Shepard sat at the mess table, head in hands, looking down. His head hurt like hell, and unknown and fundamentally alien emotions were simmering in his mind. Everything felt out of place, a constant sensation that had been gone on ever since Shiala had initiated this 'mind-link' with him. They had been at the sick bay, under Dr Chakwas' supervision, Shepard monitored by half a dozen medicinal instruments. Shiala had been given a spare uniform without rank insignia as provisional clothing. Both she and the doctor had been faintly amused by Shepard's caution, seeing how common asari mind-links were. However, Shiala had made it clear she considered herself in no position to dictate how it should be done, and that the process would happen just the way Shepard wanted it to.
In the moment of the union, Shepard's mind had raced through the visions from Eden Prime again. They had not made any more sense than before. Afterwards, he at first had felt nothing. Shiala had explained that his mind would need time to comprehend the Cipher, as it was after all the fundamental essence of an entire race.
Unfortunately for Shepard, his mind had begun comprehending quickly enough. Amidst heavy headaches, he had felt foreign concepts, alien thoughts and utterly strange emotions getting a hold of him. He had seen his visions in a new light, too, after a while. They still did not make much sense, but he had felt the loss represented by them, the utter despair behind them – the downfall of an entire, galaxy spanning civilisation, trillions of deaths. Overwhelmed by this, Shepard had stormed out of the sickbay and into his quarters. Under the spell of those emotions imposed upon him, he had shouted, cried, and finally collapsed exhausted upon his bed. It had not been a pretty sight, and he had been very glad that as commanding officer of the ship he had his own room.
He had regained control over himself, eventually. The emotions held no sway over him any more, but they still formed a melancholic mood in the back of his mind. He also still felt shaky and exhausted. However, he did not have the luxury to stay in his cabin. The Council awaited a debriefing, and the crew needed orders. Some ship supplies had been shared with Zhu's Hope, under Presley's supervision, and testimonies of the colonists regarding ExoGeni's behaviour had been recorded. Now that this had been done, and that the Cipher had been transferred, the Normandy was ready for departure again. It appeared that the last remaining geth ship, the one who had held up air superiority for the synthetics and had kept the Normandy at bay had retreated, so there was nothing stopping the Alliance vessel any more.
Shepard did not quite know whether he was ready to face the Council, though. This is why after leaving his quarters he had sat down again, at the mess table, trying to gather his thoughts. He was unsure how successful he had been in this.
Alenko approached the table, holding a plate with food in his hand. He did not appear to feel much better than Shepard did. The Commander suspected that his L2 implant was acting up again, something that had already started during the mission. Shepard did not envy Alenko, not even in his current position. Most likely, his current headaches were at least temporary.
Despite the need to report to the Council soon, Shepard's mind was glad for any chance at distraction or procrastination. "Lieutenant," Shepard greeted with a nod.
"Commander," Alenko replied. His voice was careful, it was probably visible in how bad a state Shepard was.
This made beginning a conversation difficult, but after a while Shepard bluntly said: "You look as bad as I'm feeling."
"I'm sure I can come up with a witty answer to that, once my headaches go away," Alenko said, "What do you have?"
"An asari meddling with my mind, and the ancestral memory of an entire race in my head," Shepard replied with a smirk.
"I can imagine how that might hurt," Alenko commented, still careful.
After a pause Shepard, trying to keep the conversation going, asked: "Have you ever considered getting under the knife again, switching to the newer L3 implants?"
"No," Alenko replied. "One wrong movement of that knife, and I won't even be able to speak any more. Besides, the L3 implants have less kick anyway. And I'd have to turn myself over to a Conatix installation. It will be a cold day in hell before that happens."
Shepard narrowed his eyes. Conatix officially didn't exist any more, but he knew what the Lieutenant had meant. BAaT had been Conatix-ran, and most companies dealing with biotics these days ultimately traced their origin back to that corporation. There was more to it, though, he knew there was.
"I've gone through the extranet after our last conversation," he said. "All information on BAaT is classified. All of it. Just what happened there?"
"It's classified, because the Alliance... made mistakes," Alenko said. "Once we had an embassy on the Citadel, Conatix was not satisfied any more with taking it slow with their research. They brought in 'experts'."
"And that's enough to have the records classified?" Shepard asked.
"The company didn't go through official channels," Alenko explained, "That would have made Earth look weak. So instead of asking the asari for help, for example, they hired turian mercenaries."
"Wasn't that right after the First Contact War?" Shepard inquired.
"Yes," Alenko confirmed. "And they were basically given a free pass to break us if it would turn out a decent biotic."
"To break a bunch of kids kidnapped from home?" Shepard asked, appalled.
Alenko nodded. "There was a case... near the end... one of them broke the arm of a girl because she had reached out her hand to a glass of water, instead of using her powers. She just wanted to drink something without getting a nose bleed. This was actually not uncommon. You either came out of it a superman or a wreck. Lots of kids snapped. A few died."
That was like a hit to the guts. Despite what he had just witnessed on Zhu's Hope, and despite his general low opinion of the Alliance, it still managed to shock Shepard. His boot camp at Macapá had been brutal enough, one reason he resented the Alliance. However this went way further. Alenko was almost casually telling him about an Alliance authorised institution injuring, breaking and killing people who never had volunteered for anything. That struck a chord with his new background emotions, adding to them, to their melancholy. However, it also added to his entirely personal, very individual feeling of rage.
"They... they let people get killed there? Children and youths?" he asked. "And then... they just hushed it all up? Damn, by your description that sounds like a forced labour camp."
Alenko looked surprised at him, maybe even shocked. Shepard's voice had not gotten louder, but he suspected it might have become graver, deadly serious.
"That is why I would never trust any Conatix installation again," the Lieutenant concluded, after a pause. "And that is why the files are classified."
"Screw Conatix," Shepard said, now louder and more furious. "They could never have done so without Alliance backing." He shook his head. "And yet... and yet you're here. In the Alliance Navy."
"It's ancient history, Commander," Alenko replied. "We're here to write history, not re-hash it. You said I had a part in saving Eden Prime. So if I had not been there, maybe the colony would have been lost. Service at the navy gives me a chance to do good. I'm 32, Commander. I've come to peace with what has happened."
"Which means letting the Alliance get away with that," Shepard hissed, and then shook his head again. "Sorry. I didn't mean to attack you. You know how I said I don't think I would've joined the Alliance if at some point they had kidnapped me? Well, I'm telling you if this had happened to me, by now I would belong to one of those biotic terrorist cells. Right now, they look damn justified to me, even with it not having happened to me."
