Emma stepped back from the Christmas tree, examining her work. The ornaments – gold and shades of red, a few so dark they almost looked black – were spaced out, leaving gaps for her coworkers to hang their Christmas wishes, but it didn't look empty. Satisfied, Emma began laying things out on the table, first the ornaments, paper, pens, and stuffing options, and then the five photos she had picked out from Killian's first year with the company.
Killian had taken three Christmas assignments that year – the Boston Ballet's annual production of The Nutcracker, a day at Boston's annual Christmas Market, and the Blink! Holiday Light Show at Faneuil Hall. He had also attended Midnight Mass at the Cathedral of the Holy Cross, and Emma had learned that Killian never went anywhere without his camera, assignment or not. That gave her four Christmas photos taken by Killian that year. A ballerina alone on stage, standing on pointe, with fake snow falling all around her; a young woman looking at handmade glass blown ornaments; a little boy laughing in the glow of the flashing lights; a black and white photo of the priest in full Christmas garb, waving the thurible, thin tendrils of fragrance wafting from it. The last picture for that year was one of Killian that David had taken in black and white at their Christmas party that year. He was holding a Santa had, long fingers wrapped around the puff of white at the top, and he was looking down at it seriously, like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Emma picked up the framed photo, resisting the urge to run her thumb over printed Killian's sad looking face.
"It's a pretty good picture, if I do say so myself," David laughed, stepping up behind Emma and giving her a side hug.
"For someone who doesn't take pictures of people much," Emma teased, putting down the photo and returning David's hug.
Baby Henry was snug in a little Baby Bjorn, blinking up at Emma and looking much wiser than a mere three months old. He was a serious baby, crying rarely and not often babbling like other babies did. It was almost like he was listening and watching, cataloguing everything in his memory so he would have stories to tell later.
"Think he's gonna like all this?" David asked, nodding at the decorations around the room.
"Probably not," Emma shrugged, "but I barely know him. You're his friend, what do you think?"
"I don't know that Killian really has any friends, to be honest," David answered seriously. "He keeps himself pretty isolated. I'm sure he'll be a little embarrassed by all this, but I don't think he'll be upset. He just doesn't like to be in the spotlight."
"Photography was a good choice for him then," Emma smiled.
She turned and saw that a number of people had arrived while she had been talking to David, all milling about and looking at the stations they had set up. It was a bit early for karaoke, before anyone had any drinks, so there was some Christmas music playing lightly, but all the other stations were in full swing. She drifted through the room for a little while, chatting with her coworkers and fulfilling whatever duty she might have as co-planner of the party.
When Emma had made the rounds and spent a sufficient amount of time talking to people, she found herself back at the wishing tree table. A few baubles had been hung, filled with beads and glitter and the hopes of her coworkers. Emma grabbed a pen and quickly scrawled two words on one of the little slips of paper. She folded it carefully and stuffed it into the bauble, adding some gold tinsel and sprigs of holly berries. She checked to make sure that the paper couldn't be read, and when she was satisfied, she closed it, and hung it on the tree. Her eyes wandered to the photos on the table once more, transfixed by their beauty.
"So, what'd you wish for?"
Emma jumped a little at the voice, and turned to see Killian standing unnervingly close. She could feel his warm breath on her neck, and see how many different shades of blue there were in his eyes.
"If I tell you, isn't that bad luck?" she asked, avoiding his question.
"Only if you believe that," Killian answered with a smile.
"Better not to risk it," Emma said, stepping to the side so Killian could write a wish if he wanted to.
Killian moved toward the table bending over it to write his wish, and then crumpling it into a loose ball for his ornament. He carefully threaded a short strand of battery-powered lights through the opening, and then dropped some red and white ribbons inside. Satisfied, he hung the ornament on the tree, just a few branches over from Emma's. He stepped back and seemed to notice the framed photos on the table for the first time.
"Your pictures are great," Emma said, breaking the silence and nearly wincing at how lame it sounded.
"Thank you," Killian replied automatically, as he reached for the one David had taken. "I don't think I've ever seen this one before."
"Your first Christmas here," she answered, though she was sure he knew that. "David took it at the Christmas party I think."
"Aye, I remember it," he mused, lost in thought. "He captured the moment well, though I can't say I'm glad he did."
"Why not?" Emma asked, confused by his words.
"It wasn't a particularly good year." He didn't explain for a few moments, his eyes glazing over as he reminisced. "My wife was killed, earlier that year, so it was my first Christmas without her."
"Killian, I'm so sorry," she said, reaching out and touching his arm tentatively.
