AN: Okay so my sister got the Taylor Swift CD for her Birthday, and lately that's all I've been listening to. Of course when I listen to a song I also listen to see if it's Zutara in any way. And Miss Swift has quite a few Zutarian songs indeed (HI 5 to Taylor Swift, wherever you are!).

The first time I heard this one it just screamed ZUTARA! without me having to analyze it at all. But then I listened more closely and realized that it would be close to impossible to write a Zutara songfic to it as it's in first person with a lot of modern references. Okay a songfic could be done but it wouldn't be… whole, if you get what I mean. So I sadly dismissed it and wrote All Downhill From Here.

But my muse is the biggest pain in the ass I've ever encountered and it continued to hound me with the song. SO finally I gave in and started to write it and, just as I expected, it came out crap. I was about to delete it when a thought struck me: what if I try something entirely different with this one and make the lyrics part of the fic…

So that's what started this one. As stated, it's really different from all the rest. It's got the song lyrics as part of the actual story, and it's written entirely from Katara's POV. That also means that there's not too much detail in here, sorry. Also, bold and italics is a flashback/memory. So those who don't read my author notes wont have a clue what's happening. *evil laughter*

Feedback will be adored because I really want to know how much I failed with this and if I should try it again in the future. Even flames will be appreciated. This one's for Deffie because she kept hounding me to update and because I owe her for writing me Evil Angel. You see? Compromise does work ;)

Disclaimers: Avatar belongs to Bryke

The Way I Loved You belongs to Taylor Swift

The Way I Loved You

I can't believe this. I'm all dressed in my traveling clothes, ready for the long journey on Appa to the Earth Kingdom, and I'm very aware that I will be alone with Aang for the entire two-day journey and all I can think about is you. It would be okay if it was just a fleeting thought or two; after all I haven't seen you in months and you're definitely going to be at the party. But it's not just fleeting thoughts; I'm thinking about you all the time. Heck I'm even talking to you inside my head. Maybe I've been alone here in the South Pole for too long. I knew I should have gone with Sokka and Suki to Kyoshi Island.

That's got to be the reason. Because there is no other sane explanation to why I would want to speak to you so badly I'm having a mental conversation with you. I know things ended on a bit of a sour note but… No. I'm not apologizing to you. Not in my own head. You don't deserve to be in here! It should be filled with thoughts of me, Aang and nothing but open sky. Not you.

Because you know what? He is sensible and so… incredible. And all my single friends are jealous; I've seen their wishful looks. And they have oh so much to be jealous about! He says everything I need to hear and it's like I couldn't ask for anything better.

And he's here now! Appa's just landed. Wow… He's grown quite a bit since I last saw him. It's funny how nervous he still is of my dad, even though he's made it clear how much he likes Aang. I kind of like it, though; it shows that he's still little Aang, not just the big, strong Avatar the world sees him as.

He opens up my door and I climb onto Appa, happy to be there again. And he says, "You look beautiful tonight." Even though I'm wearing my oldest parka and boots, I can see in his eyes that he actually means it. And I feel perfectly fine.

But… But I miss… I miss the screaming and the fighting and the…

No. No! Aang. The boy sitting at Appa's head right in front of me. He's the one I missed. And now he's here. And we're flying together and, spirits, did I miss this feeling. He's grinning now that he sees my grin and I can't help but laugh. He makes all stress seem to melt away.

And you know what else? He respects my space and never makes me wait. And he writes exactly when he says he will! He's close to my mother in a slightly freaky, spiritual Avatar way that makes him understand how much I still hurt for her. Even though you did help turn the crushing pain to an easier ache the day we flew to… But that's in the past. Aang's the one flying with me now. And on top of being close to Mom, he also talks business with my father. He's charming and endearing and I'm comfortable.

But… Oh spirits as much as I want to deny it there is a but. I have to pretend to be asleep otherwise Aang will look back and see the expression in my eyes and he'll know something is wrong. I am comfortable and so safe and happy with Aang! I am!

But I miss screaming and fighting…

"You are so impossible! I ask you one little thing, one little thing and you can't even do that! No, don't even bother defending yourself! Just… stay out of my way before I do something rash!"

"Oh! So screaming like a dying person isn't rash? You didn't even hear my side of the story! Because why should you? You are always right, and it's always the other people who make the mistakes!"

"It's called learning from past experiences! You're always picking a fight with me so I don't bother to listen to you anymore because all you do is-"

"Exactly! You never listen to me! And then you wonder why I have to yell to get my point-"

"Well I must have picked up the not-listening from you! You interrupt me all the time-"

"Oh, please, Katara now you know you're just clutching at straws!"

