AN: This took so much longer than it should have. And this fic is the reason the previous one was posted so late: I finished Learning To Fall at least a week and a half ago, but I didn't want to post anything until I had finished this request, as it was kinda top priority. And then I couldn't get started with this fic and life caught up and other things happened and… Blah, blah, blah. I finally grit my teeth and got down to writing this yesterday. I will admit to you all that I was very nervous: I really had NO CLUE what to do with this fic. Hopefully it turned out semi-okay. I don't like it that much at all but maybe somebody else does? I dunno; I just gave it up as a lost cause after deleting the entire thing about six times. IN the beginning I worked with the lyrics but that really didn't work so I settled for the fic just being based on the song. Review, please, so I can know how to better it. If I can even save this thing at all…

Okay so now some important news: This is going to be the second last fic posted in MFU. There is one more I need to post here early in July and after that the songfics are going to stop indefinitely. Who knows, I might get random muse sometime and put a sporadic one up. But just in case that doesn't happen, here's the reason MFU is going to end: I have an idea for a little three-chapter mini-fic that I'm going to put into action very soon. And after my mini-fic is done it's time to start working on Zutara Week which, for those of you who don't know, is taking place from July 26- August 1.

So no more songfics, but more actual, semi-original fics are going to be coming your way. Feel excited or utterly horrified, depending on how much you think my writing sucks :P I'm gonna say a huge thanks here to everybody who read, reviewed and faved this fic. I really didn't expect it to be this popular: YOU GUYS ALL RULE!

Disclaimer: Avatar belongs to Bryke.

Animal I Have Become belongs to Three Days Grace

Animal I Have Become

His ragged breathing could be heard even over the sounds of bushes being roughly pushed away. In earlier times he would have chastised himself for making so much noise: as the Blue Spirit he had learned how to be as silent as the air itself. But right then he didn't care if the whole world knew he was coming. Let them know! He mind screamed at him. Let them know so he can feel fear before I get to him!

His breathing hiked even more, and his nails bit into his palms. They fell into the bloody grooves etched into his skin: he had balled his hands into fits so much in the past few days that he had cut through his skin. He didn't feel the pain, though. Not the pain of his bloody palms or the pain of his aching feet and bruised shins. All he felt was rage. Rage so complete and consuming that it blotted everything else out. Everything. He felt nothing else but the consuming anger and hatred and the need for revenge. The need to have the monster's blood shed and shed thick.

In the beginning the all-consuming fire had scared him. He had tried to listen to his friends; he had tried to rein it in. But as the hours slipped by and the anger just grew he began to understand that nothing would help, either way. Being calm and complacent would in no way magically turn what he was living into a mere nightmare. He would never wake up from what had happened and he would never escape it. That was when he stopped fighting the rage and instead gave into it. He let it wash away the gaping hole in his chest, let it fade away every other emotion except anger. The guilt, the pain, the frustration… it all just melted into fury. He let go of human feelings and turned into something that could handle the events that had occurred better. He turned himself into an animal.

He pushed his way more forcefully through the undergrowth, palms steaming at the ever-present rage. He knew the rest of the gaang was following him. He knew they were worried about him and he knew that they would try and stop him from getting his revenge. He supposed that he should have tried to hide the animal inside him from them; it was wrong to have let them witness his rages and moments of pure fury that had caused him to trash everything in sight. But he just didn't have enough left in him to care. So what if they saw the darkest side of him? It, like everything else, didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

An image of two blue eyes brimming with concern floated in his mind and he grit his teeth. Her expression had just made him even angrier. Yes, he could see that she understood, but why then was she trying to stop him like the rest? Surely she could understand how much the rage wanted to take over? She told him, gently and with her hands raised in a surrendering gesture, that she knew he was mad and just wanted to take revenge, but that it wasn't worth it. That rage that he was feeling wasn't the real him and if he entertained it, it would destroy him. She begged him to let it go.

He hadn't listened to her and had instead snuck away while they were sleeping that night. Without Appa he knew he had to make his way back to the Fire Nation on foot, but he didn't care about that either. He expected them to have caught up with him by now… But maybe they were staying away on purpose? Trying to give him time to get himself under control, perhaps… They didn't understand. He was past control. Zuko was no more: he was caged inside his body, and a rage-animal was controlling him. The first few nights he had tried to fight back and had played Katara's confrontation with Yon Rha over and over in his head. But it hadn't helped. She knew what it was like to have your mother murdered, yes. But she didn't know what it was like to have your mother murdered on your own father's orders. Or what it was like to arrive in time to watch her being slaughtered in front of your eyes.

