Hot Damn and a Shaker of Salt ...

Dean frowned as him and Jo pulled into Bobby's drive. The lights in the house were on and he could see someone in the window of the living room. He guessed that Nikki either had known what was going on before he left and that was the exchange he'd witnessed or that sometime in the night she'd gotten a psychic news flash. Either way her prediction had come true, a woman had come back to save him, and everyone in the house was up and standing on the porch waiting for them. Jo looked over at him, a tense look on her face as they got out of the car.

"Dean, I want you to know I have a purpose for being back here." Dean's breath caught.

"You saying this isn't permanent?" Jo shook her head.

"Never got that far, just know I was brought back to help you, and I really wanted to get back." Dean's frightened eyes met Jo's whose were clearly terrified.

"Nikki will have answers and if she doesn't know, we'll deal with that too. Either way, your back and I'm not letting go." Jo's eyes were swimming with tears as Sam took three large strides and had her in a bear hug that nearly broke her ribs.

"Sam, can't breathe!" She ground out, chuckling. Sam set her back down on the ground and smiled.

"It's good to see you Jo." He said and stepped back as Bobby lead Nikki over to them. Jo hugged Bobby a bit tearfully as well and then turned to Nikki, not sure what to expect.

"About time you showed up." She smiled at Jo and extended a gloved hand. Jo's eyes widened.

"Oh my god, you're blind!" Jo looked back at Dean and who were both chuckling.

"Don't let that fool you, she took Dean out and didn't break a sweat." Sam commented wryly. Dean grumbled something unintelligible then elbowed Sam.

"Shut up, Bitch."

"I manage on my own between the three of them." She quickly projected Diablo's image to Sam who nodded. Jo caught the exchange.

"Thought your physic stuff ended Sam." Sam shrugged and cast a pointed glare in Dean's directed.

"Residual effects." Dean commented. "Umm, Jo, why don't you take Nikki inside, I need to talk to Bobby and Sam, ok?" Jo took the hint and guided Nikki back into the house.

"So, that's three people put back into play. Who pulled her out?" Bobby asked, referring to Samuel Campbell, Sam, and now Jo. Dean shook his head, not wanting to think about his Grandfather right now and from the look on Sam's face neither did he.

"She's not sure, she just remembers that she was sent here to help us. She's pretty sure it's just shore leave, though it'll be a tropical day in hell before I let her go again." The relationship between Jo and Dean had been something Sam had expected to see blossom until Jo had been mauled by that hell hound in Carthage and died. Sam's face scrunched and Dean raised an eyebrow at the look.

"Oh, shit."

"What?"

"How the hell are we going to introduce Diablo without Jo freaking out?" Bobby snorted.

"Alot better than he was introduced to us that's how." The three stood there for a second pondering the situation.

Diablo was the least of their worries. Dean was confident that Jo would come around like they did as far as the hell hound was concerned. Unfortunately, the biggest concern they faced was no one comes back without someone planting a hidden agenda up their ass. Dean's first reaction would be to call Castiel, but Cas was so busy elsewhere he dreaded asking. Not that he didn't miss his friend, but he had a sinking feeling that every time he asked Cas for help, some demon killed a kitten on the other side of the world. So instead, he opted for the usual plan.

"We'll deal with it one problem at a time. Right now we need to focus on keeping Sam from defiling our virgin so we can locate a Dragon." Sam slowly rotated an irritated glare in his brother's direction.

"Don't give me that look ... I'm on your side man. First thing I wanted to do when I got out of the pit is get laid too!" Sam looked about ready to explode.

"Dean, don't start with me ..."

"Seriously, there's things you can do ya know ..." A resounding 'WHACK' echoed through the salvage yard.

Jo led Nikki to the couch and sat down beside her. She was struck speechless that the woman before her was blind and had lasted this long. This life didn't exactly come equipped to handle handicaps. The weak were weeded out fast and only the strong survived, so if Nikki was still around then she must have some kind of kick ass ability and one thing Jo knew for certain was that abilities like that didn't come naturally and they didn't come cheap. Nikki smiled.

