Darkest Hour:
An Until Dawn Collaboration
Chapter 9:
Undeniable
Josh & Hannah - Washington Residence - 9:50 pm
"She got mad at me again. I don't know why."
Hannah cocked an eyebrow, peering at Josh over her playing cards. They hadn't played Go Fish in quite some time, but it was always their go-to game. So for that reason, it was what Josh wanted to do. Hannah was just happy he took initiative in spending any time with her at all… She'd tried a few times but he seemed aloof.
Avoidant.
And even when she tried to talk to him, he wouldn't look directly at his sister's face. It was as though every time he looked at her he saw a monster.
"You have no idea? None at all?"
"Nope."
"Hmm…" Hannah was not quite sure how to respond. This was such a rare moment for the two of them since he'd gotten back. On the most part, he'd kept his distance and she let him. While he'd had to spend weeks in the hospital after the whole ordeal to get his meds regulated, Hannah had turned down her psych evaluation - at the time, she just wanted to go home. And no one could blame her.
But she got a choice. Josh didn't.
She didn't want to say anything to scare him off or ruin their time together, so she simply asked, "do you have an ...ace?"
Josh eyed his cards before he begrudgingly handed over an Ace of Clubs.
"Do you have any-"
"Slow your roll, turbo. I got a match, I get to go again."
Hannah was winning. Hannah always won this game against Josh growing up… she knew he let her win.
"Do you have a seven?" she asked. Josh sort of growled and tossed her another card. It glided over the table and onto her lap - Balto cocked his head to the side from his bed a few feet away to make sure Hannah wasn't being threatened. "It's okay, Balto," Hannah giggled, trying to reassure the pop Josh was no danger. Once he realized she was fine, he laid back down on his crossed paws, although his glare never left Josh. He was definitely keeping an eye on him.
Curiosity swirled in Hannah's head about what he'd said to Sam, though. In fact, where the hell was Sam? She had been by her side non-stop after the events on the mountain, and how it seemed her best friend was MIA - she didn't come over the night before and hadn't responded to any of Hannah's texts. She had to assume it had to do with Josh being home… not that she could entirely blame her.
And although she knew she if she reached out she could get the story from Sam, she wanted to hear it from him. And he brought it up, so clearly he wanted to talk about it.
"So… you can't think of what you might have done to Sam to make her mad?" Josh's seriously concentrated face cracked a bit of a devious smile as he thought about what he'd done to get Sam all riled up this time. "Josh, that is not the face of an innocent man," Hannah pointed out. He shook his head but his eyes were focused somewhere behind her. She turned slightly to see the TV he was looking at - it was the news, on mute.
She hated that he still wouldn't look at her.
"It's gonna sound worse than it actually was," he finally droned, humorously.
"Spill, Josh. How did you piss her off this time? You know she's having a hard time. Why must you antagonize my best friend?" Josh's eyes suddenly glazed over, wide-eyed and intense, past Hannah. Almost looking at her, but not quite.
She could tell by the look on his face he was about to cut their time short and it made her stomach hurt. She'd seen snippets of Josh acting like his normal old self - like the day before with Chris - but he really hadn't come back to her yet. It was almost as though he were afraid of her.
She had tried to be patient, but she didn't have Beth anymore. Here was her brother, alive and breathing in front of her and he might as well have been with Beth down in that mine.
"This game is more fun with three people. I don't think I want to play anymore." Josh said this almost robotically. Hannah knew he was probably thinking about all the times the three Washington siblings would play Go Fish while they were camping or just bored on a rainy weekend. It used to be all the time when they were younger, but as they grew,the games had become fewer and further between. The last time she recalled playing was the day she and Beth got into that major fight over Mike.
Hannah stood when Josh did, reaching her hand out to stop him. "Josh, wait," she implored. He froze, but his gaze still refused to meet hers. "Josh. I-I know you're having a really hard time seeing me… and I know you're trying but… please look at me."
Josh closed his eyes tightly, squeezing the bridge of his nose between his eyes. They hadn't been home for too long yet - Josh was due back into therapy and she'd at least seen a huge difference since he was now on the correct medications. Even still, it hurt to have him be so different than the brother she remembered.
And part of his brokenness was because of her running out into that snowstorm.
"Please, Josh…" The tears came unexpectedly and with no warning. Suddenly they were just there: a sob caught in her throat and watering eyes. She didn't realize until she'd actually said it how badly she wanted him to look at her. Needed it. He opened his eyes. They still would not focus on her face.
"It's just… I pictured you so differently in my head for so long. You'd look normal to me at first, like you were really there, but then you'd change into something… scary. You'd say horrible things to me and…" Josh got himself worked up, his breathing becoming more ragged. Hannah felt the tears spill over.
"I know but Josh that wasn't me," she choked. "It wasn't real. It was in your head..."
"Like, I know that it wasn't real now, but it still feels real…sometimes..." Josh struggled to explain. Hannah wished she could say she understood - she didn't though. She figured Josh would be ecstatic to have his sister back. She had no idea it would affect him this way.
Even though she was home, and even with having Sam around, Hannah still felt so lonely - like she'd never really made it off that mountain. No one really understood what it was like up there. Sure, they got a taste but no one could look at her and say, "I know how you feel."
Because they didn't. Hannah felt utterly, desperately, and completely alone. She'd been alone so long she had forgotten what it was like to be surrounded by people. There were still news vans staking out the house. Reporters were calling non-stop to get her story. Family and friends had come from all over to see her and welcome her home.
But without Josh's presence, Hannah felt like none of that mattered.
She wanted her brother.
He might not know exactly how she felt, but he knew what it felt like to be trapped and scared. He'd been on his own mountain the whole last year. At least Sam had been there for him. She could never repay her best friend for being there for him while she was gone.
"Josh, I need you," she cried, "I need you to be my brother, I need to be able to hug you and talk to you and mourn with you… I need you to come back," she pled. "I made it back, Now you have to, too." Josh tightened his jaw, fidgeting a bit uncomfortably. She could see it in his eyes. He wanted to. "I need you to believe that I'm real and I'm not going to hurt you."
With those words, Josh's eyes slowly rose to Hannah's face. For the first time since she'd been home, she saw what seemed like recognition in her brother's eyes. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you and Beth," his voice cracked, and in a moment Hannah had rounded the table and hugged onto Josh. "I tried, Hannah. I really did…"
"It wasn't your fault, Josh… I'm okay. I'm here now, so it's okay."
"You're real."
Was she?
She didn't feel real. She hardly even felt alive anymore.
She hugged onto him tighter, maybe even just to convince herself: "I'm real."
The two of them cried together for a little while, apologizing when neither needed to. After a moment, Josh's grip on Hannah loosened but his body stiffened. Puzzled, Hannah pulled away from him, trying to read the frozen expression on his face that was stuck somewhere between awe and terror.
"Josh?" she hummed, "Josh ,what's wrong?"
He wordlessly pointed at the television behind them, and Hannah turned around to see a blonde newscaster sandwiched between two photos: one was Jessica, the other Matt.
Hannah's stomach plummeted as she hurried for the remote that was sitting on the arm of the couch, unmuting the tv to hear the tail-end of the report.
"-criminal investigation underway. Due to the state of the remains, positive identification took some time. Both were found in separate locations on Mount Washington but a spokesperson for the Blackwood County Sheriff's Department said they had fatal injuries that suggest foul play. Also discovered was the remains of an unknown male, estimated between the ages of 45-60. He is still being identified."
