Chapter Six

The following morning, Rachel Berry was happily running a breakfast errand. What she didn't know was that she should have been focusing much less on breakfast and much more on either staying hidden at home or running away.

Moments before she was due to arrive at her soymilk laden destination she was suddenly grabbed and dragged to a secluded part of the parking lot by someone she would deem as having freakish strength in lightly toned arms.

"Unhand me you fiend!," Rachel yelled before her mouth was covered by a strangely gentle hand.

She caught sight of a dark vehicle with a door thrown open and realized she was truly in trouble when she was unceremoniously tossed inside and locked in.

"Damn child lock you foil me again!," Rachel said as she shied away from the person who had just gotten in the driver's side and revved the engine.

Many things ran through her head in those few seconds. Like whether she was being kidnapped by would be rivals due to her superior talent, or whether she was to be sold due to her superior talent or whether she was to be put on display… due to her superior talent.

Once she had gotten a good look at the driver who was at that moment steering them on towards an unknown destination at rather a great speed, Rachel's thoughts shut down completely.

"Santana? You're the one who's kidnapping me? This is much worse than I thought!," Rachel got out as only Rachel could.

"Volume down Berry! Some of us in this car still has hearing ability and you're about to change that with your megaphone for a mouth!"

"Why are you kidnapping me? I demand to know right now Santana! Tell me! Is it because of my talent? We're on the same team! I can coach you if you want! Just why why why why would you do this? Oh and where's Quinn? Is she good? What does she think of my talent?"

"Don't ask me questions when my reasons don't even make sense to me anymore. Please, stop with everything that you're doing with your mouth. God I freaking hate this! I've kidnapped an idiot."

"My parents are going to demand an explanation!"

"I told them you were with Quinn planning the wedding."

"Is that where we're going?"

"No! I told them that so obviously it's a lie. Listen to what other people are saying. I just feel like you and Fabray have had it a little too easy and it's time to spice your relationship up a bit."

"Were you sent by Coach Sylvester because she wants the cheerio babies already?"

"What the hell did you just say?"

"I was just wondering if you were sent because Coach Sylvester wants us to … you know… start having the cheerio babies."

"In answer to that I'm going to turn the radio on and hope you turn your mouth off."

Santana gunned the engine once more and sped the car forward in an attempt to distract Rachel from her raging strangeness, right past some flashing red and blue lights.

"Dammit! You're like a bad luck idiot!," Santana hissed as she was forced to pull over. "Don't say anything Berry or…"

"Don't worry Santana I'll handle this," Rachel replied, drawing a facepalm from the driver.

"No Berry, no!"

"Hello ladies," the officer said as he walked up to their window. "License and registration please."

Santana flipped the glove box and started fumbling inside for the papers while Rachel beamed her smile at the suspicious looking policeman.

"Hello officer, quite a fine day we're having isn't it. I believe it would be quite nice for an on the beach picnic don't you think? I of course prefer vegan meals which suit the theme of picnics just fine."

"What are you doing?," Santana asked her through gritted teeth as she handed the documents over.

"Making conversation," Rachel replied nonchalantly.

"He's a cop not a… whatever type of person that actually likes listening to you!"

"We need to make conversation to show that we're not weirdos!"

"The opposite happens when it's conversation that's coming from you Berry!

"Do you have any idea how fast you were going ladies?," the cop asked, not caring to listen to any more strange conversation from the two girls.

"Believe me sir, you would have been going much faster if you had to drive with her," Santana replied, face and voice devoid of any sort sarcasm.

"That's untrue Santana!," a completely scandalized Rachel threw out complete with a light smack directed at the other girl's arm before she turned her attention back to the frowning man standing next to their car.

"Sir, that is severely untrue. I'll have you know that I'm very companionable in car rides. Especially long-drive situations! In fact to thank me for being as such my fathers like to thank me by always ensuring I'm extremely comfortable with a personal DVD player with my favourite shows as entertainment so I am repaid for amusing them by being able to amuse myself quietly!"

The officer looked from the still rambling Rachel back to Santana who just gave him an almost apologetic shrug.

"I can kind of see where you're going with that but a speed limit is still a limit alright? Keep to it and I'll let you go with a warning."

"Thank you officer," Santana said sincerely as she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Yes, thank you officer. Now I'll have another chance to prove to Santana how wrong she is and just how amusing I can be as a passenger."

The cop merely nodded at her before shooting a glance back at Santana.

"Good luck with that."

Once she had safely navigated them to their destination, Santana literally jumped out of the car and ran around it to let Rachel out.

The two looked at each other for a moment before Rachel smiled at the other girl.

