hellooo
what you have been waiting for after long is here , its payback time ...
my beta is busy , so excuse my mistakes =))
Disclaimer : borrowed characters , original plot!
Chapter 8
I spent The next couple of days Making the finishing touches on the post UP letters, that's what I'm calling it Ultimate paybackand thinking about Edward, It wasn't easy, I didn't actually want to hurt him but he needed to learn his lesson, he can't keep living his life playing with everyone's hearts! He has to feel some of the hurt he caused the people around him, it would be hard ,of that I was sure , but I had to go with it, I just had to , that has been my mantra for as long as I can remember and it kept playing over and over again in my head.
After a couple of hours of over thinking everything I couldn't do it anymore , I had to do something else to stop thinking about what's going to happen next , so I took Doggy With me and went for a walk , a while later I was sitting on one of the benches and laughing at Doggy while he played with one of the toddlers sitting in his stroller , the little boy was laughing like crazy, it was adorable that I had to video tape it , while doing so I felt his presence , I stiffened but ignored him and kept on watching Doggy running around and playing with everyone.
"Bella, I know you know I'm here, and I know you don't want to talk to me, believe me after making me sit for a two hour long talk with father banner the other day about my "sexual problems and the devil " and trying uselessly to convince him that it was a joke and I was fine I know I can't mess with you without it getting back to me and biting me in the ass so you know I come in peace, I just wanna tell you something, can you please just hear me out?"
"I'm listening" I said softly
"I can't stop thinking about you; I tried to let you go so many times! I see your face constantly in everything I do, I see your blush, your laugh, your love for everything, u just won't leave my thoughts, whenever I see a man touch you I go crazy, I don't want any man even near you, will you just go out with me and put me out of my misery, just one time and I know you'll be out of my system, please just once?"He begged
This was what I was waiting for, the moment Edward Cullen finally cracked, but I didn't expect that confession, this might hurt him more than I thought ! I must admit that my heartbeats started going faster with every word he said, until he said his usual crap at the end, well he's going to be in a world of pain soon enough, I just hoped it would be the end of our time together, because my heart can't stand much more.
"You know what, I'll go on a date with you" I said and he sprung up happily from his place before I could continue. "Wait, I have a better idea, why don't I cook dinner for us tomorrow, be at my place at eight on the dot, no later "
" I will I will, thank you, I have to go now, but I'll see you soon beautiful" he said and scurried away.
'Don't thank me yet ' I thought with a sad smile.
When I got home I called Jake and gave him the final date , then I called Alice to come by with the gang for support, She gave me the set she bought me and made me try it on for her , they all stayed for a couple of hours then they went home but not before each one of them offering their personal words of motivation, But jasper like always was spot on and knew just what to say ' it has to be done honey, but it will all be okay , don't over think it just rip up the band aid , time will heal all" then kissed me took Doggy for a sleepover at his and Alice's so I don't have to worry about him tomorrow with all that's happening and went away with the others.
I was a mess, I couldn't sleep the night before, every time I got close to eating anything I felt like vomiting, and I kept on thinking of what Edward said the last time, was it possible that he felt that way? Is this the right thing to do? Is he ever going to forgive me? Do I want his forgiveness? Can I do this? Wasn't it a little too cruel? Was I that person? And then I would go over all the things he'd done and get angry for even feeling guilty, he deserves this , and as hard as it is going to be , I will do it, just rip up the band aid like jasper said .
Jake was at my place at seven, he helped me set up for the scene and calm my nerves, I wore the set Alice got me , put on a little makeup , lit some candles around the room , and made up the bed for later , I left the door unlocked and went back to the window to watch and wait for his arrival , at ten to eight I saw him come out of his building and walk towards mine with a bouquet of flowers in his hand and a happy excited smile on his face , 'I guess that won't stay on for long' I thought !
I walked to the bed after taking one last breath and sat on Jake's lap, he was naked from the waist up, and the blanked covered his boxers so it would look like he was naked all together, he gave me a reassuring smile and helped me sit on his lap and pull the covers a little higher to cover my panties, then I laid my head on his chest and waited for my queue, it was the longest wait of my life ….
Everything was going in slow motion, I was moaning when the door to the apartment opened, not two seconds later the bedroom door opened and Jake started moaning my name and telling me to ride him faster, groaning how good I felt on top of him and thrusting upward, and then there was a sharp intake of breath, it took all my will power to turn around and look carefree, I looked up at Edward, smiled seductively .
"Oh hey Edward Uhhh, what are oh hmm yaa you doing here? Ungghh Wanna join?" i said while continuing to ride jake, i knew i looked the part , sweaty , almost naked and riding jake like there's no tomorrow, and that was the second that Edward put his hand over his heart and squeezed as if trying to ease the pain, the look on his face when I actually made eye contact with him was shattering , he looked broken, he looked grieved , he looked Wounded , and at that moment he never looked more human, he switched from me to jake a couple of time then realization hit him and he looked up at me with understanding and sorrow , " you used to be such a pure engel, did i make you this way?" he said softly before he turned around and left quietly , when i heard the click of the door I let the tears fall freely , what's done is done, there's no going back now .
An hour or so later I had already changed my clothes back to normal, took a shower to wash away the dirtiness I felt and cried myself to sleep in Jake's arms, while he tried to soothe me by murmuring how courageous I was and just holding me in his arms, and the worst thing was I had one more step To make, and I had to do it as soon as I woke up, and that would guarantee Edward never coming back to my life for good.
I woke up at six , thanked Jake for staying and helping me before he left , and then sat in the living room and stared at the wall thinking and trying to get the courage to finish what I had started , at eight it just couldn't wait anymore , I walked to the pile of letters, and started finishing the last twenty or so ones left , when I reached the last one I was sobbing so hard that I couldn't hold or see any more letters, so I took the last one out of the pile , set it on my coffee table , went to the bathroom to wash my face and then went back outside ,took the pile of letters and went and sent them in the mail all together , then I left to Jasper and Alice's where I found solace in Their loving hugs and comforting words and in my Doggy , when i sent the letters i had just finished my payback , and now it was time to lick my wounds and move on, that was my closure.
And in all the 109 letters i added the same thing ,, they all said :"I'M NOT SORRY"
A/N:
So what do u think of the payback?,,tell meeee
The next chapter might take longer but this is NOT the end..
Till next time
FFN
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