Chapter 6 got really long, so I decided to split it into two and post 6A now to tide you over while I do final editing on 6B (which should be up tomorrow).

Fair warning (especially if you're a diehard Klainer): This chapter is all set in 2016 and tells the story of the breakup that Blaine spoke about in the last chapter. It's not sunshine and rainbows (or should I make that klainebows) and Kurt doesn't necessarily come out of it looking too good. Keep in mind though, that this is Blaine's POV. Apparently this whole chapter kept my beta up half the night (oops, sorry Vanessa). So don't say I didn't warn you. :)

On a lighter note: The Goo Goo Dolls lyric this time is from Big Machine, and the song referenced in the beginning is The Luckiest by Ben Folds, because Blaine is huge sap.

I'm in love but you don't care

2016

.

It happened on the last Thursday of June.

Blaine was wandering around the frozen foods area of their local supermarket, trying to pick out something quick and easy for dinner that night, when his phone went off, a familiar gentle piano melody signalling an incoming call from one Kurt Hummel.

Blaine couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face upon seeing his boyfriend's name on the display. More than five years into the relationship, Kurt still did this to him. Blaine let the phone ring a couple more seconds, just to hear the first few words of the song, before he picked it up. An elderly, somewhat sour-looking woman sent him a perplexed look. Right, he must look a little weird, standing in the middle of the supermarket, smiling at a ringing phone. Blaine did not much care.

'Hi sweetie,' Blaine greeted his boyfriend softly, noticing the woman now smiling approvingly before moving past him, and he thought he might have just single-handedly restored her faith in youth.

'Hey,' Kurt breathed, clearly excited about something. 'You took a long time to answer. I thought it was gonna go to voice-mail.'

'Sorry,' Blaine grinned. They had been through this before. In fact when Blaine had first chosen the song for his ringtone, Kurt had rolled his eyes and muttered something about "cheesiness", but Blaine had simply shrugged and said that it was how he felt – lucky – which had softened Kurt considerably.

'You know, I'm not sure how much I like having my own ringtone if it means you're just going to listen to the song instead of talking to me.' Kurt's tone was light, teasing. 'Do you love Ben Folds more than me?'

'There's nothing I love more than you.' Blaine stated it matter-of-factly like so many times before, but he still thought he could sense Kurt's blush on the other end (and how was that even possible?). 'Anyway, was there something you wanted? Not that I don't love to talk to you in the middle of the supermarket, but I should probably-'

'I got it!' Kurt blurted, and Blaine just about exploded on his boyfriend's behalf.

'You got-? Did- Really?'

'Really.' Kurt's voice was shaking with glee. 'They called me just now. And they want me. Me.'

'Oh my god, that's amazing. I can't believe it!' Blaine all but squealed, way beyond caring that people were staring at him as he began pacing down the aisle, unable to stand still. 'Well, I can actually believe it, 'cause you're amazing, so of course they want you. I'm just, you know, yay,' he said as all other words failed him. He stopped to breathe again. 'I'm so happy for you.'

'I know, I can't believe it either. I'm going to LA! I don't know what to do with myself right now. I think I'm still processing.' Kurt laughed a little and Blaine joined him.

'I hear you. If I'm this excited, I can't even imagine what you must be feeling.' Blaine passed the same old lady from before and when their eyes met briefly he smiled politely at her. 'I'm so proud of you, Kurt. My boyfriend's a TV star!' he exclaimed excitedly into the phone, and for a second he thought the woman was about to turn away in disgust, but then she just smiled fondly at him before getting on with her shopping. This was a good day.

'I don't know about star, but it's a terrific opportunity.'

'Definitely,' Blaine agreed. 'And you know no matter what happens you'll always be my star. Hey listen,' he said as an idea struck him. 'I gotta run. See you tonight?'

'Yep. Guess I should go talk to my boss and give my two weeks notice. See you later. Love you.'

'Love you, too.'

Blaine hung up and strode straight over to the butcher's section of the supermarket, where he bought half a dozen of the best steaks he could find. Screw the budget. This called for celebration.