This shocked Alenko visibly. Once he had brought that reaction under control he answered: "Then I'm very glad BAaT had already been closed down by your time."
"As am I," Shepard said heatedly, "as am I."
So much for light conversation with Alenko. To be fair, he had started it with quite a heavy and loaded question, but it seemed all his talks with the lieutenant turned out to become far heavier than originally intended. It was good to know, though, to know just what atrocities the Alliance had apparently committed in the past. He trusted Alenko; the lieutenant was a paragon of level-headedness and thoughtfulness; he would never make up something like this.
The further emotional turmoil this had created in him was not helpful, though. He meant what he had said: This was an issue far beyond usual criticism, this was something that could justify terrorist cells. Or maybe not terrorists, since by definition they would target innocents, but definitely armed, violent and deadly resistance against the Alliance. It was made worse by the fact that it all had happened so many years go. Shepard could now go against ExoGeni for their atrocities, but it appeared the Alliance had gotten away with theirs.
He rose from the table. There was not much time left until he had to report to the Council, and he doubted he and Alenko had much to say to each other any more for the moment. So he simply left the mess silently, making his way to the comm room.
Once there, he tried to steel himself. Strange feelings still whirled in his head, Alenko's story weighted heavily upon him, and his head still hurt. He just hoped these factors would not interfere too much with his capability to talk to the Council. He realised that at the moment he was in a rather hostile mood towards all authority. There were certainly enough shortcomings of the entire way the Citadel and the Council were set up, too. For example, he just had heard how the 'official' line about the attack on Eden Prime was that it had been 'rogue synthetics'. Saren's role had been omitted.
The communication terminal flickered and began to project the images of the three Councillors.
"Commander", the asari Councillor began, "ExoGeni should have told us about the Thorian. It would have made your job far easier."
Is she serious? This did not look like a promising start to the debriefing.
"Making my job more difficult is the least of ExoGeni's crimes," Shepard answered forcefully. "They let an entire colony be enslaved, happy with having hundreds of minds being destroyed so they could get a mind control function. Surely, that should be considered graver."
The asari and salarian Councillors looked at each other, probably surprised, before the latter answered: "Of course, Commander. What do you intend to do about ExoGeni?"
"I have enough evidence to have them convicted a dozen times over," Shepard replied. That was not strictly speaking true. ExoGeni was a megacorporation, so it would take a lot of effort to even only scratch it. However, he did not want to tell the Council how much effort he planned on diverting towards that, away from his actual mission.
"Your ambassador has asked us to relay a message to you," the asari continued, "He asks you to stop investigating ExoGeni. For the Alliance's benefit, or so he said."
That was pretty much the worst thing she or Udina could have said at the moment. The conversation with Alenko was still fresh in Shepard's mind.
"You can tell Udina he can die and go to hell!" Shepard shouted, "And I'd be grateful if you could say it to him ad verbatim. The Alliance can go to hell, too, and ExoGeni will!"
Maybe he hadn't meant it like that, in such radicality. However, it felt good venting and saying what was on his mind without restrictions. The turian and the asari councillor exchanged surprised, maybe even shocked looks. The salarian councillor solved the tension, by stating: "These are inner-human affairs. As far as Council interests go, it is regrettable that you had to kill the Thorian. We might have been able to study it."
This isn't much better. "How exactly would you have gone about that?" Shepard asked venomously, "By sacrificing even more colonies, maybe? And I shudder to think anybody getting such mind control capabilities."
"We're not some random human company only interested in their pathetic profits, Shepard," the turian councillor objected, "We are the Council, we work for the welfare of the galaxy."
"Quarantining the colony and watching from afar was both a wasteful and barbaric decision," the salarian Councillor added, "I'm sure more efficient ways could have been found."
"Enslaving people to serve as its thrall was part of its nature," Shepard said, "Fifty thousand years ago Protheans, now humans. The thralls tended to it, supplied it, fed it. There can be no peaceful coexistence with a creature that is based on enslaving others. It had to be killed."
"Yes, kill it," the turian Councillor mock-agreed. "That's how you humans usually deal with things you don't understand."
Shepard closed his eyes and breathed out. He would not be baited into further shouting. Not when he had so much better verbal ammunition at his disposal.
"Funny, that, Councillor," he replied, opening up his eyes again. "I dimly recall it was another race who attacked us, without even knowing any facts on the ground. Who began killing without understanding anything. Killing civilians, too. All to enforce a rule in an area outside its jurisdiction."
"Such laws serve for the well-being of the entire galaxy!" the turian objected loudly. "Only a human would split hairs about jurisdiction borders."
This is turning into a shouting match, instead of a debriefing. But if the turian wants it so, I'll be happy to oblige. However, before he could answer the asari councillor intervened: "This is not the time for old grievances. At least the colony was saved."
"Of course it was saved!" the turian councillor shouted, "Shepard would go to any lengths to help a human colony."
"So I should have let it die, just to please you?" Shepard asked acidly, "To have hundreds die just to prove my racial neutrality, or my dedication to the cause? And despite such callous and even murderous ideas you call yourself 'responsible for the well-being of the galaxy'. What exactly is the purpose or the legitimacy of the Council with people like you on it?"
"You can't just question..." the turian began forcefully, but Shepard had enough.
"Disconnect," he ordered. He could also simply have turned the projector off, of course. But in what was probably a childish fit, he wanted the Council's to know how he had interrupted and disconnected them.
"Ah, oops," Joker's voice could be heard through the communication system, "Lost the connection. Terribly sorry about that."
Shepard smirked. The Council was the highest governing body of the galaxy, but as far as he was concerned they could go to hell. In theory the entire system of the Citadel was a nice model, races coming together to join their efforts, to work together. In reality, though, it were just thee races calling the shots, and that showed all too often. The Council distributed propaganda on how this was due to those races also having special responsibilities, and how they would nonetheless be fair to everybody, but that was indeed just propaganda. The turians for example had never been happy with human expansion, so they used every influence they had to disturb it. Apparently, even if it meant welcoming colonies failing and dying.
Shepard could not deny that it had been good to shout at people, especially at people usually demanding such a respect, to vent away some of his frustration and anger. Yet he could feel new anger was building up, about the Council. Even though the battle against the Thorian was only a day ago, he again longed to shoot something. Anything.
