six months later

Danny walked through the main doors of HQ to find the place quiet, Chin was bent over the computer table, Kono by him and he spied Steve in his office at his desk. Kono saw him first as she glanced up from perusing a file in her hands. With a wide smile she hurried over, pleased with the impromtu visit.

"Hey you," she said, throwing herself into a hug.

"Hey," Danny smiled against her, holding her close for a long minute.

Together they turned, Kono's arm slung around his shoulders and headed further in.

"Hi brah, how's things at the shack?" Chin said with a smile from over the table.

Danny gave a small shrug, and a smile as he nodded his head. "Great, thanks."

"You okay?" Kono said, looking at him closely with concern.

Danny turned to her, gave a slight shake of his head. "Just a bit of an off day is all. Needed to clear my head so I took a walk, ended up here."

He felt both pairs of eyes on him and gave a wince, he still wasn't used to the extra scrutiny he was put under from everyone. He understood why people looked at him that way, even if they didn't mean too, but it made him feel awkward even so.

"I'm going to see Steve," he announced before they could ask any questions.

He turned towards Steve's office, Steve had noticed his arrival and had stood up, waiting when he realised Danny was coming to him.

"Hi," Danny said, closing the door behind him, aware of Chin and Kono now huddled together at the computer, exchanging words. Steve was watching him closely too.

"Everything okay?" Steve asked knowingly.

"I'll be fine," Danny said, sitting on the couch.

Steve sat down beside him, hand on his shoulder. "You need to talk to me Danny."

It wasn't a question.

"I didn't sleep very well," Danny admitted with a sigh, leaning back.

"Not what you told me this morning," Steve accused lightly. They'd spoken on the phone like they did every day when Danny didn't stay over.

"Needed to think about things," Danny said, a weak excuse he knew.

"Danny-," Steve began and Danny held up a hand to stop the lecture.

"I know, I know," he told him. "Believe me it's not the first time or the last time I'll have dreams about what happened. I don't tell you every time I have a dream or nightmare about Victor."

"But this one was bad?" Steve asked calmly.

Danny pressed his lips together and gave a quick nod. For a moment he was quiet before he looked at Steve. "Usually I can shake them off, but it was like I was back there. You know when you have a dream and it's so vivid, so real that when you wake up for a long time you get all disorientated because your brains still catching up?"

Steve nodded in understanding and Danny frowned, glancing down at his hands. "First time I've dreamt like that for a long time. Thought I'd be okay but I just keep remembering stuff about what happened. Had to take a walk to clear my head because I started getting angry about it all. Actually that's a lie, Amoka told me to take a walk and clear my head, sent me in this direction."

Steve gave a small smile at that, squeezing his fingers on Danny's shoulder gently.

"Want to talk about it?" Steve asked him. "About what you're remembering? About what you dreamed about?"

"Actually I called Al on the way over," Danny told him. He saw the look in Steve's eyes and put a hand on his thigh reassuringly. "You know I don't like going into details too much with you."

He could feel Steve tense under his touch. There were things they talked about, about his time with Victor, but Danny kept the intimate details to himself. Steve knew they'd had sex, but Danny had only ever told Al what the sex had been like and the things Victor had coerced him into doing. Steve wasn't angry that he'd had sex with Victor, or that he wouldn't talk about it with him, but he was angry that Danny was being haunted in his dreams with the memories of their sexual encounters.

"Steve,-" Danny started, rubbing his thigh gently as if to comfort and assure him.

"Are you okay?" Steve interrupted, before he could change the subject. His fingers slid up Danny's neck, resting in his hair gently. Danny smiled at the gesture, Steve knew it was a comfort. "Talking with Al, has that helped? Do you need me to do anything or take you anywhere?"

Danny smiled and leaned into him. "No I'm good. Talking with Al helped and you're doing everything you need to do for me by being right here."

"You want to come over tonight?" Steve asked as Danny got comfortable, head on his shoulder as he relaxed.

"Yeah," Danny nodded and smiled. "That would be nice, thanks."