.

.

When Kurt came home from work that evening, Blaine surprised him by having cooked a delicious meal (okay, it wasn't as good as Kurt would have made it, but Blaine couldn't exactly have asked Kurt to cook his own surprise dinner). He had made sure that Rachel and their other roommate, Max, were home and he had invited over Charlie, a close friend of Kurt's from college, and Tina, who had also gone to New York after high school.

'What's this?' Kurt asked as he hung his jacket, his lips curling into a confused smile.

'This is to celebrate.' Blaine pecked Kurt on the lips and smiled brightly at him. 'You.'

Dinner was an enjoyable affair, all excited talk, laughs and questions about Kurt's show (half of which he couldn't or wasn't allowed to answer). Rachel gushed about what an amazing opportunity it was; the amount of experience Kurt would get, not to mention exposure. Blaine found it kind of adorable how hard she tried not to talk about it all in relation to herself, though she did eventually turn the conversation to auditions she herself has been going to and one particular musical that looked promising ('Off Broadway, but still').

Charlie (who Blaine had internally dubbed "the gayest straight man" he knew) had graduated with Kurt that summer and he didn't even try to hide his jealousy, but he was also adamant that Kurt definitely deserved the break. Max was a history major and confessed that he knew nothing about this sort of stuff, but he joined in the celebration anyway ('Plus, you know, free food.'). Tina was sweet as always and after a couple of glasses of wine she got a little teary-eyed and started waxing poetic about the old days and how far Kurt had come. Blaine spent most of the night quietly watching his boyfriend. He was practically glowing.

'So guys, how are you going to handle being apart?' Max asked, when they were halfway through dessert. 'I mean, it's literally thousands of miles, isn't it?'

Blaine felt Kurt tense next to him, and he looked a bit like a deer caught in the headlights, but Blaine just shrugged. It had crossed his mind that it was going to be difficult, what with Kurt in Los Angeles and Blaine in New York, still a year short of graduating himself – of course it had. Tonight, however, was about celebrating his boyfriend's success, not moaning about the difficult year they had ahead of them.

'A lot of flying back and forth, I suppose. And lots and lots of Skyping.' He smiled. 'We'll manage. We always do.' Blaine covered Kurt's hand on the table with his own, squeezing reassuringly.

Later when Tina and Charlie had left and Max and Rachel had retreated to their respective rooms, Kurt and Blaine lay together in bed, naked limbs tangled up in each other and hands roaming freely. Blaine had settled on top of Kurt, kissing his way down Kurt's body.

'You're really not worried?' Kurt asked then, and Blaine's kisses came to a halt on Kurt's abdomen as Blaine looked up. 'About us?'

'No,' Blaine said firmly. 'Why would I be? We've done this before, remember.'

'But-' Kurt opened his mouth, but Blaine swallowed his protests with a searing kiss on the lips.

'Shh, not now, okay? We haven't had the obligatory celebratory sex yet, and I really don't think I can get it up if we're discussing red-eyes and Skype calls.'

Kurt quirked an eyebrow, but had to stifle a giggle and struggled to keep his voice even, mock-serious. 'Really? The sex is obligatory?'

'Yes, when your boyfriend gets cast in the huge new show, that everyone's talking about, you are honor bound to fuck his brains out as a reward.' Blaine adopted his dapper prep school boy persona, and he might have been reciting The Warblers' rule book, except his words were ridiculous (which, granted, some of the Warbler rules had been as well) 'It's the rule.'

Kurt smirked up at him for a second before he suddenly, and with a strength that really should not surprise Blaine anymore, flipped them both around, so Blaine was now on his back, Kurt on top of him.

'I think you need to brush up on the rules, because I'm pretty sure you've got that backwards.' And then Kurt was sliding off Blaine and moving between his legs, pressing light kisses to his inner thighs, teasing him. 'Hm?'

