AUTHOR'S NOTE: Chapter 27! Thank you to everyone who is still reading! Make sure you post a review as well!

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

The call Logan had gotten from Kelly had been painfully correct. For the next six days after Jo's accident and all of the other drama, Gustavo truly put Big Time Rush through the wringer. Hours upon hours of recording, dancing, writing, and practicing, sometimes up to the wee hours of the morning. For the maybe five of six hours per day that the guys were at home, they wandered around like zombies and then fell dead asleep until it was time to get back to Rocque Records. This, of course, left little time for Logan and Kendall to develop their...relationship? Were they in a relationship now? They didn't even know...they didn't even think about it, because the only thing running through their minds, most of the time, was work.

Sometimes, when Gustavo would be working one-on-one with Kendall, Logan would busy himself in a corner with a book, and when he'd think about it...sometimes it felt as if nothing had changed at all, as if he and Kendall hadn't declared love for one another or made love or touched each other or any of those things. But then there'd be those fleeting moments when they'd let their eyes linger on each other for a few seconds longer and they'd smile that kind of smile that made them feel like they were in their own world. Whenever they'd get home, they'd take turns showering, and it always seemed like they planned to have some kind of pillow talk before going to bed, but usually, the first person to shower would be passed out for the night by the time the second one finished up. Logan could feel that the love was still there, but it was just so hard to be sure of what was going on when there was little to no opportunity to talk about it.

There was, however, a silver lining, and that was the announcement that, after getting completely caught up in six days, Big Time Rush was officially on vacation for the rest of the summer. The guys would be free to get into whatever trouble they wanted to get into and do whatever activities they wanted to partake in. Of course, for these four, the first day off meant an all-day trip to the amusement park. Roller coasters and cotton candy and long lines and loud music and even kiddie rides. All in good fun. So much fun that, all through the day, neither Logan nor Kendall really thought or worried much about their situation. After so many days of hard work, they both just wanted to let go and have fun and not have to deal with the drama that was their lives, but when the day was done, and they were back at home, neither one could stop thoughts of the other from invading his mind.

Logan showered first and was sitting up in bed while Kendall showered. He had a book in his hand, but he wasn't even fooling himself to believe he was actually reading it. No, he was thinking about Kendall. His Kendall. But was he really "his" Kendall? That was the type of burning question that kept nagging at his brain, the type of question that he knew would keep him from sleeping that night if he didn't just say something. Now that they were on vacation, now that they would have all the time in the world, he felt it was time for them to get to business, to really figure out what they were going to do.

While Logan mentally tossed and turned, Kendall scrubbed the day's dirt off of his body and made his own plan of action. He was quite the romantic, quite the Prince Charming. After six days of working his fingers to the bone, and after a day of running around silly at an amusement park, he was ready to flex his seductive muscle. It was definitely something Jo could have attested too; Kendall Knight knew how to make a person feel special. And as he turned off the shower, all he wanted to do was make that boy in the other room feel special. He knew that the week had been a rough one for them both, and he could always tell that there was some uncertainty in Logan's eyes. Tonight, though, he wanted to make it clear where he stood as far as the two of them were concerned.

It just felt fucking silly. He was in love with this little dork for how long? And he'd kept it bottled up in secret for how long? And for what? No, he was going to love this boy now, and he was going to love him with all of his might. Too much time had already been wasted, and Kendall was just plain ready to make up for it.

"Is it just me, or has it been extremely cold in this apartment the last couple of days?" Kendall asked when he came out of the bathroom.

"I wouldn't know," Logan commented. "I've been residing at Rocque Records for most of the last week."

"Heh," Kendall chuckled.

"No, the cool air coming from the air conditioner, combined with the residual moisture from your shower, is making the room's temperature feel lower than it actually is," Logan explained in science mode. "Oh, and I think the thermostat's broken."

"Ah, that makes sense."

Logan finally put his book away and crawled back into bed. He kept his eyes on Kendall, though, who was fluffing his own pillow on the other side of the room. There was nothing Logan wanted more than to spend the night in bed with Kendall. No sex, just them being together.

"Well," Kendall said as he traversed the room to turn off the light, "it's way too cold to sleep alone."

"Oh, really?"

In the darkness, Logan could hear the click of the door locking and then Kendall's footsteps. Amidst the twilight coming in through the partially-open blinds, he could see Kendall scooping up his pillow and approaching him. His heart began to beat faster and harder. It was like Kendall had read his mind.

"Scoot over," Kendall instructed, as if this was the average, normal routine.

Logan couldn't take the big, stupid grin off of his face as he eagerly pushed over and made room for Kendall in his bed.