"Thank you for the ride Santana," she said.

"Hey hey, I kidnapped you Berry! And don't you forget it!"

Santana wandered off to leave Rachel scampering after her into the largest building in the vicinity.

Though Santana was used to the grueling intensity of the voice they heard echoing the halls as they walked in, Rachel wasn't and found herself frozen on the spot.

"Oh come on Berry, it's a little late to freak out now. You're about to get your welcome to cheerio camp."

"Listen up ladies," Coach Sylvester roared through her megaphone at the cheerios gathered around her. "You are winners. You know why? Because I'm here. During the days you will spend here at Sue Sylvester's cheerio camp, you will eat, breathe and sleep-"

"Cheerleading?," someone shouted out.

"No! Don't interrupt! You're about to get a life full of Sue Sylvester!"

Santana sneaked in using stealth learned from her many extracurricular activities she liked to share with Brittany and happily let Rachel stand at the door, on her own looking like she was staring at a bunch of aliens she walked in on at their landing site.

Her eyes met Quinn's for a brief moment before the blonde's left hers to search and send destructive eye messages to a smirking Santana.

"What on Earth is going on here?," the Coach asked, still through her megaphone. "Berry are you lost? This is a little far from your usual territory isn't it? Are you on an errand for Santa or something? No showing up here without permission! I should have written that in the prenup…"

"Coach Sylvester please don't misunderstand, I'm not here of my own accord!," Rachel insisted as she walked in. I was kidnapped this morning! Whilst on a soymilk run for my delicious vegan pancakes I was abruptly coerced into entering an unknown vehicle and then threatened! I was threatened! Hi Quinn."

"Hi Rachel. Who threatened you? Who threatened her?"

"Be quiet Fabray! And stop looking so protective. Part of your training here is in ruthlessness not… mushy… fiancée… behavior or whatever you call that face you're making right now and those damn puppy eyes Berry is making at you. Check your schedules people! You'll find ruthlessness is to be taught from one o'clock to four o'clock right after lunch since it's best learnt just after you've eaten so you have something to throw up! It's right there in big, bold, capital letters."

All of the cheerios who have also had part of their training dedicated to survival at least made a show of perusing their schedules as none of them wanted their pieces of paper to be splattered by blood courtesy of an angry raging blonde.

Rachel, who had received no such training at that very moment had her hand raised straight up in the air as she waited for Coach Sylvester to call on her so she could explain herself further.

"Look Berry I have no idea what you even said earlier, partly because I don't care and partly since I do not speak the hobbit language. So there's pretty much no way that I'm gonna call on you just so you can speak gibberish at me again."

Sylvester paused then as she wondered what to do with the girl before she decided to pause that thought since more ranting was in order.

"I said no pets, no significant others and no parents anywhere near my cheerleading camp! I even said that I would send all pets to be hidden in Schuester's office for my own amusement AND that I would shoot any significant others I found on sight. Lucky for all of you, especially you Fabray, principal Figgins searched the bus before we were allowed to leave."

Rachel merely stood there, trying to huff indignantly but mostly just pouting with her arms folded over her chest.

"As I was trying to explain to you earlier Coach Sylvester," she began before being interrupted once again.

"Still not listening Berry and still don't care so I just have one thing to say. Santana, get out."

"Why me?," the Latina asked incredulously as she feigned innocence, standing next to Brittany and amongst the other cheerleaders as if she had always been with them.

Coach Sylvester merely narrowed her eyes at the girl as she lowered her megaphone.

Santana was about to push for innocence even though she still had Rachel by the elbow, the only thing stopping Quinn from pouncing on her was the fact that Rachel didn't seem like she was in immediate danger and Coach Sylvester was still growling.

In fact the brunette was about to start arguing again while Quinn looked like she was about to interject on her behalf but both were out-Sylvestered and left unable to say whatever they had planned.

The short haired blonde took a breath and quickly lifted her megaphone back up to her mouth, taking brisk steps steadily towards Santana and forcing the cheerios crowded around her to take a step back out of nervousness.

"Because you're here and I can see it in your lying breasts! Therefore I'm almost sure that this is your fault! Go run laps until your Captain deems it suitable for you to stop which will be when I'm tired. I need to appease her somehow, with the way she looks right now it seems to me that principal Figgins should have searched her bags too. Did you bring weapons Fabray?"

"Fine, I'll go," Santana replied, annoyed when Rachel tried to follow her.

"Me too, this is a cheerio even and I so obviously don't belong here as my talents lie in the arts and not in sweating. If somebody could point me towards the exit…"

Coach Sylvester narrowed her eyes at the girl and motioned for Becky to restrain Rachel.

