"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
"Uh, hey guys…" I finally drag the words from my throat, though they're cracked and dry, almost inaudible. Tori's lips quiver, words seemingly lingering for a moment before but she bites her lip, brown eyes meeting the floor. Tori's arms fold over her chest, fingers skating up and down her upper arm as they often do when she's nervous.
"Tori can you take us to the room." Cat's small voice stumbles through the silence, reminding Tori and I that we're not the only ones present. Tori chews on her lower lip once more before a slender arm shoots out and takes hold of Cat's wrist. Soon Cat and Tori are treading towards what I assume is the room containing Cat's brother, as I trail behind them.
My throat tightens as Cat sends a heavy looking door hurtling open and flies into the room. Without another thought, my legs are pumping as I speed towards the door, not knowing the horrors it may contain. Tori leans against the door, holding it open for me as she watches the floor intently. I catch her gaze half raise to me from the corner of my eye before it falls back to the ground and she silently follows me into the room.
Cat's already at the side of her brother, cradling his arm towards her. Stiffly, I force myself to continue to walk, to ignore the overwhelming urge within me that's screaming for me to run. Willing my legs to move, my eyes blow open as I realize just why Tori is here. Trina lays on a bed, looking more like a patchwork assortment than one whole person. I try to steady my breathing, to suppress the urge I have to hold Tori, make do everything in my power to take her pain away.
I'm here with Cat though, it wouldn't be fair.
I lower my frame into a beaten looking seat that's probably witnessed more suffering over the course of its existence than I ever will. Abruptly Cat releases her grip on her brother's hand, allowing it to fall limply to his side. Even though my eyes are focused on my lap, doing anything I can to avoid Tori, I catch the sliver red hair fly into the corner of my vision. I swallow the assumption that I've made, there's no way Cat was looking towards Tori and then towards me.
The sun sets.
"Hey Andre, can you come over here…" Cat's soft voice trembles across the room, tears fighting their way into her words. My eyes immediately shoot towards Cat, it's the first time she's spoken since we arrived a few hours ago. As the words leave her lips, she drags her arms close, balling herself up, it's the first time she's moved much other than sending a few texts on her Pear Phone.
"Uh, sure. You gunna be ok here?" Andre's voice is raw from lack of use. Nobody has been in much of a mood to speak. With his reply, my eyes follow the sound of his voice, coming to rest on the huddled party around Trina's bed. Andre's arm reaches out, coming to rest on Tori's shoulder and I feel as though my bloods going to boil for a brief moment, before a chill runs through me. The icy realization that she's not mine, that she probably never was, freezing the blood within my veins.
"Yeah." Tori nods slightly, exhaling sharply through her nose. I wonder if I'm seeing things, but I could swear she flinched slightly when she noticed I was looking, shrugged Andre's hand away as her gaze met mine. My eyes flicker away from her, darting toward Andre and distracting myself from the girl across the room.
"What is it Little Red?" He asks, leaning towards her, not wanting to miss her quiet words. As he brushes a braid from his eyes, I notice that the smile on his lips doesn't match the shroud of pain within his eyes as he looks at Cat. My eyebrows draw together as I wonder if what Cat wants with him.
"Um, I was wondering if you two could go and get some food somewhere, like somewhere else? I don't like hospital food." Cat's words drift from her mouth with a heaviness that's not something I would usually associate with her. Andre's tongue runs over his lips and he nods lightly, eyes lightening slightly. My own gaze drifts back to Cat, the memory of her happily depleting the hospitals supply of tater-tots on a previous visit whirling around within my mind.
"Yeah, that's a good idea. Tori and her Mom haven't eaten yet either." He states, eyes falling on the ladies in question. My own eyes fall on Tori, my heart clenching painfully as Tori, her brown hair drifting lifelessly slides onto her mothers shoulder as they try to hold each other together.
"C'mon, I saw a Burger Queen not too far from here." I shudder as Andre's hand claps my shoulder, drawing my eyes back to him and Cat. They're watching me, suspicion coloring their features as they realize what I had been looking at.
"Yeah. Lets go." Agree, the words spluttering forth as I struggle to focus my mind on something that doesn't involve Tori. I plaster a quivering smile to my lips as I push out of my chair and try to ignore the unspoken question lingering in the air.
