A/N: Did I mention that Sam's mind is warped almost beyond his own recognition? So this is going to be a trippy ride, pay close attention ...

A/N: Rated MA-Mature due to the scenes coming up involving 'implied rape', sex, and torture.

One last quick Trip ...

As Sam watched the terrain pass by through the car's window, he thought back on just how he'd managed to wrestle himself from out of his Hell warped psyche once again. Slowly he let himself delve into his subconscious, one last quick trip, just to remind himself that at least one small, almost infinitesimal part of his soul was still intact and clean enough to remember his love for Nikki.

She'd looked at him with so much love in her eyes, slipped softly into his waiting arms, as they sat on the warm sandy beach. Sam hadn't meant to get carried away but all he could think of was how warm her skin felt under the sun, how peaceful the sound of the surf was, sea gulls sounding off in the distance, and that for once the roaring in his head had nothing to do with remembering Hell. He blinked several times as Nikki's soft lips left his and she pulled back to peer deeply into his eyes, the bright sun light almost blinding him.

"You're thinking about Dean and what's going on outside of here." She simply stated the fact quietly as Sam nodded and sighed.

"I know you're not there anymore, and I don't want to go back. But ... " He disentangled an arm long enough to run a frustrated hand across his face. Nikki sat back in his lap, her white flowing gown rubbing softly against his thighs, and wrapped her legs around him, digging her toes in the sand. She took his hand and traced patterns on the top of it aimlessly. "You aren't real, are you?"

Nikki chuckled softly and said, "What's real here inside your head Sam? Do you even know?" A twinkle of humor lit her eyes and Sam laughed too, shaking his head. He pulled her back into his arms and lay with her for a while longer, thinking to himself how much he loved her softly accented voice.

"I'm going to stay here with you, forever."

He made up his mind and felt all his worries slip away. It was as if an enormous burden had been lifted once he'd said the words, but then almost instantly he felt ... loss. He could smell whiskey again, though familiar he couldn't place why he smelled it, and something else, something strange that he just couldn't put his finger on. The mystery smell almost reminded him of the snakes cage his dorm mate next door to him had his first year in college before he'd met ... met ... he couldn't remember the woman's name but knew she'd been important to him once. Jenny? Jennifer? Sam mentally shrugged, not caring about anything but the feel of Nikki's warm hands sliding along his bare shoulders.

He flipped her over onto her back in the sand, his hands sliding up her thigh to her hip. He groaned as he scraped his hand on something shiny in the sand. He was startled when he saw blood dripping from a gash on his knuckles. He glanced down and saw razor wire peeking up from under the sand dune they were laying. Confused he glanced at Nikki. Her eyes seemed far away for a moment, and he thought he recognized something in them. Pain, desperation, terror, and suddenly Sam's stomach lurched, bile rising into his mouth. However, as suddenly as the look crossed Nikki's face it was gone, along with the wire buried in the sand and the blood on his hand. She smiled and pulled Sam down to her, grinding her naked hip against his.

"I love you Sam. I love how in your mind you are so creative, and you have no inhibitions about leaving Dean and Bobby alone to protect Jo and save the world."

She whispered those words lovingly against his neck, her warm breath heating his skin. Sam continued kissing Nikki, passion being the only thing registering in his mind, as his hands and mouth explored her exquisite body. She responded to his touch and once again the pounding was back, but this time it was the pounding of Sam's heated blood. Distantly he heard a roaring in his head again, but dismissed that as quickly as he'd dismissed the strange comment from her. Who was Dean? For a moment, Sam stopped, shook his head in confusion, and looked back down at her.

His breath caught in his throat, his body ramrod straight, and for a moment his heart stopped. In front of him was Nikki's naked body, razor wire wrapped around her, and his hands were bleeding. He was wrapping the wire around her stomach now, slicing deep as he pulled it tight. Leather straps weaved themselves around her shuddering body; bloody tears streaked down her face and into her hairline, down behind her ear, and pooled on the sand beside her head. Remotely Sam flashed back to a room filled with a river of blood, knew that under the leather were iron spikes that cut deep when the rings in the back of the harness were tightened.

He could feel them cutting in to his jawbones as he screamed.

Nikki's soft hand touched his bare chest; her knee nudged his naked hip, urging him on. Sam moved softly between her legs, his screams sounding foreign to his ears. What was making that awful keening noise, he wondered? Sea gulls, he decided. He twisted his hands in Nikki's hair, felt the cold metal of the ring as he squeezed; the soft strands had always caught his attention, spilling through his fingers like inky black coagulated blood. The kind he'd been made to drink, rough hands had forced it down his throat, hazel eyes had laughed as he'd gagged, ripped his jaw out of socket to force down more.

"My sweet little blood whore ...," he whispered ever so lovingly into Nikki's ear.

He frowned and leaned back, staring into silent hazel eyes. Rough hands gripped his upper arms, flipped him onto his back, kept rolling him till he was on his hands and knees. At one point sand spilled from the man's face as the world tilted, causing Sam's stomach to churn once again, the grainy sand sticking to an odd tattoo on his sweaty chest. Sam grunted as he was pushed face first into the sand, taking in a mouth full, as his arms were wrenched behind his back. Strong hands dug deep in to his hip, shattering bones, digging under the skin so far it was as if it was worming its way under his skin towards his heart. Sam gulped in air but couldn't get enough past his constricting throat, the roaring in his head coming to a loud crescendo.

"How many times did you scream Sammy? How many times did you realize that you had no hope? That you were helpless. Totally abandoned and I wasn't coming to save you?" The rough voice from behind him whispered into his ear almost as if to a lover, and pain blossomed in Sam's chest, the hand constricting around his heart. He gasped, turned his head to spit, and opened his eyes to gaze down desperately into Nikki's desolate ones.

"Wha .. What's happening?" he whispered brokenly, gasping for air.

She smiled slightly, her cool fingers trailing softly down Sam's neck. "Here inside your head Sam, you are unable to distinguish between what is real and what is Hell. This is what you will have to look forward to, should you stay."

Sam sat up, dragging her with him, and looked around. The man who had been torturing him was gone. He frowned. "I can't remember ... I had something important I needed to do."

She nodded, "I know." He whipped around to face her.

"Dean ... Bobby ..." he shook his head as if to clear the fog from his memories "I have to go back don't I?" he asked her. She shrugged, the white gown now covering her body again, and knelt in the sand before Sam.

"Only you can decide Sam. You have the power in you to finish this, one way or another."

"I don't understand." Nikki reached out and placed her cold hand on Sam's chest. He shuddered.

"You are a vessel, but you were not helpless. You are haunted by Hell, but Hell does not control you." Sam shook his head, grasping Nikki's cold shoulders.

"Stop it ... I ... I just want to be with you ..." Nikki frowned this time.

"I don't have long Sam and I have to go." His eyes met her sightless gaze in confusion again. Why was she so cold?

"If He controls Hell, and you are his Vessel, you control Hell as well through Him. You can unmake what has been done. As his vessel, you can tap into his powers and use it. You are the true King of Hell Sam. Finish this."

- I'm very narcissistic so please review -