"The only reason why I'm doing this is because it's so cold in here," Kendall commented as he slipped into the bed. "I mean, I'm not...you know...'gay' or anything. We're just friends sharing a bed to keep warm, that's all. Nothing wrong with that."

"Oh, I understand," Logan replied. "It's totally cool."

"Yeah," Kendall continued, "and I mean...me doing this-" as he put a comfortable arm around Logan's soft midsection "-is totally normal, too. Just trying to keep warm, that's all."

"Absolutely."

"And this? This is to make sure our lips stay warm."

And he leaned in for a kiss. Logan's dopey grin was still in place when the kiss was over, and Kendall couldn't help but develop his own. It felt so good to be stupid and silly and dumb with each other, all laid up like the pair of lovers they'd always wanted to be.

"I still can't believe this," Logan whispered with a controlled excitement. "It still feels like I'm dreaming."

Kendall could only smile and kiss him again. "You must want me to pinch you, then."

"No, Kendall, don't-"

But it was too late, and Kendall was pinching all over Logan's body, sending him into a fit of boyish giggles. He felt Kendall's long, sharp fingernails bite his belly, thighs, arms, and ass, and as much as the sharp pains hurt, he wouldn't have traded the feeling for anything in the world.

"Still dreaming?" Kendall asked when he finally stopped.

"I don't know," Logan answered. "I think every minute I spend with you from now on is gonna feel like a dream."

"I think every minute I spend with you from now on is gonna feel like a Nicholas Sparks movie."

"Kendall!" Logan exclaimed, and he jabbed his best friend in the gut. "Leave me alone. I have lots of feelings, and you know that."

"Yeah, I know," Kendall replied compassionately. "I understand. It's a big deal for you to be lying around in bed with one of the sexiest men in the world."

Logan scoffed. "Oh? Hmm...I don't see Daniel Radcliffe in this bed..."

"Oh! You are funny! Remember when you used to dress like Harry Potter, Hortense?"

"I thought we agreed to never talk about that ever again."

"All right, then."

Their chuckles and giggles turned to silence, and Logan shifted so that his back was towards Kendall and they were spooning. Kendall's hand found its way under Logan's shirt and came to rest on his chest, gently massaging one of his nipples. Logan sighed.

"What?" Kendall asked.

"It's a dream, Kendall!" Logan reiterated. "None of this was supposed to happen."

"What was supposed to happen?"

"I don't know...I was supposed to get over you...and leave...and you were gonna be with Jo and get married and have kids and...I don't know."

"Would you prefer that?"

"Never!"

It should be noted that Jo had gotten much better over the week. The news of her "accident" had spread through the Palm Woods like a wildfire, but no one knew exactly why she'd tried to kill herself. Oh, everyone had their suspicions. Everyone thought they knew the real reason, but no one was brave enough (or decent enough?) to go straight to her and ask. The distance that everyone kept from her was good, though, as it allowed her to take stock of everything in her life. Unfortunately, between her "recuperating" at home and the boys always at work, neither Logan nor Kendall could check in on her. As far as they knew, she was feeling better.

"So you think Daniel Radcliffe is hot?" Kendall asked with an awkward voice.

"Oh? Uh..." Logan replied, not wanting to say the wrong thing. "I think he looks good." He didn't know if Kendall was like him and often ogled male movie stars and other celebrities, and the last thing he wanted to do was make Kendall uncomfortable.

"Yeah, he's pretty sexy" Kendall agreed. "He's no Logan Mitchell, though."

Logan petted Kendall's hand in response to let him know that he appreciated the compliment. God...it just felt so fucking good.

"What about...James and Carlos?" Kendall asked, his voice still awkward.

"What about them?" Logan asked a bit hesitantly. He hoped that Kendall didn't want to move this conversation over to the "when do we tell" discussion. He didn't want that now. He just wanted to lie in bed and play with each other and laugh and goof around and talk.

"You ever check them out?"

"Hahahaha," Logan laughed, relieved. "I guess...sometimes..."

Kendall started shaking his head. "Carlos's ass, man..."

"Yes," Logan replied in agreement. "He definitely has one of those."

"And it's fucking Kardashian-sized," Kendall added. "Remember when we were out by the pool that one day, and it was just us four, and he mooned us?"

"Oh god, yes..."

"And I said I wasn't feeling well, so I came back up here?"

"Yeah."

"I came up here and yanked my chain four times because of Carlos's ass."

"Oh my god, Kendall!" Logan shrieked, but not too loudly, at his friend's revelation.

"Yes, yes, I did. And you know what else? I did it in your bed."

Logan got stone silent. "Kendall..."