"You'll be ok while we're gone?" I inquire, leaning down, coming back to Cat's eye level. She throws me off guard by nodding wildly, disappearing under a tidal wave of bright red hair. My brow wrinkles as confusion as Cat begins to bounce in her seat slightly, the quivering smile cracks and falls off my face, genuine happiness taking it's place at Cat's sudden recovery.
"I'll be fine…Hey Merton!" Cat states, her words lighting up the room if only a tiny bit as her arm shoots out and she begins to wave at somebody passing by. I turn away from Cat and catch a glimpse of the man Cat's greeting; he's carrying a mop and obviously appears to work here. My eyes fall on Cat once more; she seems so at ease all of a sudden, as though she's at home here. I whirl around once more, shaking the thoughts from my mind.
"Ok, we'll be back soon." I state gently, still afraid that Cat could shatter under the slightest amount of pressure. She waves goodbye, gaze lingering on Andre as the two of us stride towards the door. Tori's form lingers in my vision as I pass through the room, her visage imprinted in my eyes as my step through the door and into the hallway.
The lightness in the hallway is suffocating, the tension unbearable. As soon as we began to walk through the hallway, a tension settled between Andre and I. It seems as though every time I look at him, he's watching me and wanting to say something. I shake the thought from my head, I'm just stressed out, I'm just reading too much into everybody's actions tonight.
"Hey, so you and Tori, what the deal?" Andre's words finally arrive, dragging all of the pain associated with that name with them. I duck out of the way of a
A doctor and nurse babbling in scientific terms that sound alien to my ears. I steal a glance at Andre, my eyebrows drawing down, jabbing at my nose as I observe his profile. Why now? Isn't there enough pain and suffering around us without reminding me of my own?
"No deal." I reply vaguely, digging my hands into my pockets as my feet slam into the ground with more force than needed. As silence lingers between us, I find myself hoping that his question had only been a courtesy, small talk to kill time between destinations. Glaring at the ground, I really wish he had chosen another subject, one that wouldn't cause my heart to ache so much.
"That's not what Tori thinks." Andre's words hiss forth, taking a much darker tone than what I'm used to. As the elevator doors slide open with a shudder, I hold my answer within my lips, worried about what might come out if I answer straight away. My mind replays conversations with Cat, times where she would tell me that I have to open up to people. Leaning against the back of the elevator, I heave a sigh, knowing there is a reason he's bringing this up.
"What did she say to you?" I ask, the words straying from my lips before I can re-arrange them to sound less desperate. The darkened look dissipates from Andre's face and his lips curl upwards with smug satisfaction.
"She said a lot of things. That's between me and her, but you should know that you're completely wrong." Andre's words hang in the air as steps out of the elevator, leaving me in his wake. My tongue struggles uselessly, unable to wrap itself around any sort of defense, any sort of denial. Drunkenly, I stumble after him, my limbs at least co-operating with me.
"I'm wrong? I'm not the one kissing other people." I mumble, intending for the words to be venomous, though they limp out of my voice feebly. I feel my eyes begin to burn up, the bitterness of the memory enveloping me. Andre's gaze meets my own; he's taken aback by my words, though he shrugs lightly. His gentle, easy breathing a direct contract with the ragged, uneven gasps escaping my own lungs.
"Did you ever stop to think that Tori wasn't the one kissing?" Andre retorts, an exasperated sigh escaping his lips as anger slides into this voice. Tension rushes through me, it had been easier when Tori's guilt was clear, a simple reason to walk away. Clenching my jaw, I feel a muscle spasm in my cheek as I glare at the ground in front of me. Words fail me and silence falls over us as I fumble through the fog of my mind for an answer.
"No." I finally wheeze out, feeling like an idiot as I dare to lift my eyes from the ground. Andre turns to me once more, the hardness in his eyes softening as his arm reaches out and comes down on my shoulder. A simple gesture that lets me know he's not out to get me, that he's trying to help. As we continue walking along the sideway, guilt begins to eat away at me. Andre's hands are shoved into the pockets of his jacket and his lips are pursed as he stares straight ahead.
"So how are you going to fix it? Tori's been wonky all week." Andre finally breaks the silence, drawing his hands out of his pockets and looking at me with his palms upturned. He's looking at me with genuine concern etched into his features, there's none of the jealousy I would have expected from him.
