The Greatest Secret
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own iCarly
A/N: This story details what it would be like if Sam and Freddie were secretly together during the series. Read it, I'm sure you'll enjoy it.
Chapter 50 (Role Play: Freak Out)
Jonah entered Carly's apartment, finding Sam leaning against the counter and sipping some water. She and Freddie requested he join them on the rehearsal day, so he decided to go by. They were going to talk about what he should do during the rehearsal, but Freddie needed to get his equipment set up. Carly didn't realize Sam was already there.
"Okay, so what am I supposed to do?" Jonah asked while folding his arms across his chest. "This seems like it's going to be annoying…" Sam chuckled and shook her head in reply.
"Look at it this way. We're going to rehearse the wig bit, so I want you to laugh when we do it." Jonah raised his eyebrow and waved his hands through the air, he wasn't laughing at anything Carly did. Pretty much everyone knew that he didn't like Carly.
"That would require I laugh at something Carly does. I don't like her, I don't laugh at her jokes." Sam frowned and Jonah glanced to the side. "I just can't like someone like her, I'm sorry. I mean, how can I like someone who would be against my best friend's culture and one who would probably tear you two apart if she found out you were involved in such a thing?" Sam shrugged and Jonah tapped his chin lightly. "Now, I agreed to go ahead and try to play someone who will try to cheat on you with your best friend, but that's just because it's going to freak Carly out." Sam smiled and rolled her eyes, she wasn't going to force Jonah to do something that he didn't want to do. "Oh, and by the way…what is the fan bit idea?"
"That's the alternative to the wedgie bounce."
"Then I don't like it." Sam laughed and patted Jonah on the back. Of course he didn't like it, he wanted to do the wedgie bounce. After all, he was going to have a safety harness that would make his underwear not chafe. She motioned for him to follow and started walking toward the elevator. They made it to the studio floor and stepped out of the elevator, Carly saw Sam and welcomed her. Freddie spotted Jonah and stated that Sam brought him with her. Jonah looked at Freddie and grinned. "What's up, player!" He blinked and sighed. "I'm never saying that again." He looked over at Carly and frowned upon seeing her. "Carly." She inhaled and smiled kindly at Jonah.
"Look, iCarly rehearsals are kind of private," Carly began. Sam stopped her and gave a kind smile.
"No worries, he's just going to sit over there and look cute while we do our stuff." Jonah walked toward the car seat and waved his hand through the air.
"You won't even know I'm here!" Jonah said while sitting down. He leaned back and folded his arms over his chest while Carly suggested they rehearse the wig bit. "I'll go ahead and laugh for Sam."Sam put on Carly's wig while Carly put on Sam's wig. Sam started it off.
"Hello, I'm Carly. I live with my brother Spencer, do my homework, and I shower every day!" Jonah laughed and clapped his hands once, causing the girls to look at him and smile. He leaned back and Carly began her impression of Sam.
"I'm Sam," Carly began. "I do bad things, harass people, and eat whatever doesn't eat me first." Jonah and Freddie both raised an eyebrow. That just didn't seem right to them. Sam did often give wedgies to Gibby, but she really only bothered him or anyone that insulted her.
"Did Carly just insult her?" Jonah thought while pressing his lips together. "Nah, that wouldn't insult Sam, but its like Freddie says, Sam happens to be a good person and she doesn't eat all the time." The girls looked back at Jonah to see his reaction since he didn't laugh at Carly's portrayal of Sam. He simply glared daggers at Carly, causing her to have a weird look on her face when she turned back around.
"Okay, let's try the fan bit now…" Sam stopped and looked back at Jonah before looking over to Sam.
"Yeah, about that," Sam stated. "Jonah doesn't think it is funny." Freddie chuckled and Carly raised her eyebrow while looking over at Jonah.
"It seems…kind of lame to me," Jonah remarked while shrugging his shoulders. Carly narrowed her eyes and gave a slow sigh.
"Okay, let's talk about a new Messing with Lewbert, then," Carly suggested. Jonah laughed and slowly stood up.
"That's the guy in the lobby, right?"
"Yeah, that's right."
"You know what you should call him…you should call him Captain Wart Burger!" He made sure to make a good pirate accent, causing Sam to laugh at the statement. Freddie didn't laugh out loud, but he was actually laughing at the saying as well.
"Captain Wart Burger?"
"No, you have to say it like Jonah did," Sam remarked. Jonah smirked and looked over at Carly, preparing what he would say next.
"Oh, Carly, when you're doing the wig bit…you should try acting more like Sam," he stated. Freddie and Sam looked over at him and raised their eyebrows, this wasn't part of the script.
"That's funny, I thought I was acting like Sam," Carly replied in an offended tone of voice. Jonah clasped his hands together and shook his head, thinking up a nice insulting comeback.
"Have you ever thought of taking acting lessons?" Carly's mouth opened slightly and she narrowed her eyes. "Well it's true, Sam is a much better actor. That's just my opinion, it could be a little biased."
"That's it, I'm going to the restroom for a second. I'll be right back." Carly walked out of the door and Freddie took that opportunity to laugh.
