So like an idiot, I posted the wrong chapter last time, that's why the transition between the 5 & 6 sucked, since Tori wakes up alone when they were together in 5. Sorry guys.
Fear not though, most of the stuff that was in there ended up here and since I had to rewrite it, it's a lot better.
Also, yay me. Kept it under 5,000 words for once.
I feel lost.
I roll my shoulder so that the backpack on my shoulder doesn't slide off, I feel like a ghost amongst the chattering crowds. I'm wandering aimlessly around the Hollywood Arts campus, coffee in hand, wondering where my friends are. Cat and I had been working on our assignment, but after less then half an hour's work, she got distracted by something and went bounding off towards the basketball courts. I would have gone after her, but it's too early in the week for chasing Cat around. I stride towards the Asphalt Café, telling myself it's because most of my friends are likely to be there. Really, I'm only hoping for one specific person to be there though. As our usual table comes into my line of vision, disappointment wells up within me, no Tori, just Beck and Jade. Pursing my lips in thought, I wonder where Tori could be.
Milling through the crowds, looking for Tori, my shoulders slumps and I grow less and less hopeful of finding her by the minute. It feels as though I've been searching forever when I catch something familiar in the corner of my eye. Lips curling upwards, my feet no longer feel like lead as I move towards her. As the distance between us closes, I can see that Tori's head is bowed, hair blanketing her face. From the gentle rise and fall of her chest, I know she's asleep.
"Hey sleepy head." I state eventually, greeting Tori with a levity that I didn't know my voice was capable of. Before walking over to her, I had tossed the thought of just leaving her to sleep over in my mind. That was before I scanned the surrounding area and saw Sinjin skulking around in the shadows though; somehow leaving a sleeping girl around him didn't seem like the best of ideas. Tori's eyes flutter open and to my surprise, she doesn't tense up at my presence, Instead, Tori simply gazes at me, an easy smile coming to her lips. Her hair tumbles over her shoulder, catching the sun and shining brightly as I feel the breath catch in my throat.
"What gave it away?" Tori replies, blinking the remnants of sleep from her eyes. Shaking my head slightly, I kneel down beside her ungracefully, trying not to spill my drink. As I push myself against the same tree Tori is leaning against, I know she's stifling laughter at my movements. Ordinarily I'd jump to the defensive, Rex on my arm, ready with his harsh words. He's not here though; I don't need him around Tori. I don't know if I need him at all anymore.
"You being asleep under a tree" I reply, my own lips curling upwards as the smile on Tori's face widens. She giggles lightly at my words, looking completely at ease with the world, looking as though this is all she needs. There are bags beneath both of our eyes, we're tired and slightly broken, but we're happy. Not only that, but for once that we is a we that includes me as well.
"I was…just resting my eyes." Tori retorts, unsuccessfully attempting to push the laughter out of her words. Peering at her, I notice she's close, so close. My cheeks burn under the glow of her smile, though I know it's a burn I'd willingly suffer over and over again.
"You were coming down off a major caffeine high. I've seen it before, I've felt it before." I reply, shaking the cup of coffee in my hand to emphasize my point. Tori's melodious laughter fills the air around us once more, as amusement dances in her eyes. For somebody coming off a sleepless night, she's more bouncy, more full of life then I could ever hope to be. I guess that nap did wonders for her.
"Damn you Shapiro, giving me that coffee." She laments, a false mask of annoyance coming across her features. Usually Tori's a pretty good actor, though this act of hers isn't fooling either of us. I'm about to call her on it when I feel her fist graze my arm lightly, the smile back on her laugh as she laughs her way through my silence.
"Without the coffee, you wouldn't have made it through first period." I state, holding the cup aloft, as though it's something to be treasured. I feel sort of ridiculous putting something as trivial as coffee on a pedestal, but we're having fun. As goofy as I may look, Tori's laughter is worth a few strange glances from people as they walk past.