"I don't know!" I cry, raking a hand through my hair, frustration bubbling up within me, as my eyes flicker shut for a moment. I can't bear to face Andre, to face the possibility that Tori and I are broken. What if we're shattered into too many pieces to repair? My fingers ball up, nails cutting into my palms my eyes begin to burn.
"Look, lets get these burgers, then I'll tell you what to do." Andre states, turning away from me, pulling the door to Burger Queen open roughly. I rattle in behind him, my chest deflating as air rushes from me. My mind wanders back to when Cat had wanted to talk about Tori, when she had thought she could fix us. I hope his plan is better than Cat's one that had involved Tori, a can of beans and three large giraffes.
Andre orders enough food for at least double the amount of people that will be eating as I linger beside him, still lost in my own thoughts. He questions me of what to get Tori's mom, I'm not sure what to say so I simply shrug my shoulders. Weighed down by several bags filled with burgers, fries and other miscellaneous items, I whirl around and crash into the door, forcing it open once again. the door open. As we exit the restaurant and begin to walk towards the hospital, anxiety bubbles up within me. We pass a darkened alleyway and it's too much, I crumble under the weight of my own questioning mind.
"So?" I blurt out, unable to take the silence any longer. Andre's eyes widen and he stumbles, only narrowly only narrowly avoids twisting his ankle in a pothole. Andre turns back to me, understanding dawning on his face. Where there had been a grim frown and steely determination on Andre's face before, excitement and hope have blossomed. He slows down as his eyes focus on me, though I notice an extra spring in his step.
"When we get back, I'm going to go into the room first. You're going to trail behind me because you're getting some plastic plates from the hospital cafeteria. While you're doing that, I'm going to re-arrange the seats so that we're between the beds with Cat, Tori and Tori's Mom. When you get back, you're going to sit next to Tori, woo-ing her however you did it in the first place. Sound good my man?" I follow Andre's word closely, making sure I take in every detail of his words. I shake my head incredulously, watching the air rumble from Andre's throat as he regains his breath. My eyebrows knit together as I wonder just how long he'd been thinking of this, just why he would be thinking of something like this. Thinking back to our long wait with Tori and Cat, I remember catching him texting from the corner of my eye.
"What if there's no room next to her? Like if Cat sits next to her?" The words fly from my mouth, desperation bleeding through my words. My mind desperately searches for a flaw in his plan, a reason to shy away from Tori. There's no reason not to though, despite Andre's planning, there's little to no reason that this would upset Tori. It's low risk, and my heart smashes against my ribs as I realize just how great the reward could be.
"I already texted her. It's all in place." Andre's words drag me from my thoughts, stunning my mind into inaction and I almost walk into a bench in my dazed state. Cat and Andre have been planning this all evening, they've been texting each other the whole time. A cocktail of emotions rush course through my body, fear, anticipation and anxiety dancing within me. My jaw hangs limply as I struggle for something to say. Andre watches me carefully, concern mixing with apprehension at my silence.
"I…" My jaw flaps uselessly as words fail me again, as much as I want to say no, as much as I want to throw his plan back into his face, there's no reason not to. There's no way out of this. Part of me wants to drag Andre towards the hospital to grease the cogs of this machine, another part of me wants to spin around and run in terror. I close my eyes, though instead of the pitch black serenity I had been expecting, Tori's face appears on my eyelids. I remember just how much pain she had been in at the hospital; I remember just how much pain she had been in on Friday. My heart lurches painfully as I remember that I was able to fix her once, maybe I can do it again.
"Lets do it." I state, the hesitation disappearing from my voice. Before I know it, my feet are flying one before the other and I'm hurtling towards the doors of the Hospital. From the corner of my eye, I see Andre pump his fist in triumph as he matches my pace. My heart warms and begins to beat faster, it's not through fear though, I'm excited, more excited than I've ever been. Andre is grinning widely, I return his smile, it's because of him that this is happening.
"That's what I'm talking about." He comments, eyes positively alight as I throw the doors of the Hospital open. Replaying the plan in my mind, I can't help but wonder if he's excited about getting to spend some time with Cat since I'll be with Tori. Lips curving upwards ever so slightly, I realize Andre may not be the flawless person I had thought him to be, but he's still the best kind of friend you could hope for, the best kind of person for Cat.
"You like Cat." I state, coming to a halt in front of the cafeteria. The words seem to swirl around Andre, his eyes blow wide open and begin to dart around the room. A look of pure terror creases his brow as his lips babble silently. I shake my head lightly, amusement tugging at my lips. Andre looks like a cartoon right now, frozen in mid stride and gaping at me.
