AN: I've been told off.

AsianBanana sent me a PM that said, in a very nice and caring way that actually left me feeling pretty loved, that I should get off my lazy rear end and write something because I haven't spewed out anything in ages.

Now I feel I need to defend myself: School is the mother of all bees with itches. They said senior year was going to be bad but I never expected this… So that's my excuse. The Torturous Teachers have been on my case 24/7, killing all plot bunnies and banishing my muse with their new and terrifying weapon called Exams.

But when AsianBanana wrote I couldn't refuse her. She asked for a Mai-Zuko-Katara love triangle and instead of that my muse gave me this. I think it's still sulking for being shut away. And although this is short and all kinds of crappy you'll probably see a bit more of me pretty soon: I only need a few more reviews before I owe somebody a oneshot as a prize.

So, without further ado, here is the long-awaited return of myself and the even longer-awaited return of my Songfics. If anybody actually was waiting for them to return. This one is set to "Gotta Get Thru This" by Daniel Bedingfeild. Yeah, I know. I'm not a fan either. But I saw the lyrics on a friend's book and they fit this situation well. Hope you like. Reviews will be adored.

Excuse the mistakes- I didn't edit this before I posted. Ran out of time and patience for this piece :/

Disclaimer: Avatar still doesn't belong to me. This is written purely for my own love.

"Gotta Get Thru This" belongs to Mr B.

Gotta Get Through This

If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this
I gotta get through this

They were staring at each other. Just staring. Two pairs of similar gold eyes locked on to one another in a sort of desperate attempt to hold on to the last bit of themselves they had. Neither of them spoke or made a sound above breathing; chests heaving as the aftermath and actual weight of the moment crashed down on them. She could still taste the last words she'd said, and they were bitter on her tongue. Ugly. Hateful. Unthinkable.

But true. She couldn't be with him.

Honesty killed, sometimes.

Slowly, so very slowly she could barely see it happen, he nodded his head. And that one movement broke their eye contact. The last threads binding them were starting to be cut. She couldn't stand the pain on his face. She'd done that. Why did she always seem to hurt people like that? Why couldn't she feel, express herself, learn to let go and love and just hold every bit of him in her like he wanted, needed, deserved? Why couldn't she be more trusting, more optimistic, more ready to risk everything for him because he was worth risking for?

Why couldn't she be more like Katara?

But her internal questions had no answers. Her brain instead tried to push the guilt away. It hadn't only been her. He'd been stubborn and unwilling and just too angry and selfish and…

And, and, and.

They had torn it apart together. It had happened so suddenly and yet so gradually that neither of them had noticed the rift until it was too late. And by then the desperate attempts to heal the void were doomed to make it worse even before they began. She could see that now. She knew he could too. But it didn't make it any better. In fact, it only made it worse; they had been destined to fall apart like this. And, because of both of their natures, it had taken a month of screaming and fighting before the truth tore itself from one of them. She just wished he had said it first. They both knew it inside, but saying it made it final.

"We can't do this. There isn't anything left anymore. I'm sorry, but I'm breaking up with you."

Finally she moved, dragging her tired and suddenly heavy body toward the door. She knew some servants would pack her things and send them to her. She wondered who would get the sword Sokka had made them as a celebration of being a couple for two years. He watched her leave. She could tell by the way she felt his eyes on her that some of her truth had been wrong: there was something still between them. Memories. And pain. And echoes of what had been, what they both wanted. It would take time for them to fully cut the strings.

As she closed the door behind her, Mai wept.

I gotta get through this
I gotta make it, gotta make it, gotta make it through
Said I'm gonna get through this

Sokka's natural curiosity had started from a very young age. She could remember the millions of questions he used to ask their father while trailing after him like a polarbeardog pup. Hakoda had always been patient in explaining the world to his son, but sometimes he couldn't bite back a chuckle. One such time had been when Sokka asked if Waterbenders had more tears in their bodies to help them make friends with the water so they could move it. Hakoda had tossed back his wild head and laughed his bear-laugh before telling the little boy that Waterbenders had no more tears than any other people.

