The Greatest Secret

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own iCarly

A/N: This story details what it would be like if Sam and Freddie were secretly together during the series. Read it, I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

Chapter 34 (Role Play: The First Date)

The day came where the role play would begin, Freddie was taping the girls as they attempted to play the guitars. Both Freddie and Sam were extremely excited and Carly was extremely unaware. Everyone and everything was in place, including Emily, who was going to try and be crazy if she could. Sam and Carly introduced what they called the Blab Cam and Freddie first chose some dude from Poland.

They couldn't understand much of what the guy was saying, other than he was really excited and was screaming for his mom and dad. They could assume he was telling them that he was actually on iCarly and that it was the most exciting time of his life. Carly chuckled and Sam smirked as they turned toward Freddie and requested that he try someone from this country. Freddie held a slight smirk as he looked at the camera, searching for Valerie's name to come up on the list.

"Hey, there's a girl in Seattle named Valerie," Freddie said in a quick voice. He clicked on her name and Valerie soon appeared on the screen, she was holding a round pink stuffed animal in her arms. Sam smiled as Valerie introduced herself.

"What's up, girl," Sam said while giving a small smile.

"Hey you guys, I'm Valerie. A longtime viewer, first blab cam user. I just love iCarly!"

"Awesome!" Carly said in a happy voice. "You look kind of familiar, have we seen you before?" Valerie blinked and quickly nodded her head in response.

"Yeah, I go to the same school as you guys, but I'm a grade higher." Valerie shifted her eyes to the side and saw Jonah making a funny face at her, obviously trying to get her to laugh. She couldn't say it was a foul, since that would be telling Carly something was up. Either way, the guy needed to stop making funny faces. "Our men are just too funny, but we love them all the same." Valerie sighed and smiled. "Hey, is Freddie there?"

"Why would a girl want to see Freddie?" Sam asked in a slight chuckling voice. Freddie clicked his camera button and stepped up next to Sam, waving.

"Hey Valerie," Freddie stated. Valerie smiled and continued with the lines practiced. It would still be a bit rough for her, and of course it would be difficult for Sam.

"Hey, can I just say you're really cute." Sam was unaffected by this, knowing full well it wasn't meaning anything coming from Valerie. She immediately shifted her mind to thinking Carly was talking to Freddie, but then calmed the intensity.

"Hey Valerie, I think you might want to check the webcam or your brain, cause I think one of them is malfunctioning!" Sam said in a quick voice.

"Sam!" Carly scolded. Valerie raised her eyebrows and Sam merely shrugged. Carly sighed and looked toward Freddie, forgetting her crush for a second and thinking about the possibility of Freddie being happy, she could ask him out later when he was less obsessive. "Maybe having a girlfriend will make him less pushy." She smiled and looked at Valerie. "Hey Valerie, if you think Freddie's so cute, why don't you go on a date with him!" Sam hadn't expected that one, and apparently neither was Valerie, since her eyes appeared to be shocked.

"Yeah! It's a new feature on iCarly that we like to call: Date the dork!" Sam rubbed Freddie's stomach and laughed. "So, what do you say, Val?"

"Well, I don't think Freddie's a dork and I'd love to go on a date with him!" Freddie made a gasping sound and quickly turned to Carly.

"You won't be jealous?" Freddie asked.

"I'll try to be strong," Carly responded. She was actually being genuine in wanting to be strong, Freddie actually didn't care. Valerie and Sam raised their eyebrow and Freddie gave a slight shudder.

"Okay Val, just send Freddie the address of the mental institution you're locked up at and he'll meet you there!" Sam said in a quick voice. "Even though I'm more apt to think Carly's the one locked up in a mental institution." Valerie gave a laugh and Freddie walked back to the camera as the girls said goodbye. Once they finished up with iCarly, the group left the studio and made their way to the kitchen. Spencer had set half a watermelon on the table, so they quickly grabbed some silverware and made their way to the melon. Once at the table, Sam looked at Freddie and raised her eyebrow. "So, are you going to kiss her?"

"I'm not even sure I should take her out," Freddie said in an honest voice. Sam sighed and stuck her fork into the watermelon.

"Take the girl out, kiss her, and then step back before she pukes." Freddie smirked and raised his eyebrow, he would like to see how well that statement fared, especially since Sam never puked when he kissed her. A rapid knocking was heard at the door, so Carly decided to go and answer it. Before she could even get to the door, Emily walked in with some folded clothes.