"Oh, my God," Hannah choked, her eyes blurring with tears at the sight of her peers plastered across the screen in front of her. And once she felt catapulted back onto that mountain. It hadn't really hit home to her that not all of them had made it back… but staring at Jess and Matt's faces now felt far too surreal to be true.
Hannah zoned back in when she heard her name:
"-recently found Hannah Washington, the daughter of movie mogul Robert Washington, who had disappeared on that same mountain a year prior. Since her miraculous rescue that led to the destruction of the multi-million dollar Washington Estate in Blackwood Pines, she has so far refused to comment on the ordeal. Also directly linked to this case could be Joshua Washington, the eldest son of Robert Washington. The troubled family is no stranger to tragedy. It was only over a year ago that their daughter, Bethany Was-"
Hannah snapped off the TV before she could hear any more. Her knees seemed to give out and luckily the end of the couch broke her fall as she found herself comfort-rocking back and forth. She felt arms wrap quickly around her, and surprisingly it was Josh comforting her now - she hadn't even noticed how shallow her breathing had become until his strong arms were crushing her to his chest.
"Hannah, it's okay," he reassured, stroking her hair. "It's going to be okay."
Hannah couldn't breathe. She couldn't cry. Her blurred vision seemed to be darkening around one center point, as if looking through a pinhole.
And yet all she could think about was Josh: he was going to be blamed for this. She knew it in her gut.
And it was all her fault.
Mike Munroe - Mike's Apartment - 10:45 pm
Mike was busy scrolling through the seemingly endless amounts of texts from Emily. She had sent him a few that day, but figured he should start from a few weeks ago so he could get caught up and answer her properly. If he decided to answer her. So far, her texts were only about her seething hatred for him for ignoring her. He wanted to remind her that he wasn't her boyfriend anymore, and hadn't been in some time, and didn't owe her anything.
He nearly jumped out of his skin when someone started pounding at his front door.
"Mike, it's me! Open up!" Hannah yelled.
Her voice sounded urgent and he ran to let her in, looking her over instantly to make sure she didn't have any blood on her in case she hurt herself, "What happened?!"
"They found Jessica and Matt's bodies and now they want to blame Josh for killing them and we all know it wasn't Josh, but all the news sees is a scandal!"
Mike's heart plummeted, "They found them…? W-when?"
"I guess just a few hours ago… but what about Josh? They're going to blame him! Mike, do you hear what I'm saying?"
The ghost pain where his fingers should be instantly flared up. He tried squeezing his hand, then shaking it violently. Nothing was helping and he wanted to cry out in pain.
And so he had another death he felt responsible for. He told Jessica that he would protect her, and he failed miserably.
"D-did they say if she died instantly or did she suffer…?"
Hannah stared at him, and she could tell the news was hitting him too hard to get an answer from him, "I...I really don't know. They just said that Jess and Matt were found in two different locations."
Mike nodded slowly, then chuckled, "So she died alone. Mmhmm. Yep. Do you uhh… do you think Emily should be here?" The whole question held an infliction that Hannah wasn't used to hearing. His voice didn't sound like his own. And she'd seen this kind of reaction before in herself… he was about to have a nervous breakdown.
"Um...I think Emily might make it worse, if I'm being honest," Hannah admitted, imagining Emily pushing Mike over that very narrow edge.
"Right, right, you're right; of course you're right," Mike agreed quickly. His eyes were dilated, "Think I just need to sit down." So he did so, his hand still in searing pain.
Hannah took the liberty to get him a glass of water, "The news has been wanting to do an interview with me...I think maybe I should now...to clear Josh's name...I didn't want to do it before, but it's not about me anymore. I don't want to lose the only other sibling I have left."
Mike swallowed a tiny sip of water, his eyes blinking rapidly, "Yeah, uh…" he cleared his throat even though it didn't sound like he needed to, "What are you… going to tell them then?"
She sighed, "I don't know. The news also said that the guy that took care of me this past year-."
"The guy that kept you prisoner," Mike corrected her.
Narrowing her eyes at him, she tried to counter again, "No, he kept me safe-."
He cut her off again, "Kept you prisoner. Tell them that story. He's the one that killed them."
Hannah felt all the air leave her lungs, "What?" she whispered, "No! No, he was trying to help…"
"What was his name? -Fuckin' shitposting hell, my fucking hand hurts so bad," He grabbed a throw blanket from the back of the couch and proceeded to wrap it around his hand and arm tightly.
Hannah watched as he did this, "Don't you have like...bandages or something the hospital gave you for that?"
"Yeah, well…" but he never finished.
"I don't know what his name was," she answered instead, "He never told me. Said there was no point in getting properly acquainted if we could just die any second."
"Sounds like a lovely fellow. Wish he had kept me prisoner, too."
Hannah narrowed her eyes again, "I'm about to rip two more fingers off of you."
"Do it, Hannah! By all means, do it! You came here for… what, advice? I'm telling you, pin it on the old guy! He'd dead anyway and doesn't even have a name. Josh is alive and has a future. You decide who goes down for-," his voice broke before he could say Jessica's name.
His phone chimed. And then chimed again. And again and again seven more times, before the ringtone started to play. He let it go to voicemail. His phone dinged with a missed call and new voicemail alert. Then more text messages started to come through.
"That's Emily," he said dully.
"Um…" Hannah considered asking him if he wanted to answer, but it was obvious he had no desire to. But it just kept chiming, and it was driving Hannah crazy already. She grabbed his phone and held down the buttons to shut it off.
"You could have thrown it against the wall," he told her with a small smirk, "Would have been more dramatic."
"You're already broken enough, you don't need a broken phone, too."
"Brutal fuckin' Hannah Washington," he paused for a moment as he thought about that, "Hey, maybe that's what they'll title your documentary."
She slouched back on the couch and crossed her arms, "Better than whatever they'll actually give me...which will be more like The Sad, Depressing, Pathetic Survivor Hannah Washington, whose sister Beth Washington Died Horrifically in Front of Her and then She was Forgotten about for a Year as All Her Friends Moved On."
"Wow… now that's a fuckin' title."
Hannah became fixated on a random spot across the room, "So you really think I should do the interview…?"
Mike sighed, "It'll get them off your back faster. People are more drawn to the unknown, and right now you're a mystery that everyone wants to know about. Once you talk, the appeal is gone and people will move on. And Josh will be safe, too."
Biting her bottom lip, she began to really think it over. She tried to block out Mike hissing and groaning under his breath about his hand. If he didn't do it to himself, she might have felt worse for him. Hannah basically made up her mind that Mike was right, and she was going to do the interview, but didn't want to tell him and give him the satisfaction.
"So why even come to me in the first place? We haven't talked in weeks." Mike finally asked, not being able to stand the silence where he was left alone with his thoughts, "Also…" he added as an afterthought, "How can you come over here and not bring my dog? What the fuck?"
Without missing a beat, Hannah said, "Because everyone else is basically worthless right now. And he's my dog."
"Ah well… glad I'm not in that category then...and he's our dog."
"You're still in the shit category."
"I'd rather be shit than worthless. It brought you here to me tonight, so I'll take it."
Hannah tries not to smile - she certainly doesn't feel like smiling. She heads toward the door; she got what she came here for and has not reason to linger. She makes sure to send one more jab his way before she leaves, "Dumbass…"
Mike just smirks back at her, giving her a brief nod.
"I'll take that, too."
