Well, you can't say I beat around the bush, can you? :|

Review replies;

Princess Kitty Cat: Glad you think so! Here's some more for you. :) Thanks for reading!

SOLmaster: Yeah, Squidward's kind of the ocean's plaything, isn't he? :D Thanks for reviewing!

aslan333: Thanks for the review!

Pyrze4132: Word switching fun is certainly. :P We'll see what Squidward's up to soon (but not in this chapter.) :) Thanks very much!

Third Kind: Squidward was arrested because he is Squidward. :| Thanks!

Coralline Slayer: I'm not sure this is the best one, but thanks for the compliment! :D

Chapter Two: The Bottle

Spongebob, Patrick and Sandy were walking across Jellyfish Fields, heading in the direction of Sandy's Treedome. They had explored almost the whole field and found not a single creature. Everything, it seemed, had left Bikini Bottom.

"I just don't get it," mused Sandy, "What'd make every animal in Bikini Bottom just up and leave?"

"Maybe there's a convention," shrugged Spongebob.

"Why would jellyfish being having a convention?" demanded Sandy.

"Why wouldn't they have a convention?" shrugged Patrick.

Sandy sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Something's up, it has to be," she declared, "The critters gotta know something we don't, but what?"

"They know things have changed."

The group froze as they heard the voice behind them. Spongebob turned around.

It was a mermaid. She wore a rather conservative dress with short black hair, and her skin was light beige. Her face was near expressionless, the only visible emotion seeming to be mild scrutiny, as if she was judging their every move.

"…and you are?" Sandy asked at last.

"Benthesicyme. You," she said, somewhat condensingly, "Can call me Thesi."

"Hi, Benthes…Benthez…Thesi, I'm Spongebob!" greeted Spongebob.

"I am aware," nodded Thesi, "And your companions are Patrick Star and Sandy Cheeks."

"How do you know my name?" demanded Sandy.

"Please," interrupted Patrick, "Obviously its mermaid magic. What else could it be?"

"Pie," deadpanned Sandy, sarcastically.

"That is an option," nodded Patrick.

Sandy facepalmed.

"No, this is not mermaid magic," replied Thesi, sounding unimpressed, "I cannot explain. All you need to know is that the creatures of the deep have not merely fled Bikini Bottom – they have fled the whole kingdom."

"Kingdom?" quizzed Spongebob, "As in, King Neptune's kingdom? Did he do something wrong?"

"King Neptune is unable to respond," said Thesi, "I do not care to inform you as to why. All you need to know is that a great evil is about to strike Bikini Bottom – Princess Mindy has ordered me to make sure you escape unharmed."

"Unharmed?" quizzed Spongebob, "What's happening? Is it Plank…"

"I have no time to explain," snapped Thesi, beginning to lose her patience (but never raising her voice), "If you wish to help your people, you will follow me."

She began to float north, away from the town.

"I don't trust her," said Sandy, bluntly.

"But she did say she was sent by Mindy," mused Spongebob.

Patrick grinned.

"That's all I need," he nodded, following Thesi.

"Wait, Patrick, we need to think about…Patrick!" exclaimed Sandy, following after the starfish.

Spongebob looked back towards Bikini Bottom, and then towards Thesi, Patrick and Sandy. He thought for a moment, before following his friends and the mermaid.

Little did he know that there was no turning back…

The Duke of the Pacific stood next to the Bikini Bottom sign, his arms crossed as he gazed upon the city. Next to him, a very nervous page boy quivered in his boots as he awaited his master's summons.

"Jives," inquired the Duke, "What do you see before you?"

"…a t-a town, your highness," replied Jives, quickly.

"No. You don't see a town," replied the Duke, "You see the future site of my Grand Fortress. You see the mines where my slaves shall work. You see where I shall place monuments to honour the greatest king of them all."

He paused, giving Jives time to take the imaginary sight in.

"But first," he sneered, "We must get rid of this waste of a town. Isn't that right, Jives?"

Jives nodded fearfully.

The Duke picked up the trident and held it up. It began to glow, softly at first, then brighter and brighter.

Then he slammed it into the ground.

Thesi had led the group of friends to a rise, just beyond Bikini Bottom's limits. From here, they could see the city of Bikini Bottom.