"I, uh…go and get those plates!" Andre finally takes control of his mouth and utters a response. His words are disjointed, coming out in a jumble as he hastily tumbles towards the elevator. Shaking my head at his retreating form, I wish he had stuck around. Then I could have told him about the dreamy look Cat gets when I mention him around her.
As I wander through the cafeteria looking for plates, it occurs to me that love isn't perfect. It's a jumbled web of missed opportunities and lost chances, only ever coming together when the stars align in just the proper way. Catching a stack of clean plates from the corner of my eye, soon they're grasped within my hands as I stride towards my destiny, towards Tori.
Moments later, I'm standing in front of Room 401.
Screwing my eyes shut and inhaling as much oxygen as possible, I steel myself for what's to come. Shaking my head, I can only attempt to purge my mind of negative thoughts as I step into the room. If this is going to go well, I can't accept defeat before I've even done anything. Remembering the feeling of Tori's lips, the soft caress of Tori's touch, my lips curve upwards into a soft smile. Shouldering the door open, I stride towards the circle of chairs with confidence in my heart for once. Just as Andre had mentioned, there is a ring of chairs in the middle of the room. Clenching the plates towards my chest, I stride the vacant seat next to Tori, just as Andre had said there would be. Wordlessly, I place the plates on the small table in the center of our small settlement, wincing at the clatter rumbling from them upon contact.
"Uh, do you mind?" I ask, pointing to the seat next to Tori. The words are among the most difficult I've ever had to say, fear tightening my throat, forcing me to choke them out. She looks up at me, eyes rimmed with red and nods her head lightly. As I take my seat next to her, I can't help but steal a glance at Tori. Her lips are curved upwards, the ghost of a smile gracing her lips.
My hand twitches in my lap, my fingers wanting to reach out, to touch the girl aside me. I fight to keep me gaze away from her, to prevent myself from staring at her beauty. Even still, the warmth of just being beside her seeps through me, I don't feel the need to force conversation just yet, this is enough for now. Andre extends his arms towards us and the smell of burgers and fries fills out nostrils. From the corner of my eye, I notice Tori pulling a burger to her lips. I tear a bite out of my own meal savoring the taste of it.
Soon after, the sound of chewing fills the air, as the quiet ambience settles upon the room and it almost feels like we're not in a hospital, that I'm not sitting next to the girl that broke my heart. As I take the final bite of my meal, I notice Tori lowering her plate to the ground. For the first time since today, the shroud of misery within her eyes, seems to lift, the tension written within her face seems to abate slightly.
it almost feels like old times sometimes. There's a lingering air of uncertainty in the air though, broken sentences ruining conversations as groans of pain ring out on the background. As the last morsels of food are consumed, we
settle into quiet conversation, each of us attempting to avoid speaking about
At some point following our meal, Cat reaches into her pocket and produces her Pear Phone. It's a fluorescent red that matches her hair, my eyes are draw to the small girl as she fumbles around with the phone. She's giggling lightly and I wonder if it's a text from Andre before the gentle chords of a song begin to flood the air around us. It's a little strange I have to admit, though as Cat lowers herself onto her brothers bed and begins to sing softly to him, I feel my heart clench painfully in sympathy.
I find myself sitting next to Tori as Andre croons along with Cat. He had asked if we would like to join in, but Tori said she'd rather not, feeling as though it might upset Trina for some reason. We're simply sitting and observing Cat and Andre. As they sing along to another sad song, my heart gives a pathetic lurch, something that just barely passes for a beat. My tongue struggles in my mouth, searching for the right thing to say, something to break the silence between us.
I'm just about to speak for the first time, when a Doctor comes hurtling through the door, Tori's Mom following in his wake. The words die on my lips and my hand drifts up to my face, shoving my glasses higher onto my nose. Tori's Mom whirls around, her gaze coming to rest on Tori and I.
"Robbie, would you take Tori out into the hallway, I don't think she should hear this." The words shuffle from her lips, drifting to me with the gentle grace only a mother is capable of. Beside me, Tori stiffens noticeable, her entire posture straightening. Without thinking, my fingers skate towards her, gently taking hold of her slender hand. Tori's gaze immediately shoots towards me, her eyes blowing wide open as confusion overcomes her features.