"My abilities did come naturally, I was born with them. Though you are right, my parents were killed because of them." Jo nodded, painful memories tightened her chest for a moment.

"Is that how you lost your eyesight?" Nikki nodded.

"Yes."

"How have you survived all this time? It's hard enough, I can't imagine what it'd be like if I couldn't see." Nikki chuckled.

"I think a better question Jo, is why did you lie to Dean?" Jo's face blanched. She'd had a sinking feeling when Dean had told her about Nikki. The angle had not told her there would be a physic involved.

"What?" Jo asked, backing away from Nikki slowly. A snarl behind her had Jo frozen in sheer terror.

"Don't worry, Diablo won't hurt you unless I tell him to do so. And no, the creature didn't send him for you. They can't control hell hounds. As you consider your options, and I imagine they are limited right now, I should let you in on a secret ... that wasn't an angel. It was a Dragon." Jo looked at her shocked.

"He told me that if I wanted to see my mother that I needed to collect information for him. But the minute I saw Dean ... "Jo sighed and hung her head.

"Did you know that love is the one thing you carry across with you?" Jo looked up, not bothering to nod, and definitely not wanting to get into a conversation about the things you take to the other side with you right now. Nikki's voice was deep just then, her accent acting like anesthesia to Jo's frazzled nerves.

She took a deep breath. "I'm supposed to find out what makes you tick, how much they know about Purgatory, and if they know how to get to it, and if I do that, keep him informed, then he'll let me see my mother. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I can tell you that I hate being someone's bitch, and I'm no back stabber either. Mom loved Dean and Sam and Bobby very much. So do I." Nikki nodded.

"I believe you. It's also very good news for us. It means that the dragons are ready to deal. We should let them know that." Jo started to rise but stopped.

"The hell hound is still here ... " Nikki chuckled.

"Never mind him, his name is Diablo, and he's been my companion for a very long time." She whispered "Illuminati." Jo nearly jumped over the couch because he was right in front of her face, his large teeth bared. She narrowed her eyes at him and frowned.

"Is he ..." Nikki sighed disgustedly.

"Diablo, you're a lecherous hound dog. She's Dean's girl, you want to tangle with him?" Diablo gave Jo a quick sniff then plopped down on the floor and rested his head in Nikki's lap, his tongue lolling to the side. Jo's eyes popped out of her head as the huge dog cocked his head and gave her a wink.

"I don't believe what I'm seeing." Nikki laughed.

"Wait till you have the unfortunate luck to witness the pissing match between Dean and Diablo. It's a pathetic sight to see ... these two arguing." Jo wanted to laugh but the sight of the hell hound terrified her and her hands were shaking. Nikki dismissed the hound who disappeared and Jo seemed to relax a bit.

"What are you going to tell Dean?" Jo asked, watching her remove her a glove, a new sense of dread coiling in the pit of her stomach.

"Tell me what?" Jo jerked around on the couch and hesitantly met his gaze, as Dean walked in to the room rubbing the back of his head and casting irritated looks Bobby's way. She saw everything on his face, he already knew. She swallowed hard and looked away from him to Sam and Bobby. They knew as well. She was here as a traitor, not a friend.

"That isn't true Jo." Sam stated as he leaned against the wall. "Nikki knows you never meant any harm towards us." Dean gave Jo a reassuring smile.

"We're pretty much used to this by now ... no one comes back just because someone likes us that much honey. There's always strings attached. We just need to know which ones were attached to you." Jo looked at him tearfully.

"I'm sorry Dean, I just wanted to be with Mom." Dean pulled her up and into a tight hug, she leaned back to look at him as he planted both hands on the side of her face.

