"Thank you Danny," Laura beamed at him as she stood to clear the dishes. "It was delicious."
"No problem," Danny replied with a smile, moving to begin helping. Al waved a hand at him to sit.
"We'll sort the dishes," Al assured him. "You guys relax."
Danny glanced over at Steve before taking a sip from his glass nervously.
"It's a nice night," Steve said, shifting his chair back. "You want to go for a walk?"
Danny set his glass down, giving a slight nod, still nervous. "Sure."
Steve stuck his head in the door to the kitchen to inform Al and Laura before they headed off on an open trail from the back of the cabin. They were both quiet for a time, caught up in their own thoughts.
"Chin said it was nice to talk to you," Steve said eventually.
"What, all three or four words I managed?" Danny replied, folding his arms to resist the temptation of reaching out for Steve's hand.
"Yeah," Steve assured him a small laugh. "They miss you Danny. Everyone does."
"He anxious for you to be back there?" Danny asked, having heard the phone call.
"He's our friend Danny," Steve pointed out. "He wants us both back, safe. Remember I was at the house myself for a while, at that point, nobody knew for certain I was still alive or that I'd found you."
"Yeah I know," Danny nodded. "Is the Governor giving him a hard time? They need you back?"
"You know the Governor," Steve shrugged. "He sanctioned the rescue mission but he didn't think I'd be away so long. His feathers got ruffled, the guys a control freak, wants to know everything. Chin is perfectly capable of handling things, he's got full HPD back up, Kono isn't a rookie any more. You need me more than they do right now."
"You told me the Governor told you to drop the case," Danny said in thought. The trees were closing in, blocking out the moonlight and they slowed down as the dark crept in around them.
"I told you what I wanted Hesse to hear," Steve replied in explanation. "We very nearly had to drop the case, until we got the lead on the doc. It all fell into place from there."
"God, you played us both from the start," Danny said, pausing and shaking his head.
Steve looked apologetic and turned to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Yeah I did, I had my reasons Danny. I needed Hesse to think I was on my own, that I'd gone awol to find you."
"Fuck Steve," Danny sighed, looking up at him. "You took a big risk. They tortured you for fuck sake."
"Tortured you too," Steve answered with another shrug.
"Not like you," Danny retorted, remembering when Victor had sent him to tend to him days after Steve had been 'captured'. He felt a sour taste in his mouth at the memory, he'd allowed Victor to convince him Steve's suffering was neccessary. "What he did to you -."
"It's over Danny," Steve assured him. "We got out. I've been through worse."
"Don't say that," Danny said with a grimace. He didn't want to imagine worse situations, what Victor had done to both of them was bad enough.
Steve gave him a small smile. "Sorry, but it's true Danny. In my career, my job, it kind of comes with the territory."
"Don't," Danny said, shrugging to try and remove Steve's hands, both resting on his shoulders now. "Don't act like what he did, what I did, was nothing."
"You didn't do anything," Steve said, not letting him go. Instead he drew closer, hands running up his neck to frame his face.
"Yeah, that's the problem," Danny said bitterly. "I didn't do anything. In fact I just - I let him, I asked him too -."
"It wasn't you Danny," Steve said, looking him in the eye. "It wasn't you."
Danny couldn't think straight, his mind was too addled with thoughts, too confused with what had happened, with what was happening right there. His fingers twisted into Steve's shirt and he pulled him closer. He wasn't even sure what he was feeling was real, or should even be happening, but he silently hoped for more. When Steve kissed him his heart beat so hard it almost hurt, a quiet sob caught in his throat and he wrapped his arms around him tight like he didn't want to let go. Steve held him close but gently, hands running through his hair, cradling the back of his neck.
When they pulled apart Danny was reluctant to let go and Steve put an arm around his shoulders, holding him close, pressing a kiss against his forehead.
"Been wanting to do that for a long time," Steve admitted quietly.
"Don't," Danny said hoarsley. "Just don't say anything."
He felt Steve draw back, looking at him with a worried expression and tensing up in his arms. "Danny? Did I just fuck things up between us?"
"No," Danny said, shaking his head quickly and pulling at him so he wouldn't move further away. "Fuck no, I just - I wanted to enjoy the moment. Which you're now runining by the way, so thanks."
Steve smiled with relief and relaxed again. "Sorry."
"Too late," Danny said, shaking his head. "Moments over and now I'm overthinking."
