AN: Thanks so much for adding this to your alerts/favorite stories! Sorry this one is shorter than usual. I promise to give you a nice long one soon and update more frequently. Thanks to all those that are still reading! Review review review if you so desire ;)
I love the way she looks in the morning. The way her face seems to hold the tranquility of her dreams. Her breathing is calm and even. Heather isn't an uptight person for the most part, but she worries a lot about those she cares about. She worries about me and I know she worries about her family. I know that it's killing her that her relationship with her mom is severed. I feel even worse knowing that I'm the reason for it. Her mom means everything to her. She used to tell me stories about how after her dad died she felt like she had to fill the void in her mom's heart. She became more of a close companion and confidant than just simply her daughter. Every time her mom was around, Heather had a smile that could light up the world. That smile is fading. When she mentions her mom or something reminds her of her, she doesn't smile like she used to. The soft smile is filled with pain and sadness and seems closer to wincing than anything else. I hate seeing her like that knowing that my situation is part of what is causing her pain.
Today we decide to take a relaxing day to ourselves and I convince her to drive to one of the parks I love to go to. Even if she hates going out in public with the possibility of paparazzi spotting us, she agrees. I think Heather would prefer to live her life inside the house all day so she could be her crazy, silly self without anyone really caring about whether she was wearing sweats or designer clothes that day. The whole idea of paparazzi freaks her out. I guess it's something that I've accepted comes with the fame. It's the price of being a celebrity. I'll admit, it's gone from 0 to 60 over the past three years. It seems crazy that I was able to get in my car and go to the grocery store without being spotted by someone just a couple years ago.
She takes my hand and helps me out of the car as we start our walk around the park. I love this place because it's lined with huge trees and small lakes. It feels so out of place in the big city, but it's a nice break from the hustle and bustle. My favorite thing about it is that it's secluded and quiet. It's located a bit further away from the city in a suburban area. There are always families here with kids playing and people walking their pets. When I'm here I'm not being overwhelmed with fans wanting me to sign autographs or people taking pictures. I'm able to just be a normal person and observe the world around me without distraction. We see a couple sitting on a blanket under a tree playing with their baby. I look over and see Heather watching them with a smile across her face. For a moment, that smile that lights up everything is back as she looks over at me and squeezes my hand then gives me a quick peck on the lips. It gives me hope that maybe that smile will return one day when she is holding our baby. We continue walking until we reach an open spot of grass.
"Are you okay babe?" I ask as we sit down on the ground next to a small lake.
"Yeah, I'm okay," she replies as she tugs my arm and pulls me closer to her. I move over and lay my head on her shoulder as she links her arm through mine.
"You know, you don't have to do this," I say.
"Do what?" She replies.
"All of this. This baby, this drama, this complicated life that you are going to have now," I reply softly.
"Hey," she says as she lifts up my chin to look at her, "I don't want anything else. This is what I want. I want to be here with you. You come with a baby, our baby. It's a package deal for me. It's not complicated. I love you and I love this baby too. Seems simple enough to me."
I smile at her. I'm speechless. Sometimes I wonder if it's all her of if she has someone slipping her a script of lines to say to me that will make my heart melt. Even though I know she is all in this, I still feel like we need to discuss her mother. I don't want to live with the regret of breaking up that relationship just so we can be together.
"We need to fix things with your mom if we're going to do this. I feel so guilty about it," I reply as I feel tears stinging my eyes. Stupid hormones.
"She'll come around Nay. I guarantee you the second she sees that baby in my arms and he or she's calling her grandma, she's gonna have a hard time being upset ," Heather replies. She kisses me than hugs me closer to her.
"I hope so. I just don't want you to regret this," I say. She smiles and shakes her head.
"I don't. I won't. I will never, ever regret loving you," she replies. I know she means it but I also know what her mom means to her.
We decide to head back to my place. Heather has been staying at my apartment ever since the accident a few weeks ago. At first, she was there to make sure I was taken care of, now I think she's just gotten so used to sleeping in the same bed that she doesn't want to go home. We never really talked about her moving in, but it's just sort of happened. She rarely goes back to her place and nearly all of her clothes and shoes are at my house. I usually am the type of person that likes my alone time, but with Heather I never feel like she is taking away from it. She knows when I need my space and is so respectful of me just like I am with her.
A few hours after we arrive home, I wake up from a nap and hear Heather on the phone in the kitchen.