Josh Washington - Washington Residence - 11:56 pm
Josh was laying on the couch in the living room, steadily dozing off to the sound of the tv. He didn't necessarily care what was on the television, so long as he wasn't left with the deafening silence of an empty house. No one else was home, but ever since Hannah had come back and he got back on his meds, being alone in the house didn't make him crazy like it used to.
Even still, the silence could feel a bit unsettling. Especially as he tried to wrap his brain around what he'd learned on the news just a few hours ago - that Jessica and Matt were dead.
As he lay there, the godawful laugh track of some old sitcom fading out of his consciousness, he unwittingly thought back on those times when he was terrified - and seemingly incapable - of being alone.
You're all alone...Can you feel how cold your loneliness has become?
Those involuntary thoughts snowballed into memories of all the times Sam would stay on the phone with him until he fell asleep. Even if they weren't saying anything, it helped him just to know she was on the other end of the line. Sometimes, when he was particularly needy, she would even come over. But that wasn't as often.
When he told her she was the only one who understood him, he had meant it, damn it.
He remembered when he'd said that to her. It was one of those rare times she'd come over, since his parents were up the mountain dealing with the investigation and weren't due back anytime soon. Chris had been spending a lot of time with Ashley, who was reeling from her part in the prank, so Sam had become his stand-in. It wasn't uncommon for her to take over 'Josh duty.' Not only was she practically an innocent bystander in the situation, but it helped that he had a pretty close friendship with her even before that night.
Maybe he'd been misreading her all those times she was with him at a moment's notice. Maybe she was really just trying to be kind to him or felt some kind of obligation to him... but the way she looked at him with those worried, furrowed eyebrows hovering over teary eyes, or the way she placed her hand on his back so carefully and lovingly… it was all becoming increasingly confusing for him.
He'd always thought that they had a bond - a connection, of sorts. She was feisty and insufferable and sometimes as equally annoying as his little sisters, but whenever he thought of his sisters, Sam was always just part of the package.
Then, somewhere along the way, things shifted.
It started very gradually at first - long before his sisters went missing. It began with a lingering glance here or a flash of skin there or late night conversations between the two of them, whispered around his sleeping sisters. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, it wasn't so much a sisterly-love he harboured for her, and the things she said and the way she looked at him made him think maybe, just maybe, she felt the same way too.
"I'm really...really glad you're here with me, Sam," Josh had said to her one night, bravely and daringly resting his hand on her thigh. Sam stiffened, her wide eyes trailing down to his hand with a look of apprehension on her face. She reached down and took his roaming hand in hers, clasping it tightly as she moved it back into her comfort zone. She tried to make it look natural and nonchalant but Josh knew that just like with most things in his life, he had crossed a line. Even still, she didn't scold him about it, which he appreciated.
"Of course," she said, a breathy whisper. He wasn't sure why she was trying to be quiet; his parents weren't home. They were in the cinema room of his house, which was not too unlike the cinema room at the lodge. In fact, Josh was beginning to realize that some of his most prominent memories with Sam had taken place in front of a movie screen.
"I just… I know you loved them as much as I did," he droned on, and Sam offered him a sympathetic, tight-lipped smile. "And I know this is just as hard on you as it is for me… no one else really seems to get it like us."
Us. He liked saying that word. It had heft.
Sam stared back at him for a moment before she nodded solemnly, turning her head back towards the movie when his burning, pleading stare became just too intense for her.
"I think they'd be glad we're here for each other, ya know?" he pressed on, and Sam took in a wavering breath. This wasn't new. Josh had tried, and failed, to get her to open up or at least reciprocate any of the sentiment he dished out to her more often lately. Maybe he was crazy about her. Maybe he just wanted to feel connected to someone. He wasn't sure what it was about the green-eyed beauty that made him so badly want to be seen by her.
Seen as more than just a friend… more than Hannah and Beth's older brother. And certainly seen as more than just a charity case.
He watched as she glanced back down at their hands, noticing that they were still clasped together. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze with hers, and leaned her head on his shoulder. Sam was never really a girl of many words. Josh had gotten good at doing the talking for the both of them.
He turned his head slightly and he could smell her shampoo, an intoxicating mixture of berries and vanilla and… something else... he could never quite place. Sam's scent was always its own brand, never replicated.
"I'm sorry to ask you over like this," he finally said after a moment. "I know you have a lot of other things you need to be doing, like studying for your midterms-"
"It's okay, Josh," she said through a yawn. "Really. I'm happy to be here with you." She tilted her head up, her chin resting on his shoulder and Josh was suddenly very aware of how close their faces were as she stared at him. He wanted so badly to push forward, their lips so close to brushing, but the rejection of his hand on her thigh moments ago made him lose his nerve. She gave him another small grin, and her face read like a mystery. He never had any idea what she was thinking behind that mask.
"I'm glad to hear that… no one else really gets me, ya know? I feel like-" he stopped, wondering if he should go any further. He had a bad habit of wearing his heart on his sleeve and he didn't want to lay himself out there like this. As he pondered how to finish the end of that sentence, Sam sat more upright, and Josh wished he hadn't taken so long to answer so she'd still be nestled up closely to him like before.
"Yes, Josh?" she asked. He gave a small shrug, so whatever came out next would at least seem casual. She kinda bit her bottom lip expectantly and for some reason it drove him crazy.
In a good way.
Which was also bad.
"I feel like you're the only one who understands me, Sam." Josh watched as her face began to change right before him. Her eyes glossed over and she suddenly had this deer in the headlights look, as though he were bestowing a burden upon her that she was unprepared to shoulder.
At least he thought she understood him, anyway. He realized now that she was just a band aid. Sometimes he let himself wonder if maybe she needed him as much as he needed her; she was always available. But the moment things began to get intense between them, Sam would just clam up and Josh hated forcing himself on anyone. Also, whatever it was going on between the two of them, he didn't want to fuck it up, as he had a way of doing.
Thinking about it now just made him feel stupid.
Josh jolted himself awake to the offensively loud sound of a cell phone. It wasn't his, that was for sure - it was chimes and bells, something he would never assign as a ringtone. He sat up to look for the source of the disturbance and on the end table beside him was Hannah's new phone, vibrating itself in circles. The intrusion caused Balto to sit alert on his doggy bed, growling - this wasn't anything new. The dog hadn't particularly taken a liking to Josh and insisted on nestling his big body between Hannah and him as though he needed to protect her from Josh.
"It's fine, dude," Josh muttered, forgetting the dog's name in that moment. "You need to chillax."
He wanted to call for Hannah, but then remembered her leaving over an hour ago to 'take care of something.' Last he knew, Hannah still hadn't gotten home. He internally reminded himself to scold her for leaving it behind, later. He yawned, reaching over to silence it, but when he glanced down at the name on the caller ID his stomach dropped: Sam.
He held it in his hand a moment, weighing his options. His initial reaction was to simply ignore the call - Sam and him were not necessarily best friends at the moment. He had found his most recent interactions with her to be exasperating at best, and she seemed to return the same sentiment.
One thing nagged at him though, and that was the fact that it was nearly 12 am. No calls aound 12 am were ever anything good (save for the very rare booty call, but he was quite certain that's not what this was). So, he couldn't help but wonder if she was okay. Maybe he needed help?
Josh shook his head and went to set the phone down. Even if she did need help, she certainly didn't want it from him, of all people. She'd made that point clear.
The phone stopped ringing and Josh felt instantly relieved, albeit slightly guilty.
