AN: There were never any plans to continue after the first chapter. This was just a whim.

The 'interrogation' had gone for several minutes, though it felt like days. And then Beckett had paused for a break and Alexis had come in, smoothly taking the Detective's place. Beckett was loud and furious. Alexis was calm and quiet. Castle didn't have a clue which was worse. His daughter had never been so… cold. She never even raised her voice. Castle had actually needed to strain his ears to listen as she cut him apart.

He could hear whispering from the Observation Room mirror, and wondered how many cops were watching his daughter carve him up like a pro. He was half expecting his mother to come in and take over. All he could do was apologize over and over, and he really didn't know where he'd gone wrong.

And when Alexis had finally gotten her licks in, she claimed a prior engagement. She stalked out to meet her friends; and Beckett swept back in before the door had slammed shut behind her. Thus began round three.

By the time they were done with him, Castle was seriously considering never writing another word ever again.

Those in the 12th Precinct parted before him like a wave. None of them would so much as look in his direction. He was cast out, exiled. There was nobody more Loyal to The Team than Police officers. You smack one, they all smacked you right back. Castle did the math and ran for it.

"You know that you shot yourself in the foot there, right?" Esposito said to Beckett quietly a few minutes later. "I mean, it was an accident, and he walked out of here knowing he wasn't wanted."

"Javier Esposito, my brother." Kate said warmly, with an amazing smile blooming across her face. "Alexis and I haven't even started with him yet."

"Oh. So that's it. Making friends with Castle's kid huh?" Ryan said blandly.

Kate gave him a light glare and they both retreated while they still could.

The Thunderstorm that struck New York that evening was the strongest in two years. Castle loved thunderstorms. The weather outside was frightful, as if God was raging in the air above them.

Castle was glad to have the place to himself for the night. Alexis was the light of his life, but she was yet to develop the same literary value for the scenario that her father had deep in his bones. Every writer knew the value of a dark and stormy night.

The whodunits of Raymond Chandler and Philip Marlowe didn't have the same thrill since he started working on real homicides, but it was tradition. A leather chair and an evening-ware robe for period writing, a fifth of scotch and a fedora for the hard-nosed detective pulps, his Browncoat space cowboy costume for cult sci-fi; french bread and wine for foreign reading... You had to appreciate the mood that each book was straining to set.

A dark and stormy night, an empty house, a snifter of brandy, a roaring fireplace, and a grisly murder. Castle reflected to himself. This is the life.

And it was exactly what he needed after his two ladies had torn strips out of him in tandem. Not once had he had to face Alexis teaming up with any of his girls. Not even Meredith. Thank you kind and merciful Buddha that mother saw the funny, or I'd be dead right now. Castle took it upon himself to bribe his mother for help. Martha had spoken with Alexis and they both agreed that a three day treatment at the Serenity Spa was the proper guilt offering.

He took a sip of his brandy, and opened the hardcover first edition to page one, when the doorbell rang, and he cursed under his breath as he got up to answer it.

"Beckett?" Castle said in surprise, and thunder roared.

He was about to invite her in, when he got a look at her. She looked like a drowned rat, the water dripping off her body enough to leave her standing in a puddle. She looked up at him, eyes wide and scared, somehow two feet shorter than usual.

"What's wrong?" Castle asked in alarm.

Kate looked down at herself and almost seemed to laugh. "I'm... I'm cold." She said finally.

"Get in here!" Castle said quickly, and she followed him in. "Warm up. I'll be right back." He led her over to the fireplace, took her jacket, and went to get her a towel.

He came back and found her bunching her toes in the plush carpet. Her spike heels were gone, replaced with soaked sneakers, and she had set them by the fire, along with her socks.

Castle stared at her as he put the towel around her shoulders. She had never gone barefoot in his home before. It felt very... homey. Very domestic, and Castle suddenly realized that Beckett must have known the house would be empty.

"I… I wanted to apologize." Beckett whispered.

"Apologize?" Castle repeated. Thunder roared again. He could not remember one time that she had come here and thrown herself on his mercy.

"I was being so crazy. I was... hormonal."

"Kate, you know you never…" Castle stopped himself. "What?"

The detective scrubbed her face with her hands, her expression tortured. She started talking compulsively, almost to herself. "When you didn't remember, I didn't know what to do and then I saw the article and I thought that maybe you knew, at least subconsciously…"

"Waitwaitwait, slow down." Castle said carefully. "It sounded like you just said..."