"Okay, we're outta town," said Sandy, "Now what?"

All of a sudden, there was a bright light from the other side of town.

Mr. Krabs was in his office, counting his money.

"One hundred thousand one hundred and one, one hundred thousand one hundred and…"

He stopped, noticing his office getting brighter.

"Was the son behind a cloud or somethin'?" he quizzed, looking out the window.

A great bright light was soaring towards him, the sound of thunder following in its wake.

"Mother o' Pearl!" he exclaimed.

Then the light washed over the Krusty Krab.

Karen was rolling back and forth in the main eating area of the Chum Bucket.

"Where is he?" she sighed, "It's been two days. Surely his latest scheme can't have taken that long to fail…"

She turned to the window as the bright light roared towards the building.

"…and here it comes," she groaned.

The light washed over the Chum Bucket.

Old Man Jenkins was driving along in his jalopy, humming to himself. Suddenly, a mob of terrified citizens ran past him, screaming.

"Is there a football game on?" he asked.

"Run, old man!" a fish yelled as he ran past, "Before the light gets here!"

"Light?"

Old Man Jenkins looked into the rear view mirror and saw the bright light thundering towards him.

"Oh," he said, matter-of-factly, "That light."

Then it washed over him.

Downtown Bikini Bottom was awash with panic as fish ran to and fro, trying to get away from the light. Mrs. Puff had gotten into her boat and was attempting to start the engine.

"C'mon, c'mon," she hissed, turning the key.

The engine roared to life.

"Yes!" exclaimed Mrs. Puff.

"Outta my way, lady!" yelled Fred, pushing Mrs. Puff out of the driver's seat.

He grinned as he floored the gas pedal.

"So long, suckers!" he yelled.

And with that, he drove right into the light.

Spongebob, Patrick and Sandy watched in horror as the light washed over the entirety of the town. Once it had finished absorbing Bikini Bottom, the light began to rise into the sky, twisting and turning like an aurora of many different colours.

"What is that?" gasped Spongebob.

"The trident of King Neptune," replied Thesi, grimly, "In the hands of evil."

She looked Spongebob in the eyes.

"Your town is being sealed in a bottle."

The Duke watched the light show above him, laughing maniacally.

"Look at it, Jives!" he bellowed, "Its better then fireworks!"

All of a sudden, the light fizzled out. The Duke held out his hand and caught a bottle that was falling from the sky. He grinned as he looked inside.

The town and all of its inhabitants were frozen within the bottle at a fraction of their original size. Everything from Jellyfish Fields to Goo Lagoon was contained within.

The Duke looked at where the town had once been. Now there was a nothing but a great plain, devoid of all life.

"Just in case anyone doubted I was serious," nodded the Duke, as if he had simply won a game of chess, "Let us go home, Jives. I'm anxious to interrogate the squid…"

Spongebob gazed upon the lifeless flatlands that had once been his home. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes, too shocked and horrified to say anything. Even Patrick was silent.

"King Neptune has been deposed," said Thesi, "His brother, the Duke of the Pacific, now rules the sea, and he will rule it with an iron fist."

"Then what do we do?" asked Sandy, her tone flat from shock and disbelief.

"The only person who can stop him is Princess Mindy," replied Thesi, "And she's in Poseidon. You'll have to go get her."

"That'll be easy," shrugged Patrick, "We can catch a bus!"

"Oh, but Patrick," said Thesi, smirking for the first time, "The journey to Poseidon is fraught with peril – it's said that only the gods can make it there."

A map appeared in her hands, and she pressed it into Spongebob's hand.

"Follow that map," she said, "It will guide you to Poseidon. It's the key to saving Bikini Bottom. The ocean is counting on you – good luck."

There was a puff of smoke, and she was gone.

"Well," nodded Sandy, still in shock, "That's a tall order…"

"Maybe we could hide," suggested Patrick.

Spongebob looked at the map. His brow furrowed with determination.

"Guys," he declared, "We're going to Poseidon."

Message in a bottle...

USELESS TRIVIA: Benthesicyme was one of Poseidon's kids (he had a lot of kids). I couldn't find much on her persona, but she was a goddess of the waves and she married the first Ethiopian king.