Ready To Love Again by Lady Antebellum.
Seems like I was walking in the wrong direction
I barely recognize my own reflection, no
Scared of love but scared of life alone
She knew that by walking away from him, she was walking the wrong way. She was walking away from his love, his warm embrace, and his strong and safe arms. Crossing over a wooden bridge, she tried to escape the flood of unexpected, overwhelming feelings. She looked down towards the clear, calm pond. She suddenly stopped, and gazed into the mirrored surface. The person looking back at her… was not her, not the person she thought she was, hoped she was. It was her, but it was a stranger. The always-present fire-red hair, the sharp bright green eyes, red lips… It was her eyes, but instead of the fire that usually burned bright within them, there was simply a dullness that showed the emotional and physical fatigue she was feeling. She suddenly felt sick at who she had become. Why? Why? Why? Why? She turned around, desperate not to see that person again. She couldn't make herself go through this anymore. Steeling herself, she walked back, each step sounding like another part of her heart breaking, and another silent plea. A sound that no one else could hear - but one which rung inside of her mind, every minute of every hour of every day.
Seems I've been playing on the safe side baby
Building walls around my heart to save me, oh
But it's time for me to let it go
She had never let anyone close to her heart after Jethro. She had never loved anyone else like she had Jethro. Ever since Paris, she had built walls around herself; impenetrable, impassable. Sure, she went on dates and flirted, but she always left before it got too serious. Better leave them with brutal honesty than with lying. But, with him, it was different. When she saw him again, the first time in fifteen years, all those strong walls crumbled. But she hid it behind her professional facade; what else could she do? She knew what she had to do; she just didn't want to admit it. She had to let go.
Yeah, I'm ready to feel now
No longer am I afraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I'm ready to love again
She was prepared- if you called a bottle of bourbon and lots of self-convincing 'prepared'. She didn't deny it anymore; she had fallen for him, presumably fifteen years ago. As soon as she thought this, she rolled her eyes in mock disgust - so cliché. Both of them had to forget the bitterness of the past so that they could move on. Jenny wasn't afraid anymore, of how it might end. She was ready to love again. She just hoped he was too.
Just when we think that love will never find you
You runaway but still it's right behind you, oh
It's just something that you can't control
She ran away once, for her career; it had made her leave him. But this time, she wouldn't let it. She was not going to run away this time, she swore to herself, as she knew that neither of them could take the pain that would come with leaving again. The last time she did, she had never been able to let go. A sudden memory or flashback would always slap her in the face, made her realize just what she had lost. Especially when she saw younger couples, so in love, so carefree and happy, just like they used to be. It always made her realize just how alone she really was. But she couldn't control love, just like she couldn't control her desire to see him, to hear his voice, to be in his embrace. She wouldn't ever tell anyone, because she always felt so childish, but every time she saw a shooting star she wished on it. It was another habit she had picked up from the famous Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He used to point at one when they'd stare at the sky, and he'd say, "Make a wish." Tonight's wish: I hope…
Yeah, I'm ready to feel now
No longer am I afraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I'm ready to love again
She stood up straight. Taking strong, determined steps, she reached the front of the door. She was fearless; tired of always beating around the bush, tonight she was going to confront him. They were going to say everything they needed to, and fight until it finally made sense. She was taking the second chance he had offered. She was taking a leap of faith.
So come and find me
I'll be waiting up for you
I'll be holding out for you tonight
She was sitting in her study; glasses perched on her nose reading some old case files when she heard him. The engine rumbled and then quickly died, cut off abruptly. Just a second later, she heard the front door open and close with the customary slam. He was here; it was now or never.
Yeah, I'm ready to feel now
No longer am I afraid of the fall down
When he approached, she stated, "I'm not afraid."
"You never were," he replied. She smiled a bit ruefully. "I was just waitin' for you to realize it."
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I'm ready, I'm ready to love again.
He quietly closed the door to the study for once. It was time to put the past in its place and grasp the future with open arms. That night was the night it all changed, and a life they had always dreamt of took a tentative step forward into its possible future. The last two words you could hear that night were Jenny's words, "I'm ready."