"It's been a long time," he answered, as if saying that it didn't matter anymore.
"Some losses never leave us," Emma replied, and Killian smiled slightly.
Mary Margaret watched Emma and Killian talking from the cookie decorating station, and she could practically see electricity sizzling in the air. She knew Emma hated meddling, but sometimes everyone needed a little push. So Mary Margaret excused herself and went over to the karaoke table, quickly editing the sign up sheet.
"So I was thinking," Mary Margaret said sweetly, cozying up to the pair of them, and looping an arm around each, "that it would be really good if the coordinator of the party and the subject of it opened the karaoke with a nice little duet."
"That's a great idea, you should do it," Emma answered sarcastically, not at all keen to get up and sing in front of her coworkers.
"I was thinking it should be you," she replied innocently, as if it weren't the most blatant set up.
"But you're the party's planner," Emma argued, even though she knew it was useless. The whole coordinator thing was just a charade, an innocent excuse to push them both together.
"Oh, I don't think David would like it if I did karaoke with someone else," Mary Margaret scoffed, flapping her hand in dismissal. "He can be very jealous sometimes."
It was a huge lie and Emma knew it, though maybe Killian didn't. David had been engaged to another woman – Abigail something – when he and Mary Margaret had met, and he'd broken things off three months before the wedding to be with her. For Emma, it reinforced how fickle and fleeting romantic feelings could be, but for David it had quite the opposite effect. He always said something in him had just known that Mary Margaret was the other half of his heart, of his soul, and no one else could ever be as right for him. He was so confident, so sure in their relationship, that Emma didn't think he had ever experienced a moment of jealousy.
"Come on," Mary Margaret pressed, pushing them both towards the little stage that was set up along one wall. "The song is going to start any second now."
With a light chuckle, Killian shrugged and hopped up onto the platform, grabbing one of the two mic stands and adjusting the height like he was a real professional who cared about everything being just right. Emma sighed heavily and shot a glare at Mary Margaret before joining Killian and trying to mentally prepare herself for what was surely about to be a very embarrassing episode.
Emma stood next to Killian on the little stage feeling very awkward, a spotlight warming her skin to an uncomfortable degree. Music began to play, the sound of drums and maybe a violin, and words began to scroll across the screen in front of them. She didn't recognize the song, but from the smile that flitted across Killian's face, he did, and she wasn't about to let him show her up. Still, she let him start them off, so she could get a feel for the tune.
"Stockings are hung with care, the children sleep with one eye open," he crooned, his voice as smooth as good whiskey, and Emma's jaw nearly hit the floor at the sound of it. Damn, he was good. "Now there's more than toys at stake, 'cause I'm older now but not done hoping..."
He looked at Emma and winked subtly as the music continued between verses, and she readied for her cue.
"The twinkling of the lights, the scent of candles fill the household," Emma sang, clear and high, reading the words as they came up in front of her. What the hell was this sappy song? "Old saint Nick has taken flight, with a heart on board so please be careful."
More music twinkled between them and Emma took a deep breath, ready for the chorus and whatever sappy love lyrics Mary Margaret had chosen for them.
"Each year I ask for many different things, but now I know what my heart wants you to bring," they both sang, perfectly harmonized. Emma couldn't help but toss Killian an incredulous look at just how good they sounded together (which was mostly his doing). "So please just fall in love with me this Christmas. There's nothing else that I would need this Christmas, won't be wrapped under the tree. I want something that lasts forever, so kiss me on this cold December night..."
Emma felt like the words of the song were starting to weasel their way into her mind, because suddenly she couldn't help but stare at Killian's lips, trying to imagine how soft they must be.
"A cheer that smells of pine, a house that's filled with joy and laughter... the mistletoe says stand in line, loneliness is what I've captured...' A fleeting look of pain crossed his face, and it occurred to Emma that maybe Killian had a very good reason not to like Christmas. Perhaps he was just as lonely as she was, if she let herself be honest. "Oh but this evening can be a holy night. Let's cozy up on our fireplace, and dim those Christmas lights..."
Killian smiled at Emma and waggled his eyebrows suggestively, but Emma was learning to see through him, and she could see how the smile was forced, how his eyes lacked the brightness that he was able to capture so well in other people. She coupled her voice with his, until it sounded like they were doing an intricate dance together, lilting and tumbling in unison.
"So please just fall in love with me this Christmas. There's nothing else that you will need this Christmas, won't be wrapped under the tree. I want something that lasts forever, so kiss me on this cold December night..."