He did not doubt there would be consequences. Him shouting down the Council had almost certainly crossed a line. However, he knew he enjoyed some protection. Granting him Spectre status had been the bone thrown to humanity, the reason the Council got away with doing nothing else at all about the geth attacks in the Traverse. That meant that the Council could not simply strip him of his status, or discipline him too profoundly, without creating a diplomatic crisis. Maybe they would find another way to chastise him. He would have to see how this went.
Turning around, he saw Liara entering the room. He had locked the door before the debriefing, but had set it to open again once the debriefing would end. That the asari entered only moments afterwards probably meant she had waited in front of it for some time.
"Commander," she greeted him, "I had wanted to speak with you somewhere non-public. I heard what happened at the sickbay, and spoke with Shiala. I was concerned. How do you feel right now?"
Shepard was not prepared to be drawn into yet another conversation. Besides, this open voicing of her concerns and her stated need for privacy made him suspicious. It's a stupid question, anyway. Especially if she has spoken to Shiala.
"My brain has been scrambled like an egg," he answered, "How do you think I feel?"
"I might be able to help you," Liara stated, "I am an expert on the Protheans. If I join my consciousness to yours, maybe we can make some sense of it."
"Nobody's messing with my head any more!" Shepard replied, almost shouted. "The Cipher was bad enough, but we might need it. No more of it!"
"Making sense of your visions might be just as necessary," Liara answered. "It might be the only way to stop Saren."
Shepard leaned back, and thought about that. "Maybe... maybe I should have though about that earlier, already at Shiala's mind-link," he said after a while, "but at least that was transferring thoughts to me. Now this would be different – you would want something from my mind. Essentially, you would be poking around in my mind."
"I assure you, Commander, I have no interest into any secrets you might hold," Liara stated.
"I don't even have any big secrets to be revealed," Shepard answered, "but nobody's invading my mind." He held up his right index finger and drew a horizontal line with it. "Nobody. I don't like espionage or surveillance done on me. Mind probing? That makes it entire orders of magnitude worse."
"I can try..." Liara began.
"Yes, you can try," Shepard interrupted her. "But tell me, have you initiated such mind links before? Or initiated any with humans?"
Liara cast her glance downwards, shook her head and answered quietly: "No, Commander."
"So even if you had no interest in any other thought in my mind, just in the visions and the Cipher – you could end up absorbing them, too," Shepard said, "Our minds would after all be linked."
"It's a possibility," Liara admitted, "but if I focus on what I search, such 'leaks' should be minimal. It might be a reasonable price for getting information we can use against Saren. Besides, it may help you lessen the confusion and the physical pains that came together with the Cipher"
"I rather take them then and keep my privacy," Shepard replied decisively, and walked out of the room, leaving a dumbfounded Liara behind.
His headaches worsened, and anger began to build up again within him, both clouding his thoughts. Without greatly thinking what he was doing, he went a ship deck lower.
000000000
The work shift in Engineering was coming close to its end. Tali noticed how she had been absent minded through most of it, something very unusual for her. She did not even have the excuse of tiredness; after the adventures a day before on Feros she had been exhausted and had slept the sound sleep of the righteous. Yet her thoughts had always wandered away, back to the planet. Back to Commander Shepard.
She had been appalled at what she had seen as a lack of a sense of duty in him, a lack of proper respect of authority, maybe even disloyalty. Now, though, after Feros, she began to doubt her earlier judgement. She had seen how deeply Shepard had cared about the fate of Zhu's Hope's colonists. Furiously he had gone against the Thorian, and also against ExoGeni, which had been a sort of authority – yet it had been the absolutely right thing to do.
It seemed at times that Shepard lashed out against everybody and everything. However, Tali became increasingly convinced that this was due to him caring about everybody, no matter who and no matter where in the Galaxy. Shepard seemed to wish ideally for a good life and justice for everyone. Hence probably his criticism of the pilgrimage – he had not been dismissive of quarian traditions. On the contrary, he simply had cared for the well-being of the quarians sent out to their pilgrimages.
A growing part of her agreed with him, fervently. This was how it should be, how things should be done. The only care should be justice and the people one met. Stretched resources, hard decisions, 'pragmatism', those all should not be excuses. Other parts of her recoiled at that, her roles as Migrant Fleet member and Admiral's daughter. To those parts such ideals were foolish and wasteful. However, she began to consider it a glorious foolery, and those parts became ever quieter. It was almost a liberating experience, that there was more to life than just those constraining concerns.
Shepard is right.
Not about everything. She still did not agree with his estimation of the Pilgrimage tradition. However, this did not matter. Ultimately, it did not matter what exactly Shepard thought about the Pilgrimage, but rather why he thought so. His motives were important, and Tali found those to be very... inspiring.
She found it somewhat odd, even troubling how much thought she was spending to reach an evaluation of the Commander. He seemed to occupy a large part of her mind and she felt that this was not like her, especially not during work. After some pondering she blamed Feros for that, and all the troubling events she had experienced there. Such experiences could unbalance one's thought processes. Eventually, she would get over it, she was sure of that. It was probably also for that reason that none of her colleagues had commented on her below-average performance during this shift; they probably all realised she was still recovering from Feros.
A human expression she had picked up flashed through her mind: Speaking of the devil. There he was, Commander Shepard, entering the reactor core. Heading straight for her. He did not look like he was feeling well.
"Commander Shepard," she greeted him, surprised.
"Hello, Tali," he greeted back. He sounded unsure and also somewhat depressed. It appeared as if he wanted to say more, but nothing came forth.
Thus, Tali took the matter into her own hands and asked bluntly, but friendly: "What brought you down here?"
"Ah," Shepard answered awkwardly, "Well, I..." He trailed off and then shrugged. "I guess I thought it was past time I apologise to you. You know, for having been so blunt in our last conversation."
That surprised Tali. Considering her thoughts in the last few hours, it was certainly ironic. "No need, Commander," she replied, "you were just stating your opinions. I shouldn't have been so upset about it. In fact, now I think I should apologise to you."
Shepard chuckled. "Well, then. I have apologised to you, you've apologised to me, so to say, and it seems we can thus forget about that incident."
"That seems agreeable," Tali answered, smiling beneath her mask. After a while she added: "So it was just that why you came all the way down to here and interrupt my work?" She took care that her voice would sound as ironic as the question was meant to be.
"It's not exactly a big ship, and we aren't even back in space yet!" Shepard justified himself with a smile. Then he shrugged and admitted: "But... no. Today's been a really bad day. I guess I came here because, well, it may sound odd, but yeah... I guess because I was looking for some conversation."
"And so you came to here?" Tali blurted out the first thing that came to her mind.