She knew on that day that her father had been wrong.

Her element poured from her eyes, staining her cheeks and shaking her entire body. A part of her bewildered mind couldn't understand why she didn't rattle while she shook. She was empty, after all. Empty of everything except the pieces of her heart. It had broken. Shattered. Blown apart like a mound of blastingjelly in its prime.

She was a warrior. She was strong. She had survived the Great War and countless battles without too much injury. She was proud that nothing so far had touched her. Nothing had broken any part of her. She had beaten them all with a righteous viciousness that her father said would make her mother proud. Against all the odds and all the danger she had come out on top.

And then, in the time of peace, came the words that destroyed everything.

She tried searching for the warning signs that the destruction was looming closer. She couldn't find any, no matter how hard she searched. Yes, they hadn't seen much of each other. Yes, they'd fought. Yes they'd spoken with each other and found that their plans differed a little bit. Yes, she'd always been fully aware of who he was and what that entailed. But those things had been normal. Everybody went through it. She'd never wanted to lose him, even when she was at her very angriest. She'd never dreamed of hearing the words he'd told her today. She'd never wanted it to end.

Not really.

And what, by the spirits, was she supposed to do now? She couldn't remember not being part of a bigger whole out in the big wild world. It had first been her and her brother, then Aang had joined in and then Toph and Suki and all the rest. And when all of them broke off from the whole after the war to form smaller wholes of their own she'd still been left with Aang. She'd still been his, and it had been easy and wonderful.

But now she was alone.

She'd sworn after her mother died that she'd never let herself be alone ever again. That promise- like so many other things- was broken. And that was the biggest reason why she cried.

It killed her even more to know that, somewhere in the Bei Fong's huge and beautiful house, the Avatar wept too. She hated herself for hurting him. Hated herself for wanting to comfort him after he'd made it so clear that…

She hated that she was alone but still tied to him with bonds that were now constricting the air out of her.

I'm gonna get through this
I gotta take my, take my mind off you

For three days nothing anybody had said or done had really broken through Katara's haze. She'd spent most of the first day in her room, buried under the blankets and refusing to speak to anybody. Nobody knew how to handle the situation; they were still in shock over the happenings. And the fact that all of them were friends with both Aang and the Waterbender made it even more difficult. After a while they decided to stay clear and let things run their course.

Katara had noticed none of this. The world was nothing but a blur of black and white that was unimportant. She was too busy trying to keep herself under control to perceive anything but the basics; the door was closed so she had to open it, the food was hot so she shouldn't eat it just yet, the wind was blowing on her so she should close the window.

That all changed when Zuko arrived.

She'd glanced up out of pure reflex when he entered, but as soon as she saw him her attention was hooked. His eyes met hers and understanding shivered through them at once. Suddenly the Waterbender was more aware of where she was and what she was doing. She watched him with keen interest as he forced polite conversation and then escaped outside to the darkness and the silence.

She was drawn to his side like the tide was drawn to the moon.

It didn't take them long to elaborate on the moment of clarity they'd shared when he'd arrived. The same thing had happened to him, she learned. His heart was gone, just like hers. To her horror and embarrassment she'd started crying again as she sat beside him. To her surprise he said nothing but held her, his strong and warm arms encircling her in an embrace that she'd missed even before her heart had broken.

They stayed under the stars together all night.

Give me just a second and I'll be alright
Surely one more moment couldn't break my heart

It felt like they were making excuses to see each other. At first she put it down to coincidence but after a while she could not deny that she was actively seeking him out. In a bid to explain it she put it down to the old saying that 'misery loves company'. He was hurting just like she was, even though he did not show it. Where her face would crumple at the sound of Aang's name or at the reminder of some place and some time that had been happy once, he just bore it all with grim silence.

After being around him for a week she could see the pain in his eyes, though.