'What should I feel guilty for?' he wondered to himself. 'She's a big girl. She can handle herself - more than I ever thought she could.' Josh expelled all of the air that was just sitting in his lungs before he plopped back down, rolling over to face the backside of the couch and closing his eyes tightly.
He knew almost instantly that there was no way he was going to be able to sleep with this on his conscience - among other things.
Matt. Jess. Sam. Matt. Jess. Sam. Matt. Jess-
"Goddamn it, Sam," he grunted irritatedly, sitting up quickly and snatching the phone back up, hitting redial. It only took two rings before Sam picked up, the distant sound of loud music and clambering in the background.
"Hannnnnaaaahhh!" she yelled, and Josh pulled the phone away from his head to protect his eardrum. "Hann I think-" she paused, the sound of shuffling on the other side of the line. "Hann, I think I need a ride." Josh was caught off guard; he'd never heard Sam like this. In all the time he had known her, Sam had always kept herself relatively sober, even when everyone else was throwing back shots. Sam was the reliable one; she had no problem being the DD on a regular basis. This was so unlike her.
"Sam… are you okay?" he asked, and there was a long, silent pause on the other end. "Hello?"
"No. I don't want you. I called Hannah," Sam was slurring her words together and Josh had a hard time understanding her. He rolled his eyes; if she was stranded somewhere and wasted, he didn't have time to argue with her over whether or not she wanted him to help her.
"Well, she's not here," he snapped, "so ya get me. Where are you?" he asked, reaching down and slipping on his converse sneakers, one at a time. "Sam, I need you to tell me where you are," he reiterated, slowly.
"Wh- where's Ha-Hannah?" she hiccuped.
"I said she's not here. I really need you to tell me where you are and stay put, I'm coming to get you," Josh commanded, pulling on his hoodie and zipping it up. Before he got a chance to say anything else, the phone beeped in his ear and the call had ended - Sam had hung up. "Damn it, Sam!" He was so irritated that one part of him just thought, fuck it. Let her figure it out if she wants to be difficult…
The other part, the louder part, made him scoop up his keys and head for his car. Regardless of how he felt about her at the moment, he couldn't just leave her out there, especially like this. His whole last year had been defined by not being there when his sisters needed him - he was not going to let that happen again, not on his watch and especially not to Sam.
After he got into his car he opened up Hannah's text messages, searching for any clues as to of where Sam might be. It wasn't too hard; it was literally the last thing they'd texted about. Sam had some kind of date with a guy at a bar called Hoser's, so that was the first place he figured he should look.
The bar was close to her campus, which wasn't too far from Josh's house so it really took no time to get there. He had tried to call her a few times on the way, but she wasn't picking up anymore and then it was going straight to voicemail, which meant her phone was either dead or she turned it off. Frustration began to shift into dread and worry, and he hoped he could still manage to find her somehow. Josh pulled right up to the front of the bar and hopped out, carefully scanning crowd that was filing out onto the sidewalk.
"Yo, bro, we're closin' up," the bearded doorman said as Josh entered. Josh gave him a quick glance before he uttered, "I'm just looking for someone," and kept walking. It was last call, and the bar had pretty much emptied, aside from a few people finishing up their drinks and paying their tabs. The bartender must have seen the panic in Josh's face because he gave him a bit of a nod and correctly guessed his predicament, asking him, 'What does she look like?'
"Uh, like… five-foot-nothing, blonde, green eyes-" he began to describe, but he knew those were all very vague features. He didn't even know what she was wearing. After looking at all the remaining people, Josh knew she definitely wasn't here anymore, if she had been here. The bartender thought for a second before he offered him one possible match to the description.
"There was one girl who was here alone - date stood her up so dudes lined up to feed her shots all night. Pretty young. Cute. Asked if vodka was vegan-"
"That's the one," Josh pointed at him, rushing the bar. "When did she leave?" The bartender gave a bit of a shrug.
"Like…maybe 5 minutes ago? Started walkin' home with one of the guys-" That was enough information for Josh. He turned from the bar and was quick on his feet, weaving through drunk and stumbling bar patrons. Once he made it out to the night air, he cupped his hands around his mouth and called out her name. A few people glanced up at him like he was crazy, but then continued on their way. Josh's heart was in his throat, and that part made him particularly angry. This wasn't his problem. Why was he even here?
"Samantha!" he called out again, and far up the street a ways, he thought he could see a familiar blonde ponytail hobbling down the sidewalk with a stranger. Josh took off down that direction, silently berating himself for caring so much. "Hey!" he yelled, and he saw the girl stop, turning around a bit. The closer he got, the more unmistakable she became. He eyed her up and down to be sure, since he'd never seen Sam dressed up like this. Her short, little black dress probably wasn't as flattering as it had been earlier in the evening, a strap falling off her shoulder. It was definitely revealing, which was very surprising to Josh because Sam was always such a tomboy. Her curled hair was pulled up into a sloppy, half hearted ponytail, as though she'd maybe just thrown it up recently. Her shoes were in her hands, and Josh tried not to think about how unsanitary it was for her to be walking around barefoot in the city.
"Huh?" she asked, squinting at him to figure out who he was. Now that Josh was closer, he could see just how unfocused her eyes were. She was completely wasted - he might have even guessed she was blacked out.
"You know this guy, sweetie?" the man asked -Josh didn't like the way he called her that. It almost seemed vulgar. Before he'd spoken, Josh hadn't even paid too much attention to the guy who had a strong grip on her arm to keep her upright. He was far too old to be helping Sam home, or whatever it was he thought he was doing. Josh wasn't stupid; he knew why mostly sober guys hung around bars at closing time to 'help' pretty blonde girls get home. He was just so thankful he'd found her before something happened to her. Josh reached out for Sam.
"C'mon, that's enough. Let's go," he commanded. The guy stepped between the two of them, his arm up to block Josh from Sam.
"Who the fuck you think you are?" the man challenged. Josh rolled his eyes. This was far too much work, and he didn't have the patience for this guy taking claim over her.
"Just back off, alright?" Josh said irritatedly. "I know her. I'm her friend-"
"No you're not!" Sam slurred, and Josh's eyes widened. Fuck. This wasn't looking good. She was simply rejecting him because she was still mad at him, but it was making Josh look like he was trying to abduct her or something.
"Yes, I am," Josh replied through gritted teeth, but the guy seemed unconvinced and unwilling to give the little blonde up that easily. Josh turned to him, hoping he could reason with him since clearly Sam was no help. "Look, obviously she's just had too much to drink. I'm gonna get her home," he promised. The man chuckled out a humorless laugh.
"I don't think so, buddy. I found this one fair and square, get your own," the man responded crudely, forcing Sam forward to continue walking.
"Ow," she grumbled at the man, twisting a bit out of his grip, "not so hard."
"I highly suggest you hand her over -" Josh threatened, although he had no idea what he was going to do at this point. The guy turned to Josh once more.
"Dude, get over it. She doesn't know you." Josh was done dealing with him; he averted his attention back to Sam who was swaying on her feet.
"Sam, now. Let's go." He got as close to her face as the man would allow, trying to meet her unfocused gaze. "Look, I don't care if you're mad at me or whatever but what you're doing right now is really, really stupid," Josh assured her, and reluctantly her eyes flitted to his face. She seemed to kind of shake herself out of her drunken haze a bit, and Josh could see her beginning to second guess her choices. Sam was a smart girl. This wasn't like her at all.