'Well, uh,' Blaine managed. What are words? 'I'm sure we can, uh, bend the rules a little. If you, uh,' Blaine whimpered when Kurt finally stopped teasing, and the last word came out as a whine. 'Insist.'

Blaine wasn't worried.

.

.

In the week following, Kurt was busy taking care of a thousand practicalities surrounding his move to LA and work on the show itself. There were movers to call, an apartment to find, meetings to schedule and scripts to read, and if Blaine sometimes caught Kurt seeming on edge or distant, he attributed it to that. Blaine, for his part, tried to help out the best he could, but there was really only so much he could do, so instead he dug out his calendar and set out to plan weekend visits. Of course it was difficult when both his and Kurt's schedules were still so much up in the air, but he did at least circle the first weekend he would like to come visit Kurt at his new place.

Blaine brought his plans up to Kurt over dinner on Friday the following week. Both Rachel and Max were out, so Blaine and Kurt had the apartment to themselves for the evening. To Blaine's surprise, Kurt didn't look at all happy or excited at the prospect of his boyfriend's first visit. Instead he bit his lip and stared at his plate, like something was on his mind, but he wasn't sure Blaine was going to want to hear it.

'What is it?' Blaine asked, eyeing Kurt fondly and trying to catch his eye. 'Does that weekend not work for you? 'Cause it was just a suggestion-'

'No, no. It's fine,' Kurt said quickly. 'It's not that.'

'Well, come on then. Spit it out,' Blaine urged, continuing to tug into his dinner and smiling lightly. He wasn't worried. He really, really wasn't.

When Kurt finally spoke his tone was even, casual almost, like he was suggesting they watch something different on TV. 'Do you think maybe we should take a break?'

'From what?' Blaine looked at him blankly, not understanding.

Kurt worried his lip again. 'From...us.'

For a long while Blaine just stared at Kurt, his entire being frozen.

'You can't be serious.' But Kurt's face was solemn and his body sort of deflated. There was no way that he was joking. 'Why?'

'You know why.' Kurt's voice was quiet, shaking ever so slightly. 'This year we have ahead of us – you here and me in LA. Do you have any idea how hard it's going to be?'

'Of course I do. Kurt, of course I do.'

'I'm not so sure you do. You've been avoiding the conversation all week, and either you really don't think it's a big deal, or you do and you don't want to think about it.'

'Well, forgive me for trying to stay positive,' Blaine spit. He got to his feet, annoyed now. 'And don't talk to me like I'm a child. I know what we're getting into, okay? Or are you forgetting that we did this exact thing four years ago?'

'But it's not the same thing, Blaine. Far from it. Lima is, what, five, six hundred miles. LA is more than two and half thousand. We won't be able to just pop back and forth the same way-'

'So the visits will be shorter, we still-' Blaine tried to interject, but Kurt kept going, ignoring him.

'And your senior year is important, Blaine. You can't afford to spend half of it traveling across the country, or entertaining me while I'm here.'

'Why don't you let me worry about that?' Blaine shot, annoyance starting to melt into anger. How could Kurt even be saying any of this?

'And what happens when you graduate and all your job opportunities are here or somewhere that's not LA? Do we just keep this long-distance thing going indefinitely?'

'Well, contrary to popular belief not everyone in LA is in the movie industry. I'll find something there.'

'And if you don't? Or if you get a better offer somewhere else? You shouldn't compromise on your career just to be with me.' There's no "just" about being with you. 'I wouldn't do that to you. And I hope vice versa.'

'So because of something that might be a problem in a year, you wanna just give up now?' Blaine said, allowing his disappointment to color his voice. 'After everything?'

'Not give up.' Kurt got to his feet too, and walked to stand in front of Blaine, looking him in the eye as he continued. 'Never give up. Just...a break.'

'Yeah, which is code for breakup,' Blaine said, voice strained.

'Hey, no.' Kurt took Blaine's hand and held it between both of his. 'That's not what I mean. I just think being apart will be easier if there's not this pressure of maintaining a relationship constantly looming. Know what I mean?'