The second time around, the chorus came out more like a prayer than the meaningless words of a silly Christmas karaoke song. Emma felt every second of her silly crush on Killian rising up within her at once, crashing over her like a tsunami of emotion and desire. Her heart was racing, and she could feel a flush spreading across her cheeks, as Killian stared at her with intensity.
"They call it the season of giving, I'm here, yours for the taking," Emma breathed, her eyes fixed on Killian's. "They call it the season of giving, I'm here ,I'm yours..."
"Just fall in love with me this Christmas. There's nothing else that we will need this Christmas, won't be wrapped under a tree," they sang, finding a rhythm together. "I want something that lasts forever, 'cause I don't wanna be alone tonight. I'm wearing our Christmas sweater, while talking to the mistletoe tonight. I want something that lasts forever, so kiss me on this cold December night..."
The music danced and turned into something magical, like the sound of snow falling and a sleigh sliding silently through it, before slowing for the final words.
"They call it the season of giving, I'm here, yours for the taking," Emma repeated, finding more meaning in the words than she would have liked. She felt the intensity in her own gaze, matched in Killian's blue eyes. "They call it the season of giving, I'm here –"
"I'm yours," he joined in, and Emma couldn't help but wonder if the words were real or just prescribed by the song.
Emma felt like she had a lump in her throat as the last notes of the music drifted into nothing, and the spotlight on them began to fade. Something in the words of the song had awaken in her feelings that she frankly would have preferred stayed dormant. As she looked at Killian, she felt her heart beat more quickly than she thought possible, and it seemed impossible that no one else could see it pounding away in her chest.
They stepped off the stage with everyone's eyes on them, and Emma felt the immediate need to be somewhere more private. She strode quickly toward the back hallway and pushed open the heavy metal door that served as an emergency exit (though she knew the alarm wasn't turned on). The air had cooled off significantly, so much that it felt like it might even snow before dawn came. It felt good on her skin, which was far too hot from the spotlight and maybe also because of Killian and they way he made her heart beat fast.
"Swan!" he called, bursting out of the door behind Emma and almost colliding with her. "Are you alright?"
He reached out to brush his fingers lightly along her arm, and she felt like her skin was electric where it met his. She turned to face him more fully, and quickly found herself drowning in his blue eyes, looking at her with entirely too much emotion in them.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Emma replied, shaking her head lightly to clear it and conjuring up a smile. "Just a little hot, that's all."
"Are you sure, love?"
Killian took a step closer to her, his eyes flicking to her lips, and Emma's breath hitched. Her imagination was running wild again, and she was so tempted to act on it, to make one (or more) of her fantasies come true.
"Swan?" he prompted, bringing her back to reality.
He was even closer now, enough that she could feel his body heat radiating off of him like a beacon, and she gave a little involuntary shiver, wishing that she had a coat.
"I just... needed some air," she reaffirmed, swaying into his space slightly. "It was all... the song, and the lights, and... it was just too much."
"Aye, it got a bit intense," he replied, smiling radiantly. "But I didn't not mean it. We don't know each other very well, but I very much would like to change that. Emma, I –"
Emma closed the distance between them, her fingers wrapping around the lapels of his jacket as she crashed her lips into his. It took a second of surprise before he was responding, his lips moving against hers while one hand tangled in her hair and the other drifted across the contours of her back. He pulled her close to him and turned slightly, forcing her to follow, never breaking their kiss, and then walked her backward, until her back met the hard surface of the building's brick wall. She gasped slightly, and Killian used the opportunity to slide his tongue across her lips, dipping inside. Emma hitched her right leg up around Killian's thigh, enough to allow him to settle between her legs, pressing deliciously against her. His hand slipped under her shirt, fingertips running across her skin tentatively, until Emma squeezed her leg tighter around him in encouragement, a soft moan escaping from her mouth into his, and then he palmed her waist, fingers pressing into her skin. Killian's hand trailed upward, cupping her breast and drawing out another moan from her.
"Killian?"
They flew apart like caught teenagers, Emma quickly pulling her shirt down and trying to look anywhere but at the stranger who had just opened the door and found them in the middle of making out.
"L-Liam?" Killian stammered, his expression changing from purely shocked to shocked and very, very happy. "What on earth are you doing here?"
"I was told this party was to celebrate you, little brother," Liam answered, and his tone sound angry, or maybe disappointed. "I came all the way from Ft. Bragg for this, had to ask permission for a special leave and everything."
"I didn't know," Killian whispered, looking every bit like a small child being scolded.
"And I get here to find you ignoring the lovely party that's been put together in your honor, all to take up with this... this..." Liam was starting to pace, his hands gesticulating wildly.