They sat quietly for a long while, enjoying each others company, Danny grateful for the silent comfort when Steve's cell shrilled and interrupted the peace. Steve shifted slightly before answering.

"McGarrett," he said and Danny sat up from him, feeling an old buzz at the prospect of a new case. They'd spoken about him coming back to work, but he wasn't ready, not yet. But he was determined to be back on Five 0 eventually. Steve assured him there'd be no problem bringing him back.

Steve finished the call and looked apologetic. "Sorry Danny, but we've gotta go. Go back to my place tonight okay, I'll call to tell you when I'll be home."

"Yeah okay," Danny nodded as Steve moved to stand.

He paused and leaned over to him, hand cupping his cheek gently. "Sure you're okay?"

"Great," Danny nodded with a smile. The walk had cleared his head, the talk with Al had helped and seeing Steve and the others had been all the comfort he needed.

"See you tonight," Steve told him, leaning in and giving him a kiss.

Standing, he propelled into work mode, grabbing his keys off the desk and heading for door. Danny followed at a slower pace as Steve informed Chin and Kono of the case they'd been assigned. Something about a double homocide. He watched as the team got into action, giving a smile, feeling the buzz but happy to see them go off without him. He wasn't ready and he knew it, even if there were times he woke up thinking he was. He left them too it, making his way back along the beach, calling ahead to assure Amoka he was returning to work. Amoka owned a 'Surf and Turf' shack where you could shop for all things beach as well as grab a snack and drinks. It was a busy little place and Steve had made arrangements with the guy who was an old family friend to give him a job, kind of flexible hours which worked well for Danny as he readjusted. Amoka was a quiet guy, fair and understood enough to know when to send him on his way to take a break. Danny liked him a lot and more often than not he and Steve would bring Grace to the shack to hang out on the beach just outside, Amoka plying her with shave ices and burgers. Danny had had to promise Kamekona that they'd visit his Shrimp truck just as often.

After a few more hours of work, Danny helped close up, deciding to walk to Steve's, the beach led right round to the back of the house. At first he'd just figured that when he returned to Oahu he'd live at Steve's. But Rachel had offerred an alternative, inviting him to move into her guest suite as a means of being closer to Grace, especially seeing as he wasn't going back to police work right away. As much as he wanted to be with Steve, he couldn't pass up the oppurtunity. Steve understood and assured Danny that when he was ready, he could move in any time. For now, he split his week up between the two homes and it was a comfortable arrangement for everyone.

He wasn't sure when Steve would turn up, sometimes with a case, there was no way of knowing when you'd be able to put your head down for some zzz's. At the house he made himself at home, lying out on the couch, watching tv and relaxing. Usually, at times like that his mind drifted and he thought back to his time with Victor. Al had assured him it was okay to think about it, as long as the old feelings didn't rear up or he felt the sway of being back there too heavily. Those were the times he needed to pick up the phone and call him to talk about it.

Danny sighed. After the night before, an endless sleep of being back in the mansion, being on his knees for hours, he'd woken up tired and jittery, the dull throb of beating music in his ears. But what had really bothered and disturbed him was that he'd woken up hard, having dreamed constantly about being with Victor, how physical they'd gotten, how the sex had made him feel. When Steve had called him that morning, he'd found it hard to lie to him, but there wasn't any way he was telling Steve about his nightmares. He had however been grateful to hear his voice, after unsuccessfully trying to ignore the erection until it went away, he'd jerked off in the shower with Steve's voice in his head, filling his mind with memories of sex with his partner instead.

He hoped to sleep better tonight and he could assure himself that any sexual encounters, dream like or real, would all be with the one person he wanted to be with. Not with a person who'd formed him into something they'd created in order to use, manipulate and control. Deep down he knew why Victor had created 'Daniel' and it was only partly to have the control and power over him. He knew the true reason he'd done what he did was to hurt Steve and he'd have succeeded if Steve hadn't been his usual stubborn self and gotten him out there, determined to break Victor's hold over him, phsycially and mentally. Yet there were still times he wondered if Victor had began to develop real feelings for him, even if he knew his own feelings had been born from the control.