Blaine shook his head. If they were not breaking up, how was being apart from Kurt going to be any easier, just because they were "taking a break". And if they were breaking up – well then he was really fucked. And since when was their relationship pressuring?

Kurt let go of Blaine's hand and took a few steps back to the kitchen table, where the rest of their dinner was getting cold. He grabbed the back of the chair with both hands, leaning back against it, before taking a deep breath.

'Blaine, that year before you joined me here... I don't think you realize how hard that actually was for me. It was hell. I missed you so much and it affected everything I did. I felt so apart from everything that went on. I held on, because I knew that in less than a year we'd be together. But this time around, it will be much, much more difficult. We're both going to be busier, it'll be harder finding times when we can see each other. And with no guarantee of a reunion at the end of it... I'm sorry, but I just don't think I can do it again.'

'And you think it'll be easier, just because we're "on a break"? That we're just going to stop missing each other?'

'I think...it'll be easier, yes.' Blaine lets out a short disbelieving huff of breath. 'And I guess-' Kurt looked like he was struggling with a thought, finding the right way to express it. 'You know, we've only ever been with each other. Don't you wonder sometimes?'

'Wonder what?' Blaine kept his voice even, indifferent, but he felt his stomach start to twist into knots, not liking what Kurt was getting at.

'Look, I love you,' Kurt said straightening up. 'But, Blaine, we met in high school. In Ohio. The real world is a lot bigger than that, and I just think maybe-' Kurt swallowed and finished with a shrug of his shoulders. 'Maybe it's time we explored that for a while.'

At that moment a little part of Blaine died, because through all of it – every fight, every obstacle – and in the face of every person telling him time and again that people didn't marry their first loves, Blaine had always believed in them. Always.

'Wait, let me explain.' Kurt took a few steps forward to stand in front of Blaine again. He made to touch the side of Blaine's face.

'Don't touch me,' Blaine spit, surprised at the venom in his own voice, and Kurt watched helplessly as Blaine shied away from him, crossing to the other side of the room. 'You want to see other people.'

'I- No. I don't know. Sort of.' Kurt sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. 'I think if we have to spend a year apart, it's... an opportunity?' Blaine blanched. 'No, wait. I shouldn't have said it like that. Listen to me. I. Love. You. Don't think for a second that I don't. I just-'

'You're curious,' Blaine offered. 'About other people.'

'I guess?' Kurt frowned. 'I can't really explain it. Mostly I just can't do what we did last time. I just- I can't. But I'm not ready for us to be over either. Am I making sense?'

Blaine wanted to say no. He didn't understand why they couldn't do what they did last time. They had survived, hadn't they? But he could tell that Kurt was serious, and Blaine didn't know that he had it in him to oppose Kurt. Not when the real world is a lot bigger than that still echoed in his mind. Despite how much he had tried to backtrack afterwards, those were the words Kurt had used. Blaine didn't need a break or other people to tell him that Kurt was all he was ever going to want or need, and it broke his heart to realize that maybe Kurt didn't feel the same way. That Blaine couldn't just be enough on his own, the way Kurt was for Blaine. That maybe Kurt thought that there was someone better out there for him. Who am I kidding? Of course there is. Blaine wasn't about to talk Kurt out of it. It was just going to spark resentment on Kurt's part and insecurity on Blaine's, which would end in Kurt leaving him anyway. At least this way Kurt might come back to him in the end.

'I guess. Okay.'

.

.

Day 1

Their break didn't officially begin until Kurt left for LA a little over a week later, but neither was their relationship the same after that conversation, so Blaine counted the days from there. He didn't even really know to what purpose he was counting. Maybe it was his way of applying logic in the form of maths to a situation he was so desperately trying to make sense of. Either way he counted.

.

Day 4

Blaine felt himself starting to get uncomfortable around Kurt, all too conscious of every move either of them made. How were you supposed to be in a relationship with someone who had told you, that they weren't sure they even wanted to be with you? Was Blaine still allowed to kiss Kurt? Hold him at night? Fuck him? And if he was, did that mean that Kurt was indulging him or that Kurt wanted those things, too?