With a gentle shrug, I smile weakly at her, my lips twitching upwards in the barest of movements. Tori's eyes relax slightly, though apprehension still resonates within them. It's mirrored within my own eyes, I have no idea what I'm doing as I push myself out of my sea, gently tugging Tori with me. She slides out of her seat with the kind of grace that comes with years of dancing, trailing behind me without a word.
"I think we're going to leave." Andre states, his brow creased as his eyebrows turn upwards as he looks between Cat's small frame and Tori's statuesque figure. Worry seems to bubble up within Andre as Tori's eyes come to rest on him, like she's going to see it as some sort of betrayal. His concern melts away as Tori nods stiffly, before whirling away from him and lowering herself onto a bench on the other side of the hallway.
"I'll stay." The words leave my lips without a beat passing between us. Tori's eyes once again stray to my face, an emotion that I can't quite identify swims between shock and confusion within her eyes. Andre's features are much easier to read, he looks relieved. Nodding his thanks, he turns to Cat, tenderly draping an arm over her shoulder and leading her away from us. Peering through a swinging door at their retreating form, only one question lingers within my mind.
What do I say to Tori?
"How are you?" With those simple words, the silence between us is shattered. I bite down on my lower lip and attempt to occupy myself by sliding my feet across the sterile floor of the hallway. Nervously, I peel my eyes away from the ground and focus on Tori. She exhales loudly, chest deflating as the air escapes her.
"I've been better." She replies, peering at the ground herself and plucking a lock of hair away from her face. I wonder if I have the right to even be here, to be a part of her pain, I'm just the boy that kind of, sort of, thought he might be in love with her up until Monday. Unfolding my arms and flattening my palms over my knees, I suck in a deep breath, hoping to gain some sort of confidence from the act.
"Uh can…Do you want a hug?" The words flow forth easier then I had any reason to believe they would, like my body knows what to do, even when my mind if clouded by doubt. I can't bring myself to drag my gaze away from the floor and witness Tori's response though. My eyes burn a hole in the ground below as my cheeks redden, heating the air around me. I'm so wrapped up in my own thoughts of self-doubt, that it's not until Tori speaks that I coming hurtling back into the real world.
"Are you sure?" She asks, the rawness in her voice betraying the difficulty of this day. Tori's tense lips quiver, her lips curling upwards, if only slightly. My eyes fall on her form once more, her gaze dips away from me, her cheek flushing. A lump forms in my throat, the kind that would have paralyzed me on another way. Forcing my arms to obey me, I shove them into the air, stretching towards Tori.
"I just want you to be happy." I reply, sincerity fighting through my quaking words. In the blink of an eye, Tori lunges at me, her arms locking behind my neck as she pulls me closer. Even with my arms extended, the speed of her act catches me off guard. It numbs my nervous system and I remain limp in her arms for a few moments before my arms link at the small of her back. She shudders under the caress of my touch, tears soaking through my shirt. I can only hold onto her as the silent front she had managed to erect in front of Andre and Cat collapses before me.
"I missed you." She murmurs with her face still buried in the crook of my neck. My heart pummels my ribs as the words sink in, the realization that I'm an idiot and a complete moron swirls around my mind. Gently skating my fingers up and down Tori's spine, I'm holding her tightly against my torso with the other, afraid of the possibilities this simply embrace opens up.
We sit in the hallway, holding each other tightly as nurses and Doctors shoot past us in a blur. I release her from my grip, sliding back slightly to make sure I'm not crowing her. Instead of gazing up at me, she continues to stare at the ground, her brown hair tumbling over her face in waves. Chewing on my bottom lip, I tentatively extend a hand toward her, tucking some of those loose spirals behind her ear. She peers up at me, fresh tears springing from her eyes and trailing down her cheeks. My fingers graze along her jawbone of their own accord, tilting her head so that she's gazing into my eyes. Before I can halt myself, I'm leaning toward her and our lips meet. It's like breathing oxygen for the first time in days, she tastes like burgers and soda and everything that's right in my life.
A split second later, my mind catches up with my body.
"I…I don't know what I was thinking. I'm so sorry." I ramble, dragging myself away from her and burying my head in my hands. My heart thuds painfully in my chest, reminding me of what a huge mistake I may have just made, the overwhelming fear I've pushed things too far consuming me.