"Well, I don't want to say that at the moment you appear as the last sane person on board..." Shepard explained, "No, that would be way exaggerated. However, Shiala's been messing with my mind, Liara would like to, Alenko likes to be a fucking martyr..." He had become agitated, but then just shrugged again. "So why not you?" he offered with a smile.
"Then I guess we can talk," Tali answered, "When the watch is over, which is in... three minutes."
"Huh," Shepard said, confused. "It's watch change?" He shook his head. "This mind-link thing has totally messed up my sense of time."
"A mind-link?" Tali asked, but then immediately continued: "Right, you can explain soon." It were only some minutes left, so staying at her post was only rather nominal any more, but duty was duty.
He told her on the way to the mess, and also told her about his conversation with Lieutenant Alenko and his argument with the Council. She could see why the Commander would be down, or would need somebody to talk to. He had only been able to admit it in a very stumbling manner, and it was odd that it was her he wanted to talk to, but as in so many other things the social conditions on the Flotilla had prepared Tali. Quarians actively sought social contact, including seeking contact with specific people, so while she was still surprised in a way about the Commander choosing conversation with her it was in another way a normality for her.
What Shepard told about the Cipher sounded grave. His tales of foreign feelings made her feel uneasy; she shuddered at the thought of such emotions being imposed on her. Clearly he was carrying a great burden, and it showed.
She began telling tales about life on the Flotilla again, tales she assumed he would enjoy. Maybe it was sympathy, maybe it was duty, doing her part, maybe it was simply trying to do a good deed. In any case, Tali and Shepard ended up talking for several hours. She could see that he enjoyed her stories, and followed them with interest. It made her glad and moreover, she was happy to share them with somebody. Her home had been on her mind a lot in the recent days, when she had felt estranged to the mission, the crew, Shepard. Even if this now hopefully was over, it felt good speaking of home.
Most of the time, she spoke, but now and then he also told her about his own childhood and youth. It sounded pretty bad, and made her glad that during her childhood she had had a family and an orderly structure for her life, even if it had been overly strict. He told her how had sought escape by reading. Reading about other places, other cultures or other times. Fictional places, too, but obviously they would never have as much detail as the real thing. Thus, he more or less accidentally had gathered together a rudimentary form of education.
"Other people sought escapism in drugs and the like," he commented at one point. "So did I, at times. However, drugs offer escape by not letting you think at all. I wanted to think about other things, primarily. Still, yeah, I did drugs, too. They're self-destructive, but at least that didn't hurt anybody else, so, really, I've done worse." He shrugged. He did not exactly specify just what kinds of things he had done that were worse.
The conversation definitely veered beyond just small-talk with parts like that. However, it nonetheless kept going on and on. Both Tali and Shepard seemed to want it that way, and they managed to end the talk without getting into another big argument.
000000
Shepard began to hate this star cluster, the so-called Maroon Sea. A close neighbour to Attican Beta, Feros' cluster, it seemed to be full of mad science, monsters and left-overs of the Feros disaster. The squad had already checked out the pioneer settlement on Chasca, only to find out that all of its inhabitants had been turned into husks. Shepard shuttered at the thought, he hated those techno-zombies. Worst of all was that it had been done deliberately. This 'Cerberus' group the files on Feros spoke of must have had deliberately planted dragoon teeth – dragon teeth they had gotten from ExoGeni, according to the Feros files. It was a deliberate atrocity, and somebody would pay for it. He had no idea who 'Cerberus' was, but he was sure he would find out, eventually. He was a Spectre now; nobody could hide from him.
Next, the team had investigated a dead freighter drifting in space, the MSV Cornocupia. The ship had been full of husks, too, probably the former crew. Rooting them out one by one in a maze of crates had been a nightmare almost straight out of a horror vid and it had taken a toll on the nerves of the entire squad. Several rooms had been filled with dragon teeth. The ship records had been the worst: The ship had stumbled about an unknown artefact, and then had set a course straight for the Perseus Veil, right into geth territory, as if they had wanted the synthetics to find them. The geth must then have huskified them and sent the dead ship back, as a warning. It was a pretty terrible story, which had further depressed Shepard.
At the moment Shepard and his team were on Nodacrux, inside a lone, secret research facility belonging to ExoGeni. Another file found on Feros had pointed them to here and had prompted them to start an investigation. Again the results had been horrible. On the positive side, they had not stumbled over any husks. On the negative side, they had found Thorian Creepers. Bio-zombies instead of techno-zombies. Which was in a way worse, because now he and everybody else on his team wondered whether they had really defeated the Thorian. Encountering Creepers here meant that apparently things weren't over yet.
So far, most of the structure had been cleared, but it had been a tiresome battle. Shepard had won some experience in fighting those creatures on Feros, so he and his squad knew how to handle the battles. The most important part was to channel the inevitable Creeper wave coming rushing at you through a checkpoint, like a door frame. Even so, having to repeat this numerous times, seeing multiple waves of twisted creatures running towards you, claws first - it took a toll, and was exhausting the squad pretty quickly.
For that reason, Shepard had decided to make full use of their supply situation, which was infinitely better than it had been on Feros. The team was able to traverse the cleared corridors of the ExoGeni facility without problem, and the Normandy was easily reachable in orbit. This allowed the squad to pause and be resupplied very often. There was no need to go and charge the nearest Creepers. For the most part, the creatures remained within a certain area, so they would still be there later to be put down.
So Shepard's squad currently sat on some crates in one of the cargo holds of the facility and enjoyed lunch. Even though he had ordered it himself, the Commander had to grin at the absurdity of that. This is turning into a luxury mission. Hopefully I don't spoil my people. In a certain way already being here, chasing for evidence to use against ExoGeni felt like a luxury. It had nothing to do with the mission against Saren, and the news about a geth presence in the Armstrong Cluster, in preparation for an invasion, where much more important. However, Shepard had already sent reports about that to Arcturus Station, and hoped the admiralty would take care of that. The Normandy was probably not suited for going against large geth concentrations anyway; it was a frigate with a a focus on scouting and stealth, not a cruiser or dreadnought designed for full frontal assaults.
Thus, Shepard had decided he could as well employ his people to make sure that ExoGeni's victims would receive proper justice. In an effort to integrate his Spectre entourage and the Normandy's marines detachment more he had begun to take a selection from both groups to his missions. Currently, Alenko, Garrus, Liara and Tali were with him.
