When Duncan returns home with a sleeping Izzy in his arms, the house is too quiet and Gwen is awake, curled up against a pillow her eyes red rimmed with tears.
He tries the door to the room the twins' share but he finds it locked. A folded piece of paper has fallen in the hallway, a thick manila colored one.
It's the Strathmore paper, from Gwen's sketchbook. He hefts Izzy into one arm and leans down to grab the paper. The picture makes his heart stop beating, he sees red but forces himself to fold the paper and put it back in the hallway where he found it.
After all these years…
He knocks softly on the doorframe but Gwen is a million miles away. She jerks awake when Duncan slides her daughter next to her, and when her eyes lay on the child she flinches and slides out of bed.
"Oh pretty girl, what happened now?" Duncan can't find it in his heart to be upset at her, not when Essie is now where to be seen and her other has obviously been crying a river. She doesn't touch him, but only stares into his teal eyes with a hardened expression that softened into a questioning glance.
"I made you a promise." She whispers this as if she wants him to deny it.
"Which one. Ya know, over the course of 10 years we've made a lot of promises." His gentle tease does nothing for her accept maybe drawing a half a smile. Or she at least looks less tense.
"I promised if he ever came back, I'd push him right back out… or else you'd…" Her voice trails off again and she's not looking at him but at that damned piece of paper.
"Yeah, that one still stands." A hard gleam forms in his eyes making them look bluer, more like ice that teal.
"But you know I tried contacting him. When the twins were first born… I called from the number you managed to find and sent him emails and he just…didn't answer but now he was in the park and Essie got lost and then Alejandro rescued her and I yelled at him… That's why Essie's locked herself in the room…"
"With the drawing of Alejandro right?" He honestly didn't want to hurt her, but still. The entire situation was getting ridiculous.
"How could you let him get to Essie, Gwen? How could you let her get lost? I just don't understand how stupid I mean after the amusement park incident!"
"Yeah, the amusement park incident where you let my daughter out of your sight so you could get a snack. The incident where you let her get lost. She was 7 years old Duncan! You let my daughter get kidnapped in a fucking kiddie park! So don't you dare place the blame on me. It's your fault she cant even look strangers in the eye, it's your fault my baby is too terrified to go outside."
"Gwen, look I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for ever letting her out of my sight." She holds up a hand, shaking her head. He closes his eyes and rubs his temples. He is bone tired now; they are both trudging up old wounds that have only festered with the years.
"You know I love the girls… and I love you…"He takes a step forward hesitantly an she lowers her eyes, her expression is half confusion, half pain, half sorrow.
"She hasn't eaten since we got home. You know she's underweight for her age."
"Want me to get the door open I presume." She nods her ascent and leans up to kiss him softly on the lips. It's as much apology as he was going to get, so he kissed her back. He pulled away and held her gaze for a moment but then went to pick the door.
The door is old, and he breaks his credit card trying to open it (which makes Gwen giggle, so it was worth it) and finally he does. The room is dark, and smells terrible. He sees Essie crouched on floor, her stomach heaving and she is quietly sobbing.
"Duncan, go get the Nyquil. Break it in half and drop it in a glass of-"
"Milk and honey but make sure it's warm. I got it." Gwen slowly enters the room and Essie lifts her head up.
"You let the bad man take me away… Then you took Daddy away…" Essie is sobbing and she curls up in her comforter humming a Spanish lullaby softly. Gwen knows better than to approach her now like this but Duncan is there with glass of milk and honey.
"Panic attack?"
"She must be dreaming about her kidnapper again… The doctor said a stable environment should ease her PTSD but…" Gwen shakes her head and sighs deeply. Her skin looks gaunt and pale and in Duncan's eyes she looks so young and lost.
"I'm gonna go wake up Izzy and first thing in the morning we'll take them both to the doctors." Gwen nods slowly; this was how things were done. Duncan was her rock.
But maybe Alejandro could have been if I had given him the chance…
The random thought stumped her, but Essie started shivering then and Gwen rushed to her child's side
"Essie, its Mommy…"
"I want my Daddy…" She whispers this softy, and Gwen notes the evenness of her voice, a good sign.
Thank god this attack wasn't as ad as before…
"Sweetheart, I brought you something to drink." She offers the drink to her daughter, who eyes the milk suspiciously but leans forward to take a sip.
Izzy rushes to the door, her eyes still full of sleep but she sits down next to her sister. Essie visibly relaxes and Izzy wraps her arms around the younger mussing her hair.
"You cut your hair Essie…It's really cute!" She continues to babble about her day and Essie slowly falls asleep, her head against her sister's shoulder. Izzy kisses her forehead and wraps the blanket around them both, and on instinct Essie curls up murmuring and twisting resting listlessly.
Izzy turns and her eyes find her mothers in the darkness.
She looks so old for her age… Always protecting and caring for Essie…. She understands her better than Duncan and I ever can.
"She's sick mom."
Gwen's mouth is dry, and she nods silently. Izzy smiles softly and curls up, her back turned to her mother.
"You are a good Mom… You do your best for us…"
"Thank you, Izzy."