It would have come sooner, but then I went out into the woods on a spiritual journey...eggs were eaten, fires were lit, it was a roaring success.
Anyways...Here it is, as promised.
Something nice and fluffy.
"Robbie?" I shriek, eyes blowing open at the sight of the boy beneath me. My heart thuds within my chest, pounding as I feel his body rise and fall beneath me. My eyes wander away from his face, trailing down the nape of his neck and spying a blanket wedged between us.
"The one and only." Robbie's answer comes in the form of a joke, his voice taking on the tone of a wealthy English aristocrat. His eyes shining brightly as I feel my heart flutter happily within my chest. As bizarre as it is to be lying on top on him in the middle of a hallway, I can't force myself to pull away from him. Laughter shudders from my lips, amusement dancing in my eyes at his theatrical greeting.
"What are you doing here?" If I had expected his smile to vanish at my words, I'd be surprised to see it widen. He's looking up at me like he used to, you know, before Jade's intervention. I push thoughts of her to the side, instead echoing Robbie's smile. In his company, I feel the stress of the past few days beginning to drain away.
"I thought you might be cold." He offers, tugging the edge of a blanket from beneath me. I feel my heart flutter wildly as his hand brushes against my abdomen, a blush flourishing on my cheeks at his caress. It's so strange, of all the people in my life; I had never expected Robbie to be my center, the oasis of calm at the center of madness that is my life. A comfortable silence descends over us.
"Tori, you're crushing my spleen." The wheeze that escapes Robbie's throat pulls me away from the wondrous thoughts flooding my mind. Biting the inside of my cheek to avoid laughing at his feeble tone, I haul myself off him. The further I stray from his body, the less relaxed I feel, the less at peace I am.
"Sorry." I mumble, avoid his gaze, my hair cascading over my cheeks and hiding their crimson flush. I'm halfway into a shame spiral, when a warmth encloses my hand. Peering at the source of the warmth, I see Robbie's fingers entwining with my own, his thumb caressing me. Lifting my head, I find him smiling back at me, the warmth in my hand is nothing compared to what rushes through my heart at the sight of his face. It would be like comparing a campfire to a supernova.
"As far as spleen crushings go, that was not terrible." Robbie's words float through the air easily, the lightness in them something I haven't heard in what feels like hours. I could almost shut my eyes and imagine we're simply in a hallway at school. He's grinning at me now, that boyish grin tugs at my heartstrings, playing a beautiful melody.
"Uh, thanks?" I splutter, unsure of what to say, I know it was a complement, but he seems so much more confident, so much at ease all of a sudden. I wonder when it happened, when he blossomed into something more than a gangly weed at my side. I cross my arms and draw them tightly against my chest, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden.
"So…here are your blankets." His arms extend mechanically towards me as his eyes dip to the floor. The confidence in his words faltering under the weight of his nervous movements, like he doubts I'll even accept his gift. My own arms spill forward, plucking the blankets from him gratefully. Truthfully, I hadn't even thought to ask for bedding supplies. My heart lurches, as if to remind me he's always been like this, I'd just been too blind to see it.
"You're amazing. You know that, right?" I mumble, biting down slightly on my bottom lip until my mind tumbles into sync with my mouth. Realizing what I had just said, my hands shoot to my lips, trying in vain to stuff the words back into my mouth. Robbie's gaze rises towards me once again; I had been expecting his hand to retreat, for him to blush and turn away. Instead, he steps ever so slightly closer to me, swallowing the distance between us.
"Nah." The words pass ever so slightly through his lips, he's leaning ever so slightly closer to me, I think it's the only reason I heard them. Impatience overtakes me, I snake my free arm around his neck and drag him closer. My lips collide with his and it's something like fireworks, but I think it's brighter. It's something like the best meal I've ever eaten, bit I think it tastes better. I sink into his embrace, moaning into his mouth as I feel his arm snake around my back and draw me ever closer.
After what feels like both an eternity and the blink of an eye, Robbie's lips aren't pressing against my own anymore and he's sliding ever so slightly too far away from me. Drawing in long deep breaths, I run my index finger over my lips, they're swollen from the heat of our embrace and I feel as if there's electricity dancing through them. Then his fingers begin to slide from my grip, his body begins to twist away from me. My eyes blow wide open and without a second thought, my fingers clamp down, holding him in place.
"Are you going?" The words tumble forth, cracking on my lips and exposing the desperation in my voice. What little movement had been in Robbie freeze at the sound of my voice. His eyes focus on me and nothing else, I feel like the only person in the world when he looks at me that way. My heart leaps around in my chest; slamming against my insides as though it's trying to force it's way out.