"Uh, come in," Carly said in an awkward voice. "I didn't even say she could come in and she did."

"I can't believe it's finally happened!" Emily said in as much of a happy and excited voice as she could muster. "You're finally going on your first date."

"Mom," Freddie said in a complaining tone of voice.

"And with a girl!"

"Mom!" Sam couldn't help but snicker at the statement, but at the same time, she wondered what that was supposed to mean. After all, she was a girl, was she not? Then again, they were supposed to be pretending Valerie was Freddie's first girlfriend.

"We're all in shock!" Sam said in a faux surprised voice. Carly chuckled lightly and looked toward Emily. Though she had to admit, with Emily's culture, Carly was surprised that Mrs. Benson wanted Freddie going on a date. From what her grandfather told her, that wasn't allowed.

"How did you know about the date?" Carly asked.

"I was watching iCarly online. I watch it because I'm worried about your posture, Freddie. It seems someone forgot about our little rule!" Freddie sighed when he realized how much of a victim he was playing in this role play game, perhaps he should have thought this through.

"What rule?" Sam asked.

"Just skip it, okay!" Freddie stated. He knew the rule, as Sam was the one that made it up and told Emily about it, then told Freddie.

"Freddie, tell her the rule about standing up straight!"

"Fine…" Freddie sighed and looked to Sam, he then shook his head and made a slight groaning sound. "You won't get respect if your back is not erect." Sam spit out her food and started to laugh, Carly laughed as well. Of course, Sam's laugh was for the sake of role play, she wasn't sure why Carly was laughing.

"I've already got your clothes picked out for your date," Emily said while setting the clothes on the counter. Freddie sighed and rolled his eyes.

"I'm not even sure if I'm going on this date!" Freddie stated. He could have done without Emily's part of the role play, but they needed to include her, since the role play would make people thing the date was serious. If she was included, she would know that Freddie wasn't actually dating another girl while he was supposed to be getting married to Sam.

"You're going," Sam and Carly said at the same time.

"Freddie, there is a living, breathing girl out there who wants to go on a date with you," Emily said while staring at her son. "This may never happen again!" She then looked to Carly and gave her a look of hopefulness. "Unless, Carly changes her mind…" She walked over to Carly and the girl just shrugged.

"Me and Freddie are just buds," Carly stated. "At least until he learns to stop being so dang pushy, I would feel like I'm dating a stalker!"

"I totally understand." Emily placed her hand on Carly's shoulder then tightened. "Why won't you love my son!" She then gasped and Carly jumped.

"Mom!" Freddie shouted.

"I've already got this whole date planned out." Emily smiled and her genius started to show. "First I'm going to cook a fat free dinner, and then we're going to look at baby pictures. Freddie has the cutest little baby butt!" Freddie groaned and Sam's eyebrows rose, she actually had never seen his baby pictures. Carly and Sam both laughed and Sam put a smirk on her face.

"Okay, I'll give you a thousand dollars for one picture of Freddie's butt!" Sam said in a slightly giddy voice. Freddie rolled his eyes and sighed as Emily smiled. He knew Sam was actually going to start looking at his baby pictures. He looked toward Carly and thumbed toward his mom, so Carly stood up and looked at Emily.

"Um, Ms. Benson, we already agreed to have Freddie have his date here," Carly said quickly. Emily appeared confused and slightly taken aback.

"Why here?" Emily asked.

"Well because Spencer agreed to make his special spaghetti tacos." Everyone stared at Carly in concern and slight disgust. "What? Noodles can't live happily in a hard corn shell?"

"Okay, if I wasn't before, I'm officially freaked out by Carly now," Freddie thought while slowly shaking his head.

-NEW SCENE-

The next day was the date, Freddie and Valerie had to memorize a script that everyone drafted, because it would be far too awkward to do it without one. The one thing Valerie hated was that she had to wear all pink. Well, the color was fuchsia, but she still hated it. Yet for the personality she was role playing as, she needed to wear as much of that color as possible. Freddie had to survive a bout with his mom acting crazy and attempting to fluff his hair, the girls really did get a kick out of that. Sam had to admire how well Emily could act and make it seem so believable.

