Continuation of the last chapter…

Once we were both out side of the door we couldn't hold back our laughter any more.

'That went better than expected,' I said once I could breath again.

'Way better,' Vanity agreed.

'Do you want to see if we can get Skulduggery and the others to go to a movie?' I asked.

'Is there anything good there?' Van asked back.

'Puss in boots,' I replied with a shrug.

'Are they seriously going to go and watch that?' she asked me.

'Nope, but I think we can all go and watch Tin Tin if we both put our minds together,' I replied and we walked back inside.

Julia Gillard was yelling about how she wasn't going to stand for anymore teenagers walking in, talking to her like she was a complete idiot and hitting her. Naturally Van looked at her with one of her eyebrows raised and I had something to say.

'Have a minty,' I offered politely.

'See what I mean?' she yelled. Erskine was trying unsuccessfully to calm her down and Skulman would have been rolling his eyes if he had the option.

'None of it makes sense!' Julia cried while looking at us. Van was now inspecting her nails and had completely missed the whole thing, or at least most of it.

'I don't like the colour,' she said with a thoughtful face.

'It's not really you,' I replied and snuck a look at Julia's face. She was going to blow a gasket anytime soon.

'What is it about me that you don't like?' she asked yelling – ish.

'Your hair,' Van said and I smirked.

'Your hair just makes everyone hungry. It's a good thing,' Now more than ever she was going to kill me. I gave a charming little smile and was lead out of the room by Skulduggery's hand on my shoulder.

'Do you have to?' he asked me. 'This situation is dangerous enough without you and Vanity stirring things up.'

'It's the only thing I know how to do successfully,' I replied with a straight face. 'And I have never liked her.'

Skulduggery sighed.

'Can we go and see a movie?' I asked him.

'I will ask Tanith to take you both while I try and get things here in some sort of order. We still have the problem of the attackers on our hands you know,' he said sounding annoyed.

'I know. But with us seeing the movie we would be out of your hair for a little while,' I said. I hoped that he would fall for the old tricks. Play on what they really wanted and/or cared about and you were bound to get what you wanted.

'Fine.'

The two of us walked back inside and everyone watched us warily. They were trying to find out why Skul looked annoyed (if possible) and I looked happy. I walked over to Van and stood next to her like the good little rule follower I was. The poor girl was still stuck on her nails.

'I am really starting to hate this colour. Of all the colours to be stuck when I get transported to Ireland. Seriously,' she complained.

'It's a hard knock life for us,' I replied with a smirk.

'This is insulting,' Julia said. I continued the rest of the quote for her.

'Don't they know how dangerous I am? I am very, very dangerous. I'm a killer. I'm a trained killing machine. And still they send you. A child,' I finished and hid because of the glare that she gave me.

'I'll kill you,' she said evilly. 'I'll even kill you for free.' I laughed gleefully at the quote she had some how managed to get.

'How big was your house?' Vanity suddenly asked.

'Why?' Julia asked back, her mind taken off me for the moment.

'Don't know, don't care, hope not, so there,' Vanity replied and looked up again.

'What the hell?' she whispered.

'I don't seriously know,' I replied to her question. She turned her eyes to me in full glare.

'You can't have slaughter without laughter!' I told her.

Suddenly time moved slower than Alice's fall down the rabbit hole. The windows on either side shattered into millions of pieces and men jumped in.

'Hot Guy! Julia! Tony! Loki! What are you guys doing here?' Vanity said, acting as if they were good friends.

'How do you know them?' I asked Van. She shrugged.

'They invaded my school.' I nodded. We went to different schools, something to do with our parents wanting us to have different friends or something.

'Now Julia,' Van said starting again, this time talking to the real Julia Gillard. 'I'd like to negotiate with you the best possible way for the world to appreciate you as the real Julia! We wouldn't want anything but.'

Julia went crazy. She started beating the beep out of our attackers. About two seconds (alright, I do exagurate a lot) after, they were all out cold on the ground. I walked over tot hem, pretended to study them closely to try and find a clue or something and nodded.

'What did you find?' asked Erskine.

'They are Homo sapiens,' I said in a very serious voice and walked over to Julia (the awake, crazy one). Skulduggery rolled his eyes.

'Who are you?' she screamed. 'Give me a right answer!'

'I shall clasp my hands together and bow to the four corners of the world.

'My surname is Lu and my personal name is Yu, but I am not to be confused with the eminent author of The Classic of Tea. My family is quite undistinguished, and since I am the tenth of my father's sons and rather strong, I am usually referred to as Number Ten Ox. My father died when I was eight. A year later my mother followed him to the yellow springs beneath the earth, and since then I have lived with Uncle Nung and Auntie Hua in the village of Ku-fu in the valley of Cho. We take great pride in our landmarks. Until recently we also took pride in two gentlemen who were such perfect specimens that people used to come for miles just to stare at them, so perhaps I should begin a description of my village with a couple of classics,' I said. [1]

Ghastly's mouth hung open.

'You should really close that, you might catch a fly,' Vanity said

It snapped shut.