"Yeah, I should start at the beginning." Beckett sighed, squeezing her hair out. "It... um. Oh help."

Castle was stunned. He'd never seen her this... scared. He glanced around for something he could do to help."Um... Brandy?"

"No. I really shouldn't."

"Coffee then?"

"No." Beckett said quickly, then corrected herself. "Um... decaf?"

Castle stared at her. In the years he had been bringing her a triple sized coffee cup, to say nothing of donating the espresso machine, she had never once had decaffeinated anything. But, it looked like she needed a hot drink and Castle went to make some. She went with him, sitting at the counter while he got it ready.

"So." She said finally as the rain beat heavily against the windows, loud enough to be heard in the kitchen. "Do... do you remember about two months ago? There was that double homicide that we solved?"

"The one with the kidnapped kids?"

"That's the one. Remember how we went out and celebrated?"

"I remember the hangover." Castle admitted with a smile.

"Right." Beckett swallowed. "Well... I guess I'd had a little too much to drink that night myself. Um... Well, we were a little tipsy, and the bartender called us a cab... and actually, we were a lot tipsy."

Thunder roared.

Castle set the cup down with a solid thunk. He'd almost dropped it the last two inches to the counter as it started to dawn on him what she was saying.

Beckett's eyes were wide. A little scared, a lot embarrassed. "And... the next morning, I realized where I was and you were asleep and... I just ran for it. I... When you clearly didn't remember, I had no idea what to do, so I didn't say anything, but..."

"Oh my god." Castle croaked.

"That would have been the end of it. Really. I mean, we've been slow-dancing around each other for years now, and you better believe I'd want you to remember at least, so I just... didn't do anything about it, but... Well, like I said, we were both of us pretty loaded, so when... Castle, I'm... Rick..." She squeezed her eyes shut. "I'm pregnant."

Thunder and lightning bellowed in unison with a mighty crash.

"Oh...you're..." Castle's eyes bulged straight out his head to an almost cartoon degree.

"And then I heard about the reporter and what was in the article, and I started to freak out, because a part of me wondered if you'd picked up on something... and you know what being pregnant does to your emotional control, so..."

"Oh my god." Castle repeated, a little more shrill.

"I told my dad." Beckett said softly, big puppy eyes looking up at him. "He wants to talk to you."

Thunder roared.

"Quick, which arm goes numb when you're having a heart attack? Right or left?" Castle croaked, desperately seeking oxygen.

Beckett reached out and took his hand in both of hers. "Rick... Dad'll come around. I know he will. You're giving him his first grandchild, he can give you a break. So will Gates." She breathed softly. "We don't have to get married right away... not if you don't want to..."

Castle's mouth flopped open and closed, his eyes were wide, his breathing shallow... He actually gave the impression of a surprised fish. And then blinked. "Wait..." He croaked. "Wait a second."

Beckett looked up at him, cupping his face with one hand. "Yes Rick?" She said passionately.

Castle looked deeply into her eyes, and the corner of her lips twitched, just the tiniest bit.

The shock vanished instantly, leaving him hollow as there was nothing to replace it. He sagged against the counter, his legs going out from under him. "Oh, I'm being Punk'd, aren't I?"

Beckett burst into heartless cackles.

Castle tried to laugh. He really did, but it came out in a strangled sob, and Beckett pushed the cup back toward him. "Decaf. Bah."

"That was not funny."

"It was extremely funny."

"Remember this afternoon, when you just hated me? Wasn't that better?"

"Well, we wouldn't be us if we didn't have some fun with it."

"We?" Castle repeated. "What we? There was no 'we' here, there was you making me crazy."

"As it should be. Balance is restored to the universe." She said resolutely and stood to go. "See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah." He squeaked. Relief started to trickle in barely. If she could torment him about it, then it meant she wasn't mad any more. If she could let him back into the Precinct, it meant they were fine "You sure you don't want to stick around though? The weather-guy on Channel 4 basically said to start buying canned goods..."

"Oh yes, I'm really going to stick around all night and wait for you to seek revenge."

"Well I can't seek revenge at the precinct any more. Gates won't have it." Castle shot back.

"What can I say? It's good to be me." Beckett collected her shoes. "I'm going home."

"Okay. Travel safe. I'm just going to sit here and puke." Castle said weakly. Then his eyes bulged out again. "Wait. You know that I wasn't freaking out because of-"

"I know." She called over her shoulder with a grin in her voice. "Good night Castle."