It bothered him at times that something that had happened in only seven months could have affected him so deeply, even months after the event. But Al had given him books to read and they'd talked, sometimes at great length about the after effects, the mind was a sensitive area and easily manipulated under the righ conditions. He knew it was something that he'd never fully shake off or forget.

He was shaken from his thoughts as he heard the front door open and Steve came into view. He was grateful for the interruption, Al was constantly telling him not to let himself get bogged down with the memories, floating was expected but he needed to shake it off quickly, stay in control. Steve looked tired and Danny didn't need to ask to know the case was a stressful one, he could read Steve well enough to know the signs. Still, when Steve saw him the frown eased slightly and Danny stood as he walked over to him.

"Hi," Danny said with a smile as Steve pulled him close.

"Hey," Steve said before kissing him hard.

Danny didn't resist, knowing sometimes Steve just needed the connection to remind himself why he did what he did every day. To keep the people he cared about safe. Finally Steve pulled away, cupping his face with his hands thumbs rubbing over his cheeks as he enjoyed the moment.

"Sit down, I'll get you something to eat," Danny told him, manouvering them around so he could push Steve to the couch. He knew he wouldn't have eaten at all in between following leads. Steve sometimes ended up just running on his own steam, meals forgotten.

Steve didn't resist, settling and kicking off his boots as Danny heated up the last of the lasagne Steve had in the fridge. He took it back out to him with a couple of beers for them both and Steve wasted no time in devouring the meal and giving Danny a quick run down of the case in the process.

"Sounds like you've got everything covered," Danny nodded as Steve set his empty plate aside and sat back, feet up on the table as he swallowed down some beer.

"You think?" Steve asked turning to him and Danny gave a nod.

"You've got Charlie working in the lab, you're checking up on the ex girlfriend, former employees," Danny said, mentally checklisting what he'd do with what Steve had told him. "It's a waiting game babe, you know sometimes you have to wait for the information and answers to come to you."

"Meanwhile I've got a murderer on the streets," Steve sighed, it was frustrating.

"You'll get the guy," Danny said, "As long as you cover all the leads."

"I hate the waiting part," Steve said, gripping his bottle like somehow it could channel all his impatience out of him.

"Yeah I know," Danny laughed before leaning over to him. He ran a hand down Steve's chest intently, settling his palm on his taught stomach. "You want me to help you take your mind off things Commander?"

Steve gaped at him for all of a few seconds, like his brain was catching up with Danny's intentions, even as Danny began undoing his belt and the button of his pants.

"You don't have to -," Steve began as Danny moved to stand, pushing Steve's legs apart and settling on his knees between them.

Danny knew Steve had trouble sometimes when he got on his knees to blow him, like he was afraid it would remind him too much of Victor. Danny settled his hands firmly on his thighs and looked up at him.

"I want to do this," Danny assured him with a grin, "Just relax and enjoy it."

Steve took a drink of beer as Danny unzipped his pants, smiling as Steve tried to relax, settling his breathing as Danny pushed away the material of his cargoes. Danny liked the fact Steve went commando, made things much easier when he was in the mood to play around. Steve's cock was already perking up in interest as Danny took him in hand, slowly playing with him as he grew harder. Steve shifted, trying to get more comfortable with a small moan of enjoyment as Danny jerked him gently.

"That nice?" Danny asked lesiurely, like he had all the time in the world. Steve looked at him, giving a small nod before he closed his eyes and settled back against the couch.

"Yeah, yeah," he replied under his breath.

Danny toyed with him until he was hard, fingers wrapped firm around the shaft. Then he bent over, capturing the head between his lips and settling his hands on Steve's thighs were he could feel them tense and writhe gently under his fingers.

"Oh god," Steve muttered under his breath as Danny bent his head further to move his move over his cock.