.

Day 7

On their last night together Blaine stopped caring if it was needy or weird or wrong. He needed to feel Kurt close to him again, if there was any way he was going to make it through his goodbyes the next day without falling apart completely. So when Kurt responded to his advances that night, Blaine put every thought of why out of his head, and just allowed himself to feel. He fucked Kurt long and hard until they both came, every thrust a mantra of mine, mine, mine as though claiming Kurt in this primal way, would also make him Blaine's in every other way.

.

Day 8

The morning of Kurt's leaving arrived bright and sunny like any other day in July, and Blaine kind of wished it had been gray and cloudy. People tended to be a bit more reserved in their displays of happiness, when the weather was dull, or at least that was what Blaine had always thought. In any case happy, smiley, ice cream-eating sunshine people was not on Blaine's list of favorite things today.

Blaine had hoped for a quiet moment with Kurt, before they had to leave for the airport, but their last few hours together in the apartment passed by in a blur of stress and last-minute packing. Maybe it was just as well; Blaine probably wouldn't really have known what to say, anyway. Before he knew it he, Kurt and Rachel were in the car, fighting their way through morning traffic.

Next to Blaine Kurt had started fiddling with the radio, pressing buttons over and over, nothing satisfying him and his frustration growing by the second. Blaine nudged Kurt's hand lightly with his to make him stop. 'Hey.'

'Are there no decent radio stations left?' Kurt huffed, changing the station again only to be met with someone rapping about his "hoes". 'Seriously. It's insulting.'

'Why don't we plug in your iPod?' Blaine tried.

'Can't. It's in my bag in the trunk.' Kurt sighed before trying once more and groaning when he was presented with opera.

'Why don't we just do without then?' Blaine cut in, gently brushing Kurt's hand away and turning off the radio completely. Then there was just quiet. Okay, maybe not such a smart move. Tension was starting to build now that there were not a million things (and a radio) to distract them. What kind of conversation was Blaine supposed to go for? Small-talk (Lovely day out, huh? I bet Central Park's crawling with people) or the serious stuff (I'm really going to miss you, Kurt. Please don't leave me)? Somehow neither option seemed particularly inviting.

'Hey guys, did I tell what my director said to me the other day?' Rachel said, seemingly out of the blue. 'He was so out of line, I swear...'

As Rachel kept going and Blaine listened with half an ear, he breathed a soft sigh of relief, grateful for her ability to always find something to talk about (even if it was mostly herself). Blaine appreciated Rachel being there – and so did Kurt, Blaine thought, despite Kurt's one-syllable answers to most of her questions – but nothing she said could distract Blaine from the thought that as of eleven thirty, when Kurt got on that plane, Kurt would no longer be his boyfriend. He wouldn't exactly be his ex either, of course – Kurt had been adamant that the break was not meant as a breakup in disguise. Despite this Blaine couldn't help but think – melodramatically, he knew; Rachel was rubbing off on him – that he was driving towards the doom of their relationship. The airport meant the end of his life with Kurt as he knew it, and here he was, driving the car that would take them there.

No, stop it, Blaine chastised himself, it's not over yet.

Once they arrived at the airport Blaine focused all his thoughts on the practicalities of getting a cart for Kurt's luggage, finding the right check-in counter and getting Kurt checked in. When Kurt was finally checked in and his bags dropped off, Kurt slipped off the use the bathroom, which left Blaine alone with Rachel for a moment. Blaine was bouncing restlessly on his feet.

'How are you holding up?' Rachel asked him softly.

'Fine,' he replied automatically, without looking at her.

'It's okay if you're not, you know.' Blaine knew she meant well, and he appreciated it, but her timing sucked.

'Not right now, it's not,' he said distractedly, still radiating nervous energy. Blaine's face lit up in an exaggerated smile when he saw Kurt emerge from the bathroom. 'Hey! Ready to go?'