He had not spoken with Alenko since their last conversation, aside form short exchanges on official matters. Both were professional enough to make at least that still possible. Truth be told, Shepard did not quite know what he could say to the Lieutenant beyond that; it was certainly a rather awkward situation. Yet he stood by what he said, and he would not know what to apologise for even if he had such intentions.
He had apologised to Liara, at least. He had not been in a good state of mind when she had approached him, and he had unfairly vented that out on her expense. However, he retained his position that he would not allow anybody to spy in his head. That was an absolute. The asari had been visibly disappointed at that; getting the Cipher would probably have been a crowning moment of her career. However, Shepard would not give up his privacy for that.
The Commander had also been on bad terms with Tali for a while, standing in her disfavour, but luckily at least this problem seemed to have all but disappeared by now. Conversations between them had become common in recent days; in fact they had even begun to synchronise their meal times to that effect. Shepard had to admit he enjoyed her company. She combined a certain youthful enthusiasm with a sensible attitude and a realist, if sometimes too dark, view of the universe, and moreover she was a good conversation partner in general. He also liked the thought of her getting more acceptance and social contact with others than quarians usually did among other races, and he was glad he could contribute to it.
However, it was far more than just entertaining her. He was still plagued by the after-effects of having gotten the Cipher, with all the ensuing headaches, emotional chaos and feeling of despair and melancholy. Those were not constant problems, but they were regular ones, similar he assumed to Alenko's migraine attacks. His talks with Tali were one of the few bright points every day for him.
They had also begun to touch more controversial topics again. Both stood with their respective opinion on the quarian pilgrimages, for example. However, they had built up a certain tolerance towards each other's opinions, an informal agreement to disagreement. Besides, for all that he thought was wrong with the tradition, he was glad Tali was aboard the Normandy due to just that tradition.
She had more than proved her value to the mission, too. Without her expertise Shepard would surely not have come as far as he had. Probably would even still sit around on Therum, thinking how to get to Liara. She could also hold her own in battle, as she had proven again in cleaning out the Creepers. In fact, the entire team had proven a high level of combat prowess in the recent weeks with all its various combat missions. Shepard had been very lucky in picking just the right people for the job, as he now realised. He would need them in the fight against Saren.
He signalled the team to gather up again. At least concluding this particular mission would be no problem any more. Shepard assumed that most parts of the facility had already been cleared, and he also did not expect any further unknown threats beyond the Creepers.
In both he was right. The team made its way through the various corridors and halls of the building, displaying a high grade of professionalism and experience in dealing with the unnatural enemy. Hardly any Creeper reached them, much less could do any damage. Amply supplied and rested as the squad was, it had no problems at all further advancing through the facility. If nothing else, then this mission can serve as morale booster; an easy success.
While they slowly but methodically and without problems made their way through the research facility, Shepard ordered his team to bag in all equipment that might be potentially useful. After having witnessed Feros, he had no problem stealing from ExoGeni, and most likely this compound did not officially exist anyway. Moreover, he and his team were protected by his Spectre legal immunity.
One corridor had rooms with particularly high yields in this. At the end of the corridor, though, they found a surprise – humans. Survivors. After opening its door and entering, Shepard counted three scientists in ExoGeni uniforms, and no less than nine armed and armoured security personal. Judging by how much better they were equipped than the guards on Feros, he assumed it were mercenaries rather than regular security employees.
"Rescuers?" one of the scientists exclaimed, "Ah, thank god." She turned towards one of her co-workers. "See? I told you somebody would come to investigate that signal." Facing Shepard again, she continued: "My name is Dr Ross, Chief ExoGeni researcher at this facility. We've been trapped in here for days, without..."
Shepard interrupted her. He had little patience for ExoGeni stooges any more, and the ones here had started experiments on the Thorian's creatures. Something that was casually ignored by this Dr Ross.. Does she think I'm stupid? "Whatever," he said, "Just tell me why there are those Thorian Creepers here."
"How do you know about the Thorian?" Ross asked. The hostility in her voice betrayed her true emotions.
Shepard grinned menacingly. "I killed it," he said in an icy tone.
"The entire creature?" Ross asked, shocked. "Why would you do so?"
"Don't play coy," Shepard commanded in a hostile tone. "I know what ExoGeni was doing with Zhu's Hope. I've arrested Ethan Jeong and gathered terrabytes of evidence. Your company is going down."
"That explains why Feros hasn't sent aid yet," Ross answered. She tried to keep her voice even-levelled, though some shock showed. Then she sighed and continued: "ExoGeni's secret is out then. No point in lying to defend the company. We were under strict orders, including orders of secrecy, but you know the worst anyway."
Of course, orders. The classical Nuremberg Defence.
"The 'creepers' here, as you called them, were created using altered samples from the specimen on Feros," Ross continued, "We discovered a way to turn them into docile obedient creatures, at the behest of the company's top level. It wasn't exactly ethically sound work, but it progressed well until a few days ago. Then all the creepers suddenly went berserk. Only a handful of us made it back into the safety of this room."
I can see where this is going. I'm not falling for such a cheap trick. It was of course easy to disavow ExoGeni now, after Shepard had already told her of collecting evidence against the company. And he found it curious just who had made it back into the room. With three times as many mercenaries as scientists, Shepard had a suspicion that Ross might have gathered them to secure her own survival, while letting others die. In any case, though, this was a good chance to gather even more evidence.
"Why didn't you send a clear emergency signal?" he asked. "If I hadn't decided to check this place out to gather more evidence against ExoGeni, you'd still be trapped here, and probably dead soon."
"ExoGeni, in their paranoia, designed this place as a closed communication facility," Ross explained, "They were worried about someone on the project selling secrets to a rival firm, or reporting our work to the authorities. We have no direct communication with the outside, only the emergency beacon. It sends a general distress signal to the ExoGeni site on Feros. They're supposed to send a team within 24h, but it sounds like they had problems on their own."
"Somebody should have contacted the authorities," Shepard commented.
"Yes, what we did here was wrong, I admit it," Ross said. "However, ExoGeni made us do it. There's no sense in dragging us down with them."
"Well then, if ExoGeni made you do it, then surely you would have no problem testifying against them," Shepard commented dryly.
"We'd end up as designated scapegoats," Ross scoffed, with some true emotion in her voice. "Whatever happened here is over now anyway. There is just no sense in reporting this to the authorities any more, right? How does it help anyone if I end up in jail?"
Self-serving slippery snake. Shepard said nothing and just stared at Ross. He hoped he could make her talk even more, reveal even more details under stress.
"Ah, I've got money," she went on. "A nice little emergency funds I set up. It's yours if you let us go."