Josh reached for her hand again, but before she could reach back the man was stepping between them again. "I said back off," Josh yelled, shoving the guy hard in the chest. The man fell back on his feet a bit, but returned quickly with a swift and hard punch to Josh's right eye. Josh could hear the sound of the man's fist cracking against his face and he instantly doubled over in pain. "Sonofabitch!" he hissed, hopping around a bit. That seemed to wake Sam up instantly.
"Josh!" Sam cried out, lunging forward and out of the man's grip to come to Josh's aide.
"Wait, you actually know this guy?" the man asked, shaking his hand out. They both ignored him; Josh was too busy cradling his aching head to shove Sam away from him - her comfort was the last thing he wanted at this point.
"Josh! Are you okay? Come here," she asked caringly, trying to help him upright to get a good look at his eye.
"Whatever, you two psychos deserve each other," the man grumbled before he charged off.
"Yeah, fuck you!" Josh spat after him, giving him the finger, which the man didn't even see as he continued down the block. Josh took in a sharp hiss again, the stinging around his eye growing in intensity. "Motherfucker," he whispered harshly.
"I'm sorry," Sam said sheepishly, cupping his face in her hands to get a good look at his eye. Their eyes connected and Josh swallowed, his vision of her blurring as his eye watered. She looked instantly apologetic, but Josh brushed her off, taking ahold of her hand to ensure she didn't end up walking away with any more strangers.
"Let's just go," he muttered, dragging her along behind him towards his car.
After he got her safely into the car and buckled up, Josh drove in circles for awhile while he tried to figure out what exactly to do with her. He couldn't very well take her to her parent's house like this, and he couldn't just drop her off at her apartment - she was so drunk he worried that someone needed to be there to make sure she didn't pull a Jimi Hendrix or something. He figured the best place for her would be back at his house where he could watch over her, although he was already regretting that decision as he turned to head home.
Sam sat silently beside him the the passenger seat, her head bobbing from side to side lazily with the rocking of the car. Josh gave her a sideways glance. She was clutching the water bottle he'd given her, but was very close to spilling it over.
"Drink your water," Josh ordered. Sam gave him a dirty look for being so curt but still obliged. Somewhere inside she knew he was right, whether she wanted to admit it or not. Josh reached up and touched his eye, noticing that it was beginning to swell. He looked at himself in the rearview mirror and confirmed that notion - it was puffy and bruising.
"Great," he mumbled under his breath. Sam suddenly let out a hiccup, but it sounded more like a retch and it made Josh nervous. "A-are you gonna puke?" he asked, worriedly. She shut her eyes tightly and swallowed down whatever it was that had just come up. After a moment she shook her head. "Are you sure? Just tell me and I'll pull over. I just got this car detailed like a week ago-"
"I'm fine," she choked out. She let out a deep sigh before turning herself towards him.
"Yeah, you're fine. You can handle yourself, right Sammy?" Josh said sarcastically, but it was lost on Sam in her drunken state.
"Sorry I got you punched in the face," Sam remarked, although Josh doubted her sincerity. He did glance over at her because she was starting to sound a lot more coherent. She leaned her head back on the headrest, staring at him with heavy eyelids. "I didn't think he was gonna do that." Josh just shook his head and gripped onto his steering wheel tightly.
"I mean… What the fuck were you thinking, Sam? Do you even know what could have happened to you? That guy could have-" he stopped; Josh didn't really want to get to the end of that sentence. Sam's head fell to the side as she waved him off dismissively.
"Oh, okay, dad," she snorted, and he rolled his eyes. Drunk Sam was a far cry from sober Sam. "Ya know, spare me the lecture. I didn't ask you to come, okay?"
"Oh, oh right. You're right," Josh snarled. "Here, let me just take you back to your friend, Mr. Ted Bundy back there so he can dismember you and scatter you around town, how's that sound?" he seethed. "God, you're just… you're such a fucking pain in my ass, you know that?!"
"I'm a pain in your ass? That's rich coming from you," she scoffed. "I'm not the one who pulled a horrifying, elaborate revenge prank on all my friends." Sam folded her arms over her chest and turned away from him. Josh didn't let himself think too much about what she'd just said, just simply clenched his jaw and realized he was only mad at her because she'd honestly terrified him half to death. Didn't she know what he'd just gone through with Hannah and Beth? Hadn't she been there for him while he wanted to scream and cry and pull his own hair out?
He took in a deep, even breath. At least she was here now. At least she was safe.
"Does it hurt?" Sam wondered, still staring out her window. There was an amusement in her tone that made him think she wanted it to hurt. He didn't entirely blame her. He knew she was still so mad at him for his little prank on the mountain. Against his will, Josh felt his face crack a bit at the silliness of her question though.
"Nah. Feels great. I love it," he deadpanned, and when he looked back over at Sam she was smiling a bit. She slowly turned herself back towards him before she reached her hand out and gently pressed on the swelling, sending shooting pain that caused Josh to flinch. "Ow, fuck, don't!" he barked, slapping her hand away and Sam giggled a bit. Josh shook his head, feeling like he was chauffeuring around a five-year-old at this point. That is until she dropped her hand and rested it lightly on his thigh.
"Thanks for saving me," she said sweetly. Josh had no idea what was going on. "Even though I didn't really deserve it," she added embarrassedly. Josh's eyebrows furrowed as his throat ran dry. She was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Even still, he froze under her touch - what was this? Sam had never been so forward. He cleared his throat and patted her hand politely.
"Oookaaay..." was all he could think to say, but his stomach was in knots as he anticipated what was coming next.
Josh pulled back into the driveway of his parent's house and turn off the engine. In the still, loud silence of the car, Sam's hand felt so heavy resting on him, and he found himself completely baffled by her behavior. This kind of action on her part was something he'd wanted for forever... but not like this. He turned his head towards her when he felt her eyes burning into him, an unreadable expression on her face. Whatever it was, it was intense and made him nervous and confused and excited all at the same time.
"We should… uhhh… we should go in-" his words began to trail off. He watched her with wide eyes as she unbuckled her seatbelt and leaned in towards him. Once again, Josh found himself practically immobile. When he didn't stop her, Sam's face moved forward and she nuzzled his cheek, as though she were asking permission. Her lips grazed against the corner of his mouth.
Josh held his breath, caught somewhere between still being so angry at her and also being handed something he'd wanted so badly for far too long. Her hand came up and she turned his face towards hers. Her eyes searched his, awaiting some kind of approval. When she didn't receive one, she pressed forward anyway, this time her lips brushing his. His heart sped up. He was really not wanting to take advantage of their situation… although it felt like maybe the only one being taken advantage of was him.
The kiss lingered for a moment before she broke away from him, and he could feel her breath dancing on his lips. It was hot and sweet from a night of mixed drinks and almost utterly intoxicating. When he opened his eyes he watched hers open, deep pools of green pulling him in, and his resistance was futile. Josh was well aware that this was not a good idea, even as she brought his face to hers and she kissed him passionately. He caved, roughly moving his lips against hers, his hand resting on her cheek. Sam's hand came up and wrapped around his wrist, pushing herself further onto him, her movements lazy and uncoordinated but determined.
"Sam..." he mumbled into her mouth, a half-hearted objection, but she just let out a soft, quiet moan in response that was not helping him whatsoever. In fact, he melted a bit beneath her at the sound of her delighted noises and knowing that he had some part in it.