"Danny?" Steve asked with some concern. Danny bit down on his lower lip, feeling nervous.
"What if this is a bad idea?" Danny questioned, finding he couldn't not run his hands over Steve's body now that he held him close. "After everything that's gone on with Victor - maybe this is too soon, we should take things slow."
"If you need time then fine," Steve assured him. "You know how I feel about you, you always have, even if we never said it before, you know now. That isn't going to change Danny."
"It's going to take time," Danny said, "To figure things out."
"I know," Steve nodded in agreement. "I'm a patient guy."
Danny snorted and grinned up at him, laughing. "Uh, I beg to differ babe."
Steve stilled and Danny had to frown at the look on his face as Steve brushed fingers gently over his cheek, rubbing his thumb over his lips.
"What?" Danny asked, confused. He'd been trying for flirtatious.
"That's the first time you've called me 'babe' in a long time," Steve said quietly. "I kinda missed it."
Danny swallowed down again, shrugging off the comment with slight embarassment but Steve seemed genuinely touched by him saying it.
"Yeah?" Danny asked, nervous again, at his feelings and how easily they seemed to well up within him when confronted with Steve's evident attraction towards him.
"Yeah," Steve nodded, leaning in for another kiss, gentler this time, undemanding, lips simply brushing carefully against his. Danny wanted to melt into it and he admitted to himself that it had been a long time since anyone had kissed him and made him feel like that. Even Victor. He leaned in, hoping for more, blindly seeking for Steve's mouth and Steve cradled his face, gently kissing him over and over again.
With some reluctance and restraint Steve pulled back again with a sigh. "We should head back, it's getting dark and we shouldn't worry them."
"Let's not say anything," Danny said as they turned back, Steve still held him with one arm around his shoulders. "Not yet."
"I think they may already have an idea something is going on," Steve said, "But okay."
They stayed close until the path curved round, leading up to the cabin. But even not holding one another they walked close, arms brushing together as they reached the porch. Al and Laura were on the swing seat, cozying up together. Laura was curled up and resting against her husband who had a contented smile on his face as he held her, rocking the swing back and forth with his legs as they relaxed.
"Enjoy your walk?" Laura asked and Danny nodded, seeing a glint in her eye.
"Yeah, nice night for it," Danny replied as Al grinned, looking from him to Steve and gazing away into the distance.
"Yup, it is indeed," he agreed.
/
Danny knew Laura and Al had figured something had changed between him and Steve, but they were both too polite to mention it. Still, he was careful how much he allowed himself to get close to Steve when they were around and Victor still plagued his thoughts day and night. He was beginning to understand what had happened to him, how Victor had gained so much power and control in such a short space of time. How he'd come to rely on Victor and how his emotions had been manipulated to feel so deeply about the man. He knew deep down that his feelings for Steve weren't a new thing, they were something he'd felt before Victor, though neither of them had acted on them. He'd buried them deep, but they'd quickly resurfaced. But he didn't want to make a mistake and rush into things, there were still issues and situations he needed to deal with. He knew Steve would support him every step of the way.
Sleeping had been difficult. At first, he'd had restless sleep, a constant cycle of tossing and turning. Exhaustion had hit so he did begin sleeping, but then the dreams had began, reminding him of the last eight months of his life, haunted by Victor. What troubled him was when he dreamt about Victor fucking him, how aroused he'd feel or be when he woke, sometimes soaked in sweat and feeling heady with pleasure. He hated feeling that way, it made him feel sick to his stomach, remembering their time together, what Victor had done to him.
As things changed between him and Steve, his dreams became more intense which troubled him further, like Victor was mocking him from the grave. Danny was afraid he'd never shake Victor's hold of him, not when he'd gotten into his head so deeply. He woke violently one night, in a cold sweat and gasping out for breath. He gave a small groan, pushing away the sheets, cock hard from arousal, memories of Victor jerking him off roughly with his hand. He rolled onto his side, squeezing his cock hoping to chase away the arousal with a grimace. He didn't want to jerk off to memories of Victor, it frightened him that his body responded so intensely to the memories of him. But no matter how hard he tried to alleviate his frustration and chase away his erection, he couldn't calm himself down.
His eyes adjusted to the dark, Steve's form lying still on his bed, not too far from his own. Danny sat up, rubbing at his cock as pleasure shivered through his limbs. His mind whirred, tiredness washing over him, he just wanted to sleep but he couldn't sleep like this. He got out of bed, moving closer to Steve, the sight of him sleeping soundly made Danny feel calm. The sheet barely covered Steve, it was a warm night and it had become entangled in his legs, broad bare chest lifting and settling with soft breaths.
