AUTHOR'S NOTE: OK, so here's the deal. I'm FINALLY finished with this nightmare of a semester (for the most part...still some days left, but all of the hard work is in the past!), so I can finally get back to writing this. I have missed it TREMENDOUSLY. I can't wait to finish it and move on to the other two stories I started a few months ago. Anyway, this is a VERY short chapter. I was eager to get back to writing, but I wanted to put something out just to let you guys know that the story's still here and I haven't abandoned it. It's very short, nothing really happens, but I just wanted to post SOMETHING. The next big update will be coming within a week, guys, I PROMISE! Thanks to all of you who messaged and what-not while the story was on hiatus. Nice to know you all are still out there and waiting!

CHAPTER 24

Logan slowly twist the doorknob of Apartment 2J. The Palm Woods was eerily quiet tonight. Of course, it was late, but the only thing going through his mind was that something horrible had happened.

Something horrible did happen, he reminded himself. Jo killed herself. She didn't just "try" to do it; she actually did it!

He knew that at any minute, he'd be getting the call from Kendall letting him know that Jo was dead and that it was both their faults and that it was only proof that they shouldn't be together, that being "happy" and "normal" was what they were supposed to be all along.

The apartment was just as still as the rest of the building. He suspected Mrs. Knight was at the hospital, so the pain of facing her could be avoided. If Carlos and James were at home, he hoped they were asleep so that he could just slip into his room and go to sleep as well. Heh. As if he'd ever get to that point. No, he'd lie awake in his bed, staring at the other side of the room, trying his hardest to relive the feeling of rhapsody that had been making love to Kendall. He felt a weird combination of brave and bold and stupid for wanting to fuck Kendall instead of the other way around. He needed Kendall in him...he needed to feel like Kendall owned him, like Kendall would protect him and take care of him and be his rock. As incredible it felt to be in Kendall and to take charge, he knew that it wouldn't really feel real at all until he had Kendall in him.

You're thinking of this as his girlfriend lies dying in the hospital, he scolded himself, feeling filthy and bad.

He went into their room and quietly closed the door behind him. His shower had left him feeling fresh and clean, but he was just so tired and weak after everything that had happened in the previous few hours. He decided to just collapse onto his bed without changing clothes or even turning on the light, but when he fell, it wasn't the mattress that he hit.

"Ow! Shit!"

"Carlos!" Logan exclaimed, scared out of his skin. "What are you doing here? Why are you in my bed?"

He bounced back up and went for the light switch. There was Carlos, curled up in a ball on his bed, shaking the sleep out of his eyes.

"I don't know," he sighed, shaking his head. "I..."

"What the hell!" Logan spat, trying to work up some anger, trying to direct all of the negative feelings he'd been feeling about this whole situation at something tangible. "Get up!"

Suddenly, James was barging into the room, and Logan was even more pissed. "Oh my God, really? Can I get any kind of privacy around here?" he asked.

"Dude," James began, as he placed a stabilizing arm on Logan's shoulder. "Just chill out. He fell asleep there, and I decided not to wake him up. I was going to tell you when you got home, but I didn't hear you."

"Because I was trying to stay quiet," Logan retorted. "I was trying to respect you guys, but clearly, you have no respect for me."

James and Carlos exchanged a look over Logan's shoulder, as if they were getting even more evidence that they could use in their investigation into whatever it was they thought they were finding out.

"What were you even doing in here in the first place? From the very beginning, the rule has been that no one goes into someone else's room without permission from that someone else."

"Yeah, well, we kinda thought that this was sort of an emergency, and if you shut up and listen for a minute, you'll understand why," James replied, getting firm. "Something happened with Jo."

Logan quieted down and turned away from him, pretending to suddenly care all about the way his trophies were lined up on his nightstand. "I know."

"You do?" Carlos asked as he slid out of the bed and onto his feet.

"Yes."

"Well then you know how crazy the whole thing is!" Carlos replied.

James shut Carlos up with a quick jab to the arm. "How do you know?" he asked Logan.

Logan sighed and answered carefully. "Kendall is my best friend, you know," he said petulantly. "He does tell me everything, you know."

"You were with him when he found out, weren't you?" James asked in a straight-forward, controlled voice, determined to finally get some real answers. It wasn't the fact that they might have been sleeping together or just seeing each other...it was the fact that Logan wouldn't just come right out and say it.

Logan's eyes darted around for an answer. What was James trying to imply?

"Yeah, we...we were at a party. Look, what does any of this have to do with the fact that the two of you were in my room?"

"When we found out about Jo," Carlos began, "the police wanted to know if there was any reason why she might have...you know...done what she did. They wanted to know if maybe she and Kendall were having problems, so Mrs. Knight told us to search his side of the room."