"I wou-This is true." Tori begins to construct a lie, though she's quick to give up when I shake the cup of coffee in her direction, laughing merrily all the while. All of my fears are melting away as we just enjoy each other's company like this. It almost feels as though we're meant to be this way, that it's natural. Impulsively, I extend an arm, taking hold of Tori's slender hand. Without hesitation, I feel her fingers lace through my own, linking us together once more.
"So I was thinking, we should ditch class…" I mention casually, trying to sound as though it's not the first time I've ever seriously considered the idea. I attempt to stifle my emotions, to remain impassive, though it's almost impossible once Tori's eyes shoot wide open like saucers in response. I drum my fingers against the ground, nervousness taking hold of me. Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut.
"You! Robbie Shapiro were thinking that?" The tone in Tori's words almost sounds incredulous. It's as though the idea of me breaking a rule is a completely alien concept to her. I rock my head back, averting my eyes from Tori as I contemplate whether or not Tori's view of me in a bad thing. That and the fact that I'm trying to hide the laughter that is tickling my throat at the look on her face. It almost looked as though her eyes were going to pop out of her head.
"Yes. I, Robbie Shapiro think we should ditch the rest of today. You're falling asleep in the grass and…" My words begin confidently; though that confidence seems to drain away the longer I look into Tori's deep brown eyes. I hesitate for a moment, wondering if I should continue. But as my gaze falls to where our hands are still interconnected, the urge to smile is overwhelming and I know I have to.
"And you thought this why?" Tori asks, concern creasing her brow as she leans slightly closer to me. Evidently I had been lost in my thoughts for longer then I had though. Swallowing the remainder of my fears, I take a deep breath and open my mouth once more.
"I'd rather spend my day with you, then stay here." I state quietly, lips wavering as a frown comes across them. Suddenly doubt overcomes me, I knew that was a mistake. I attempt to reel my arm back in, pulling away from Tori before she can push it away. Confusion colors my eyes as I feel Tori's grip tighten before I can escape.
"Aww!" She coos, a look of glee on her face, rather than the look of disgust I had pictured in my mind. Before I know it, Tori leaps at me, throwing her arms around my neck, squeezing me tightly. I don't even bother to hide just how happy I am with this simple act, the smell of her vanilla shampoo slowly washing away my doubts.
"Is that a yes?" I ask cautiously, still on guard, still ready for the let down. Tori pulls away slightly, though her arms are draped over my shoulders, dangling behind me. There's a look of concern on her face, her eyes awash with wonder. I don't think it's truly dawned on her just how many times I've been tossed aside, just how it's become second nature for me to expect it.
"Sure is. Nobody's at my house lets go there." Tori states, determination in her voice. Unclasping her hands from around me, she pushes herself to her feet as I can only peer up at her, nerves still telling me to be wary, to proceed with caution. Tori tucks her hair behind one ear and smiles nervously, calming my own nerves somewhat. It's an invitation, an insight into the vulnerabilities bubbling beneath the surface of Tori's confidence. It's one that I graciously accept. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel my heartbeat quickening as I rise to my feet. Losing sight of her as I pick up my backpack, when I turn to face her again, the nervousness is still in her eyes. This time the ghost of a smile accompanies it though, as if she had really doubted I would get up and follow her.
"We can do that." I nod, my words finally vanquishing the nervousness in her eyes. I reach out, swallowing her hand in my own, sometimes it feels so natural between us, so right. Then my stupid brain steps in, as if to tell me I'm stupid for even talking to this girl. In moments like these though, I'm able to ignore my head though, Tori's smile, her laugh drowning them out.
As we creep towards my car, on the look out for any staff members, I can't help but notice just how close to me Tori is. I peer down at the space between us, her arms whipping back and forth casually as she walks. It almost feels like an invitation to take her hand, to claim her as my own anybody that might see us. Before I know it, we're both sitting in my car and the chance it lost. Before I know it, Tori arm reaches across the console between us, her hand settling on my thigh lazily as I reverse out of the car park. It takes what feels like an eternity for me to relax, to recognize it's just a simple touch; it's not the end of the world.