"You. Just. Did. It. AGAIN. Don't you dare look at me like that you…"

"For Agni's sake! Was it really necessary to throw a vase at me?"

"You're just lucky it wasn't a knife! Now get out and don't come back! I said leave!"

And kissing in the rain…

"Er… Miss Katara? I'm sorry to bother you so late…"

"Oh! No, it's fine. How can I help?"

"Well… I went to Miss Bei Fong first because this is her house but… She told me you have to decide what to do about it…"

"About what?"

"Well… Come see for yourself. See? Right in the middle of the path, in the pouring rain."

"What on earth is he doing there?"

"Nobody knows, miss… He's been standing there ever since… Well… your little fight this afternoon. He refuses to move. Even when it started raining as hard as it is now he just… The guards haven't removed him because he isn't technically doing any harm but if you want them to…"

"No. No, it's okay. I'll handle him myself."

The feel of a thicker jacket over my nightclothes. The coldness of the night air against my skin as I open the door. The tightness of my skin as I frown deeper and stalk towards him.

"What the hell, Zuko. Have you lost your mind? It's pouring with rain and freezing out here! What are you doing?"

"I was… scared you meant what you said. About not coming back. Toph would probably side with me and let me in but… I couldn't be sure and…" The sound of his sigh. "I couldn't take the risk. I'm… sorry… Katara. I isn't mean to yell or interrupt you or…"

"You're really going to do this outside in the pouring rain?"

The sight of his scowl. "Are you going to let me apologize or not?"

"Or not. You're already forgiven."

The feeling of his arms scooping me up. The drip of the rain on my body as I stop Waterbending the falling drops away. The heat of his lips that contrasts so much with the icewater. The strength of his arms around me as we kiss, the rain making me almost as wet as him.

Oh Spirits… It's 2 AM and I'm cursing your name. Do you hear that, Zuko? I'm cursing you! You're…You're so in love that you acted… insane!

…And that's the way I loved you…

Breaking down, and coming undone; it's a roller coaster kinda rush. And I… I never knew I could feel that much. And that's the way I loved you.

We're at the part now and I know I'm going to see you soon. My stomach feels like it's full of rocks, and the pretty dress seems way too tight because I can't breathe properly. I know as soon as I lay eyes on you I'm going to remember all the horrible things we said to each other. I do regret them; I wish I could tell you that. But no matter how much I wish they hadn't happened they're going to come back to me and I'm going to get mad at you all over again and it's going to be so hard keeping the memories I'm having away from Aang…

Aang. He can't see the smile I'm faking and my heart's not breaking, because I'm not feeling anything at all. The lady next to me just announced that you've arrived. You're going to be in here soon. And with you are going to come unpleasant memories, because that's what happens when you see somebody you used to love.

You know that you were wild and crazy, just so frustrating. And… intoxicating… And complicated! You got away by some huge mistake and I… I miss… Oh Agni you're here. You haven't seen me yet. Please don't turn your head… Please… Too late, you've seen me… Here it comes..,

The feel of his lips on my neck as he kisses me an whispers how wonderful I am.

Wait… They were supposed to be bad memories…

The feel of his strong shoulder beneath my chin as we dance in the sunset. The way my cheeks hurt because I'm smiling so wide.

You've stopped stock still, and I think you have memories too. Maybe yours are the bad ones I expected to have. I wish you would stop looking at me… Now I really cant breathe. Or move. Or think of anything else.

The way he curls around me as we fall asleep under the stars. The sweetness of his quiet breath as he sleeps. The peacefulness of his face. The desire to never wake up without him ever again.

Iroh has pulled you away. On the one hand I'm glad to be free of your stare but on the other… I want to run after you and tell you… Tell you…

That I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain. And that it's now 2 PM and I'm cursing your name. And I'm so in love that I acted insane, and that's the way I loved you. Breaking down and coming undone; it's a roller coaster klinda rush. And I never in a million years thought that I could feel that much. And that's the way I loved you.

Aang's pulling me towards the table now, but I don't want to go. You're there. I can't… I don't think I can stand… But Aang's already plonked me down in a seat and he's now rushing off to get us both food. Oh Agni no… No don't sit next to me! Oh…

I stare at the table in front of me, aware of how tense you are and the glare you're giving your uncle. What was Iroh thinking? You probably hate me! I should hate you too because of the way you were but… that's the way I loved you…

Something brushes against my leg and I glance under the table to see what it is. I can feel myself stiffen and I can't help but stare at the sight under the table. I swallow loudly and glance at Aang. He's far away and engrossed in heaping mounds of food onto two plates. I swallow again and look calmly in front of me. I don't give any sign that, under the table, my hand slips into your waiting one. My fingers squeeze yours, and the answering pressure is enough to make my heart fly.

That's the way I loved you.