Freddie walked over to the table as Spencer brought a couple plates over, he had to put on a nervous appearance. That wasn't too hard, since he really was a bit nervous about the whole thing, but it would be okay. "Hey man, are you nervous?" Spencer asked. "You looking for some first date advice?" Freddie didn't need any of that, but he nodded anyway as he sat down. Spencer sat down and chuckled. "Well, first off, you can appear mysterious and all by staring into her eyes. Doing that will just hypnotize her!"

"Heh, I don't really think that works." He didn't think it worked, but then Sam usually did fall into a trance whenever he gazed into her eyes. Spencer was trying the trick as Freddie was looking at him. "Besides, if I do that, won't she just think…won't she just…" He fell into a bit of a trance and Spencer smirked at him.

"What doesn't really work?" Freddie snapped out of it as Carly and Sam made it down the stairs, they were holding some cooler looking clothes for him to wear. Freddie smiled and got up, but heard the doorbell. He hurried over and glanced through the peephole.

"It's Valerie!"

"Quick, Sam stall her!" Carly said as she gestured toward the door. "Freddie, let's get these clothes on you."

"Why can't you stall her? And don't use clothes and my fiancé in the same sentence!" Sam thought as she walked toward the door. She opened the door and smiled at Valerie, Valerie smiled back. "Hey Valerie, how's it going?"

"I'm doing well. Is Freddie here? Because I've been thinking…" Sam slammed the door shut and Valerie gave a chuckling sigh, she had expected that. After all, Sam pretending Valerie was Carly, it made sense.

"Sam!" Carly exclaimed.

"What?" Sam asked as she shrugged her shoulders. "I stalled her, I slammed the door right in her face." Carly and Freddie moved down slightly and she put his jacket on him.

"Okay, how do I look?" Freddie asked. Sam smirked and looked at him.

"Well…"

"Sam!" Carly scolded. Sam was slightly taken aback, she thought Freddie looked great, but she always thought he looked great. It was when Carly started to fix Freddie's jacket and then go after his hair that Sam began to get uneasy.

"No, stop that Carly. He's going to get mad…" It was no secret to Sam that Freddie did not want Carly touching him, and he would get upset if she did.

"Carly! Stop touching my hair!" Freddie said as he lifted his hands. He refrained from shoving her, but he was getting very close to doing that. Carly continued to mess with his hair and Sam took a deep breath. "STOP!" Carly immediately stopped and Freddie exhaled. "Thank you!"

"Come on Sam, let's go upstairs," Carly said while hurrying toward the stairs. Sam gave Freddie a look and smiled at him as she headed toward the stairs. He smiled back and walked to the door, opening it to see Valerie still standing there.

"Hey."

"You're not going to slam the door in my face, are you?" Valerie asked. It was somewhat of a sincere question, since when Sam did it, it kind of rattled her a bit. Freddie chuckled and shook his head. "I'm thinking that she thought I was Carly, but went softer since I wasn't Carly…"

"Yeah, probably. Can you imagine what would happen if you had been Carly?" Freddie laughed lightly and gestured inside. "Come in." Valerie stepped inside and sighed, trying to remember the lines that she and Freddie had memorized.

Upstairs, Sam was messing with the equipment on the laptop so she could get a view of Freddie and Valerie. Carly walked over and asked Sam what she was doing, to this, she replied that she set up a webcam and aimed it at the table. Carly's eyes widened and she glanced at Sam. "But that's spying, we can't spy on Freddie when he's on his first date!"

"Sure we can, Carly," Sam stated as she moved from the computer and to a beanbag, watching the screen with interest. Carly sighed and walked over to her own beanbag. She crossed her arms as the two watched Freddie and Valerie start talking. "Come on you guys, you can do this."

"We are bad people." Sam ignored it and listened as Freddie attempted to make the scripted joke.

"So the rabbi says to the nurse, why even have a three chip high def camcorder if you can't calibrate the white balance!" Yes, even he knew it was a lame joke, but for the sake of role play, he and Valerie both laughed at it.

"You know, I've never met anyone that knows so much about audio and tech equipment as you."

"Well nobody knows audio like I do."

"So who comes up with all the great stuff? It looks so cool online."

"That would be me." As far as Valerie's own webshow was going, Jonah was going to be her tech producer. Freddie was teaching him all the stuff. She wanted a co star, but she really wasn't sure where to find one. Sam had told her that if something should happen and Carly finds out that she and Freddie are dating and gets mad enough to cut off the friendship, she'd shoot for being the co star. They hoped that it would not be the case.

Hope this was a good chapter, drop a review.