As they got closer to the boarding card check, after which Kurt would proceed to security check and they could no longer follow him, Blaine felt his heartbeat quicken and his palms getting sweaty. All too soon they came to a halt, standing a little off to the side, so they wouldn't be in anyone's way.

This was it.

'So...' Kurt stood awkwardly in front of Blaine and Rachel, lost for words. Biting his lip nervously and eyes darting from Blaine to Rachel, Blaine was struck suddenly with how much younger than twenty-two Kurt looked – which was probably why they had hired him to play a high school student, Blaine reflected dimly. Even like this Kurt was amazing, and just how was Blaine going to get used to not waking up to that gorgeous face every morning as he had for the better part of three years? 'I guess...'

Kurt trailed off as Rachel stepped forward then. She touched the side of his face gently, before pulling him into a tight hug.

'I'm so proud of you, Kurt. I'm gonna miss you like crazy.' Blaine could tell by the way Rachel's voice tightened that she was fighting tears and, oh shit, now Blaine was, too. 'But I am so so proud of you.'

They hugged again for a long while, each murmuring things Blaine couldn't hear in the other one's ear, before they finally pulled apart. Rachel looked at Kurt for a long moment, before telling him with a smile that was somehow equal parts sad and happy, 'Go. Be amazing.' She squeezed his hand briefly, and Kurt smiled appreciatively at her, watching as she stepped a few feet away, giving Kurt and Blaine their privacy.

Blaine stood in front of Kurt now. He wanted to say something, felt like he should. If his life had been a movie, he was pretty sure he would be working his way through a big speech right about now. He would be telling Kurt how much he was going to miss him, how much he loved Kurt and how much he wished they weren't doing this. Or if Blaine's life was a musical he would be launching into some huge gesture of a song. But no words would come to him, lyrical or otherwise. Blaine swallowed thickly.

'Blaine...' Kurt spoke softly, and Blaine met his eyes, his own eyes burning with the tears he refused to shed. He let himself be swept into a warm embrace, dimly registering that Kurt's messenger bag was digging into his thigh, but focusing on the feeling of Kurt's soft breath and the gentle caress of his hand against his neck. He wanted to stay there forever, buried in Kurt's arms, but all too soon (a minute? An hour?) Kurt pulled back. He smiled softly at Blaine, who still had one hand splayed on Kurt's chest. Blaine smiled brokenly in return.

'You're still coming to visit next month like you talked about, right?' Kurt asked, covering Blaine's hand on his chest with his own.

'I- Do you want me to?'

'Of course I want you to, Blaine. Of course. What, did you think I was just going to leave New York and then we'd ignore each other until you graduate? You won't get off that easy, mister.' Kurt poked him playfully in the chest.

'No, I-' Blaine swallowed the lump in his throat. 'Of course I'll come.'

Blaine's smile was sincere this time.

'I have to go,' Kurt said after a moment, voice full of regret and making no effort to break away from Blaine.

'I know,' Blaine said, letting himself be the one to step back. He let a few seconds pass, before he gave in and leaned forward to capture Kurt's lips with his own in a painfully short kiss, before he pulled back again and echoed Rachel's sentiments, 'Go take LA by storm.'

Blaine watched Kurt as he hoisted his bag over his shoulder and showed his boarding card, before being ushered on to security check. He turned back and with a small wave of his hand, he rounded a corner and was gone.

Blaine kept staring at that one spot as though any minute Kurt was going to pop back around the corner. After a while he felt a small hand take his, tugging gently at him.

'Come,' Rachel said quietly, and Blaine let himself be led away, following her wordlessly.

When they reached the car in the parking lot, Blaine stood dumbly for a minute, before remembering that it was his car and that he was the one with the keys. He fumbled for a moment before withdrawing the keys from his pocket.

'Are you okay?' Rachel's voice was quiet, concerned.

'No.' Blaine shook his head and finally allowed his tears to fall. 'No, I'm not.'

.

Poor Blaine, eh? And it's about to get even worse... P.S. It's my birthday today and please don't send me hate mail. :p