"Yeah, it went off without a hitch." Beckett cackled into her phone the next morning. "Did you get a good view?"

"The camera was placed perfectly. I swear, that look when he heard the words 'told my dad'? I'm making that my new screen-saver." Alexis responded. "You should have been a film producer."

"Record enough sting operations, you get to be pretty good at placing the cameras." Beckett explained modestly. "So, how long do we torment him?"

"I think that should be enough. Though, if you're interested in playing it out a little more, I've got a copy of the footage I could send you."

"So do I." Beckett considered it a moment. "Nah, NYPD observes the Mercy Rule."

They both laughed for a while.

Beat.

"Detective?" Alexis said finally. "You know that I wasn't outraged at the thought of... Well, of you being my mom? Right?"

That caught Kate unawares, and the Detective struggled to catch up as her heart stopped. "Right?"

"It sort of hit me a few hours after we were through with dad. I mean, you flipped out too, and I thought maybe I was out of line getting all outraged at the thought of...?"

"Why would you be out of line?"

"Right, why would I be?" Alexis agreed. "I was freaked because all my friends read the society pages, and whenever my dad's in them... And you, you've got your professional standing to worry about. I mean, if there was something more going on, or at least something more than what happens with all the other gorgeous women my dad runs into; then one of you would let me know, right?"

The delivery was flawless. Alexis couldn't have torpedoed a burgeoning romance between her and Castle any better if she'd planned it, and it didn't take a detective to see that the girl had done exactly that. "You do have a problem!"

"No, not really. I really don't. You're one of the good guys, and if you knew my mom better you'd like yourself a whole lot more in comparison too. It's just... look,. If you were a teenager about to move out of the house for four years of college, would you want your father dating a cop?"

Beckett swallowed. "It... can be dangerous." She conceded, one hand going absently to the scar over her heart.

"Oh jeez, I'm sorry detective, I didn't mean to bring up bad things." Alexis sounded horrified. "I really didn't."

"It's a fact of the job, it's what I do. Everyone here tiptoed around the topic for a long time, too. But we move on." Beckett said professionally.

"Then it's not a problem, right? The article?" Alexis asked.

Kate felt her stomach drop. "R-Right."

"Oh good. If it did strike a nerve or something, I can't imagine how the last few days would play out in your heads." Alexis said sweetly.

"Right." Kate repeated. God, she's as bad as her father.

She looked out from the break room and saw a familiar figure stagger his way toward the espresso machine. "Speaking of, your father is here."

"Have fun."

Castle walked in, looking haggard. Esposito was the first one he came across. The man didn't even crack a grin. "Well. You look awful."

"Don't cross Beckett." Castle said seriously. "Ever. EV-ER."

"Good advice." Esposito agreed. "Dude, is that a gray hair?"

"I got about a hundred of them last night." Castle groaned. "Coffee please."

"How far did she take it?" He asked.

"She was one step shy of pulling out 'The Big Book of Baby Names'."

"Kevin if it's a boy, right?" Ryan appeared right behind them. "Javier if it's a girl."

"Ex-cuse me?" Esposito turned on his partner.

"You guys are aware it was Beckett screwing with me, right?"

"Well yeah, but if you two are going to go have some imaginary children, you better name them right. You are their father."

Beckett sauntered up behind them and gave Castle a tight smile. "How'd you sleep?"

"I didn't." Castle confessed. "You?"

"Don't ever make an enemy of your daughter." Beckett told Castle. "Ever. EV-ER."

Ryan and Esposito traded a knowing glance.

"For the record, I was never really fooled." Castle said to them. "The whole con was a bad play. I don't care how loaded I was, there's no way I would ever forget committing parenthood with Beckett."

"Damn straight you wouldn't." Beckett said primly. "But you were fooled."

"Was not."

"Was so."

"Was not."

"Judges?" Beckett asked of Ryan and Esposito.

"I say we go to the videotape for the instant replay." Ryan suggested.

Beat.

"Videotape?" Castle repeated in dawning horror.

"Currently in the surveillance lab, being remixed for the public." Esposito told him casually.

Castle let out a low groan which quickly escalated to a cry of pure horror and he took off running through the Precinct.

"Good to have things back to normal, isn't it?" Ryan commented.

"Oh yeah."

AN: Read and review!