"High five, dude," Freddie said while raising his hand. Jonah lifted his hand and slapped Freddie's.
"I'm not so sure it was necessary to do that," Sam said as she looked to the door. "I mean…"
"She'll get over it," Jonah remarked while rolling his eyes. "If it makes you feel any bet-" Carly walked back into the door and Freddie walked back to his equipment. "Hey Carly."
"Hi Jonah," Carly said while putting on a fake smile.
"Are you feeling alright?"
"Yeah, I'm just fine." She shuddered and turned around. Jonah snickered and crossed his arms, feeling very satisfied with himself.
-NEW SCENE-
"I'm sorry! I didn't know I wasn't supposed to touch that," Jonah said while rubbing the back of his neck. He was talking to Sam and Freddie while waiting for Valerie to leave the restroom. They were discussing part of the role play yesterday where he messed up Spencer's play. He didn't mean to do it, he didn't even know it was important. "I wish I could go back and fix it. If I had known not to mess with it, then I wouldn't have."
"It's okay Jonah," Freddie said while patting his friend's shoulder. He knew it was just a mistake, as did Sam, so they really couldn't be mad at him.
"Yeah, you're making a mountain out of a molehill," Sam said while rubbing the coffee table with a rag, she was trying to remove a spot that had been bothering her. They were at Freddie and Sam's place. Jonah and Freddie were on the couch while Sam was moving around the living room. Valerie stepped into the living room and sat next to Jonah, she knew what they were talking about.
"Yeah, I'm sure it will be just fine," Valerie said while kissing Jonah's cheek. "Sure, Spencer may be a bit upset, but he'll be okay in the long run, won't he?"
"Yeah, he'll be fine," Freddie stated. He looked over to see Sam still scrubbing furiously at the table. "Sam, you're going to end up polishing the entire table before you're done there."
"You know how I am, I can't stand completely messy things!" Sam protested. Freddie laughed and slowly stood up, walking over to her. He placed his hand onto the rag and slowly took it away.
"Just relax…" Freddie glanced at the spot and saw it almost completely gone, it was hardly noticeable now. "See, you got it. No one will even notice it." Sam pressed her lips together and sighed, he did have a point after all.
"Fine, but I'm going to know it's there!" Freddie laughed and pulled Sam close, kissing her forehead.
"Yeah, well try to ignore it. Besides, if you keep that up, we're going to be late for iCarly." Sam had nearly forgotten that they were supposed to do iCarly in a few minutes. "By the way, I believe this is where Jonah must 'cheat' on you."
"Yeah, but how should we go about doing that?" Valerie asked while looking over. "Should Sam take Jonah over when iCarly is going and he attempt to kiss Carly while Sam's in the room?"
"Hmm, I'm not-" Suddenly Jonah's phone went off and he checked it, seeing an unidentified number. He read the numbers and frowned while looking over at Sam. "Hey, isn't this Carly's number?" Sam looked at his phone and nodded. "I wonder what she's calling me for…" He placed the phone to his ear and sighed. "Yo, this is Jonah."
"Jonah, it's me, Carly. We need to talk, can you come over here?"
"Uh…sure…" He hung up the phone and looked at the others. "She wants to talk. Should I visit?"
"Yeah, this is where you can go ahead and freak her out," Freddie said while rubbing his chin. "If you attempt this, then she'll start complaining about it. She'll probably want to tell someone about it then Sam can overhear her talking about it."
"Right, and then I get to do the wedgie bounce! Yes! It'll be awesome!" The others laughed and Jonah stood up. "I'll go over and we'll see what happens."
"Good luck, Jonah," Valerie said while kissing him once on the lips.
"Thanks, I'll need it." The group said their goodbyes and Jonah left to enter Carly's apartment. He couldn't wait to try the wedgie bounce. He shifted his pants and made sure the harness was in place, it was. He made it to the elevator and went up to the studio. Upon entering, he saw Carly pacing the floor, she looked at him and he gave a half smile. "You wanted to talk to me, Carly-o."
"No need to add the O, just sit down," Carly said while pushing him over to a chair.
"Sure…" He sat in the chair and watched as Carly sat in hers. For some reason, Valerie came to mind. So now he was side tracked with thoughts of his girlfriend.
"Jonah, I need to talk to you about Sam." Jonah was still thinking about Valerie, so he raised his eyebrows and smiled.
"My lady…" Quickly remembering that he was with Carly, he shook cleared his throat and focused on the role play.
"Yes, well, I'm really happy that you two are so into each other, but I need her for the show. You can't just keep distracting her."
"Oh, you don't care that she's so happy? What's this all about? Your show has become more important than your friend's own happiness? Is that it?" Jonah scoffed and decided to interrupt Carly, deciding he didn't need to hear Carly say any more. "Sam hasn't complained about it."
"Yeah, because she's so into you that she can't think straight!" With that statement, Jonah had to keep his anger inside. It was difficult, since that sounded like Carly was just insulting Sam, even if she wasn't. He decided to go ahead and freak Carly out now rather than wait any longer.
"Oh, so you don't like me spending so much time with Sam?"