"I…could stay?" He replies, punctuating his words by swallowing. I giggle slightly, the sensation tickling my lips. Robbie's propensity to go from one extreme to the other never ceases to amaze me. One moment he can be bold enough to kiss me, the next and he's retreating back into his shell.
"Please?" I use my best persuasive voice; my tone registering a few octaves higher than usual and lip bottom lip sticks out. It's a dirty trick, but I feel like he'd stay no matter what how I asked; this just gives him a reason not to feel so afraid of rejection constantly.
"I'll stay." Where there had been concern, a smile begins to flicker. Within seconds Robbie's lips twitch and he's grinning widely, looking as happy as he had right after our kiss. I feel like we're finally on the road back to where we once were. Impulsively, I lean forwards erase the distance between our lips. It's less a kiss and more just my lips grazing against his, but I feel butterflies within my stomach as I take his hand and skip towards the vending machines.
"Where are we going?" he asks, keeping pace with me and now maintaining his grip on my hand. Even the memory of what I'm doing, who I'm doing it for and why I'm doing it In the first place isn't enough to sour my mood. I steal a glance at Robbie as he lurches forward ungracefully, trying to keep in time with my movements.
"Trina's awake and wanted water." I explain, biting the inside of my lip to avoid laughing at him. My mind wander back to Trina, remembering how polite she had been with her request. My lips flicker for a moment, before Robbie squeezes my hand lightly, reminding me of his presence. Like the clouds after a storm, the melancholy within me drifts away.
"Uh…how is she?" He asks as we come to a halt in front of a machine with just the water Trina always drinks. Reaching into my front pocket as a reason to delay my response, I silently fumble around for the note I had placed in there before hand. Eventually I pull it out, lifting it into the air, I shimmy my hips in a short victory dance, hoping to ward off the tension that's slowly seeping into the air.
"She's…sorry." I state vaguely, not really wanting to expand on the matter. Robbie nods slightly, seemingly realizing as much. My lips curl upwards at the expression on his face, he looks so concerned, yet so determined not to upset me by asking anything more. His arms flicker at his sides and as I attempt to force the crumpled note into the vending machine. I'm pretty sure he'd be hugging me if I weren't jumping around, trying in vain to make the accursed machine accept my money.
"So…you guys are talking?" He notes absently, as the machine finally hums it's compliance and I type in the code for Trina's bottled water. I nod slightly, before tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear and turning back to Robbie. His arms are clasped in front of him now, nervously twitching as though they're not where they want to be.
I'd like to think I can read him fairly well now, so I'm pretty sure he's worried I'll try and throw the affection back in his face after how upset he got when Jade kissed me. I don't think I could muster the will to push him away though, not when ever fibre of my being is screaming at me to never let him go.
"Weirdly, yeah." I reply, bending over and dragging the bottle out of the tray near the bottom of the vending machine. I wonder if Robbie is watching me, if his eyes are lingering on my body. Without giving myself away, I peer back at him through our shared reflections. Instead of staring lecherously at my ass, he's watching me through the same reflection I can see him in, simply waiting for me to turn around again. Between the relief that he's not treating me like a piece of meat, a small part of me almost feels disappointed he hadn't tried to sneak a peak. I shake my head and whirl around to face him once more.
"Are you ok?" He asks, eyebrows upturning as a crease forms on his brow. My heart flutters at the look of devotion on his face, he's almost perfect. Well, other than his horrible social skills and complete lack of self-confidence anyway. I nod lightly, though I almost want to tell him that I'm not, just so he'll hold me close. Instead my arm shoots out, entwining our fingers once again.
As we pass through the hallway, I can't suppress the smile on my face. I feel rotten for smiling when there are so many people in so much pain around me, but I'm comforted as I see an elderly man wheeling his frail looking wife part us. They're old and they're weary, but he's she's wearing the same kind of smile that I am. The kind of smile that almost seems to whisper forever.
"I can…I'll wait outside until you two are done." Robbie's words tumble forth, creaking and wavering on their way to my ears as he comes to a halt behind me. We're outside Trina's room and I feel my throat tighten, though I nod in agreement with him. It's probably for the best that I warn Trina of his presence and ask that she try and remain civil around him. Dragging together whatever nerve is left within me, I step away from Robbie and into the darkness.