"I understand Jo, I really do. We went through this with Adam to. When they sent him back to be Michael's vessel all because I refused him, it was all Adam had wanted too. But we'll work this out, ok?" Jo nodded, a bit embarrassed. She'd always been tougher than this, full of fire and spunk, a true fighter. But since she'd come back, she felt weak, broken, and didn't understand why. She felt a cool hand on her shoulder and turned to face Nikki, her colorless eyes seemed to strike Jo to her very core.

"Jo, with your permission, I'd like to search your memories. I believe that many of the answers we are seeking lie in your mind." Jo looked at Dean, who nodded.

"It'll be ok Jo. Right Nikki?" he asked nervously.

With a soft smile Nikki placed one bare hand on the side of Jo's face and they were both transported back through memories till they wound up in the Jo's last few minuets of life. They stood looking her bloodied body, lying limply on her mother's shoulder, and Jo began crying all over again. Nikki drew her into light hug.

'Jo, it's necessary for you to understand that these are only memories. Some you may remember, others you may have been commanded to forget." Jo straightened and looked at her. "What I am searching for is the moment you entered Purgatory.' Jo frowned.

'Purgatory?' Nikki nodded.

"We know that Sam and Dean's parents, and you and your Mother never made it to Heaven or Hell. That leaves Purgatory. It is my belief that you were being held there for safety reasons, but by whom I do not know. The closer I get to Purgatory, the visions become less reliable. I need to see what you saw in order to understand the process.' Jo sighed.

'But this is all I remember. I died before the explosion so this is what I saw, then I was just gone .. I don't remember where to or what I did ... I just remember being very lonely and wanting to see my Mother. Then something pulled me out ... ' she ended that with a small gasp and Nikki smiled.

'Exactly, you remember being pulled out ... '

'Which means that someone messed with my head ...' Nikki turned to Jo now and took both of her hands.

'I want you to give me control here Jo and let me follow the path of the memories. It will feel strange to you, because I will have to bring you along with me ... Just don't fight me." Jo felt pressure building in her head but just as she started to struggle it receded and she felt as if she were floating outside of her body. Streaking through memories, her and Nikki entered a brightly lit hallway that seemed to stretch on and on forever. She watched her memory self stand there for a moment then immediately check for wounds, watched her face smile at the miracle then shrink when she realized she was dead. And alone. Her mother had promised she'd never be alone ... Jo wailed in misery and crumpled to the floor. Time seemed to fast forward then, like watching footage of a security tape. She never moved from that spot for what seemed like a lifetime, then a man appeared, they talked ...

And Jo was back in the living room, watching Nikki move away from her as Sam helped to pull her glove back on. Jo swayed a bit and Dean wrapped his arms around her to keep her from falling. Bobby shoved a glass in her hand, mumbling something she couldn't understand due to the rush of static that was running through her head. Next thing she knew she was sitting in a chair, Dean's hands were rubbing her thighs and a blanket had been tossed over her shoulders. She looked up to brush a lock of hair from her face and noticed her complexion was white as a sheet in a mirror across the room.

"Wow, she really packs a punch, huh?" Jo commented shakily.

Dean chuckled. "Yeah, she's pretty intense. How are you feeling?" Jo took another shaky sip of the whiskey.

"I know why I've been girly since I came back ..." Dean snickered and Jo cut him a glare. He just winked waiting for her to continue.

"Mom promised I wouldn't be alone ... but I was in a hallway, no doors, no windows, just a hallway that went on forever, and so alone." She stated quietly, tears streaming down her face. Anger flashed through Dean like lightening ... Bastards ... she never deserved any of this!

"Jo ..." he whispered raggedly, "Jo, I'm sorry for everything that happened to you and your mom. If I could have stopped it ... " Jo looked up at him, anger flashing in her eyes.

"You COULD have stopped it Dean ..." Sam met Jo's eyes across the room as she jumped from the chair, the blanket and glass falling at Dean's knees. He was up in flash reaching for her, but she shrugged his hands off and walked up to Sam, an accusing look on her face.