But in the darkness, he could hear Kendall's annoying chuckle. "For a second there, you totally believed me!"

Logan elbowed him in the gut. "Yeah, I did, but I forgot that you're an idiot."

"Yeah," Kendall said still laughing, "well, lucky for you, I'm an idiot who likes dorks." He moved his hand from under Logan's shirt up to his waist, petting him slowly. He started to suck a little on the tender skin of Logan's neck, making Logan coo like a baby.

"I'm so lucky," Logan sighed as he leaned back into Kendall's kisses. It felt as if he was lying on a cloud...as if Kendall was an angel...as if he was in heaven. All that he'd waited for was happening to him, and he couldn't control himself. He rolled over again and crashed his open mouth into Kendall's, wrapping his arm around Kendall's neck and drawing him even closer.

"Whoa shit," Kendall remarked when Logan finally let him go. "Let me guess. You're still dreaming?"

"Still dreaming."

"If that's how you dream, then I'm cool with it."

Kendall's green eyes glowed. He felt so much love radiating between their two bodies, and he knew that he'd made the right choice. Baring his soul to Logan...telling him how he felt, letting Logan own him...it was all worth it. Whatever he'd have to deal with later on, it didn't matter, because being here with Logan now was worth every minute of pain he'd have to endure.

"Kendall?" Logan asked tentatively, as if he was unsure about asking his next question.

"What's the matter?" Kendall asked.

"Nothing. It's just...I don't know...what are we now? Are we two friends who happen to be...you know, gay...who love each other...or are we...?"

"Heh," Kendall chuckled. "The 'B' word."

"Yeah," Logan said. "The 'B' word."

"I think it says a lot that we can't even say it."

"Heh...it feels weird calling you that. I mean, all of this is weird. Every part of it feels weird. It feels right...so, so right, but at the same time...it just feels like a...well, you know."

"A dream."

"Right."

"Well, then...what do you think we should call each other?"

"I don't know," Logan said. "I mean...that sorta depends on what we are. It feels weird calling us anything when you consider we've never even gone on a date together. And even that, the idea of us going on a date, no matter how much I've dreamed about it, it still feels weird."

"Psh, we've gone on lots of dates together. Think about all of the times we went to the movies without Carlos and James. Or the park or the beach or out for lunch or anything else. Those were all dates."

"Kendall..."

"What? I'm serious! How were those not dates?"

"Because! That was just us...being friends, best friends. Best friends do those types of things together."

Kendall sighed. "We might have been best friends on the outside, but on the inside...I think we both were thinking along the lines of something else."

"I guess."

"And besides! We've been knowing each other since we were in the fourth grade. We've talked about things that most guys won't talk to each other about. I love you, Logan. You love me. That's all it takes. And you know what? I'm going to say it. I'm going to go right ahead and be the first one to say it. You? You're my boyfriend. And I'm yours."

"Oh, Kendall..."

"I've been loving you too damn long and we've been wasting too much time to not just call it what it is. We're together. In a relationship. We can make it Facebook official as soon as we tell people."

"We don't have to tell anyone until you're ready."

"I know...and I promise, I'll be ready soon. I promise. Now that I have you in my arms, I feel like I want to just tell the whole wide world. I'm in love with you, and I always have been." He paused for a minute, then, with a enterprising tone, he asked, "Say it, Logan. Say that you're my boyfriend."

"I'm your boyfriend," Logan said slowly. "Your boyfriend," he repeated. "I'm Logan Mitchell...and I'm Kendall Knight's boyfriend." A cold shiver went through his body, and he leaned in for a kiss. He then rolled back over into the warm pocket Kendall had created for him, ready to receive more of Kendall's neck kisses. But just as Kendall began to fondle his chest again, a vibration shook the nightstand across the room.

"Don't answer it," Logan begged. "Please don't..." Kendall obeyed his order and kept kissing his neck, ignoring the vibrating phone. Soon, it stopped vibrating, but then a singular vibration occurred closer, on Logan's nightstand.

"Maybe it's something important," Kendall suggested as he reached for his new boyfriend's cell phone and handed it to him.

Logan fumbled with the phone in the darkness until he was able to see that he'd received a text message.

"if ur w kendall, plz tell him to come see me n the AM. i swear its all good...u can come 2 if u want. just wanna update u guys."

"It's from Jo," Logan announced. "She...wants to see you in the morning. Something about news she has to share."

Kendall immediately rolled his eyes and got distant. "How did I know that she would find a way to fuck this up?"

"Come on, Kendall," Logan defended. "It's been a whole week since everything happened..."

"So?"

"And she told me that she's...you know...okay with whatever we decide to do."