"I know, Mom. Look, I'm not saying you have to agree with me. I just want you to respect my decision. I thought you of all people would understand this. I love Naya. I've loved her since the first day that I met her. I can't change how I feel just because she's pregnant. If anything, she needs me more than ever right now."
I decide to stay on the couch and let her finish her conversation with her mom even though I can hear the tears in her voice.
"Yes, I know that it's not gonna be easy. But I'm the one signing up for this. I just need your support. I just need you to be there for me because right now I could really use my Mom," she pauses and I hear her take a deep breath, "I miss you."
A few minutes later she walks into the living room and sits down next to me and lays her head across my lap. I wipe away the remaining tears on her cheeks with my thumb as she calms down under my touch.
"Is she still upset?" I ask as I stroke my fingers through her hair.
"She's gonna be upset for a while. She's not angry anymore. But I know she still doesn't agree with it. I just don't like feeling like this. Like I've disappointed her," Heather replies.
"I'm so sorry, baby. I know this is hard for you. I wish I knew the right thing to say," I reply.
"You're here. That's what's important. In her mind, my life would be easier if I stayed with Taylor. The worst part is I know that she realized a long time ago that I was in love with you but she still tried to hold on to this idea of Taylor and me living happily ever after. I think it just threw her off when I showed up with you and we were already bringing a baby into the mix," she explains.
"I really feel terrible about this. I don't like seeing you so upset," I say.
"I know. But just know that I don't regret being here for a second. I love this. I love you and I love being here for you through this," Heather says as she takes my hand in hers and kisses it.
"Even though I'm fat?" I ask with a laugh.
"You aren't fat. You're pregnant. But I love this version of you. You are even more beautiful to me because you are doing something wonderful. You are giving life to someone else," Heather replies. She sits up and scoots closer to me so she can kiss me.
"Stop being so perfect," I whisper as I lean my forehead into hers. Our lips hover inches apart and I let out a soft moan unconsciously. My body is already aching for more of her touch. She smiles into her kiss and slips her tongue across my bottom lip begging for entry. I succumb and as her tongue touches mine I feel my body start to react quickly. My breathing is heavier and all I want is for her to touch me everywhere. We continue kissing and I lay back on the couch. She positions herself over me, careful not to put her weight onto my stomach and then begins her assault on my neck. I moan more loudly than I intended as she slides her tongue up the side of my neck and behind my ear and she pulls back for a moment.
"I like this pregnancy thing. It makes me feel like I'm a lot better at this than I actually am," she chuckles.
"You're amazing at this pregnancy or not. Don't stop," I reply as I pull her back down to my neck. She laughs and begins unbuttoning my shorts and slides her hand over the top of my wet underwear.
"I love you," she whispers in my ear as she moves her hand back and forth. She's made a habit of doing this lately. She used to remind me of that on those drunken nights we spent together but it never held the same meaning as it does when she says it like this. We were making love then, but it was confusing and driven by our want for each other and there was so much that was holding us back from giving ourselves completely. It's different now. Not to say that I'm not attracted to her, because who wouldn't be? But making love to her like this is better. It's no longer guarded and we are able to give everything to each other.
I take her hand and move it to the hem of the fabric. I know she likes to be in control but I'm not in the mood for teasing right now. She slips her hand under the fabric and my entire body clenches as she touches me. It only takes a few seconds before I fall completely over the edge. My muscles tighten and waves of contractions spread throughout my entire body. As my body comes back down from its high she moves the hair out of my face and kisses me gently on the forehead.
"I love you," I say.
"I love you too," she replies. That's what makes it different. We are sober. We are aware. We are conscious of our surroundings. We both already know how the other feels, yet we still feel the need to remind each other that this was about love. Deep down I always knew it was about love even when we weren't completely coherent. I'd had drunk sex before and had never been told by anyone that they loved me while we were doing the deed. It never felt wrong or out of place when she said it though. I already knew. We fell for each other so fast, I don't think either of us had time to really consider whether the other was feeling rushed. We were in sync with each other's feelings from the start and that's only gotten stronger now that we are together. I never loved anyone as much as I love her. Sometimes, it scares the crap out of me. But just as quickly it makes me feel blessed to have such an unbelievable person in my life that makes me feel like this. They say that when you find the one that you just know. As I look up at her smiling face and her blue eyes shine back at me, I realize I've known from day one. She's it for me and I know I want to be with her for the rest of my life.