"Emma," Killian provided, hoping to prevent Liam from calling her something he couldn't take back.
"I don't care about the latest in your long line of dalliances, brother!" Liam nearly exploded.
Emma took that as her cue to leave, and she slipped away into the shadows, moving through the alleyway toward the front of the warehouse as quickly as she could.
"Liam, if I had known you were coming," she heard Killian plead from a distance. "Can't we just forget about this and enjoy the time we have together?"
If Killian wanted to forget about this, Emma could certainly oblige him. It would be easier than peanut butter and jelly to avoid Killian, and Emma felt sure that in a few days, she could completely erase this incident from her memory. She felt embarrassed and angry and about fifty other things, but the general gist of it was that she felt like shit.
Emma didn't hear what Killian said to his older brother as they turned to go back inside. He put a hand on Liam's shoulder, stopping him with one hand on the door, holding it open.
"Emma's not a dalliance," he insisted, blue eyes brimming with sincerity. "She's different, special, substantial."'
"Yes, she seemed like it," Liam answered, dryly.
"Liam, I mean it, she could be... I don't know, she could be something," Killian said, looking off into the alleyway. "She makes me feel again."
"I'm sorry, little brother," Liam replied, having the decency to look ashamed of the way he behaved.
"Let's get inside, perhaps you can meet Emma more... properly," Killian suggested, grinning at his brother, now that they had made peace. "And you can apologize to her."
Inside, Emma found her coat as quickly as possible, shoving her arms through the sleeves violently and wrapping her scarf around her neck. She spotted David nearby, chatting with Elsa, and she made her way over to them.
"Hey, I'm going to duck out early," Emma said to David, shifting uncomfortably under his gaze. "I don't think the eggnog agreed with me, so I'm gonna head home."
"Are you okay?" David asked, his eyes laced with concern. "Do you need a ride?"
"Nah, I'm fine, I've got the bug," Emma answered, pasting a smile on her face. "Just let Mary Margaret know?"
"Of course," he answered, nodding. "Do you want us to bring you anything?"
"No, seriously, it's nothing, I just need to lie down and maybe have some water," Emma insisted, starting to back away.
"Okay, well feel better!" David called as Emma turned and walked away, tossing a wave goodbye behind her.
She felt absolutely awful, but it wasn't indigestion, or anything to do with eggnog. She felt like her heart had just been pounded with the world's heaviest mallet, and it was entirely her own stupidity that had led to it. One silly song and an ill-advised make out session and Emma had been ready to swoon for Killian. In a way, she was grateful that his brother had interrupted them, and prevented something even more regrettable from happening.
Emma felt irritable and keyed up as she made her way back to her apartment, cursing herself and Killian for being stupid, Liam for interrupting, and Mary Margaret for interfering in the first place. She slammed the door of her apartment shut behind her and collapsed in her bed, groaning in frustration. Half of her already regretted that she had made out with Killian, but half of her wished she could have taken him home to satisfy her the way she had no doubt he could. She closed her eyes and reached down, fingers trying to relieve some of the tension built up inside.
At the party, Killian led his brother around, halfheartedly introducing him to the people who he was most acquainted with, all the while looking around for Emma. He thought he saw her for a moment, but it was Elsa, and Killian couldn't help the sinking feeling in his chest. He wasn't sure why he was so attached to Emma, after all, he barely knew her, beyond the occasional email they exchanged when his paychecks were ready. But something in him just called out for her, and he felt a kind of attachment to her that he hadn't felt for anyone in a long time.
"David!" Killian called out to his friend (or at least the closest person he had to a friend these days). "Have you seen Ms. Swan?"
"Yeah, Emma left about an hour ago, why?" David asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.
"We were just having an interesting conversation that got interrupted, that's all," Killian answered, before excusing himself politely.
He wandered through the party, lost in his own thoughts. Had Emma left because she regretted what had transpired between them? Had she been offended by Liam's words? Was he reading too much into her sudden disappearance? Without meaning to, Killian found himself by the wishing tree, eyeing the many ornaments that were hung. Throughout the night, it seemed that almost the entire office had hung ornaments with wishes in its branches. He reached out and ran his fingers over the ornament he had seen Emma hang earlier, thinking intently about her.
Without thinking, but careful to make sure that no one was watching, Killian carefully plucked Emma's bauble from the wishing tree, and tucked it in his pocket for safekeeping. He had resolved to do his best to make Emma's wish come true, however small or large it was.
A/N: Thank you for reading! If you liked this, and would like to donate to me Ko-Fi account, please go to ko-fi dot com /owlwaysandforever! If not - I love and appreciate you anyway!