"I know all about the demon blood, the lies you told, the things you did! YOU broke the last seal, YOU let him out, YOU killed me and my mother!" She balled her hands into fists and began pummeling Sam as hard as she could. Sam simply stood there taking the blows, finally grabbing Jo and bringing her against his chest, engulfing her in his long arms to keep her from hurting herself. She struggled against his strength to no avail. As the fight left Jo and she hung limply in his arms, Dean met Sam's eye's with sadness. Bobby stood helplessly by watching the exchange and feeling as if the elephant in the room had went on a stampede.

"Jo, it wasn't like that." he stated as he stared hard at her. "We all had to make decisions then that affected everyone on this planet, not just a simple few around us. If we had it all to do over again, we'd make the same decisions. One thing I can tell you girl, is that no one escaped without licking some serious wounds. And at the time, we all wished we could have joined you and Ellen, because Death would have been preferable to seeing what those two boys had to go through." Bobby put a tender hand under her chin and raised her head up. "For over a year I couldn't bring myself to look at a newspaper or watch TV. Because all I saw was a bunch of sick, twisted, depraved people committing crimes against each other. And it turned my stomach knowing what that boy was going through in Lucifer's cage, and no one topside knew, much less cared, about his sacrifice for them. So yes, you hurt, yes you died too, but being stuck in a damn hallway by yourself for eternity would have been nothing compared to what you would have gotten if Sam and Dean hadn't made the decisions they did. We love you Jo, we're deeply sorry, but you're not the only one to experience loss and pain. And now that you're back, you need decide on what you go forward with. Hate or Love?" The old hunter turned and picked up his whiskey glass, took his hat off and scratched his head, and placed the hat back on. Sam met Bobby's eyes with a look that clearly said Thank You.

Jo caught her breath and stood up as Sam slowly dropped his arms. She turned to him with a frown.

"Sam I ... I don't know what to say ... I just ... " Sam shook his head.

"Don't think that I don't wake up every day and hate myself Jo. But I move on. I won't lie, it gets easier to live with every passing moment. My actions are something I will carry with me for the rest of my life, what little there may be. I'll always be a target simply for who I am, his true vessel, and because of that, I will always have to make decisions that put the ones I love in jeopardy. But that doesn't mean I don't take responsibility for them." Sam paused wincing and rubbed his forehead. "'N doesn't mean that you and your mom were disposable either. 'Jus hope that you, Jo, are never put in a position that you have to make some of the choices that we've had to make." Nikki jerked noting his slurred speech, gesturing to Dean before Sam had finished his sentence. He nearly dropped to his knees as a gush of blood rushed from his nose. The seizure came on fast and hard. Nikki reached out to him, lessening the attack as best she could as Dean and Bobby rushed him to their bedroom and laid him down on the bed. Jo's wide and frightened eyes misted over, leaving her no choice but to bolt for the door.

She flung it wide and ran as far as she could before she fell to the ground, her body racked with sobs. She, like Dean and Sam, hadn't expected to come back and deal with the aftermath of having been caught up in their tragic saga. When she'd agreed, all she had thought of was that if she did this one thing for them, then she wouldn't be alone in that godforsaken hallway anymore. She was angry at them for letting her die, angry at her mother for not keeping her promise, god she was just angry. But underneath it all she knew: Bobby was right, there wasn't anything anyone could have done to change the outcome. Jo and Ellen were casualties of war, a war that Dean and Sam hadn't started, but were caught up in still yet.

She raised her dirty, tear streaked face to the sky and wondered if Heaven would allow her entrance. If she just gave up, here and now, would someone give her broken heart a chance for peace or put her back in that hallway? Jo knew one thing for sure, she couldn't go back there. Not after seeing Dean again. She'd kept him at a distance for so many reasons, and those had been quickly forgotten when she'd looked in his eyes in that alley. She knew then that to go back would be worse than hell because what they didn't know was that Jo hadn't been entirely dead. In Purgatory, you were left hanging somewhere in between. You remembered everything from your life, and all those emotions where amplified times ten. Then you were teased with reminders that if you were deemed good enough you'd go to heaven. If not, then you got a taste of hell to see if you're 'indiscretions' could be burned away in a cleansing fire.