Once my nerves are at bay, we settle into a light conversation, Tori singing along to the radio every so often. The tension in me seems to recede, though I know it's only lurking in the depths of my mind, waiting to take hold once again. By the time we're driving past the shops near her house, I feel less like the boy I am and more like a tightly coiled spring, the realization of where I'm going sinking in. I'm going to Tori Vega's house, alone. No parents, no sister, just the two of us. Tori is too lost in a song on the radio and I can't bring myself to pull her away from it, she looks so happy, so radiant.
I simply sink into my seat and grip the wheel, knuckles bleaching white as I do so. After deciding that parking in front of her house could get us caught, we park my car at a house that's still on the market. My car shudders to a half and before I know it Tori's door has opened and slammed shut. I can see her through the window, bouncing on her heels, waiting for me to follow her lead.
"Lets go." She states impatiently, eyes following me as I gather my belongings from the car and waving her arms around madly. I react to her words immediately, hastening my pace and trying not to laugh at the flailing of her limbs. Part of me wonders if it's nerves because we're cutting class, another part wonders if it's because of something else.
I'm in Tori Vega's room.
"So…what are we going to do?" I state, climbing onto Tori's bed and sitting against the headboard, bouncing slightly to distract myself from where I am. Tori answers my question with a soft laugh, kneeling at the end the bed, biting down on her lower lips as her eyes dart around the room. Then she's crawling towards me, moving with a fluidity that doesn't seem possible, her limbs moving in perfect unity. Tori's usually warm eyes are clouded, darkened by something I've never seen in her before. I'm lost in her gaze, completely paralyzed as her hands come to rest on my hips.
"Oh, I don't know..." Tori punctuates her words by with light kisses across my collarbone, I feel as though my heart is going to deafen me, I barely hear her response above it. As Tori rears back, ready to deliver another kiss, I slide beneath her, meeting her lips with my own. My movement is frantic and rushed, clunky at best as I drag her on top of me. Tori's quick to respond though, her tongue brushing against my lips, asking to deepen the kiss. I'm so lost in our act that I almost forget to breath.
Eventually the need for oxygen overcomes me, I curse my body for having lungs, or at least for not having lungs as strong as Tori's and break our kiss. Tori's eyelids flick open at the loss of contact and concern crosses her face, eyebrows cutting into her nose. Feeling as though my lungs have drawn enough air in, I cup Tori's cheek and press my lips to hers. It's softer than the last kiss, gentle re-assurance taking precedent over teenage hormones; well at least to begin with.
Before I know it, I'm lost in her embrace again; I hadn't even planned for this to be anything more than a gentle peck on the lips. But now Tori's hand is raking through my hair, like it's her anchor so that she doesn't lose herself as well. I'm already so far gone though, I'm only dimly aware that my arms around Tori's waist, resting in the small of her back.
"Who have you been practicing with?" Tori asks, having broken our embrace. Finally coming back to reality, it's almost better than the nirvana I had just been lost in. Tori's panting just as I am, though between the expanse of her tousled hair and the glow on her cheeks, it's something that enhances her beauty. Rather than something that leaves her looking like a creep with a breathing problem, as it does to me.
"Oh you know, all manner of girls. I've got all kinds of game." I reply sardonically with a roll of my eyes as Tori props herself up, her elbows either side of me as her body continues to rest on top of me. Giggling lightly at my comment, Tori's hand soon begins to wander, skating over my collarbone and forcing me to suppress the whine that threatens to escape my lips.
"Really?" She comments flatly, having suppressed her laughter, Tori's watching me through her smoldering brown eyes and I'm so close to getting lost once again. As I peer at Tori through fogged glasses, mulling over my answer, I can scarcely believe this is the same girl that I've seen almost every day for the past two years. She's obviously the same goofy, lovable, talented girl, but it's her eyes, there's a fire inside of them like nothing I've ever seen before. With a startle, I realize that blaze is all for me, it's something not just anybody gets to see.