"Here's your water." I nod towards her with my words as they stumble through the dark. Trina actually offers a grateful smile as she props herself up on an elbow and clasps the bottle. The urge to tell her she shouldn't be sitting up in her condition lingers on my lips, though I suppress the urge to vocalize it. Trina will do what she wants, when she wants. My advice won't have any bearing on her decisions.
"Who was talking to you…you know, outside?" Trina's voice sounds revitalized with the aid of water, as though it was the magic elixir and something to heal her every ailment. I wince at her blunt approach to the subject; I had been hoping to skirt the issue for a few more moments. I'm not sure what she'll say about the truth, so I hesitate with my answer, my tongue suddenly becoming useless.
"Uh…Robbie." I finally state, shaking my doubts away. He's dealt with Trina before, I'm sure he can deal with an immobile version of her. I study her face, searching for some kind of revulsion. The site that greets me throws me for a loop, she simply nods in silent contemplation.
"Figures." Trina's response catches me completely off guard and I almost stumble at the sound of her voice. Even without the look of revulsion on her face, I had expected her to say something harsh, a biting insult to accompany her words.
"Wh-what makes you say that?" My eyebrows dig into my nose, I fumble my words as a the initial shock of her words wears off, and haze of confusion descends upon me. Trina heaves a sigh, wincing painfully as the air escapes her. I leap forward through pure instinct, ready to make sure she's alright. I'm halted in mid movement as Trina's arm waves me away dismissively.
As a silence creeps into the air around us, I wonder if this is one of those life changing events people experience. Had this been any point in the past, Trina would be playing up her condition and demanding that I blink for her, or something equally as ridiculous.
"As you know, I didn't remember Friday night…" Trina begins, eyebrows upturning as her eyes glaze over, regret swimming within her brown orbs. Trina's eyes flutter and I know she's holding back tears, it's something I haven't seen in years, usually she's all about using tears to her advantage. The gnawing feeling my gut that maybe this is the wake up call that Trina had needed just won't go away. I quickly stride toward Trina's bedside cabinet and grasp a box of tissues. Offering what I hope is a comforting smile, I place them within the immediate reach of Trina's hand.
"…that puppet toting dork was the one to remind me." She concludes, having suppressed her tears for the moment. Her lips shift slightly, mechanically forcing themselves into a weak smile. I know that calling Robbie a dork was her attempt at lightening the revelation, to force this situation to become less of a pitch black hole and simply the darkened room we're actually in.
"He hasn't been carrying Rex around lately, you know…" My tongue re-engages at her words. Fire burns through my veins, in spite of the fact that her comment was meant as a joke. He's the boy that sends my heart into a frenzy, the boy that's there for me no matter what. I'm sick of everybody treating him like a complete joke.
"Who cares?" Trina snorts, evidently missing the annoyance in my voice. Usually I'd huff and roll my eyes angrily, but it's almost a relief to see Trina acting like herself. Underneath the tapestry of pain covering her body, I know my sister is in there, she's still Trina, I just hope she's mellowing a little bit.
"I do…" I reply defiantly, my eyebrows resting heavily against my eyes as determination colors my expression. Trina's eyes focus on me again, shooting open at the look of seriousness on my face. Her smirks slightly, almost looking smug as she shakes her head incredulously. Feeling a surge of annoyance towards my sister, I run my fingers through my hair, hoping to distract my mind and allow it to wander from its annoyed state.
"You really care about him. Don't you?" Trina's words instantly clear the irritation from my mind, her words suddenly sounding more sincere than she has in a long time. As much as I want to say I need to wrack my brain for an answer, that silence lingers between us with my indecision, it doesn't. As soon as the words leave Trina's lips, I know exactly what my answer is going to be and not a beat passes between us before I reply.
"Yeah, I do." Just saying it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Peering down at the blanket in my hand, warmth filters through my chest, I run my tongue over my lips, I swear that I can almost taste him still. My heart shudders in my chest, remembering that he's outside waiting and that I don't have to wait here alone anymore.
"I think he's in love with you." Trina's words pull my gaze away from the blanket and back to her. She's peering over at me with barely concealed amusement as I tumble forward slightly, losing my footing at her admission. Bitterly, I almost wish she wasn't so chatty, so full of observations. Apparently she's the second person to realize my feelings before I've even had a chance to do so. For somebody in her condition, she's remarkably talkative.
"W-what makes you say that?" My annoyance quickly subsides under the insistent beat within my chest as my heart flutters around nervously. I gape at Trina and have trouble wrapping my tongue around any words, to mount any kind of denial for a few moments. Saying that I care for Robbie is one thing, but putting a label on it, that's not something I'm not sure I'm ready for.