The sensation of soft fingers lacing through the gaps between my quivering hands drags me away from the thoughts swirling through my mind. Raising my gaze away from my palms, Tori comes into view, her lips are twisted, she's smiling gently as her index finger brushes against her lips. My heart flutters painfully; she's so beautiful, even through the misery.
"I…I don't know what I was thinking. I'm so sorry." The words spew forth, a torrent of apologies that I don't truly mean. My eyes begin to burn as my head dips and I find myself watching the hands gathered loosely in my lap. They tangle through one another restlessly, before a barely restrained sob drags my eyes back to Tori
"Robbie…we need to talk." She croaks, brushing the tears away with the back of her hand, attempting to force her lips into a smile once more. I screw my eyes shut for a brief moment. When they flicker open again, Tori's smile is cracking, faltering badly as a sigh heaves through her.
"We do, don't we?" I reply, the words plummeting from my lips and shattering against the floor. My heart lurches painfully as Tori's fingers graze against my own. Eyeing her over the top of my glasses, she looks so scared, so unlike the self assured girl I attend school with. Searching for the spaces between our fingers, I link us together, reassuring her that I'm not going to shoot off into the distance.
"Where do we even start?" The words push forth, lingering around us. Tori flinches slightly, drawing back against the wall, treating it like a great protector. The silence stretches between us, my thoughts the only thing I'm left with, deafening me with their doubts, their catcalls. They're so much louder than they have any right to be, I want to plug my ears, to drown them out. It won't do any good though; they'll always haunt me.
"Wherever you want." Tori forces the words from her lips, each one catching in her throat on the way out. She's chewing on her bottom lip nervously, dragging her fingers away from me and clutching her arms tightly against her chest. There's only one question that needs to be asked. It lingers in the air between us, like a malignant specter as we both stare at our feet, skirting the obvious.
"What happened…you know, on Monday?" The words bring with them, the bile of my anger that day. Tori's hair is blanketing her face once more, tumbling over her features. It's not enough to hide the tears that fall onto her knees though; it's not enough to muffle the sob that hacks its way through her throat. I'm paralyzed, trapped in my seat, lost in a limbo that's neither comforting her, nor abandoning her. My tongue flails within my mouth and I'm about to speak once again when Tori finally speaks.
"Jade and I were talking, when…" Tori's words shuffle through her lips cracked and disjointed, my heart clenches as I realize just how hard this is for her. My arm stretches towards her, a trembling mess of flesh and nerves. Her eyes blow open, flickering between where our fingers entwine and my face. She sniffs lightly; I can feel her frame quake beneath my fingers.
"She kissed me. I didn't see it coming, she had been crying and…" Tori's admission comes with the weight of the world within her words; she wilts under the pressure, slumping silently against her chair. She's draped over the bench, leaning against the wall, the life draining from her until I stroke her thumb reassuringly. My blood feels like it's going to boil, visions of Jade tormenting me. The only thing chaining me to my seat, preventing me from confronting Jade, with an explosion of vitriol spraying from my mouth is Tori. She's just barely holding herself together; I can see that the seams are already fraying. I can't stomp away in a rage and leave her here alone.
"She took advantage of you caring, right?" I conclude for her, not allowing my gaze to fall away from her this time. I hold the hatred I feel for Jade out of my voice, papering over the cracks with soft, neutral words. The question drifts through the air, pulling my mind into a dark place, a place where Jade has ceased to exist. Only the sound of Tori's voice pulls me from the shroud of darkness that has become my thoughts.
"I don't even know what she was thinking." Tori's shoulders shudder, something that passes for a shrug I suppose. Her attempt at remaining casual, hiding the pain in her voice, is marred by the way her eyes glaze over, by the way tears trail down her cheeks once more. Her eyebrows furrow together, meeting above her nose as she tries in vain to pull herself together again. I sigh, the lingering embers of anger in chest being doused by Tori's silent tears.
Stitching her self together, Tori's eyes come to rest on me, her eyebrows resting heavily over her eyes. I lose myself in her gaze, my foot taps nervously against the ground, anything to distract my mind, to avoid drowning with her eyes. Muffled by the heavy door in front of us, a groan of pain drifts between us and Tori's eyes immediately shoot in the direction of her sister's room. Only when the sound dies out, do they come to rest upon me once more.