Kendall groaned. Truth be told, he didn't want anything to do with Jo because he didn't want the complications. Now that he had his mind set on being with Logan and dealing with all the mess that he'd have to deal with in order to be with Logan, he didn't want his head to be turned by Jo and her needs and wants. But Logan knew how to get under his skin, and with just a turn of a phrase, he'd always been able to get Kendall to see his point of view.

"I think you should talk to her, Kendall," Logan insisted. "She's been shoved up in her room for a week. I know that nobody's gone to visit her because everyone's scared."

Kendall groaned again, but he knew he'd lost. "Okay. I'll go see her. Fine. But if she starts talking shit, I won't be responsible for any hurt feelings. That's a promise."

Logan kept his mouth closed. He knew that Kendall's hostility was only a matter of him being afraid to face Jo after everything that had happened. He knew Kendall's strength, though, and he knew that a meeting with Jo would only benefit him - and them as a couple - in the long run.

"I love you, Logan," Kendall whispered as he continued to pet Logan's hip under the covers, but there was a desperate tint to his voice. Who was he trying to reassure? Logan or himself? "I mean it."

"I love you, too, Kendall."

"You're my boyfriend."

"And I'm your boyfriend."

"Thanks for coming over."

"Yeah."

As Jo led Kendall into the living room, she could already tell that this was going to be awkward, but it was also necessary. She would have never been comfortable with the plans she'd made for herself if she didn't have this one last chat with Kendall.

"Coffee?" she offered. "Or soda? Or whatever you want to drink..."

"I'm good," he said, effortlessly keeping up that asshole facade. He sat on the sofa while Jo got herself a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

No matter how intentionally cold Kendall was, Jo seemed to be undisturbed. Oh, she could sense that he was trying to be as distant as possible, but it didn't change her disposition. It looked like she was on a mission, and she was determined to complete it.

"I hear you guys have been working overtime," she casually commented when she sat on the chair next to Kendall's sofa. "You look tired."

"I am tired," Kendall replied. "Which is why I wish you'd just say what you need to say."

Jo smirked as she sipped. "I think it's funny that you're now rushing people to say what they need to say."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"How long did it take for you to say what you needed to say to Logan?"

Feeling properly put in his place, Kendall settled into his seat. "That's really none of your business."

"No, it's not," Jo agreed. "But I do think it's funny." She put her bottle on a coaster on the coffee table and took a deep breath. "I've been doing a lot of thinking, Kendall. I mean...a lot of thinking. Today is the first day in a week that I've been out of my room for more than two or three hours. I've just been stuck in my room, in my bed, bored out of my misery, and forced to think. Here's the deal. I...don't blame you. I don't blame Logan. I don't blame anyone. Not even myself."

Kendall's right eye twitched a little. Damn it. He didn't want her to be rational and calm and sensible. He wanted to come here and argue. He wanted her to be a crazy bitch so that he could finally kiss her goodbye and never have to worry about her again. But here she was...making sense.

"I take responsibility for my actions, don't get me wrong," she continued. "And...well, I know that deep down, you're taking responsibility for yours, and Logan is taking responsibility for his. But the main point is that I'm taking responsibility for mine. It's time for me to stop depending on others for my own happiness."

"Jo, you didn't do anything wrong," Kendall cut in, but not willingly. He didn't want the words to escape from his mouth, but they did.

"That's nice of you, Kendall, but we know that's not true."

He just nodded.

"I just want you to understand that I'm not mad at anyone. I mean...there are things that I can think about that'll make me mad." She paused, looked slightly to the left of where Kendall sat. "You should have told me something, Kendall. You should have given me just a little bit of the truth instead of making a fool out of me."

"I know. And I'm sorry."

"But," she said, returning her eyes to his, "I allowed it to happen. I knew something wasn't right...I had my suspicions about you and Logan. At some point, I even just accepted that it was true."

"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked her, as if her saying something would have solved everyone's problems. "If you had suspicions, you should have just asked me!"

"And what would you have told me, Kendall? That it was stupid of me? That the whole thing was wrong? Or would you have told me the truth?"

"I don't know what I would have told you, but it would have at least stopped things from going as far as they did last week." His voice very quiet. "You could have died, Jo."

"I know that," she said, her strength cracking for just a second. "But Kendall, nobody's perfect. Nobody always knows the right thing to do or the right choice to make. We all mess up at some point. The goal isn't to be perfect. It's to live with our mistakes...and use them to grow."

Deep, deep thoughts, courtesy of Jo Taylor. Kendall was impressed, but he was also dismayed. He didn't want to feel sorry for her. This was just a part of her scheme, wasn't it? Make him feel sorry for her, and then he'll want to be with her again, right?