Sam suddenly turned, swinging one leg up and over him to straddle him, climbing over him in the driver's seat. Josh had no control over himself and what was happening at this point, especially her hands rested on each side of his neck pulling him up and closer to her as her tongue explored his mouth and he got to finally learn what she truly tasted like, after all this time.
His hands ran smoothly down her back, rounding over her butt as he pulled her body even closer to his, raising his hips slightly for even more pressure grazing against her. All he could think about was the thin fabric of her little, sleazy black dress and how good it would look on his bedroom floor.
Her hair was down now, golden locks cascading down and all around them, and he broke away to press his lips to the soft skin of her neck, which just seemed to drive her even more crazy than she already was. Drunk Sam wasn't just an obnoxious Sam. Drunk Sam was a horny Sam. He regretted never getting her wasted before.
They were both instantly startled when her butt hit the horn, shooting out an abrupt and loud honk into the night and bringing Josh back to reality and the severity of the situation: Sam was not in her right mind, and if anything were ever to really happen between the two of them, he didn't want it to be like this. He wanted it to mean something and right now, he had no idea what this meant.
Sam lurched forward again, but Josh turned his head. She pulled back a bit, her face confused and even slightly hurt.
"What is it?" she breathed, her chest heaving a bit. He tried not to stare at her usually absent cleavage right at his eye level."Isn't this what you wanted?"
"No," he blurted out, then shook his head at the bluntness of it. "I mean yes, it was-"
"Was?" she echoed.
"Sam, you're drunk. And not just gray-area drunk, you're like… drunk-drunk. Like, I-could-end-up-doing-time, drunk-" he began to explain, but Sam was already rolling her eyes. But if she was completely honest with herself, she wasn't sure why she was doing this. She had spent so long hating him for what he'd done to her, it was almost as though she wanted him to kiss her and make it better… even though even in her drunken stupor she knew this wasn't the right way to go about it. Regardless, Sam was turned on and she knew for a fact that he was too - she could feel him between her legs.
"Josh, it's fine," she assured quickly, the soft slur in her words told a different story. She reached down between them and grazed his jeans. Josh groaned a bit, the temptation pulling at him; he couldn't believe he was turning her down, especially with how far they'd already taken things. He figured he deserved a medal for that alone.
But no. Josh wasn't that kind of guy - never had been and didn't plan on it now. And no matter how much both of them wanted it, Sam knew that about him already. He would kill a guy for taking advantage of one of his sisters this way. Plus, he had seen enough public service announcements to know that a drunken "yes" was still a "no."
"Lest we not forget my father is in the movie industry… I think we both know it's not fine."
"Josh-" she tried, pulling him closer to her. Still, he resisted,
"I swear… I swear that I want to do this-" be began, and stopped Sam when she leaned back down to kiss him, "but how about we get you to bed and if you still feel this way in the morning, we can talk about it," he compromised. Sam looked down at him with glassy eyes for a moment before she leaned back away from him. "I promise you'll thank me in the morning."
"I don't get it. First, you berate me in your hospital room for leading you on, and now I'm throwing myself at you and you're not into it?" Sam conceded. Josh knew there was no way he was going to be able to explain this while she was in this state, but he certainly couldn't entertain this conversation any longer.
"Of course I'm into it," Josh told her quietly, "Sam, you already hate me for what I did to you. I really can't add taking advantage of you while you're drunk to the list, you know?" Sam stared at him for a good, long moment before she groaned and rested her head back on the seat.
"Damn it, Washington." She chuckled to herself and shook her head. Josh watched her - she was still visibly drunk. He was glad he'd put a stop to it before he couldn't have.
"What?"
"I hate to admit this but… you really are a good guy sometimes." It was a backward compliment, but Josh felt the corners of his mouth tug, and he wanted to smile, before her eyes narrowed and she threw a punch into his shoulder. "That's why I'm so mad at you!" The end of her sentence ran and slurred together.
"Ow!" Josh grabbed his shoulder and glared at her, "Why do you have to be so violent?!"
"Why did you have to make me like you and then go all psychopath on me?" She shot back, the exertion she used to yell making the alcohol swim around in her head. She sank herself down, her hand slapping over her eyes, "I need that water now."
Josh quickly reached for the water bottle and handed it to her, "Please don't puke on me." She drank quickly and Josh continued to hold onto her hips. This was getting a little awkward, so he suggested they go in and get her something to eat.
"Not hungry…" she said after she was done drinking. She looked down at him, their eyes meeting in the dark again.
After a long moment of silence, Josh realized what she had said, "Wait...wait wait wait wait-did you just say you like me?"
Sam grinned deviously and leaned closer to him, her hands slipping over his shoulders and to the back of his neck. Josh stiffened, taken by surprise at her sneakiness...how did she gain the upper hand so quickly again? "Correction," she slurred, but her voice was low and barely noticeable, "I said I did before you went psycho." She pulled him closer, her lips brushing his again when she said, "Now I hate you." Then she was kissing him hard again, her whimpered moan drowning into his throat when she separated his lips with her tongue.
Josh jumped at her brashness, his fingers feeling the soft skin right below her ass where her dress stopped. He again knew he had to stop this. But there was nowhere for her to go; she was trapped between him and the steering wheel. So his hand smacked against the window before fumbling down until he felt the door handle, pulling it toward him to open the door.
The fresh night air rushed over him and it was exactly what he needed to help get his mind right. He grabbed her face and pulled her away from him, her eyes heavy with drunkenness and lust.
"Let's get you inside," he suggested, grabbing onto her tightly as he swung his legs out of the car.
"Let's get you inside," She giggled when he stood up and she wrapped her legs around his waist, her face hidden in his neck, "Soooo strong!"
"You weigh like 110 pounds soaking wet," he pointed out, kicking his door shut with his foot. She unwrapped her legs from him and practically ran to the front door; she shimmied the handle to find it was locked, so she leaned against it as she waited. He slowed his walk as he eyed her standing there. His heart was in his throat and she was so beautiful and wanting to kiss him and-
No.
Not wanting to kiss him.
She was drunk and kissing him - big difference.
Still. Walking toward her, seeing the desire in her eyes that he wished he had seen anytime over the past year was making it hard to not tell her everything he felt about her. He tried avoiding her gaze when he reached behind her to unlock the door, even though he could feel her breath on his cheek and neck.
"Did I ever tell you how hot you are?" She asked suddenly, her voice becoming even heavier.
Josh chuckled at her words, "Um, nope. Don't think I ever heard that one from you before." He opened the front door for her, glad she walked in with no hassle. That is, until Balto came charging up to them, teeth snapping. Josh took a cautious step back, but Sam, on the other hand, hurled herself down to the dog's level.
"Doggggyyyyyyy!" she squealed, wrapping her arms around his fluffy neck.
"Careful… he's not too friendly," Josh warned. But his words trailed as he watched the big dog tackle the already wobbly Sam with slobbery kisses. Sam giggled, cracking one eye open as the dog assaulted her cheek.
"What was that?" she asked, and Josh just waved his hand at the scene.
"Nevermind," he mumbled. "Apparently he only likes girls. Not that I blame him."
Sam stood, leaning against the entryway table to keep her balance, "he likes Mike."
"Well, correction then. The mutt only likes pussies," he joked crudely, garnering a hard slap against his leather jacket from Sam.
"You're a pig," she sneered, and Josh just laughed at his own joke. He walked down the hall and dropped his keys on the kitchen counter; Sam trailed not to far behind him. He was relieved to also see Hannah's keys on the counter, as well as her coat on the bar chair - she must have gotten in while he was gone.