The week stretched into two and they abandoned all pretences and spent every minute they could with each other. They taught each other of their cultures, their homes. They told stories that hurt and stories that brought laughter. They fished and trained and fought and made up and she wondered how she could ever have hated the golden fire that greeted her every morning with a smile. He, in turn, wondered how he could ever have mistaken her for a mere peasant. They hid nothing from each other except some bits of the past that were physically impossible to bring up.

Or so they thought.

One of their midnight walks outside suddenly and inexplicably found them dancing, the steps unsophisticated and made up on the spot. And as she whirled she laughed and forgot about her heart and her lost love and the world around her. And just when she thought things had reached their climax he was closer to her than he'd been since the catacombs.

And she couldn't stop herself.

She had to kiss him.

Warmth. Explosions. Bubbling happiness. Peace. Healing. Safety. All transferred over to her by two spicy, warm lips.

And then she remembered gray, laughing eyes and kisses so like the one she was currently having. And she felt his slight confusion as her lips responded differently to the ones he was used to. The ones he was still bonded to.

She couldn't help but run from him. There was nothing else she could do. If she stayed a grave mistake would have been made. She needed to sort through it all. It appeared her heart was back but it was hurting so much she wished it had stayed gone.

What was the point of being taught about love again if it wasn't fully hers?

Give me 'til tomorrow then I'll be okay
Just another day and then I'll hold you tight

They avoided each other for the next few days. Words never came when you really needed them. And then they found each other outside again, in the darkest part of a moonless night that displayed both their helplessness beautifully. His reaction to her presence was a lot of cutting words and hard glares. She knew him well enough after three years to understand that it was just his way of pouring out the pain, betrayal and confusion he must be feeling.

That knowledge didn't stop her from getting mad at him. He always made her so mad.

"I'm not going to be your rebound girl! I won't! If I start loving you I want to know that it's real, not some survival mechanism. If I start loving you I need to know you love me back."

He'd stared at her in a sort of stunned silence before doing something he rarely did; laugh. She'd been shocked, then hurt, and then furious. At her demands to know what was so funny he'd just smiled and stroked the corner of her eye.

"You're Fire Nation. I can see it inside your soul. Katara, it's too late. We've already started loving each other."

She couldn't argue with his truth. But he couldn't argue with hers, either. They were both too bound to heartache and old love to ever be good for each other. And although her heart told her it was the end and her tears told her she'd been stupid to let him go, she clung to the hope of his last words like a lifesaver.

"I'll wait."

When your love is pouring like the rain
I close my eyes and it's gone again

They pretended it had never happened. The weeks wore on and their promises faded into half-remembered memories. He would dream of that night all the time, seeing her in his mind like she was when she was bending. He could remember every bit of their first and only kiss. He could remember how she tasted and felt and burned like fiery water when she confronted him. And then he woke up and stared into the darkness and remembered how it had ended.

When will I get the chance to say I love you?
I pretend that you're already mine

Nobody thought she had a lot of things to regret in her life. But she did. There were some things she hated her reflection for every morning. As time moved on and she learned to function as part of only herself in the big world she began to wonder if letting him go was one of the things she would glare at herself for in years to come.

But Katara was always the optimist.

So she pushed away the doubt and the guilt and the regret and focused on him. She focused on the future, when her heart was healed again. She focused on the words she was going to say, the way she'd make his stubborn head realize what she felt and meant and promised. She focused on his coming as though she would see him at any minute. And she focused on her heart, searching it every morning for answers about love, loss, bonds and heartache.

Every day her heart changed a little bit more.

And my heart ain't breaking every time
I look into your eyes

Because of this she'd been excited and keyed up when she heard that more visitors had arrived on Kyoshi Island. She'd been planning on staying only a week but Sokka and Suki refused to let her leave. She'd seen the sails and thought that maybe, maybe, it was finally time.

And then she had entered the room with the loud voices and her eyes had met a pair of gray ones.

The second thing she saw was his hand entwined in the pretty girl's who stood at her side.

And she was breaking again. Drowning. Hating herself for crying even as the tears refused to stop.