"I'm being honest, Kendall," she told him. "This is me being open as can be, not holding anything back. You might as well call me Gretchen right now."

That made him chuckle a little bit.

"Jesus Christ, Kendall," she said, glad to see him smile. "Gretchen and Hortense? I think you have a thing for old people names."

He let himself laugh a little louder. "You know any hot chicks named Delores?"

"I have a cousin named Edgar..."

They both laughed.

"Yeah, I always had my suspicions about you and Logan," Jo said. Kendall tensed up a bit, but he could see that he was more worried than she was. "I never saw two guys who spent so much freaking time together who weren't secretly jonesing for each other."

"Well..."

Their eyes met, and Jo got serious again. "I never saw a guy who cared so much about another guy, either. It's...it's real special."

Kendall felt guilty as fuck. "Jo, I'm sorry...I never gave you everything you needed."

"Oh," she smiled as she reached for her water. "No apologies necessary. You didn't give me everything I needed, but you gave me everything you could give, and that was good enough."

"You'll meet a guy who'll love you more than I ever could."

"I'm sure I will," she agreed nonchalantly. "But right now, I'm not focusing too much on trying to get a guy or trying to be everything a guy wants me to be. I think I'm gonna try to figure out who Gretchen is...or Jo...or whoever."

Kendall nodded, understanding exactly what she meant and agreeing with her just the same. It was crazy what attempted suicide and a week of isolation could do to a person's mindset.

"When I'm ready, I'll get back out there again," she continued. "Besides, I'm sure North Carolina is crawling with guys who'd like to date a TV star."

"Yeah," Kendall replied before really hearing what she'd said. "Wait...North Carolina?"

"Yes, Kendall. That's the other thing I wanted to tell you. I'm going back home. Effective immediately."

Kendall let the news sink in. She was going home because of the embarrassment...the embarrassment he'd caused. She was running away from the life she'd made for herself in California, and it was all his fault.

"I can't deal with Hollywood anymore. Too much drama, and I don't mean of the scripted and filmed variety," she elaborated. "This place is just not where I need to be right now. I need to get away from the parties and the drugs and the drinking and the douchebags and...everything."

"But what about New Town High? You can't just leave the show."

"They'll figure it out. Remember, our season ended with a cliffhanger. Everybody was headed to Cancun for vacation, but the plane crashed, and the audience was left wondering who died and who survived. Well...I guess my character's gonna be one of the dead ones. Besides, I just need to leave. My sanity depends on it. And please, don't think it's because of you."

"To be honest, it's gonna be pretty hard for me to not think it's because of me. I feel like everything is all my fault. Everything you've gone through...everything Logan's been through. It's all on me."

Jo's silence was her agreement. Yeah, she'd thought a lot, and she'd straightened a lot of things out in her mind, but there were still parts of her that weren't completely ready to forgive or forget. But she knew how to control them, how to keep them in check.

"It's not all on you," she told him warmly. "I did a good job of screwing up my life all on my own."

There was silence as Jo finished her water and Kendall just stared into space. Growing up sucked. It truly, truly sucked.

"So," Jo said, rising to her feet. "I may be leaving, but I don't want to lose touch. I'm gonna buy your CDs and posters and magazine covers and everything. No hard feelings."

Kendall stood up and smiled. "No hard feelings?"

"None."

"Are you going to say goodbye to everyone?"

"Eh," Jo shrugged. "Let them think I was put away in an institution."

"Ha. Well, I was thinking more about...uh..."

"Logan? No, I think Logan and I are done. We talked when I was in the hospital. It wasn't long, but I think it was sufficient for both of us. I'm at peace with him."

"Oh."

Awkward silence as they stood. Kendall kept tugging on the edge of his shirt, and Jo kept cracking her knuckles. Neither one wanted to just end this anticlimactically, with no type of real closure, but what was there to do or say?

"I'm gonna miss you, Ken Doll," she said, and she gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Make sure you treat him right."

"Make sure the guy you end up with treats you right."

"I will," she promised. "I'll tell him that I have a big, strong boy band singer who'll kick his ass if he hurts me."

Kendall laughed, and Jo walked him to the door. "Bye, Gretchen," he said before stepping out of the apartment. "Promise me you'll be good."

"I'll be good, Kendall," she assured him with a twinkle in her eye that he hadn't seen in years. "And I really mean it this time."

NOTE: Looks like the worst is over, right? Time will tell. It's interesting, though, what Logan said about them never having gone on a date. You know it doesn't take much for Kendall to get an idea and run with it. New chapter will be up tomorrow!