'We need to figure out who these attackers are and what they want from us,' Val said trying to make sense of the situation that I had somehow placed us in.

'To China!' Vanity and I yelled at the same time and started walking deeper into the sanctuary.

'Where are you going?' asked Skulman.

'To China,' I replied in a nuh duh tone.

'She is outside,' Tanith said.

'Dam, I thought someone had finally done the right thing and placed the woman in gaol!' I said and dragged Vanity outside.

'And believe me, I'll kill them for free!' came Julia's voice. I laughed at the quote.

'Dam, we did good. We're already on someone's hit list. At this young age as well!' Vanity said and lent on the Bentley to wait. I opened my mouth to say something but she beat me too it.

'Dumb, I know, but you have already had your chance to annoy Skulduggery and now is my turn,' she said in a manner that could only be described as glee. I winced. She was dead.

Oh well.

When Skulduggery finally did come out and see Vanity leaning on the car his face turned fifty shades of purple, not that it was possible and he walked over and pulled her away from the car.

'Get away from the car!' he practically growled.

'I was only waiting for you,' Van said innocently. I once again rolled my eyes. She really did have a death wish.

'He had been in a foul mood for a month,' I said, trying to distract Skulduggery from comitting a murder. I simply could not afford to have that on my hands at the moment. All that paper work! 'For days he did nothing but lie on his pallet and drink himself into obliviation, and when he was sober, he pinned up sketches of government officals and riddled the wall od the shack with throwing knives.' [2]

I was stared at once again.

'What?' I asked.

'Right, Tanith, you take your bike home and Ghastly to Val's place and I will take the rest to Val's place. I will drop Val off and go to your house. Then I will take you and the twins to the cinema and you have to watch whatever movie they want,' said Skulduggery.

'Fun,' Tanith said sarcastically.

'I know,' I said acting as if I hadn't realised that it was sarcastic.

'Can I get a beach ball first?' asked Vanity.

'Oh no,' muttered Tanith while Val was looking happy at not getting stuck with us and going on a case.

Skulduggery, grugingly, took us all to get a beach ball and then to the movies.

'What are we watching?' Tanith asked.

'Tin Tin!' Van and I said. So while Tanith went to buy tickets, (I refused to) Van and I went to sit on a table.

'Girls, do you want popcorn?' she asked a little later.

'Yep,' we replied at the same time. After Tanith had left though Vanity looked at me.

'Why do you want popcorn? Oh,' she said and I just grinned evilly.

'We have an hour till the movie. What do you want to do?' Tanith asked us. 'I'll get the popcorn later.

'Back in a min,' I said and walked over to the counter.

'Can I please have one ticket to Monty Python and the Holy Grail?' I asked the man there who looked as smart as the dumbest pea there was ever.

'What is that?' he asked me while I face palmed.

'Nothing. But can I ask about your return policy on popcorn?'

'What is wrong with it?' he said and looked around confused.

'It saw your face,' I replied and ran off happily.

'What did you just do?' Tanith asked me once I was back a the table we had been sitting at.

'I just asked him what his return policy on popcorn was,' said I with a shrug.

'Crazy,' Tanith muttered.

'Always,' I said. 'Are we going to blow the beach ball up?'

'Now?' asked Tanith.

'Before we go in,' said Vanity.

'Oh Jesus,' Tanith said.

'I'm sorry. I hadn't realised that I had interrupted your morning prayers. We'll leave after,' I replied with a smirk. [3]

It took us a rough three quarters of an hour to blow the beach ball up. We didn't have a pump so we had gone around to all the other people and ask them if they had one. Naturally they looked at us like we had all tried to jump off a cliff, but oh well.

In the end we managed to get Tanith blowing it up like you would a balloon and us standing there laughing.

It was blown up and we all went to line up for the movie. Just as we walked past another door though, they were playing the Lion King. I poked my head inside and yelled out the ending to them. I think that they don't like me now…

We walked in when the doors opened and sat down somewhere in the middle. I made sure that I wasn't sitting in the middle and I put the popcorn on the floor next to me.

There were about ten minutes of boring conversation between Van and Tan :) and then I started to hear the foot steps.

'I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!' I yelled and heard the people outside stop I confusion. Tanith stared at me but I just ignored her.

I have had this for days (weeks) And I am not bothered at the moment to continue as I felt that another story of mine that I have neglected needs to be payed some attention. I am going to be, hopefully updating that one every day. If you want to read it:

.net/s/5788848/1/bLost_b_bfrom_b_the_bFound_b

[1] I know this off by heart. Bridge of Birds – Barry HughartHugart (my favourite book)

[2] The Story of the Stone - Barry Hughart

[3] The person who can tell me where this is from wins… (I know, but do you…)

I am writing this before I have written the whole chapter but hey, I am not bothered and it is so hot at the moment!

ColonelWalrus won I have to say. I nearly died laughing when I read that the dog and cat had gone to Christmas lunch before 9:30. I don't know why, I just did. (I tried to search you up but apparently you don't exist…)

Aly