I do with you is so much more."

Kaidan didn't look at her. He was trying to process what she was saying. His brain trying to convince his heart of the truth and logic of what she said.

Catherine leaned in and took his hand again, speaking more softly now. "You guys went out and fought battles all the time while the rest of us were stuck on the ship feeling useless and angry with no way to relieve out anxiety. I had sex with James to erase the emotions. I wanted to not feel what was going on. What I do with you, Kaid... It's the result of emotion too, but coupled with the desire to feel more. It's not just the act itself. It's the anticipation, the passion, and the afterglow."

"I get it, Cat," Kaidan said. "Really, I do. I'm just trying to reconcile myself to the fact that you get it as more than just a concept."

"It's not as if it's something I did on a regular basis," she said defensively. "In fact he's the only one it ever happened with and I think we can both agree the circumstances were unique."

"Tell me how it happened," Kaidan said.

"Really?"

"Not if it makes you uncomfortable," he said. "But it will help me understand."

"All right." She pulled herself up onto the bed and leaned against the wall. Bug jumped up with her and Kaidan couldn't be bothered to protest.

"It was just after Palaven. We all saw the footage of the planet. It was... beyond disturbing. I couldn't sleep so that night I went down to the shuttle bay to walk around. It was the quietest, emptiest place on the ship. James was the only one down there. He was on middle watch and should have been on patrol, but Shepard told him to take the night off. Palaven messed with his head a lot more than he admitted. Anyway, I sat down and we talked and one thing lead to another and there was nudity and gratuitous sex and that's the whole story."

"But it happened more than once," Kaidan pointed out.

"A few times, yes, but it was all over by the time you joined us," Catherine said emphatically.

"Why did it end?"

Catherine shrugged. "He came to find me in the lounge one night and instead of taking off our clothes we just talked."

"Sounds like it was more than just sex at that point," Kaidan said accusatorily.

"Yeah, it was," Catherine admitted. "By then we were friends. And maybe that's why the sex stopped. Or maybe it was because I saw you again. I don't know. The point is that James and I are close, but not in the way I'm close with you. Any other deeply personal questions you'd like to ask," Catherine asked sharply.

Kaidan knew he was out of line. One way or another, if she didn't want to tell him about James, she had no obligation to. He was sure she'd already revealed more than she wanted to. He wouldn't press her any more on that subject. But the beginning of the conversation he'd overheard still had him feeling dobutful.

"If you don't want to talk about whatever it is now, I understand, but what were you asking James for advice about?"

A worried look passed across her face and she began to wring her hands. Kaidan didn't like where this was going.

"I never wanted kids, Kaidan. Ever. I underwent voluntary reversible sterilization back on Earth. Now that we're here I know there is a need for a second generation, but without the right equipment, Doctor Chakwas isn't sure she can reverse it."

Kaidan was stunned. He knew a lot of Alliance soldiers underwent VRS, but he'd never imagined that Catherine had. She wasn't a soldier. She was a technician. She served planet side and had only ended up on the Normandy because that's where she'd been when the Reapers hit.

"So, you can't have kids?" Kaidan asked quietly, barely trusting his voice.

"Not at the moment," Catherine said. "And I know you want them so I went to Karin last week and she said she and EDI are going to look into alternate ways to reverse the procedure, but she isn't hopeful."

"Cat, I don't know what to say," Kaidan whispered. "Why were you even talking to James about kids?"

"Because he's my friend and I needed a guy's opinion," she said in justification. "I didn't know how to tell you in a way that you would understand."

"You really never wanted kids?"

Catherine shook her head.

"And what about now?" Kaidan couldn't help but wonder if maybe she was glad that she was sterile.

"Well, things have changed, haven't they," she said. "I went to Karin, didn't I?"

"That doesn't answer my question," Kaidan stared at her hard.

She moved away from the wall and knelt on the bed beside him, taking his face in her hands and smiling warmly.

"I know you want kids," she said emphatically. "And I know children are an imperative now. If Karin can fix this, I will happily have your children, Kaidan."

Kaidan pulled away from her and stood. She still had not answered his question.

"Catherine, having kids shouldn't be a duty or... an responsibility. If we have kids I want it to be because you want them just as much as I do."

"Kaidan, my reasons for not wanting children are almost entirely negated simply by being here. I didn't want my lifestyle to change. I didn't want to lose my chance to travel, to visit other places. Those simply aren't options anymore and so I have re-evaluate my decisions. I'm still working out how I feel about the possibility, but I'm not going to be selfish and say never. Be fair Kaidan. I made this decision years before I ever even dreamed I would see you again, and now that I have you every spare thought has gone towards considering the idea of kids."

Her voice was cracking and her eyes were brimming with tears. Kaidan couldn't tell if she was angry, hurt or just plain upset, but he guess it was probably a combination of all of the above.

Kaidan realized he was the one being selfish in this situation. Catherine had been honest and straight forward with him. And she was willing to make a massive lifestyle change to please him. He had no reason to pull away and give her the cold shoulder. Yet, at the same time he'd hoped this conversation to go a very different and he was going to need time to process that.

"I know you're a thinker, Kaid," she said, coming to his side and taking his hand. "I'll talk as much as you want whenever you want, but please, do talk to me at some point. I'll leave you alone now. Let me know if you want me to came back tonight."

Bug leapt off the bed and trailed after her as she left the house. Feeling a horrible combination of hurt, betrayal, anger and confusion, Kaidan left the house as well. He had a lot to think about.