Danny hummed in agreement, enjoying how his lips stretched around the head and the heaviness of cock against his tongue. Over their months together he'd began to learn how Steve enjoyed getting off, what made him writhe, moan, yell out, beg for more. Danny treated it like a new hobby learning everything about his partner when it came to sex and keeping him satisfied. He knew sometimes Steve held back, senstive as to how physical he could get with him, wary of rearing up memories of Victor. They'd yet to have sex where they fucked one another, but Danny was enjoying the build up to it. Part of him needed Steve to fuck him, just to eradicate Victor, the last guy to ever touch and connect with him that way. But they'd both determined to take it slow.

"Fuck Danny," Steve breathed out with a groan and Danny looked up at him. Steve was looking at him, slack jawed, eyes blown in pleasure, watching him as he swallowed around his cock. Danny was hard just watching and listening to his lovers reactions and hummed contentedly as he shifted to unzip his own pants. He got a hand on himself and jerked himself slowly, the same rhythm as he slurped around Steve's cock, feeling Steve writhe and gasp in enjoyment.

As he jerked himself to hardness Danny pulled back, clamouring to his feet, pushing off his shorts and climbing into Steve's lap, knees framing his hips, settling down on his thighs, cocks aligned. Steve pulled him close, one hand on his ass, the other in his hair, pulling him in for a kiss. As their cocks ground together they both let out satisfied groans, stealing each others breaths as they breathed harsh and fast. Steve lowered his other hand so he could grab Danny's ass fully, holding on tight and Danny set up a rhythm, cocks caught between their stomachs and grinding delicously.

Danny threw his head back with a groan, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling, letting it wash over him, washing away everything, the nightmares and the haunting presence of Victor that at times lingered.

"Fuck baby," Steve groaned quietly against his neck, mouth licking and nipping at his skin.

Danny smiled and looked down at him, cupping Steve's face to make him look at him and Steve smiled back at him.

"Steve," he breathed out, teeth worrying at his lower lip and Steve's hands massaged into his ass possesively.

"So fucking beautiful," Steve told him, leaning up to kiss him again and making Danny moan happily. "You close baby?"

"You fucking know it," Danny growled back against his lips, making Steve laugh.

"Yeah I know it," Steve agreed, letting go of his ass with one hand and instead getting it between them so he could grip both their cocks.

"Fuck," Danny gasped out, gripping the back of the couch to steady himself, closing his eyes again and Steve sucked on his neck once more, tongue laving at his pulse point. "Fuck Steve."

Steve's hand moved faster, chasing him to the edge and Danny felt breathless when his orgasm hit, yelling and shuddering, hips grinding against his lover as he came.

"Yeah baby yeah," Steve agreed, writhing under him as he came also, whispering his name through quick stuttering breaths.

Danny settled on his lap, always unwilling to move far, needing to be held whenever they got intimate. Steve never complained and put an arm around him, keeping him close as Danny buried his face into the crook of his neck with a satisfied smile. Eventually Steve shifted a little under him.

"Don't go to sleep on me Danno," Steve teased, giving him a quick squeeze before pushing him back. "Or at least lay out on the couch first."

Danny laughed and pulled away, climbing off him and laying out on the couch as asked. "Fine but just until we can take round two up to the bedroom."

"Yeah, maybe," Steve sighed tiredly.

"Maybe?" Danny grinned teasingly. "Really? You gonna make me wait sailor?"

"Randy fucker," Steve moaned. "You realise my job is more stressful than a day at the shack right?"

"You really going to do this?" Danny laughed, sitting up slightly. "You really want to get into an argument about whose day was worse? Because I hold the trump card babe, mental and emotional abuse victim here."

Steve gaped at him before conceding the argument. "Fine, just give me a half hour or so."

"Thirty minutes?" Danny said, rubbing his foot up Steve's thigh.

Steve put a hand on his foot, giving his ankle a gentle squeeze. "Danny, shut the fuck up and let me rest. Please."

Danny lay back down and settled, Steve rubbing his foot gently as he leaned back and closed his eyes. Danny watched him with a smile and Steve smiled himself, turning hs head and looking at him, knowing he was being observed.

"What?" Danny shrugged innocently.

"You seem in a much better mood than this afternoon," Steve observed lightly.