"Yes," James added. "Carlos didn't want to, so he sat and watched while I did, and he sorta fell asleep in your bed."

"Oh," Logan replied. He lined his trophies up perfectly. All academic prizes, of course, and two hockey ones. "Well..."

They stood in silence for a while. Logan's back was still turned to the others, and he felt that the second he faced them, their eyes would scald him like boiling hot water, making him disintegrate into nothingness. Carlos and James were too busy making faces at each other, though, trying to figure out the best way to keep going with this golden opportunity they had to get the truth. Carlos shook his head, not wanting to push Logan at this moment, but James was adamant.

"Are there...any reasons...that you know of...for why Jo would do something like this...?" he asked choppily, hoping that Logan would bite.

Logan took a deep, deep inhale and a slow, slow exhale. "I don't know." He then turned to them. "Look, guys, I don't want to talk about it. It's depressing enough as it is...and I don't think Kendall would appreciate us sitting here, talking about him behind his back like this. Tomorrow, we'll probably find out that it was all a big accident, right?"

"I don't know," Carlos said. "You didn't see the cuts-" But James stopped him from speaking.

"You know what? You're right," James said to Logan. "You're absolutely right. Why don't you get yourself some sleep, we'll go and get ourselves some sleep, and in the morning, it'll be a brand new day."

"Good. Good...I'm glad you see it my way."

James led Carlos out of the room, closing the door behind them, and Logan hit the light switch. He plopped down on the bed and tried to force every ounce of tension out of his body, but that wasn't happening. He got onto his back, closed his eyes and prayed for unconsciousness.

There had been something about James's questions. It had felt like he'd known exactly what was going on and exactly why Jo'd done what she'd done and where Logan and Kendall had been when they'd found out about it. But before Logan could think too much about it, his prayers came true, and he was soon snoring softly in his empty room. But the room didn't feel too empty to him. Though Kendall was miles away, he could still feel him...he could smell him on his own clothes...and he could still taste him on his own lips.

Torment was once again in Kendall Knight's life. No, tonight couldn't have just ended with him and Logan making love and falling asleep in each other's arms. No, it couldn't have just been the beginning of a whole new life for him. Oh, no. No, no, no. There had to be drama. There had to be stress. There had to be shit for him to deal with. And he hated it.

He was perched on a chair next to Jo's bed. Her EKG beeped constantly and clearly as a reminder that she wasn't going anywhere. Each beep was separate and strong on its own, and each beep pierced his eardrums.

Of course, he shouldn't have been the least bit surprised that he was here and that this was the situation. She'd always said she would kill herself if he left her. Well, she had reason to believe he was going to leave her, and here she was, deep gashes in her wrists. She wasn't dead - beep! beep! beep! beep! - but her face was devoid of color, her hair wrapped up in a bandana, and her lips dry and cracked. It was his worst nightmare come true.

His mother returned to the room with a small cup of coffee. She sat next to him and rubbed his back, holding the cup to his mouth.

"She's so beautiful," she whispered as she watched Jo's peaceful body.

"I know," Kendall agreed.

But I hurt her, he thought. I hurt her just like she knew I would.

He didn't know who to hate or blame, or if there was anyone to be hated or blamed. Whose fault was this? Maybe it was his, for not asserting himself and being honest with her from the beginning. If he'd told her at the start that he needed to be with her because he needed to take his mind away from the boy he loved, then maybe she would have found a guy who really loved her for her, and she wouldn't be in this mess. Maybe it was Logan's fault for being so persistent, for not being strong enough to find a girl and stick with her through thick and thin, even when his feelings for Kendall got to be so strong and unmanageable that he just needed to kiss him every once and a while to calm down. Or maybe it was Jo's own fault. Maybe if she wasn't so selfish and insecure...

He knew that she knew. He just knew that the whole reason why she did this was because she found out. Maybe she saw them on the beach or maybe that damn Trey Donato told her. But somehow, she knew, and he knew that whenever she woke up, he would have to face the music. He'd have to own up to who he was and also what he'd done to her.

But, as he began to fall asleep in his mother's arms, all he could think about was being with Logan...the feeling of Logan in his arms...Logan's masculinity as it filled him...Logan's sensitivity as it purred softly under his touch...Logan's shining eyes as they smiled at Kendall...Logan's sweet, wet kisses...the feeling of Kendall's own heart as it beat out of his chest...the assurance and certainty that Logan would always be there for him no matter what.

I love him, he thought. And he loves me.

NOTE: Now, who in their right mind would want to be in Kendall's shoes right now? We know who wants to be in his pants, and we know who's in his heart, but what decisions is he going to make when push comes to shove? Jo's gotta wake up some time...and when she does, what is she going to do?