Attempted bribery of a Council Spectre. That's something. He turned his head sideways and asked: "You got that, Garrus?"
"You bet, Commander," the turian answered, ticking his visor with one of his claws. On the battlefield, he usually did not employ such informal language, but he sounded too mightily pleased to notice. This was his favourite narrative: Successfully catching criminals, with nothing in the way, despite an influential authority protecting the criminals.
"You recorded this all?" Ross asked.
"As he said: You bet," Shepard said grinningly. "And now, by my authority as a Spectre, I'll arrest you."
"Aha," Ross laughed smugly, "That's not going to happen." She turned to the mercenaries: "Open fire, open fire."
The reflexes of Shepard's team had been quicker. By the time Ross shouted her orders, the mercenaries were already under had been done very professionally, too: Only mercenaries were fired at, not the researchers. Shepard grinned. They've taken my doctrine of disregarding parley to heart. "Keep Ross alive!" he shouted, "We still need her as prisoner!"
While true, that order also had some problems. Ross herself had drawn a pistol, and hence now was an armed and dangerous opponent. However, Liara solved that problem in a creative way, using her biotic powers to lift the researcher far above the battlefield, just below the ceiling.
With her out of the way, Shepard's team made short work of the mercenaries. Cheap second-rate mercs. Shepard was amused: There was a certain poetic justice in ExoGeni losing its battles because they had been such misers with the security forces. Shepard and Alenko were trained Alliance marines, Wrex was a mercenary with centuries of experience and the entire team battle-hardened in the fights against the geth, a thresher maw and the Thorian. The mercenaries had no chance at all.
Ross fell to the ground again, breaking some ribs. Liara had not led her down slowly, too distracted by the fight to pay attention to that. However, the scientist was alive and conscious, and by the time of her fall all mercenaries and her two scientist colleagues had been defeated. Shepard went to her, applied some medi-gel, and then dragged her out of the room.
"Collecting ExoGeni bosses now, Shepard?" Tali asked ironically, before immediately correcting herself: "Ah, Commander, I mean."
"What can I say?" Shepard responded humorously, ignoring the lapse in formalities, "My collection of aliens is already full."
He thought he heard a quietly muttered "Damn you, Wrex!" in response and grinned.
000000
"So, is the Commander going to pick you up again after the watch's end?" Williams asked with a grin.
"I think so," Tali answered simply.
She had helped Williams correct problems with the electronic parts of some rifles, and the shift's end was coming near. In truth, she felt a bit nervous about that, about the prospect of talking again to Shepard. She enjoyed all the talks with him, and was glad they were happening regularly. Her opinion of him as a great man had become steady, and she enjoyed spending time with him. So she also looked forwards to the watch change. It was always a high point of the day for her.
However, she was not naïve, and quite intelligent enough to read the writing on the wall. The fact that she did enjoy the time spent together so much, her increasing uneasiness in thinking about Shepard, and the fact that even the crew had picked something up – Maybe I'm not as immune to pilgrimage romanticism as I had thought.
She was not the first and certainly would not be the last quarian on pilgrimage to develop a crush on somebody out there. Insular as her people were, it did not happen all too often, and in at least nine out of ten cases it was about asari, but it was part of all the tales and romanticism about the pilgrimages she so far had always so strongly disavowed. It made her uneasy that something like that could happen to her.
It was not all bad, of course. While Shepard was human, and certainly physically quite different to quarians, he was a war hero, a fighter against her people's archnemesis. And yet charming and understanding. He had saved her from Fist's agents and then let her join his grand journey to stop a rogue spectre and his army of geth. So it was not all too difficult to understand why she could have developed some feelings for him. More importantly, she had regular contact with him, and could at least be a friend to him. That was probably more than most quarians who had developed pilgrimage crushes could say about theirs.
Like most things on the pilgrimage, it was simply something new to experience, to help her being more mature once she had returned to the Fleet, and she accepted it as such. However, it was still troubling in that it did not fit to her self-perception at all, and it was troubling if the crew suspected anything. Hastily she worked on her analysis tool, to get those thoughts out of her head.
However, after a while Williams spoke up again: "I guess it's not easy for him. If I had all that alien voodoo in my head, first the visions from Eden Prime and now that 'Cipher', whatever that is, I'd probably go mad. He's holding up remarkably."
Tali was unsure was to say. "Yes, he is," she said after a while.
"So hey," Williams continued, "if his talks with you help him..."
That made Tali definitely nervous. What does she mean by that? Unable to form a good answer, she settled after a while for what had come to mind most immediately: "I thought you didn't like non-humans. Or so the talk goes." Oh no. That definitely had not been tactful. But it was too late to take it back now.
"That's really not it," Williams answered fiercely, and then cooled her voice down. "I'm just concerned about the Alliance's interests. This here is our most modern warship after all." She looked briefly up, viewing the cargo bay. Neither Wrex nor Garrus were on their usual places. Williams shrugged. "But I guess Garrus and Wrex are okay, now that I've been on combat missions with them. They seem to be on the level. I don't exactly love them, but they don't seem to be a threat, either. And I don't think Liara could lie even if she wanted to." She grinned. "Maybe somebody should ask her about her sex life."
Oh keelah. That was not helpful. At the moment Tali was not inclined to think of anyone's sex life, so she hastily responded: "And what about me?"
"Ah, well," Ashley replied, and for the first time the marine's voice betrayed some uncertainity. "I don't think I ever considered you much of a threat. After all, if you were a spy, what intelligence service would you report to? I don't think your 'Flotilla' can afford one." That was in fact only all too true. "And I've read up on you quarians. Damn, and I thought we get a bad treatment from the Council!" She shook her head. "Nothing compared what they did to you guys." She grinned. "So I guess your people can't be all that bad. Of course, you did create the geth... but I think even turian judges would consider jail terms of 300 years to be excessive."
"Excessive is one way to put it" Tali answered. Her voice was cutting, but not hostile. It was rare that a non-quarian would recognise the crimes that had been done against her people. Normally she accepted it as a fact of life that her people were shunned and at times actively persecuted by the Council, but it was nice to find a potential partner in complaining. "One time they had us bombed to drive us away from a world we had begun to settle."
"Yeah, I read about that as well," Williams answered, and continued sarcastically: "And yet, it's still the Council who sits cosily in the Citadel and renders judgement over us little people. Because actions like that show just how well suited they are for that." She shook her head. "I wonder when they'll turn on us like that. Or maybe they only kick peoples who are already down. That would seem to fit to them."