Unfortunately for the girl, her Captain was quicker and even managed to deliver a slight flick to her forehead before standing protectively beside the brunette.

"I saw that Fabray! I'm looking right at you! I will commend you for ruthlessness but dammit don't flick Becky!," Sylvester said to her Captain, hurling the words at her angrily before turning to Rachel. "Now Berry, this is my cheerio camp, no one leaves here before they can literally cheer their hearts out. You're here now and as such you belong to me now. Suit up."

"Coach Sylvester, I'm quite unaware of what you actually mean by that," the brunette replied. "All I heard was excessive growling and I can't really tell much from your body language… you don't really have any."

"Fabray! Forget about Santana right now, I'm even more annoyed that she brought Berry with her so she can run until I say she can stop. You take the rest of the cheerios to get settled in their rooms. Check for contraband, there is to be no unauthorized food consumption while you're here. Or ever. Pierce, you take Berry to go get changed. I don't want cheerio babies being produced right at this moment."

"But Coach Sylvester, I was about to go cheer on Santana with her running," Brittany said with a pout.

"It's fine, I'll take Rachel to get changed," Quinn cut in quickly.

"What did I just say about cheerio babies?"

"Ooh, how's it feel to get Quinn-blocked Romeo?," Santana called as she collected her gear.

"Laps airbags! You're messing with team bonding early, that isn't scheduled until the last day!"

"What's wrong with the clothes I'm wearing now?," Rachel asked in response only to have the whole room turn on her.

"Everything!," they chorused.

That is, everyone but Quinn who merely shook her head at the turn of events.

Once Quinn had everyone's rooming situations planned out and all the cheerios were preparing for their training, the captain was sent outside to check if Santana was still alive.

Noticing that the girl was still jogging solidly, while throwing in a swear word or two under hear breath.

"Why would you think this is even remotely a good idea?," Quinn asked as she fell into step with the girl.

"Well before I went to sleep last night I was thinking how you had it easy…"

"Maybe you haven't actually seen what's going on with my life right now but in the span of mere days, I have gotten engaged, met gay parents who are apparently soon to be my in-laws, received numerous 'anonymous' threats to my life by some idiot who keeps signing the notes 'JBI,' had requests by weirdos to be best men, bridesmaids and for the love of gosh… priests at my wedding and yesterday I had to restrain myself from causing serious physical harm to our cheer competition because they got too close to you know who!"

"Well you're handling it fine aren't you, captain?"

"Dammit Santana I'm suddenly engaged to Rachel Berry! The only reason this is ok right now is because my head had a panic attack, seriously freaked out and ran off somewhere and still hasn't come back. Now tell me again, why would you bring her here? Try simple sentences, I can only take so much bullshit in one day."

"I thought your reaction would be interesting," Santana replied with a shrug.

"Damn you Santana!"

"Hold that thought and prepare your thank yous Fabray. My B has done it again and there's your bride to be."

Just at that moment, Brittany was ushering an extremely shy looking Rachel in the red McKinley cheerio uniform complete with sexy ponytail.

Satana's smirk grew wider as her captain's jaw tried to make contact with the floor.

"And damn Fabray, as far as reactions go you did not disappoint."

"I don't know what you're talking about Santana."

"Well then just to clarify I'm talking about the way you're looking like you're gonna conjure up a gust of wind out of nowhere just to strip Berry of that cheerio uniform any moment now."

"As much as Rachel… suits that uniform I can assure you that nothing of the sort is going to happen."

"You're even starting to talk like her. You are hella hot and bothered blondie, don't even try to deny it."

Quinn shut her eyes for a moment to try and calm whatever reaction was taking place inside of her only to have her moment smashed to pieces by Santana's sing-song voice.

"Think fast Romeo, here comes Juliet!"

"Hi Quinn," Rachel said nervously as she approached. "You look kinda sweaty."

"And you look great Rachel. Ah wait, I mean… yeah I was running with Santana so… I sweated. But that's not to say that I can't run. I can run. I can run for miles because I'm used to running. I have great stamina… for running I can just run forever. Wow why hasn't anybody stopped me from talking?"

The two looked back at the Latina who they thought would have interrupted with a snarky comment by that then.

"Oh don't mind me, I think Quinn can set up her own train wreck at this point."

As unexpected as it was, Quinn's savior came in the form of Sue Sylvester who was marching the rest of the cheerios onto the field.

"Alright ladies, time to get it together, show me why you're the ones I've let on this squad and consequently kept alive even through all those grueling practices. Show me why I choose to train you instead of thinking up more jokes on Will Schuester's hair!"

