Part two : « You were my only friend, I know you needed someone to guide you. »
Sirius was lying in his bed, he couldn't sleep. He was watching Remus' bed, thinking back of this day, back in fifth year when they had almost kissed. Because that's what would have happened, he was sure of it now. But he wasn't sure of what it meant. Would he have liked this ? Did he wanted this ? And most importantly, was he always wanting this to happen ? A year had passed now, and even though he tried to burry this day deep in his mind, it would often show up again. Now, he could put words on it. Words he couldn't say before, words he didn't allow himself to think before. But now, he could say them. But he could only tell them to himself, if he told them aloud or to anyone, his life would be ruined as for Remus' one. Yeah, because that was it. He was in love with his best friend. Best friend who didn't know this, and probably couldn't even imagine the thought of it. He burried his head in his pillow. What was he going to do ? He was afraid he was going to act weirdly around Remus now, because he was doing everything he could to make their hand touch whenever they could, because he was watching Remus whenever he could, when he wasn't paying attention, because he couldn't stop himself to think about what it would be to taste Remus' lips when he see him talk. He didn't want to hide it anymore, but he also, and mainly, he didn't want to lose Remus. Not have the boy talking to him, laughing with him, taking notes for him, would just be unbearable. When he woke up in the morning, after dreaming the whole night of Rem', he couldn't look him right in the eyes. But in the middle of the day, this all went out, he started to relax and to act normal. There was no way somebody could find out, he had nothing to hide. In fact, he didn't think much about it until the christmas holidays. James & Peter were going home, he wasn't, nor was Remus. There were going to be the only two Gryffindors left there, he would have no choice but live totally exposed to his thoughts, nothing could distract him and it was going to be really hard to hide it from Remus without being cold, or weird. Though, he did pretty well until Christmas day. He gave Remus a book for Christmas, maybe the only book that he had ever read and liked, besides those that Remus gave him. Remus smiled, the book pleased him but.. but, he had already read it.
« Hey, it's not bad Siri, I loved the story, and now, whenever I'll read it, I'll think of you. We can even read it together, like we did since 1st year, remember ? ». Sirius didn't answered.
Yeah, like they did until last year. After the almost-kissing-scene, he had decided he was too old for those kind of things and that Remus should grow up too. He was sure Remus felt bad, but it was the only way. He couldn't spend too much time too close from him, he would have lost his mind, kissed him, and spoiled everything.
Remus went on : « I know you find yourself to old to do it, but.. it's christmas ? You could do this for me, couldn't you ? ».
Sirius smiled, of course he was going to say yes. He had no choice, and he wanted for so long now to feel Remus' body against his. The two boys lied now in Remus' bed, as they have done so many times before. Although the story was really good, he couldn't focus on it. He was only thinking of Remus. And as they slowly and unconsciously reproduced the same scene as before, he didn't think anymore. This time, he was going to kiss him. And he did. Their lips touched, he sliped his hand into Remus' hair, pulling him closer to him. When they finally ended the kiss, Remus was blushing. In his eyes were a sort of interrogation. In Sirius' head were only thoughts about what he just did : He. Ruined. Everything. Between. Them. He was going to apologize, when Remus kissed him back. And kissed him once more. And once more. They stayed the whole day in bed, intertwined. Like nothing else mattered. They were together again.