"Mr. Shapiro, your lady killer days are over. You're a one Vega man now." I feel my heart thudding in my ears at the implications of Tori's words, sounding like a jet engine and completely redefining my definition of deafening. Clearing my throat, I try to regain my composure, try to steady myself so that what comes out of my lips doesn't quake and fall apart completely.
"I can honestly say, you're the only lady for me." I finish my sentence with a flourish, plastering the cheesiest grin I can muster to my lips. Somehow, I made it through the whole thing without my voices cracking. As Tori smiles in response and leans towards me, I wonder if there's any possible way that this moment could be anything less than perfect.
There's one possible way.
"I need to pee!" I shriek, evidently the slight movement of Tori on top of me was enough to disturb my bladder. At my words, Tori leaps off me and crashes to the floor below. With regret, I realize that yelling at a girl whose eyes shut was probably not the best move on my part.
"Really. Now?" Tori asks, having dragged herself from the floor. She's peering over the side of the bed and the look on her face is one that's not too amused. I smile apologetically and lean over to where she is, assisting her in getting back onto the bed.
"Is there a bathroom downstairs?" I ask, feeling my bladder tightening. Tori spins around and I notice one of her hands skate down to her hip, massaging it. Absently, my mind wonders if I should be offering to do that for her.
"There's one just down the hall?" Tori replies, confusion evident in her voice. I'd seen that bathroom, it's within earshot, and it's way too close. Shaking my head slightly, I know that won't do at all.
"Uh…Is there one downstairs though?" I ask, desperation coloring my words. Tori's lips purse together and there's the hint of a question behind her eyes, her lips part, a question lingering on their tip.
"Yeah, third door on the left." Eventually the simple answer comes from Tori, though an unspoken question still lingers within her eyes. Steadying myself with one hand and using the other to push off, I leap to my feet; time is of the essence after all. Twisting my body, returning my gaze to her, she's watching me still. The irritation has drained from her eyes, amusement flirting with wonder in its place; I feel my breath catch in my lungs.
"One more thing though…" The words fumble from me, as though they know what I want to ask, as though they know it's a bad idea to reveal this much to Tori. She already thinks I'm fragile enough as it is, this is just another thing to add to a tower which is already dangerously close to toppling over.
"Yeah?" She asks, eyes twinkling as she bounces in place slightly, an air of anticipation surrounding her. Heaving a sigh, I ready myself for things to change, probably for the worst.
"Can you wear your headphones while I'm gone?" I request, feeling like an idiot. As Tori's face contorts into one of absolute confusion, I kick at the air in frustration, cursing the poor genes of my family. Figures that the one thing my dad left me would be a shy bladder.
"You are really lucky mister." Tori scolds, a playful smile replacing the confusion on her face in an instant. As she reaches over to her bedside table and scoops out a pair of headphones, I wonder what exactly I did to deserve a girl thing understanding. My brow furrows though, I know I'm lucky in that she's giving me the time of day, Tori's not the type of girl to view that as being important though. The question of why exactly she thinks I'm lucky pulls at my mind as I begin to exit Tori's room.
"How so?" I blurt, turning back to her, eyebrows drawing even closer together as my brain attempts to decode what Tori had meant. She's still watching me, looking utterly pleased with my state of confusion as she sits cross-legged on her bed, headphones already in her ears.
"My mind is still fixated on your lips, so I'm willing to with…this." She replies, pressing pause on here PearPod and emphasizing her last word by drawing an outline around where I stand. Nodding my head, a short laugh escapes my lips as I turn and hurry down the hallway towards the stairs.
Down to business.
Shutting the bathroom door behind me, I can't wait to get upstairs again.