"On Monday he confronted me about it. I didn't know what he was talking about so I left and went to Frankie. He said that sounded about right." Trina's voice is so much quieter than usual, her words so much slower. It's as though she's actually putting thought into what she says for once. Her voice cracks and falters by the time she reaches the end of her reply, the guilt I had seen in her eyes before coming back full force. I reach out and clasp her hand with my own, hoping that she'll realize that I'm already well on the way to forgiving her. She wasn't herself; I can't bring myself to hold it against her.
"He confronted you?" I wonder out loud, expecting to see Trina shrug and comment that it was nothing. Instead, her eyes darken and her shoulders stiffen. It's as though she's reliving the conversation in her head, just going by the way her lips quiver, I realize it's not a pleasant memory. Not seeing anything resembling a look of amusement on Trina's face, I realize that for once she took him seriously. Robbie made a stand for me even against somebody that scares him half to death. Now she's here and admitting that it had an effect on her, such was his intensity. I swallow my nerves, ignoring my insistent heart, ignoring the urge I have to run into his arms.
"Yeah, got all dark and spooky." Trina finally replies, her voice creaking and tearing at the seams. Eyeing the looking on my sisters face, I wonder to myself what exactly he'd said to her. I can honestly say those are two words I'd never associate with Robbie, he's the light in my life, the person that holds me tightly when I'm afraid. It just doesn't seem right.
"He did?" I know it's a stupid question, but I'm honestly having a hard time picturing Robbie acting this way. Trina turns away from me, resting against her mountain of pillows as she peers over at Frankie Valentine. I find my thoughts wandering to their relationship, what are they? Are they dating or does he just have the best drugs out of everybody Trina knows. As much as I want to know, I realize it's just not something I can ask her yet. The wounds are literally too fresh.
"Yeah. Look Tori, you know what he's like. He's a timid dork by nature, for you to bring that sort of thing out in him, well you must mean a lot to him." Trina turns to face me once again, one of the few locks of hair that isn't pinned down my bandages cascading over her face. With some effort, Trina weakly extends towards me, it comes to rest on my hip as she forces the words through her lips with some effort.
"Yeah…" As the word passes my lips, I can see cracks appearing within her façade. Trina is a lot more tired than what she wants me to see, she's doing her best to hide it, but she's on the brink of collapse.
"Look, all I'm saying is that he might be worth holding onto." She states, pressing on as though she realizes that it's only a matter of time before she's going to need rest again. Her words are oddly sisterly, like she's finally accepted the fact that I'm her little sister and sometimes I need her. This isn't one of those times though. As much hesitation as the word love evokes within me, I know Robbie's worth holding close, worth all of the effort that it's going to take to fix his issues.
"Thanks Trina." I mumble, the haze of my thoughts new quite ascending from my mind. I fold my arms tightly against me, feeling oddly comforted by the sister that had sent me into cold sweats and haunted my nightmares only days ago.
"I know, I'm the best." Trina's reply drags me back into reality once more; the confident swagger trying to force it's way back into her voice. She comes across as a broken down amusement park ride though, what had once been a brightly lit attraction, seems hollow and more than a little broken. My heart lurches in sympathy for Trina, I almost miss her overbearing self-confidence. I think it's gone forever though.
"Yeah, and as such, you should get some rest." I state, finally dragging myself into the real world and seeing that Trina needs rest. As much as I know she's going to protest, I step over to the top end of her bed. In any other situation I'd never consider doing what I'm about to do, but since she's in hospital, I suck it up and fluff her pillow. Instead of the irritated huff I'm expecting, she smiles gratefully at me. If my heart wasn't warmed by her gratitude, I'd be totally creeped out by this sudden change in her behavior.
"Night lil sis." She replies with a yawn, the response is a little to fast to be a spur of the moment thing, I wonder how long she's been forcing herself to stay awake, to talk to me. I lean down and plant a chaste kiss on her forehead, realizing that she's already fallen asleep.
As the sounds of Trina's soft snoring filter through the room, my thoughts turn to Robbie, to bringing him close to me. My heart flutters happily as I whirl around and carefully step towards the door, making sure I don't wake Trina. As I force it open, I know he'll be in the seat right in front of the door, waiting for me with open arms.
He's not.
And there you have it, some delicious fluff and an irritatingly vague ending to the chapter, just like old times!
Muchos thanks for the reviews y'all, keep em coming.