It was worse that he was sorry for hurting her but not sorry enough to pretend his heart didn't belong to his new girl.

If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this

Every time they smiled at each other or held each other she felt another dagger squeeze into her heart. Every time the tears stopped the jealousy followed. Every time the jealousy reached breaking point the guilt would stop it in its tracks. Every time the guilt welled up she would remember gold eyes and a husky promise in the darkest part of a moonless night.

And the tears would start again.

If only I could get through this
Agni, Agni, you gotta help me get through this

Zuko had always known the spirits hated him. The scars on his body from his horrid childhood and most of his teenage years attested to that. But he'd been so sure they would leave him alone, at least, after the war ended.

Apparently they loved being cruel.

Why else would Mai have chosen that very month to vacation at Ember Island as well? Why else would she have the little house right next to his? Why else would his Uncle- in a bout of naïve hospitality- invite her over for tea? Why else would she arrive not alone, as planned, but with a man? Why else would the man be her new boyfriend?

He'd been behaved all throughout the tea. Painfully polite. Looking anywhere but her. Assuring his Uncle's worried and apologetic glances with forgiving ones of his own. He nearly broke the cup when they kissed each other 'secretly' in the other room. But he refrained from showing any anger other than causing the torches to flicker.

And then he was seeing them out, feeling relieved and broken all at once. And he happened to glance up at the sky. The moon stared back.

At the reminder of her and her blue eyes and her kiss, he snapped and trashed the whole house.

His uncle let him, eyes full of ancient sadness.

I gotta get through this
I gotta get through this

Katara was a healer. She should have seen it coming.

The tears lessened as the days wore on, but she was too busy trying to make herself not think of Aang that she didn't notice. She refused to read the communal letter Zuko and Iroh sent to all of them. She refused to be in Aang's company more than she absolutely needed to.

And then, one night, she ran out of excuses and was forced to spend the evening with him and his girl. The next night the same thing happened without her having any knowledge of how it happened. And the next. And the next. And suddenly she was finding she didn't have to make excuses any more. Things flowed easier; the stream was running again.

She was still cautious, though. Still waiting for the breaking point where she would attack the pretty little face of the girl and demand for her to back off. It was because of that caution that she didn't let herself think of the implications of Iroh's next letter that stated Mai was getting married and Zuko had agreed to be present and give his honest blessing upon their relationship.

She couldn't blot out the news that Zuko was also coming to Kyoshi.

I gotta make it, gotta make it, gotta make it through
Said I'm gonna get through this

She made herself scarce when Zuko arrived. Didn't even see him the whole afternoon. And by the time she made herself join the rest of the group downstairs he'd already excused himself to go and sit outside. The rest were in a party mood, and some of their happiness rubbed off on her, despite the circumstances.

And then, the unthinkable happened.

Aang asked her to dance.

Before she knew what she was doing she'd accepted, like she had in the cave so long ago. And they were whirling around each other, gray eyes locked to blue. And she was waiting, with a sinking heart, for the pain and memories and tears.

They didn't come.

After the dance he hugged her and then bounded up to his girlfriend and gave her a big kiss right in the middle of the room. She felt nothing.

And she began to laugh.

I'm gonna get through this

When she was done laughing she let herself outside without so much as a word of goodbye to the partying group of her loved ones. The moon was bright and leant light to the world and so it didn't take her long to find him. She watched him shoot fire into the darkness, body coiled and controlled.

The fire was warm, not hot; he was in no more pain.

He turned to her calmly and watched her, face blank but eyes smoldering. She walked towards him, her smile growing wider with each step. Neither of them said a word and neither of them broke the gaze. The corner of his mouth twitched up in a smile.

Katara stopped about an inch from Zuko's body and looked up at him with her smile blazing in her eyes.

And then she kissed him, smiling still. Her hands wound into his hair. His arms wound around her waist.

Their hearts wound around each other, finally unbroken and unbound.

I won't take, won't take my mind off you