Danny pulled back the sheet further. Swallowing down hard he moved onto the bed, crawling over him, desperate for the intimate touch of another, someone who was as far removed from Victor as he could get. Memories of Victor invaded his senses as he looked down at Steve, confused, scared.
Victor. Fucking him. Always pushing into him, passionate, heavy, desperate, taking always taking. Danny stilled, a small sob escaping his lips as he crouched over Steve, knees either side of his hips, hands just by his shoulders. Victor had made him beg, made him yearn to be touched, made him desperate for any gentleness, made him feel so special when he took him. All for himself, never for his iDaniel./i
Danny shook his head, sobbing again and feeling Steve's body jump suddenly in surprise as he awoke.
"Danny, what the-" Steve said tiredly, startled, hands on his shoulders holding him.
"I'm sorry," Danny gasped out, painfully aware how much he needed and yet how wrong the entire situation was. As Steve moved his thigh brushed against Danny's cock and Danny shuddered in response, unable to bury his need, too far gone to control it. "I'm sorry, just don't move."
He couldn't think straight, mind muddled with need and pleasure, he went to pull away and escape the bathroom ashamed, but Steve's fingers gripped his upper arms.
"Tell me what you need Danny," Steve said quiet but firmly as he lay under him.
"Can't," Danny said shaking his head. It was too dark to really make Steve's face out, muted light shading his features. "I shouldn't - this is wrong, I'm sorry."
"Danny, tell me what you need," Steve said again, fingers stroking over his arm. "Tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it."
He shook his head again, cock pressing heavily now against Steve's thigh.
"Take your time," Steve told him gently. "Your choice remember Danny. You want something from me, just ask me."
"I need," Danny gasped out, barely audible and he lowered his face down, resting his forehead against Steve's, enjoying the closeness even though he felt guilty for taking advantage as he was. "Need you to touch me. Please."
"All right," Steve said gently, unmoving save for one of his hands leaving Danny's arm and instead delving between them, moving downwards until he wrapped his fingers around Danny's cock. "Like this?"
Danny let out a moan of satisfaction and nodded breathlessly. "Yeah, yeah."
"You sure Danny?" Steve whispered quietly and Danny gave a cant of his hips just to feel his cock move into Steve's embrace.
"Yeah, yeah I'm sure," Danny told him. "I want this. Need this. Please, please."
He moved, curling closer, burying his face into the crook of Steve's neck and shoulder. Steve's arm wrapped around him, holding him close and steady. Slow and gently Steve set up a rhythm, fingers steadily jerking him off as he breathed heavy against his skin.
"Yeah, like that, feels good," Danny gasped, fingers clutching and nipping at his skin. "Oh god, oh fuck, Steve, Steve."
"That what you want Danny?" Steve was asking him quietly. "That what you need yeah?"
Danny rocked as Steve jerked him, rhythm sloppy but oh so good, he took in Steve's smell, sweat and dirt, not like Victor who was always clean. Victor who always took control. Gave him this only when he decided he deserved it. Danny hadn't been able to choose this for himself for months and here was Steve not really understanding but giving him what he needed anyway. Danny sobbed against him and jerked his hips, desperate and clawing his way to the edge.
"Fuck I'm close," he gasped against Steve's ear. "Make me come babe, please, please, fuck I need too -."
It didn't take much more, Steve's fingers deliciously tight in the last few strokes and Danny shuddered, groaning low against his skin as he came.
"Mmmm god fuck yeah Steve, Steve," he moaned, desperation giving way to satisfaction. Steve jerked him until he'd emptied himself over his belly before collasping against him with a sigh of completion. "Fuck. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Steve moved, but not to push him away. Both arms enveloped him and Steve rolled until they lay on their sides in the middle of his bed. There wasn't much room but Danny didn't want to pull away and Steve seemed reluctant to let go.
"Steve -," Danny whispered, wanting to explain himself. He knew he'd taken advantage and he was ashamed of what had happened.
"Sssh, go to sleep Danny," Steve told him, holding him close, lips brushing against his temple as he buried his head down again, content as Steve enveloped him with his arm and leg. "We'll talk in the morning. Just go to sleep Danny. Everything is okay."