"What are you doing here?" A familiar voice cuts through my good mood like a sharp knife. Turning on my heel, I see Trina Vega staring at me, eyes narrowed as she glares at me. Shifting my weight to one hip, I regard her impassively, like we're two warriors sizing each other up, preparing for battle. I've gone over this moment in my mind a thousand times since Saturday, wondering just how I would handle it.
"I'm hanging out with your sister." I state, confidently, Trina stomps towards me, determination blazing within her eyes. Her lips curl upward, though I'm sure I can see her teeth grit beneath them. There's irritation just barely contained behind the fake smile plastered onto her face.
"Why don't you get out of my house and hang somewhere else. Now." The smile on Trina's lips dies and her words drip with venom. I think she expects me to scurry towards the door, to run like a scared rabbit from a hungry wolf. Right now though, that's not going to happen. I'm not the Robbie that had no reason to fight back anymore, for once in my life, there's something worth holding on to. My lip twitches and I snort derisively at her attempt at intimidation.
"I'm fine here." My tone is even, betraying neither malice nor intimation. Trina straightens and my words, gaze scanning my face, looking for some sign of weakness before she responds.
"Get out." Trina explodes; her voice is laced with frustration that I'm not bending to her will, anger clouding her eyes. I almost feel like I should flinch, instead I feel rage rumbling within me, causing my arms to quake, her fists to clench. My blood itself feels as though it's coming alive with anger.
"Why don't you?" I spit. It halts Trina instantly, her sculpted eyebrows shooting into the air. She falters, her mouth opening and closes and she blinks rapidly. It almost looks like her brain has completely short-circuited trying to process the situation she's in. Eyeing her, my lips twitch, a humorless smile crossing my features.
"Excuse me?" She demands, shock losing out to outrage as the words tumble out of her mouth. Her jaw is set, a muscle twitching within. I peer at the ground before whipping my gaze back to Trina, hoping to clear loose some of the more hateful things swimming through my mind.
"Did I fucking stutter?" I reply, not bothering to suppress the glare I'm directing at her. If my previous words had been covert agents, designed to subvert her perception of me, then this is an all out tactical nuclear strike.
"W-what did you just say?" Trina's eyes are wide open and for once she looks shaken, unsure of herself. I know she's right where I need her to be, she's not treating me like a pathetic worm anymore, she knows I'm more dangerous then that. Then my throat tenses up and I wonder if this is a good idea. Trina's eyes narrow in suspicion as notices a slight change in my demeanor. Pulling together all of my remaining nerve, I steel myself.
"I know what you did on Friday, Trina." I state quietly, regaining control of myself. There's no sense in yelling, the words alone are enough to cause Trina to seize in place once more. Her eyebrows twitch, before knitting together, concern mounting in her expression.
"I don't know what twisted fantasy you've made up in your head, but I was at home all night on Friday." Her words trail each other with planned precision, the perfectly honest sounding dishonest voice. My tongue flickers over my lips and I bite down, suppressing the urge to scream at her, to demand why she would do something like that to Tori.
"Why did Tori show up on my doorstep then?" I state, forcing myself into a state of calmness once more. Trina regards me with a casual gaze, raising an eyebrow slightly, appearing to mistake my tone for fear. Trina whips her head to the side, showing the most flippant disregard for what I'm talking about. I feel my nostrils flare, taking short breaths to calm myself again. I wonder how somebody can attack their sister and not give a damn in the slightest.
"I don't know. How did you manage..." I feel my teeth grinding together, my frustration beginning to get the better of me as I slice through her reply with another question of my own.
"Why was Tori crying when she arrived then?" I demand, cracks beginning to appear in my façade. Finally, Trina shows some form of emotion, her brow creasing at my words. Her lips falter, the impassive expression on her face giving way to a frown.
"I..." She doesn't get another word out, my anger hasn't abated in the slightest. In fact, from the feeling of my fingernails digging into my palm, I can tell it's only building.