Tali had not expected such a turn of conversation. While she may not have put things as radically as Williams did, it was nice to hear somebody say it like that. "For obvious reasons it isn't exactly an uncommon opinion among my people that the Council is unfit to rule the galaxy," she said.
"Yeah, I bet," Williams commented, laughing sarcastically. Then she turned and exclaimed: "Ah, there's the Commander." She looked at her watch. "And pretty much exactly on time, too."
Tali turned, too, and saw Shepard approaching. Despite her uncertainties, a smile reached her lips, not that anybody could see it. The smile was mirrored on his face. Williams smirked lopsidedly.
"Hello Tali," he said, then nodded towards William, "Chief. Have you been able to work out the problems with the guns?"
"We found the reason," Tali answered. "Correcting the faulty software is easy now, we can do the rest tomorrow."
"By then we will hopefully be on the Citadel already," Shepard replied.
"If I may ask, sir," Williams began, "What's the plan for our stay there and afterwards?"
Shepard sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Well my plans are full of unpleasant meetings," he said, "I need to personally report to Admiral Kahoku, Admiral Hackett wants to speak with me about the geth activities in the Armstrong Cluster and Ambassador Udina wants to talk to me, too. No doubt to convince me to let the ExoGeni scum in our holding cells go free. And I need to make... arrangements concerning them as well" He shrugged. "The ship will run on a skeleton crew while we're there, so that as many people as possible can get shore leave. Afterwards... well, that'll be a surprise." He grinned.
"Your schedule does sound bad," Tali commented.
"Well, better him than us..." Williams commented jokingly, "Uh, no offence, sir."
"Of course not, Chief," Shepard answered with a smirk. "So Tali, wanna join me in the mess?" It was a silly question, since she always did, but yet the Commander still asked it every time, so it had in a way become almost ritualized.
"Sure," she answered.
"Have fun, you two," Williams said. There was a certain ironic subtone in her voice.
Shepard and Tali used the elevator upwards in silence. Unlike previous talks, Tali suddenly found herself anxious about making a fool out of herself when speaking to the Commander, so she said nothing. Part of her was distantly amused by her reaction; she always had thought herself so pragmatical and above such issues.
While stepping outside the elevator, Shepard noted: "Hm, you seem to be getting more sleep."
Tali did a double take. "You noticed that?" she asked, surprised.
"I heard some rumours," Shepard explained, while making his way to the food distribution, "that you had trouble adjusting to how quietly the ship runs. Seemed a bit odd to me, but it was obvious at times you were tired, yes."
Tali had not expected the Commander to be that observant. Part of her was glad that apparently he was paying attention to her. "Quarian ships only are that silent if something is broken," she explained, "but I guess I'm getting used to how quiet your ship is. I've been sleeping much better over my recent rest periods."
"Ah, that's good," Shepard answered. "Good to see you smile again. So to say."
When he returned to the table, his plate as usual overflowing with food, Tali asked: "What about you? Have the effects of the Cipher lessened?"
Shepard sighed, and made a dismissive hand gesture. "No, not really. I guess I just learn to deal with them. And I do think I begin to understand the Protheans better. Still can't make any sense out of the visions, though." He shook his head. "It's not getting worse, at least. What about you, anything on your mind?"
It was clear that Shepard did not want to talk about his problems. Tali considered pushing the issue; after all nobody would benefit from Shepard just refusing any aid, least of all himself. However, she decided otherwise. He was an adult with much experience behind him; he would know what he was doing. "I still think a lot about my pilgrimage" she said. Smirking beneath her mask she added with an ironic voice: "Our talks about that have not helped much in that regard." More seriously again: "I know Saren is our top priority. But with all the worlds we visit, I was hoping to find something to bring back to the Flotilla."
Shepard grinned in response, and took some bites from his food. "Well, as I've learned, it's no use arguing with you about that topic. Which just means we will have to find something, I guess."
That something would be found was clear to Tali, too, but the matter was more problematic. Trying to explain she said: "Unfortunately, it cannot just be a derelict ship my people can use for salvage. It has to be more than that. There's a lot expected of me."
"Of you, specifically?" Shepard asked "Why's that?"
That was a topic Tali so far had avoided: Her family. Partly because it was so complicated, because she did not quite know what to say about it, and partly because back on the Flotilla most people were judging her by her family anyway. No reason to also experience that outside. Yet it had been inevitable that eventually the topic would come up.
"It's my father," she explained. "As I told you, he's part of the Admiralty Board, the senior member even. That makes him one of only five people who can overrule the decisions of the Conclave. My father is responsible for the lives of seventeen million people – in a way, our entire race is in his hands. And I'm his only daughter."
"Okay, so your father is important," Shepard said, "However, why would people automatically expect more of his daughter? Are you some kind of royalty?"
"No, nothing like that," Tali expatiated. "My father's position isn't hereditary. I'll probably never serve on the Admiralty Board myself. Officially, I'm just the same as any other citizen. But it doesn't work that way in practice. My people place a high value on family and ancestry. There's an unspoken expectation that I live up to my father's example."
"That sounds tough," Shepard commented, his fork pausing in mid-air "And somehow not right, though I'm not sure I want to argue about another point of quarian culture."
That made Tali smile, even though Shepard of course could not see it. "When I came first aboard, I had not planned on telling you about my father, because I'm tired of being judged due to who he is," she said. "People have always treated me differently because of that. So I cannot really disagree with you." It was indeed just a further point among all the good things about him; he seemed to judge every person on his or her own merits. He was maybe not completely free of biases, being just a person, but he seemed to try, at least.
"Don't worry, I won't," Shepard answered, grinning.
"I've noticed that, and I'm grateful for it," Tali stated. "But on the Flotilla, everyone's waiting for me to do something great on my pilgrimage. Something that will forever change our lives for the better. If I don't, it's like I failed. And that reflects badly on both me and my father."
"And you plan to fulfill those expectations?" Shepard asked, pointing his fork towards her.
That took Tali aback. She did not even quite understand what he meant at first. Confused, she answered: "Of course. Why wouldn't I?"
Shepard shrugged in response. "If they place so much higher expectations on you than on anybody else, just because of who your father is – well, I'd tell them they can go screw themselves. Forget expectations, what do you want?"
"It doesn't work that way in quarian society," Tali answered. "We always have to think of others." And in a softer voice she added: "But it's a nice thought." And it was. It was an unachievable ideal, but an inspiring one.
"You didn't answer my question," Shepard prompted.