Quinn took her cue to stand before the other girls, making sure to not so gently nudge Santana's shoulder as she jogged away.

Sylvester caught the Latina's slight tumbled and once again turned her megaphone towards her.

" Santana don't die yet I need you as part of the pyramid. Berry, good job not looking ridiculous since I've removed your ability to choose your own clothing. Note that that ability will stay removed for the duration of this camp and should stay removed for the duration of your life. I'll allow you to argue that point with Fabray later. Now come over here while the others work."

"I'm not included in the work? Why is that? Do cheerios get solos? Coach you may or may not be aware of this but I specialize in solos so…"

"Berry just no. No to everything you have to say from now and forever. Now come here."

"Coach as a kidnapped member of this squad I would like to demand you treat me with the same gruff rudeness that you use to treat everybody else!"

"Berry just come here! You just watch. If I put you on top of the pyramid, they'll throw you off and you'll die. If I put you at the bottom of the pyramid, you'll get crushed and you'll die. My hands are tied as no deaths are allowed so get your ass over here and sit this one out."

As ordered, Rachel spent the next three hours watching the cheerios run through their routines over and over until some had actually turned green and were forced to run for the nearest bathrooms.

When Coach called for a necessary 'most of you are passed out so we can't practice the pyramid anymore' break, Rachel took the opportunity to present notes that no one had even noticed she was writing.

The girl confidently made her way in front of the dying group of girls while even their Captain and snarky co-captain were silently trying to catch their breaths.

"Well everyone, since we've found ourselves with a little down time I would like to tell you that though that wasn't bad, I believe we all need to put in a little more pep "Rachel Berry as a cheerleader? Choke me now," one of the cheerios sneered at the girl.

"Gladly," Santana replied, too tired to notice she was somewhat standing up for Rachel Berry.

"Cool off Santana, your fangs are showing," Quinn said, keeping her voice unemotional though the Latina figured the attitude mostly stemmed from the fact her protective duties were stolen from her.

Rachel, oblivious to the little exchange just continued with her rant.

" I mean if I was playing the character of a cheerleader I would definitely focus a lot more on the pep. You people look like you're just unhappily tossing unhappy bodies into the air and trying to catch them before they die. Where's your stage presence? Where's your stage faces? Where are those shining smiles?"

"Berry what in the hell do you think you're doing?"

Sue Sylvester was severely unamused. Here was a girl who had no idea about cheer, daring to assistant coach all over her cheerios!

"I'm merely acting like a cheerleader!," the girl replied easily. "I am still Rachel Berry, not a cheerleader but I am Rachel Berry, an actress… merely acting like a cheerleader. Coach? You're making that face people make when they've stopped listening to me. Should I start from the beginning and repeat myself?"

"Berry give me one good reason why I shouldn't punch you in the face right now."

"Umm… I'm underage?"

"That isn't a reason!"

"Well because I'm right! Look at them coach! They have no pep! They are supposed to be cheer leaders but they can't lead cheer because they're pepless! They have no pep how many times do I have to say it?"

At some point during her tirade, Rachel picked up a couple of pompoms lying on the stands and started shaking them around as she continued chanting about the cheerio's lack of pep drawing a scoff from Santana and a groan from Quinn.

The other cheerios merely looked, several mixed reactions emanating from the group.

"What is she doing?," some whispered.

"Berry is daring to try show us up at cheering at our cheerio camp?"

From right next to the still chanting Rachel stood a near silent Sue Sylvester. Near silent because if one listened closely they would hear the gears slowly turning in her head.

"This is genius," she whispered to herself before shouting it through her megaphone. "This is genius! Anyone would have failed and just forgone the death rule and killed Rachel Berry on sight but I, Sue Sylvester will make this work! So well it will set Will Schuester's gel dipped head on fire."

"Somebody go get the fire extinguisher quick, it's unlikely to stay confined to just Mr. Schue's head," Quinn deadpanned.

"We need to turn that attitude around Fabray, after all I'm giving your fiancée a little training in how to raise little cheerio babies starting from you yourself."

"That is some kind of kinky coach," Santana snickered to herself.

Rachel finally stopped her cheering as she heard the thud that was Quinn sitting herself on the ground. Running to the girl to check if she was alright, the brunette was merely met with a lopsided smile.

"You go ahead and do what you're doing Rach, I'm just gonna sit here, stare at the sky, and give up on the troubles of life."

A.N

Here's the next installment guys, thanks once again for reading and leaving comments as they make me feel like this is worth writing.

Hope to have more written up soon!

See you next time :)