"Why was she shaking and muttering your name in her sleep before she woke up screaming?" I snarl, the cracks in my façade giving way to gaping fissures. Trina shakes her head eyes dropping to the floor as though she can no longer meet my gaze…
"How-" Screwing her arms together, hugging herself, as though it's going to absolve her of her sins, she begins to mutter something. I don't care to know what it is though, what possible reasons could she have, what possible justification could she have?
"Does it matter?" I phrase it as a question, though it's more of a condemnation. Shaking my head in disgust, I can barely bare to even look at her, the mere sight of a girl I once thought I was in love with is making me sick.
"I..." My eyebrows rise as the sound of Trina's uncertain voice fills the air. I wait for her to speak, to say something more. The words never come though, her eyes dart around the room, refusing to meet my own.
"No Trina, it doesn't." I finish her thought for her, the contempt on my lips giving way to impatience. Why should I be down her with Trina, when I could be upstairs with Tori? Fixing her with a cold gaze, I know it's time to lay this conversation to rest.
"Don't let it happen again." I state coldly, turning on my heel and striding towards Tori's room. Behind me, a choke of indignation comes from Trina's throat, as though she's offended that I would just dismiss her in that manner. It figures that her courage would return once my back is turned.
"Are you threatening me, you little brat?" She snarls, the bravado returning to her voice. Cutting my next stride short, coming to a stand still. Screwing my eyes shut, I debate my next move, wondering what exactly I can say to just make her leave Tori alone. I'm past anger now, there's just a blackness occupying the spot Trina used to have in my heart. Bile courses through me at the mention of her name, the sound of her voice, the thought of her very existence.
"Of course not. Accidents can happen though." The words slither from my lips, as I gaze over my shoulder, fixing Trina with an icy glare. Her eyes widen and her lips part as though she's going to say something. The words die on her lips as she turns on her heel, briskly making her way out of the door she had only just entered through.
Turning back to the stairs in front of me, before bounding up them, all of the air I had been storing within me comes rushing out. That was the tensest conversation I've ever had. I can still feel the blood pumping through my veins as I push the door to Tori's room open.
She's lying on her bed, headphones still on and bopping her head to the beat. My breath catches in my throat as I falter in the doorway. As I feel my heart begin to pound once more, Tori's eyes flicker towards me and before I know what's happening, she pulls me towards the bed by my wrist. Rolling to my side, I take in the sight of her; she's perfect, just perfect. I feel painfully aware of myself, my thick glasses, my mop of untamed hair, nothing seems good enough. Eyeing the girl next to me, I know nothing I ever do will be good enough.
"What's wrong?" She asks, her arm grazing over me, sending a shiver up my spine. Tori's eyes are fixed on me, her face creased in a mixture of concern and apprehension, as though she doesn't know if she should move closer or further away.
"Uh…" Words fail me; I don't even know where to begin. Screwing my eyes shut, I'm unaware of Tori's movements until I feel the softness of Tori's palms on either side of my face. As Tori presses her lips to mine, my heart thuds against my chest, as though it's trying to break my ribs.
"Bad news…" She states, having pulled away from me slightly, though I can still feel the warmth of her breath against my lips. Swallowing oxygen into my lungs, inhaling her scent and relishing the taste of her on my lips, I brace myself for the letdown.
"Jade's coming over in half an hour." I've braced myself for a truck to hit me; this blow is less an Eighteen-wheeler and more a Tonka toy. Despite my disappointment, one of my hands floats to her cheek, caressing her lightly. A grin twitches at the edge of my lips, Jade's timing could be better, but this isn't the worst thing in the world.
Right?
So, angry Tori defender Robbie...thoughts?
Personally, the interaction between Robbie and Tori in her room was probably my favorite thing that I've written in a while, it's also how I'd write any lemon...so yeah. Take from that what you will.
Review if you liked it, review if you think this should have stayed on the cutting room floor. Just review :P