Josh turned to tell Sam to keep it down, but could see how white her face was, so he started looking through the cabinets to get her some crackers or something to soak up the booze. He turned around to the counter just in time to see her try to pull herself up only to slip up and flail to the floor with a loud, painful, thud.
"Are you okay?" he asked, a small smile cracking as he tried not to laugh when he saw that she was fine.
"I meant to do that," she grinned, but still, a deep blush lit up her cheeks and she looked so adorable that he finally had to laugh.
"You're a mess," he helped her to her feet, holding out his hands as she attempted to pull herself up on the counter again, this time making it.
She took the crackers he offered her, slipping the top one into her mouth, "Only 'cause of you…" He knew she was wasted when she didn't ask if they were vegan, first.
He rolled his eyes and leaned against the counter opposite of her, crossing his arms, "I know, I know. Though - in my defense - you were a mess before I chased you around in a towel."
Sam didn't even react to his harsh comment, just ate a few more crackers as a long silence settled between the two of them. Her gaze raised to his, and it made Josh's breath hitch as she sadly asked, "so… Matt and Jess are… they're dead?"
He could only nod, the words escaping him. Sam had been through a lot lately and always tended to keep her emotions bottled up. He was happy that she was being open with him at all at this point, even if the subject matter made him want to vomit.
"Should we like… I don't know. Plan a memorial or something?" she wondered, her voice barely above a whisper.
"I uh… I don't know. I think their parents are probably handling that."
This time Sam only nodded, processing everything. She slipped off the counter she tried so hard to get on, beginning to walk toward him, but then paused, "I should probably tell you I lied… I don't hate you, Josh."
Josh pursed his lips to keep from saying anything. She began walking toward him again but swayed, and he knew he had to get her to bed. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and the box of crackers off the counter, then wrapped his arm around her waist as he led her to the stairs. She stumbled up them, but at least she was giggling. When they reached the landing, he turned her to the left to go toward the guest bedroom, but she stopped him and shook her head, "I want to sleep with you."
He chuckled, but still continued on to the guest bedroom, "Words I've been waiting to hear forever."
They reached the bedroom, and she grabbed his cheeks to make him look her in the eyes, even though her vision was obviously unfocused, "Did you hear what I said? Josh… I said I don't hate you…"
"Yeah, I know. I heard that," he reminded her. It was getting harder and harder to leave her, especially when her hands trailed down his chest and stomach. He stopped her hands again, her forehead against his. He went on the defense when her lips neared his, prepared to back away at a moment's notice.
"But I don't hate you…" she mumbled, trying really hard to make him understand. She swallowed, wrapping her arms around his waist and holding onto him, "Even when I should 'cause you're such an asshole scaring me like that and-."
"I know," he said, hoping to stop her there. He opened the bedroom door to the guest room.
"Making me think you died…" she murmured sadly, stumbling into the bedroom with him. She fell ungracefully onto the bed, her dress hiking up to her stomach. Josh tried not to look at her lacy red panties as he pulled her dress back down for her, but then tossed the blankets over her so it wouldn't be so obvious.
"Don't gooooo," she whined and reached for his hand before he could turn around, "I just said I don't hate you, so you can't hate me!"
Josh tapped his chin and acted like he was thinking about her words, "Hmm...well, I'm not sure if that's a reason…"
She suddenly tugged his hand with a lot more force than he thought she was capable of, especially being drunk, causing him to fall forward, only catching himself with his hands on either side of her. She grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer, and her lips were on his once again before he could even comprehend their situation. How does she keep doing that?
He was just glad there were blankets between them. It helped keep her at bay and him from feeling her body against his. Even if that was still all he wanted. He found himself needing to swat her hands away every time they tried to lift his shirt, and he softened her kisses. If he couldn't get her to fall asleep by refusing her, he just had to lull her to sleep. His lips barely brushed hers as they very lightly made out, and all he could hope for was that she didn't take back everything she said tonight and tell him she hated him again in the morning.
"Jooooosssshhhhhh…" she whispered, her lips curling up as she elongated the sh sound. Her grip weakened and he could tell she was falling asleep. He opened his eyes to see hers closed, her breathing slowing. He ran a finger down her cheek and across her bottom lip. He leaned in close to her, whispering, "I don't hate you, Sammy…" before rising from her and off the bed. She didn't even stir.
Josh & Hannah - Washington Residence - The Next Morning
Hannah heard Josh dragging his feet down the stairs and into the kitchen before appearing in the doorway. She leaned her back against the kitchen counter, clutching her coffee cup tightly in her hands near her chest.
"Morning," he yawned, walking right past her toward the fridge.
"Hey…" she replied absently, her mind still on the interview. She'd had all night to think about it, and although she was pretty sure she'd made up her mind, she wasn't sure how Josh was going to take it. Josh pulls out two water bottles and a bottle of orange juice.
"You alright?" he asked, uncapping the top and reaching for a glass from the cupboard. "You look a little dazed and confused over there."
"Hmm?" Hannah hummed, her attention snapping back over to him. She set her coffee mug down on the counter. "Oh, uh. Yeah. I'm fine."
"You sure?"
"Well," she said, her bottom lip catching beneath her teeth. She folded her arms over her chest, nervously. "I have something I sorta wanted to run by you."
"Shoot," Josh said, but it came out as more of a grunt as he pulled up a stool and sits at the counter with his various beverages. Hannah clawed her nails through her raven hair, approaching the kitchen island.
"Um. So. I've decided that I'm going to agree to do one of those interviews."
"Wait, what?" Josh replied, a hard line appearing between his brow, "Hannah, no. You can't give those vultures any scraps. They'll never be satisfied. They'll twist your words-"
"Josh, I'm not asking you. I'm telling you. I already made up my mind about it." He just stared back at her, dumbfounded.
"But... why?"
"Well, do you want the truth or a lie?" she asked him rhetorically, but he just glowered back at her. "Right. Dumb question."
"Hannah. Really. What's going on?"
"Now that they found Matt and Jess… I just know they're going to start trying to find out who did this. I'm scared you're gonna get blamed-"
"Hannah," Josh breathed, standing from his stool. "We both know I didn't kill Matt or Jessica-"
"No, no. I know. We do. But… you know how these things go. They're going to want to blame someone. And with your history I just… I don't even want to take the chance."
"You cannot put yourself out there like this because of me," Josh scolded, shaking his head. "I-I can't let you put yourself out there after everything you've already been through, just to be eaten alive by the media circuits-"
"Again, Josh. I'm not asking you. I'm telling you," was her stern reply.
"Where did you go last night?" Josh suddenly asked, somewhat accusingly. Hannah shrunk under his stare, tucking some loose hair behind her ear. She pushed past him, averting her eyes to the coffee maker and refilling her mug.
"Um… why?"
"You were gone. You just left your phone here. You were gone when I left-"
"You left?" she wondered, and Josh knew she was trying to change the subject.
"Yeah. Sam called you. She needed a ride, she got drunk at a bar-"
"What? That's so unlike her-"
"You're digressing, Hannah."
Hannah's shoulders slumped and she heaved another sigh, "I went to Mike's. Sam wasn't picking up, Chris is a million miles away mentally, obviously I'm not going to be talking to Ashley or Emily much anytime soon-"
"Wait. Why didn't you just ask me?"