"No." He stopped the urge to roll his eyes, it would be bad if he did that.
"Then maybe I should spend a little more time with someone else." Carly raised her eyebrow and Jonah leaned forward. Her eyes widened and Jonah looked into her eyes. "Kiss me." Carly gasped and leaned back, suddenly feeling very weird.
"What!"
"Sam doesn't have to know." Carly quickly flicked Jonah on the forehead and stood up, he rose with her. "You just thumped me…" It didn't hurt at all, he just found it annoying. "Sam, Freddie, you two owe me…but then, this is fun!"
"How dare you try to kiss me when you're dating Sam! You…You're icky!"
"Icky? That's the best you can do? Hah! Step one of breakup, complete." Carly ran toward the door, stopped and turned around.
"I'm telling Sam!" She ran toward the door and Jonah quickly rushed over to it, closing it when she started opening it.
"You don't want to do that." Jonah looked out the window of the door and saw Sam walking down the hall, at least he wouldn't be in the room with Carly much longer. Carly stepped back and glared at him as he looked toward her. "Think about how happy I make Sam, now what kind of friend would you be if you ruined her first great relationship by ratting me out?" Not that he thought Carly was the greatest of friends, but it was all for the sake of role play. Sam got to the door and opened it.
"Hey Carly I got…" Sam looked over at Jonah and smiled. "Hey cupcake, what are you doing here?" Jonah placed his arm on her shoulder and smirked at Carly.
"Carly asked me to come over." Carly figured Jonah was right, and she shouldn't tell Sam. She sighed deeply and looked toward her friend.
"Yeah, I wanted him to help me with my imitation of you," Carly replied. "For the wig bit…" She grabbed the blonde wig and put it on her head. "I'm Sam, I like to eat pork chops in bed." That was not true at all, Sam never ate pork chops in bed. If anything, she ate chocolate covered strawberries in bed. She gave a laugh, just humoring her friend.
"That's exactly how I'd say that!" Sam said while clapping her hands once. She turned to Jonah and gave him a quick hug. "You're so helpful." Jonah looked at Carly and she glared at him once before quickly leaving the room. Jonah quickly stepped back from Sam and sighed slowly. "Well that was interesting...I'd say you did a good job of freaking her out. I'm going to go downstairs now and get her to tell me what you did. Either that, or she's telling Freddie and I should listen in."
"Yeah, and now I know how Freddie feels whenever he has to tell Carly that he likes her," Jonah said while placing his hand on his stomach and groaning. His heart was racing and bile was starting to rush up his throat. "I want to go and kiss Valerie a million times, now. That will make up for what happened…" Sam smiled and rolled her eyes while turning to the door.
"Okay, get ready for the wedgie bounce, I just have to go downstairs now." Jonah nodded and Sam quickly hurried downstairs to find Carly shouting at Freddie that Jonah just tried to kiss her. Freddie then said they should go upstairs and get started on iCarly, so Sam quickly bounded up the stairs and into the studio. "Okay Jonah, that's done." Carly and Freddie entered the studio, Sam looked over and smiled. "Hey, why don't you go over there and stand by Freddie."
"Okay." He stepped next to Freddie and crossed his arms, Freddie gave him a smile and held looked toward the girls.
"You really freaked her out," Freddie whispered. Jonah chuckled lightly and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Yeah, well I'm going to go makeout with my girlfriend after this." Freddie chuckled and stepped forward, holding his camera in his hand. iCarly started up and the girls introduced themselves. Soon, Carly suggested the wig bit, but Sam stopped her and whispered that they should do the wedgie bounce. Carly was confused since it hadn't been rehearsed or anything, but Sam ignored that and called Jonah over. "Okay!" He hurried over and grinned. "So what am I doing?"
"This is going to be awesome," Sam said while stepping over toward a small step ladder.
"Yes, yes it is," Carly stated. Sam brought the ladder behind Jonah and started to climb up it.
"First, I step up here and grab this red rope with the large hook on the end of it."
"So cool," Jonah said in a quick and excited voice. That wasn't actually role play, since he was just extremely excited to get a chance to do this. It was like a ride at the amusement parks.
"Yes it is," Carly remarked while grinning deviously. "And now Sam hooks the rope onto the back of Jonah's underwear! Just go with it, Jonah." Jonah shrugged and felt Sam pull at the harness he had on, it looked like underwear. She put the hook into it and stepped to the side. Sam whispered for Jonah to act like he was in pain, so he did just that. "Freddie, is the button on Sam's remote ready to activate her special surprise?"
"Yep, it's the bottom button," Freddie replied. Sam and Carly then stepped over to Freddie and pressed the button, activating the wedgie bounce. Jonah screamed out as he went up in the air, it was definitely a thrill for him. "Jonah, you get to ride for two hours, hope you enjoy it!" Oh he would, but then he'd probably get tired of riding after some time. He thought on it for a moment and figured, no, he would not tire of it. His role play was finished, or it would be in two hours when Sam and Freddie return to get him down.
I hope you liked that chapter! Silly Jonah, having too much fun on the wedgie bounce, haha. Let me know what you thought!