Jo had never been judged. They'd left her in the hallway, hanging, fearing the worst and praying for the best.

Dean walked slowly over to Jo's still form, lying so helpless in the dirt. He removed his jacket and tucked it around her shoulders. He sat on the ground and pulled her head into his lap, his hand caressing her hair, as sobs continued to rack her body. They stayed that way till her crying stopped, then sat in silence for a while. Dean leaned back against an old junk car and closed his eyes and let loose a deep sigh.

"When I came back from hell and found out that Sammy had been shacking up with a demon and drinking blood, I felt a sense of betrayal that rocked me to my core. It wasn't until I had to drive myself away from that cemetery, alone, that I began going over and over in my head all the fucktastic things that had led us to that point. And I realized then that we'd been screwed from the get go, nothing would have changed the outcome. Sam had needed Ruby, needed the blood, so that he could defeat Lucifer and jump in the pit. Then, when he came back with no soul ..." Jo jerked at that, not knowing that piece of information, and rolled over to look Dean in the eyes. He smiled softly and said, "Yeah, no soul. He was a nightmare, girl. A pure unfeeling, no sleeping, killing machine. And I had to live, ride, eat, and talk to him and it killed my soul one piece at a time. Because his body was here, topside, but his soul was still locked in the cage with not just Lucifer, but Michael the Archangel, and they both took out their rage on Sam." Jo sat up and moved beside Dean and leaned against him. He pulled her in tight, resting her head on his chest.

"I'm told his soul is mutilated, scared so badly it looks like raw meat. His mind is lacerated, Death had to erect a wall so that the memories of his torture won't come crashing back and kill him, though he's been having seizures like the one you just saw and that doesn't bode well for the wall. See, time goes by real slow in hell. I figure Sam spent at least a hundred years or maybe more in there with them; alot longer than I did. It's why Nikki is here. She keeps him this side of the grave."

"Dean, I'm sorry." Jo whispered, but Dean tightened his arms around her.

"No, don't. You see Jo, coming back isn't natural. Once you're dead, you're supposed to stay dead. That's what all the baggage is when you come back. You aren't supposed to know how to handle it because you aren't supposed to be here." Jo looked up at him stricken. "Not saying I don't want you here, just saying it's against the laws of nature Jo. It's why you're feeling the way you do right now."

"How did you and Sam handle it?" Dean laughed.

"Violence and Alcoholism sweetheart. It's the way we Winchester's handle everything, didn't you know that?" He winked at her and for the first time she smiled at him, but her face turned serious once more.

"Is he ok? I didn't do anything to ..." Dean shook his head.

"Nah, Nikki's with him right now, dealing with Sam's usual bout of guilt and rage. I figure Francis should be up and pouting soon, moping around trying to figure out how he can get Diablo to use him as a chew toy to make amends to you or some such shit, before Nikki puts him on lockdown." Jo slapped him hard on the chest. "What a shitty thing to say to me Dean!" Dean rolled his eyes, stood up, and pulled Jo to her feet.

"I love you Jo, I think you know that, and I think you love me too." Jo looked away then back, the answer plainly written on her face. "Heh, I knew it!" His cocky grin drew a glare from Jo. "Thing is, you have to move on Jo. We can't side step the issue, walk on glass around you, or ignore it. Shit's going to get bad soon, we may not make it," Dean paused for a moment, "again." He stated wryly. "It's the life we lead Jo. You died once. Sucks, move on." He turned and left her there, staring at his retreating back. Jo sighed. Violence and alcoholism, huh? She glanced at the road. Wonder if there's a liquor store nearby? A bottle of Hot Dam or tequila and a shaker of salt sounds like a plan.