"I knew you'd try to talk me out of it. I needed to talk to someone who wasn't so close to the situation-"
"Wasn't close? You mean, Mike DIDN'T pull the terrible prank that sent you running out into the snowstorm that night?" Josh sneered, unable to keep his distaste for Mike off his tongue. "The prick…" he mumbled, as well.
"I chose what I chose that night," Hannah snapped back at him, although she didn't mean to. She didn't want to fight with Josh and she had no idea why she felt defensive of Mike. Maybe just seeing him in the state he was in last night made her want to ease up on the guy a bit. It was clear he'd been suffering just as much as the rest of them.
"Fine," Josh finally relented, although it was still quite begrudgingly. "But if you think I'm not going to be there during the interview to tell them to back off at any given moment, you're sadly mistaken."
Hannah felt the corners of her mouth tug up into a thankful smile. She knew he wasn't happy about it, but she was still grateful he'd let this go.
For now.
"Thanks, Josh."
"Yeah, yeah. Don't mention it," he grumbled, picking up the unopened water bottle, flipping it in the air and catching it his hand, "now if you'll excuse me. I have something I need to go attend to."
Hannah quirked an eyebrow, dryly asking, "are you sure that's a good idea?"
"Nope," Josh winked, "but when have I ever had one of those?"
"Good luck."
Sam & Josh - Washington Residence
Sam's mouth tasted stale.
Dry.
Slightly acidic.
She groaned a bit, the brightness of the sun bleeding through the curtains proving to be far too much for her aching, throbbing head. It felt like her brain was swollen in her skull and she was insanely dizzy.
A cold, smooth surface pressed against her forehead causing her to open her eyes and when she did, Josh was standing above her, balancing the bottom of a cold water bottle just above her eyes.
"Rise and shiiiiiine, Sunshiiiiine," he sang, and even though it was just his normal speaking volume, the heavy bass of his deep voice made Sam wince. She groaned again, smacking the water bottle away and onto the floor before yanking the covers up over her head.
"Go. Away," she demanded, muffled through the layers and layers of bed linens. When she looked down at herself under the covers, she instantly noticed she was only in her underwear. Not even a bra. She threw the blankets back off her face and glared at Josh, "why am I almost naked!?" she practically yelled. Josh rolled his eyes at her accusatory tone.
He walked a few feet away to fetch the thrown water bottle and sat it on the nightstand, along with two perfectly oblong-shaped white pills, "for your headache," he explained. Sam wasn't so worried about that right now as she blinked at her surroundings.
"And why am I in your bedroom?"
"I can assure you this was allllll your doing," he promised, crossing his arms and staring at her from a safer distance. Sam sat up slightly, keeping the covers up so he wouldn't see her boobs. His bed sheets smelled like him. She reached towards the water bottle and narrowed her eyes as she twisted off the cap.
"What happened to your face?" she said flatly.
Josh's eyebrows raised in feigned surprise as he pointed to his black eye, "oh, oh, this? This was my reward for trying to keep you from going home with a stranger last night." Sam scoffed and shook her head a the silly notion.
"No way. I would never-"
"Uh, yeah, Sam. Ya did. And I saved you, thankyouverymuch," Josh reminded her. Sam folded her lips and looked away from him, sheepishly.
"Okay, back to the nakedness-" Sam redirected, not as interested in his injury as she thought she would be - especially after hearing it was because of her. Even worse was that in her hazy recollection of the night prior, she kinda remembered that he was telling the truth. Josh took a step closer to her, his arms still crossed and his body language reeking of condescendingness.
"Well, let's see. After I refused your numerous, drunken advances-"
"Ha, you wish Washington," she snorted, bringing the water bottle to her lips but then stopped, her breath stolen from her as she embarrassingly remembered...something...like that…
"I put you to bed in the guest room last night, you woke up and insisted on sleeping in my bed. With me in it. That's about the time you stripped down, I had to make a pillow fort to protect myself from your wandering hands, and after you passed out again I left and slept on the other side of the house. I can promise you I didn't touch you." Sam seemed both mortified but also slightly relieved, that is until he grinned at her evilly and added, "but we did make out. Like… a lot."
"Nooo-" she breathed with wide eyes, looking away from him as she tried to concentrate on all the jumbled details from last night. It was all so foggy now, but she winced a bit when she slightly remembered more and more... specifically the smell of his cinnamon gum and the way he felt between her legs.
"Yes. And you told me you didn't hate me-"
"Well, now I know you're lying," Sam said sarcastically.
"Annnnyyy of this ringing a bell?" he asked, and she wondered if that was hopefulness in her eyes. She bit on her thumbnail and glanced up at him with nervous eyes before shaking her head slowly… even though she could pretty much remember everything now. Josh tried not to let the disappointment show on his face, but he felt his heart crack in his chest ever-so-slightly. This is what he had hoped wouldn't happen. He should have known it was too good to be true, Sam capable of admitting her feelings for him. Feelings he was now quite certain she didn't really have. "Right," he hiccupped, nodding. "Okay. Well… You were in pretty bad shape last night so… uh… I'm glad you're okay," he said, but his playful tone was gone now and Sam just wished he'd leave to let her clear her mind for a moment - it was hard with those big, green, wistful eyes staring at her for answers.
He wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell her that she admitted that she liked him. That she desperately wanted to be with him last night and he rejected her out of respect for her. He wanted to tell her that being with her was something he'd wanted for longer than he could even remember, now.
Sam noticed her dress and bra on the floor, so still covering herself she leaned down to scoop them up, noticing the waste bin beside the bed. Josh saw her eyeing it, "in case you puked," he shrugged. Sam clutched her clothes to her chest, nodding silently. Her eyes were smudged with eyeliner and shadow - so much so she looked like a raccoon. Her hair was wilder than he'd ever seen it.
"Um… 'kay. I'm gonna let you… do… what you need to…" he stammered awkwardly, turning to give her some privacy. He wasn't at all surprised when she called after him, so of course, he turned to see what she wanted.
"Um… I'm sorry that I got you punched," she began. He smiled, tightly.
"Yeah, don't worry about it. It was worth it. Plus, you already apologized for that last night." Sam couldn't get rid of the sick feeling in her stomach, unsure if it was the hangover or guilt for fully remembering it all and pretending she didn't just to avoid having to talk about it with him.
If you still feel this way in the morning, we can talk about it.
For some weird, stupid, insane, ridiculous reason… she did still want to talk about it.
But she couldn't bring herself to tell him that. And it kinda broke both of their hearts.
"Well… I'm sorry that you had to dodge my advances all night. And thank you for not, ya know, taking advantage of a very messed up situation." It stung a little when she put it that way. He wondered if he would ever get the way her lips felt against his out of his mind. He was at least grateful for what he did get to experience with her, even if she wasn't. His eyes locked in on a small, circular bruise on her collarbone near her neck - a hickey, more than likely from him almost taking things too far. He smiled. Proof it happened.
"Hey. No prob," he saluted, his eyes falling from hers. He wanted to run away and never look back.
"Oh and Josh?" she asked, and he turned back once more. She scrunched up her face, humorously asking him, "you didn't see me naked or anything, right?" That part she still couldn't remember. He grabbed ahold of the door handle to leave his room and twisted.
"Nah," he replied, to which Sam exhaled a sigh of relief. "No more than what I saw of you in the bath through my monitors back at the lodge," he winked, and Sam halfheartedly hurled the now-empty water bottle in his direction, only to watch it hit and bounce off of the door that he closed behind him.
To Be Continued….