No, she didn't understand. None of them did. He would never get over this. This was his own personal hell, and he'd be living in it until he died no matter what path he chose. So was it so wrong to choose the path that would allow him to feel the least pain? He didn't think so. The animal didn't think so. And he was going to listen to it. Ozai's blood would be spilled by his hands, and it would be spilled soon.

As he got closer to the place he'd once called home, he forced himself to slow down and advance with more stealth. It was the most practical way to get to Ozai's cell without the monster having time to run away. But if it did run, the animal would enjoy chasing it. There weren't many places a convicted prisoner could run, anyway.

The prison guards were taken out easily, and he couldn't help but smile smugly at the sight of their heaped bodies. They were weak, and he was strong. Strong enough to finally do what Aang did not: kill the monster. He crept along the prison halls in absolute silence. Then he was there, facing the cell with the monster huddling inside. The monster raised its head, took in his bleeding palms, ragged breathing and torn clothes and smirked.

"I see you found your mother."

The animal roared in rage and hate and fire burst forth from his palms and mouth. He didn't bother with keys: he melted the bars of the cage and then ripped the metal away with his swords. As the now-useless shards of metal hit the floor the monster lost its smug look and instead gained a look of fear. The animal was pleased.

He grabbed the monster by the shirt and yanked it forwards so hard that the handcuffs broke its wrists. The monster howled in pain and he took the opportunity to use his Dao swords to cut trough the monster's chains. Then he sent volleys of fire at the monster, and didn't stop it from trying to crawl away. It wouldn't get far. If it wanted to die on its knees… Well, all the better for him.

He rained blows down on the monster, some filled with fire and some just normal kicks and punches. The monster tried to fight back, but he was too strong for it. It was going to die today, whether it begged or not. The fear in the monster's eyes was growing as it looked into his eyes and realized that it was the animal that was in control of his body. He wondered, briefly, what the monster saw in his eyes. Maybe its impending doom. He hoped that was the case.

With a wave of fire stronger than all the rest he sent the monster crashing into the opposite wall. Its blood made a stain on the bricks as it slid to the floor, and he was pleased. This was it. The monster would die now. He raised his hand, feeling the fire throb through him and get ready to escape…

A wave of water hit him, and he was thrown to the side. He was on his feet almost instantly, and he snarled wordlessly at the Waterbender. At his hostile and inhumane response shock flickered across her pretty face. It was quickly replaced by pain and empathy that he did not want to see. He turned his face away from her and advanced on the monster again, only to be stopped by a wall of ice crystals.

He screamed in rage and frustration, and fire billowed from his palms. Angrily he swiped away the ice crystals, hardly aware that the Waterbender was trying to talk to him. Suddenly she was in front of him, and he couldn't deny her presence any longer.

"Zuko! Please stop. Please!"

He roughly pushed her aside; he was not Zuko. And the monster must die. It must scream like he heard his mother screaming.

She was in front of him again as soon as he'd taken a step forward, and this time she wrapped her arms around him. He tried to squirm and twist away, growling at the unwanted contact, but she held on tighter and refused to let go.

"No." There were tears in her voice. "I won't let you do this. If you want to hurt him you'll have to hurt me too."

He raised his hand to do just that but found he could not strike her. His fingers began to tremble and his breathing hitched as inside him the animal screamed at the beginning signs of defeat. Her arms tightened around him, and this time he only struggled feebly. The monster made a noise and his eyes snapped to him again, fury coursing through his veins.

"He deserves it." His voice was hoarse from misuse and rage.

"I know," she whispered, and he could feel her crying. "I know he does. Oh, Zuko, he does! But I won't let you tear yourself apart by killing him. I won't let you destroy yourself because of him."

It was getting harder and harder for him to breathe, and his vision was becoming blurry. He angrily grit his teeth and tried again to squirm away but was as unsuccessful as before. He saw again the images of his mother being attacked, heard again her screams and before he could stop it a sob tore from his throat.

"He deserves it!" he screamed again, and he was ashamed to find he was crying.

Katara hugged him even closer, pulling his head down against her shoulder. Her tears mixed with his.

"Shhh, I know." Her voice was choked. "I know. Shhh… It's going to be okay. I'm here. I'm here. Shh."

The rage-animal was slipping away, knowing it was defeated. As it went the emotions returned, and it was as though he was being ripped open from the inside out. But he was un-caged and in control of his body again; Katara had set him free. And so it was Zuko, not the animal, who buried his face in her shoulder and wept.