"I don't…I don't want to lose you." She mutters, pulling her feet onto the bench and resting her face against her knees. Tori's words seep into me, surrounding my heart and slamming against it. As much as I try to suppress it, a lump form in my throat, the wounds Jade had left in both of us still fresh. I rake my fingers through the expanse of curls that make up my hair, as if digging through my mind for something to say.
"I didn't know I was yours to lose." Regret shudders through me as soon as the words pass my lips. Tori recoils, her face flying back into the haven behind her knees. My tongue shudders against my lips as bile rises within me, burning at my insides as Tori Vega falls apart beside me. I as though I'm lost in a sea of uncertainty, marooned by my own rash actions.
"I'm sorry." I mutter, choking on the words as I forth them forth. Tori's shoulders rattles back and worth, her muffled sobs stabbing through me, the ache in my chest penance for my sharp tongue. I gather my limbs and push myself away from the bench, coming to stand aside it, looking down at Tori. Each movement seems to prick at me, catch on my skin and tear away strips as I begin to step away from the huddled girl.
"Where are you going?" Tori shrieks, her head shaking to and fro incredulously, as her arm flies out and latches onto my wrist. I freeze at the sensation of her slender finder encircling my wrist, my eyes beginning to burn. Drawing all the oxygen that I can into my lungs, the eyes drift to Tori. Her hair lacks it's usual structure, framing her head like an untamed section of jungle, tendrils of her brown locks flying over her hair wildly. Through the hair, through the ruined make up, I can see desperation in her eyes, something that pleads with me not to walk away. My heart flutters within my chest, hope rising from the ashes of my despair.
"I'm sorry. I…I hurt you. So I was going to leave…" I answer truthfully, not know whether or not I should dare to stay. As much as I want to, as much as she wants me to, I don't want to hurt her again by allowing my mouth to get the better of me. The words crumble from my lips, wavering beneath the torrent of emotions within my voice and stomach knots painfully, the cocktail of emotions leaving me nauseous.
"…Unless you don't want me to?" I add, my throat so constricted with concern that words themselves seem to strangle me. Tori peers up at me, uncertainty flashes through her eyes and infects my body, turning my limbs to stone, holding me captive to her gaze. She sits there, simple observing me for a moment, fingers still locked tightly around my wrist, hair still falling over her face.
"Tori come in here!" The voice clatters through the door in front of us, breaking the spell Tori had held over me. Her eyes slide past me, her mind wanders into the room across the hallway. I pick at a callous on my index finger; idly distracting myself as Tori wrenches herself upright. She drifts ever so slightly closer to me, my lips press together as I peer into her eyes. A storm rages within them, she's torn between her sister and myself. I make the decision for her.
Tori's eyes leave mine, her gaze drifting through the closed door. A voice shouts, drawing Tori's attention away from me. Tori's head whips toward the room, hair trailing behind. I can see the conflict in her eyes, as though she wishes she could occupy two places at once. As much as it pains me, I offer her a reassuring smile, hoping to make her decision easier.
"You should go in there." The words slice through me, it feels as though I'm gargling razorblades. Tori nods slightly, her tongue flickering over her lips as words struggle within her mouth. I blink, suppressing the urge to wrap my arms around her. She's watching my movements, taking in ever quiver of my wrist, every flicker of my lips.
"I should...Maybe you should go home and get some rest?" She finally states, her chest deflating with my words. My heart jerks within me, as I see the hope flicker and die within her. Shaking away my doubts, I encircle her waist pulling Tori towards me, relishing the warmth of her body. Her arms wrap around my spine, locking together, locking us together. Her hair blankets my shoulder and the scent of her shampoo drifts into my nostrils.
I feel like I'm going to fall apart when she pulls away from me, the last stitch that holds me together is the look of pain on Tori's face as she turns away from me, the hesitance in her movements as her wear feet carry her away from me. She gives a little wave before the door swings shut behind her, leaving me standing alone in the hallway.
I fall back into the bench we had just been sitting in, landing in a heap of limbs. My heart lurches painfully in my chest, as I hesitate. My mind shoots painfully in every direction at once, posing what feels like a million questions a second. I screw my eyes shut and fall against the wall, trying to escape the feeling that I'm intruding on a time that belongs solely to Tori's family. The haze eventually lifts as an ear piercing sob rattling through the very ground itself. Heaving my creaking limbs upward, I realize one thing…
Not every story has a happy ending.
So...are you confused, angry, happy?
Drop me a line, let me know.
It's been a pleasure.