Chapter III: I'd Rather Hurt Than Feel Nothing At All.
Hermione's POV
Professor McGonagall was just explaining about marriage and vows in our Marriage, Parenting & Household class. It was perfectly normal. Why can't I take it?
The heat of the fireplace warms my skin but somehow I feel like ice. I drank a bottle of cyanide that I prepare in case life gets too rough. I conjured a muggle knife and slit my wrist. I hovered it over my neck and slit it even deeper. "This is perfectly normal", I said out loud to myself. Aren't you supposed to feel pain when your life's a wreck? I stabbed my chest forcefully. Now the pain escalates from barely bearable to excruciating that I fell down to my knees. Then I mustered enough energy to drag my now numb body to my bed, where I immediately fell to a deep, cold slumber of blackness…
Draco's POV
I cannot concentrate through the whole day. My thoughts wavered to her. When the day is finally over, I ran to the Head's Dorm. The common room is as usual, nothing out of the ordinary that is weird. The whole atmosphere is too quiet and lifeless with an edge of creepy feeling to it and I don't like it. I don't like it at all.
I walk towards the sofa and found a piece of parchment.
"I thought I was over it. I thought I was fine. I thought I healed all my scars and wounds from the past. But now I realised, a lot too late, that the past was never past, it was never even over. It repeats and repeats until I can't take it anymore. Then it'll go way, and all that's left is the shell of me and numbness - a reminder of what used to be.
My parents are Arthur and Jean Granger. They were Muggle dentists. They have never lived happily. Arthur realised a lot too late that he didn't love Jean as much as he thought. He spent a night with a girl he truly loved, and I was born. My mother died giving birth to me. Jean soon found out that Arthur cheated on her; she forgave him but not me. She soon was pregnant. Arthur didn't know yet, he thought he had enough. He attempted to leave the house but Jane begged him not too. Jane then fell on the stairs and lost her baby. She was 3 months pregnant. The moment my dad realize this, he knew he had to stay. It was his fault. But Jane blamed me and tortured me every time my dad isn't in sight. When my dad comes home and ask why do I have those horrible bruises, I always lied. They died this summer because of the attack of the Death Eaters; I found their body on the living room's floor, covered in blood in an inhuman condition. I originally went to Hogwarts to escape her. In the Wizarding World, I thought this is my place. But then, some wizards hate me for being me, a lowly mudblood. I have been pretending from the moment I learnt to speak, but I can't pretend anymore. All I wanted is very simple. Yet why does it seem so hard? I regret being born, I regret being alive, and I just hope that someday, others will understand too.
-Hermione Granger."
Why does that letter sounds dangerously familiar to a last will, a death wish, and a suicide letter? Oh no. No. No, no, no, no. Not in a billion years!
I knocked furiously on her door.
"Granger? Granger, open the door!"
No answer.
"GRANGER! OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR OR I'LL BREAK IT!"
Nothing.
I barged the door but the hinge doesn't even give a squeak.
"Alohomora!" I drew my wand.
Nothing happened. Then I realized that the door must have a password.
I racked my brain to figure out what she used for her password.
"Hogwarts: A History?"
Nothing.
"Mudblood?"
The handle twitches, just barely noticeable. Then I read again her 'suicide letter' and I think I find the password.
I whispered, "Numb…"
And the door sways open.
Draco's POV
"Hermione?" I said, barely a whisper.
She looks like she's sleeping, if I didn't count the fact that her bed sheets are splattered and soaked with blood.
I yanked the sheets away and almost wished I didn't.
"No no no no no no no! Hermione! Wake up, y'hear me?" I hissed.
"DUMBLEDORE! POMFREY! SNAPE! MCGONAGALL!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, calling every Professor's name I could think of.
"GET YOUR SORRY ASSES NOW!" I yelled, not so appropriately but at that moment I just don't care what will happen, I just focused on not losing her.
I checked her slit wrists, trying to find any trace of life. I can still feel very faint heartbeat but it's slowing down rapidly.
She opened her eyes and weakly said, "D-D…Drac…o?"
"It's me, it's me, please stay! Look at me!" I begged, or more suitably, commanded, shamelessly.
"Y-Your e…eyes… Is b-beau…beautiful…" She smiled faintly. Then her whole body shuddered and her eyelids closed.
"What the-" Snape started but cut by Dumbledore.
"Minerva, bring her to Mungo's. Now. Severus, you too", Dumbledore said in a quiet, hollow voice and for once, the twinkles in his eyes are absent.
Snape made his way forward and tried to pick Hermione up.
"GET AWAY FROM HER!" I shouted.
I shoved him away and carried Hermione bridal-style, McGonagall grabbed my left shoulder and Snape did the same on my right shoulder and they apparated us to St. Mungo's.
Healers are running around, checking from room to room.
"May I help you, sir?" A healer asked.
"CAN'T YOU SEE HER DYING ON MY ARMS?" I lashed out at the stupid lady.
She quickly ushered me to a vacant room.
I reluctantly let her go and let the Healers took care of her. I was worried sick like hell that I nearly forgot about Snape and McGonagall are here.
Snape cleared his throat and I snapped at him.
"WHAT?"
Snape just glared at me and McGonagall looks very uncomfortable.
"You two may leave, you aren't needed here anymore", I dismissed them in a very Malfoyish manner. Then I turned back to Hermione's side and sit there.
"Hermione? I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… I know what I said to you was horrible and it's not true. You're a very great person Hermione; in fact, I'm the filthy one here. I never knew you had a horrible family… I only I knew… I'm so very sorry…" I talked to her as if she could hear me and I nuzzled the left side of her neck that is not injured.
"Please… Wake up?"
Hi! I want to apologize for any writing mistakes, I have no beta reader. Anyway, this is chapter is based on one of my favorite songs: Need You Now - Lady Antebellum.
Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now
Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time
It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now
Oh whoa
Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Well I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now
I just need you now
Oh baby I need you now
Thanks to kamiccolo's rose for giving me my very first review and subscription, Myx078-Secret for my second subscription, and to terraXbbXFAN2 for my third subscription :)
Chapter 4 coming up soon! Love, Guinevere Topaz.