"I've had time to clear my head," Danny said calmly. "And I like that it's you I get to wait for to come home."

"Yeah, I like that too," Steve agreed. "I'll always come home to you Danny."

"Good, because I'll always be waiting," Danny told him softly. "I was just talking to Stan and Rachel today. They're going to visit Stan's parents soon, gonna be staying a couple of weeks. Rachel asked me if I wanted to go with them. I know I'm staying there to be near Grace, and they've been really really great but, they're a family and I can't infringe on that all of the time. I gotta draw the line somewhere. I thought maybe I could stay here while they're gone."

"You know you don't have to ask," Steve assured him.

"I know it's just," Danny sat up and shifted around so he could kneel on the couch near to Steve. "I was thinking maybe we could see how it goes, me being here all of the time. Maybe start looking at more long term living arrangements."

"Sounds like a plan," Steve nodded with a grin that belayed his calm demeanour. Danny knew he was more excited about the prospect of him moving in permanently than he was letting on.

"Thanks," Danny said, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to Steve's mouth. "For everything. I don't thank you enough sometimes."

"You don't have too," Steve assured him.

"Yeah I do," Danny said with a small nod. "What you did for me, not just coming to get me but everything afterwards, getting me out, getting Al and Laura's help, being patient while I try to figure stuff out in my head. It can all be a little overwhelming at times, thinking about what you've done, just for me."

"Not just for you," Steve retorted gently, sitting up, taking his hand. "For me, for Grace, for everyone. I know this is a terrible thing to admit but, I don't know if I'd have tried so hard for so long if it had been anyone else, I think I may have given up a long time before we got the lead on the doc. I just couldn't give up on you."

"And I still wonder why sometimes," Danny admitted with a shake of his head.

"I love you," Steve reminded him. "You know that. And that's why I didn't give up on you."

Danny frowned and looked down, it was always difficult trying to fight the feeling that he didn't resist hard enough. That he was so easily manipulated into Victor's grip over him.

"I should have tried harder not to give in," Danny said shaking his head, feeling Steve shift and put an arm around him. "I didn't fight hard enough. It shouldn't be like this now, all the suffering I put Grace through, everyone."

"Don't Danny, you know it doesn't do you any good to think like that," Steve said, pulling him close. "What you've come through, fuck, not many people could get to where you are now without some determined spirit in them. We got you back and that's what counts. You won Danny, you beat him."

"I know, I know," Danny sighed, shifting to lean against him, held in Steve's arms. "Doesn't mean I don't feel bad about what happened sometimes."

"I know," Steve said, giving him a squeeze. "You're doing great Danno, everyone sees it."

Danny relaxed in his hold and lay quietly for a time before giving a soft laugh,"Fuck I know how to put a downer on a buzz don't I?"

"Helped pass thirty minutes," Steve teased, giving his ass a pinch and giving him a gentle push. "Why don't we go to bed?"

"Still early," Danny teased, lifting up and giving a small stretch as Steve stood up, holding out a hand to pull him to his feet.

"Round two remember?" Steve said with a promising look. "Why don't you head up while I check the locks."

Danny smiled, receiving another pinch on the ass as he sidled past him and up the stairs, heart already beating a little faster in anticipation. He didn't know what the future held for him, but he knew it was a brighter one than Victor had presented him with not long ago. He'd always be haunted by what had happened, he'd never shake the experience, never forget what had gone on in those months. Daniel would always linger somewhere inside him, like a shadow banished to a corner of his life. But Steve, Grace, Rachel and Stan, Chin and Kono, even Al and Laura, they'd brought him back, literally from a brink. As he listened to the creak of the stairs, Steve taking them two at a time in his stride, Danny stripped off his t-shirt with a hum of satisfaction.

Now when he waited for someone to come home or to come to the bedroom, it was because he was choosing to be there.

"My choice," he said under his breath before Steve appeared in the doorway, eyes roving over his body with an appreciative stare.

'Definitely my choice,' Danny thought to himself with a smile.

~ fin ~