That made Tali pause to consider. She pondered the issue. She did want to fulfil the expectations. Partly because she had never known anything else; what else was she supposed to do? Also, not fulfilling the expectations just would be a failure, and she had no intention to fail. Trying to wrap this in words she began: "I told you how my father pushed me hard during my childhood. He never allowed me to settle for anything less than excellence. Plus he was very strict, a military man through and through. I came out of it the better, ready and prepared to do whatever I'd have to do. However, all that would be wasted if I could not use it in some way. If I don't live up those expectations, if I don't bring home something great, then all of it would have been for nothing."
"I see," Shepard said. A melancholic smile was on his face, but he did not comment on it further. Instead he said: "It must've been difficult growing up for you."
"Not as much as it was for you, but yes, it was. " Tali answered. She thought back to those times with a sort of reverse nostalgia. It had never been truly bad, but it had not always been happy times, either. "Even before he joined the Admiralty Board my father was a prominent figure. People looked to him for leadership. He had to set an example, and he expected the same of his daughter. As a child, I did think he was pushing me too hard, and it wasn't easy to fulfil his expectations. Sometimes, it wasn't possible at all."
"And what about your mother?" Shepard asked. "Where was she in all that?"
"Mother was around," Tali answered. "But she always seemed to kind of blend in the background, almost like she was overshadowed by my father. He... tends to do that to people. She passed on about five years ago, when some airborne virus swept through the fleet."
"Oh. I'm sorry," Shepard said.
"It happens sometimes, when the filters start to break down," Tali explained. "However, my father took it pretty hard. After she was gone, he became even more focused on his work. I think that was his way of dealing with the grief. "
"Hm. And after all that – don't you resent your father at all?" Shepard asked.
That was a difficult question. Slowly, Tali began to formulate an answer: "Like I said, it was difficult at times. My father is not the kind of person you bond with. And he wasn't around all that much. Too busy. People counted on him, and he took his duties seriously. Even when he was around, he always seemed a bit distant. Like his mind was always somewhere else. I mean, I know he cares about me, but he never really showed it. Not in the usual way. I guess the best thing I can say about my father is that I respect him."
"Well, at least you can say that much about your parents," Shepard commented. There was some bitterness in his voice, but it was distant, and very obviously not directed at her. "Still, it kinda doesn't seem enough if that's the best reaction they can bring forth in their children.
Tali understood what Shepard meant, but that was too easy. Matters were more complex. There were reasons why her father was how he was, and it was not like he ever had been abusive or anything of that sort. "My father is a man of many responsibilities," she answered, "and I think they weight him down and always have. Maybe too much to also be a model father."
"Yeah, maybe," Shepard agreed. However, he neither sounded nor looked convinced at all.
Given how bad his own childhood had been, according to the few pieces of information he had told her about it, it was certainly odd that he cared so much about whether or not she had had a good childhood. Even though it probably was again just Shepard wishing a good live for everybody, Tali was kind of moved by it. It was nice to know her past, and by extension she herself, mattered to somebody, especially to Shepard.
She tried to put that in words: "You seem to empathise with people pretty quickly, Shepard." She wanted to go on from the general to the specific, to her case, but in the end did not really dare to. "I... I think that's a good trait."
"Hah well, yeah, again maybe," Shepard answered. " Now, if you want to fulfil all those expectations – I wouldn't, but what would you need for that? I mean, isn't your contribution to this mission good enough already, what with potentially the entire galaxy at stake?"
"The problem is that we're a very insular society," Tali explained, "The events beyond the Flotilla don't much matter to the average citizen. Saren threatens the whole galaxy, including the Flotilla, but even with him and his geth minions gone, there are still millions more geth beyond the Veil, occupying our homeworld. It's our greatest dream that one day we'll return to it and reclaim it. If my pilgrimage gift doesn't contribute to that, people would see it as failure."
"So you work your ass off here," Shepard said, "protecting also your home - and when you get back to there you probably won't even be praised for it? Damn, you really deserve better."
This comment by him again made Tali really glad. However, in her opinion, he was wrong: "I don't think life is about what you deserve."
"Well, it should be!" Shepard stated, "Or at least, that's an ideal that should be worked towards."
His foolish, gallant, glorious idealism again. "That's easier to do for some than for others," she said, "and very difficult on the Flotilla, where our resources are so stretched."
"Hah, yeah," Shepard agreed. "I keep forgetting that detail. As a Spectre with my own ship things just are way easier for me. Well, at least I didn't yell at you, like I did at poor Elizabeth Baynham. Tell me then, just what would make everybody happy?"
That at least Tali could answer very easily. "Something that would help us better understand the geth. They've changed significantly since the exile; they continue to evolve. We've done our best to study them, but it's not easy. They're very reclusive. Until recently, they've never went beyond the borders of the Veil."
"Well, that has changed now," Shepard commented. "Unfortunately so, but hey, it's an opportunity!"
"Yes," Tali answered, "but all the geth we run into now are under Saren's control. We'd need to find geth operating on their own, independently." She paused shortly. "Or at least, that would be ideal. But I don't want this to get into the way of our mission. First we stop Saren, then I'll worry about my own problems."
"Huh. Interesting," Shepard said, "Well for now, we'll stop and resupply at the Citadel. Speaking with Admiral Hackett about the general tactical situation is part of that, as I've told you. There's that geth presence in the Armstrong Cluster, after all. I just don't know if the Normandy is the ship best suited to counter them."
"The Alliance probably needs bigger guns for that, yes," Tali agreed, "Besides, it would distract us from Saren, and I really don't want that. Stopping him is my entire reason and purpose for being on the Normandy after all."
"That's true," Shepard said, "but if all quarians are like you the Alliance Navy probably should borrow some more from the Migrant Fleet." He grinned. "Maybe I should propose that to the top brass."
Again a very welcome compliment, given the source, but it also made Tali somewhat sad. Few would speak so highly about quarians. After a pause she said softly: "Your people seem to be the only ones at least not totally dismissing us out of hand, just because of who we are and what our ancestors did. Dr Chloe, you, Lieutenant Alenko, you all have been more decent to me than people in Citadel space usually are to quarians."
"We're far from perfect," Shepard said, equally soft "And far from perfect on this point, too"
"I know," Tali answered, "But it's still good to be on this ship, the crew is for the most part very nice. I think I've lucked out on my pilgrimage so far."
"Don't worry," Shepard said. He lightly touched her upper arm, a gesture of reassurance. "You'll have further luck, enough to find your ideal pilgrimage. We'll make sure of that, luck has nothing to do with it. "
Tali just nodded, secretly happy.