"You've changed." It's the first phrase Alejandro has heard Gwen say; the young mother has been in a state of shock and fear since Branford had run the bone marrow tests. Alejandro had been there for Gwen, both adults saying nothing to each other, but that didn't stop him from drawing Gwen into his arms.
The two had only held each other only letting to check on Essie who lay listlessly in the hospital bed. His arms ache to press her against him again, but now that the shok has abated she can barely look at him.
"Changed how?" He isn't sure how to speak to her anymore; the easygoingness of their shared past has evaporated. Part of him wants to reach out to her, to touch her, to hold her.
But he won't. He can't. Not yet.
Maybe not ever again.
"Part of me is actually believing this pretense you're putting on. The one where you actually care about Essie. I mean, really what's you're angle. What are you going to gain by coming into my life, our lives? Alejandro… I can't deal with-"
His lips crashing down on hers effectively cut off her rant; his tongue is prying into her mouth, his hands clutching her shoulders. Gwen doesn't have time to respond, doesn't have time to squirm away or kiss him back because he has pulled away just as suddenly.
"I won't be so nice the next time you start uttering bullshit."
"All that just to shut me up."
"Si."
"You bastard, how dare you!" Gwen stands up, fire burning in her eyes and her fists clenched into fists. Alejandro too stands up and he towers over her, just as angry.
If it's a fight she wants she'll get one.
"We need to talk. Once I would have played these petty little games but too much is at stake now."
"What is there to talk about?" Gwen's voice raises with every word, her eyes flashing dangerously, causing Bridgette to poke her head in, a worried look in eye.
"You two need to go get all of this misplaced aggression out someplace else. Go for a walk. But you aren't doing this around your daughter. She needs you both."
A hand is on the curve of one of Bridgette's hips and she glares openly at the both of them. A silence stretches out, the three adults seizing each other up before a wordless Gwen stalks out of the room. A half a heartbeat later Alejandro follows her but not before muttering a soft "thank you" to the blonde.
She only shakes her head in reply, pointing to the fast disappearing figure of Gwen.
"Go."
His strides are longer than hers so it doesn't take much effort to catch up. He tries to grab one of Gwen's hands but she violently jerks away from him. They say nothing to each other as she walks them out of the hospital to an isolated park directly across.
Only then does she turn to him, her hands stuffed in her jacket pockets and an unreadable expression in her eye.
"Why are you here Alejandro?" Somehow she manages to keep her voice flat, no emotion of any kind can be perceived. He doesn't even have to take a breath; its as if this is the moment he was waiting for.
"I missed you. I wanted to right the wrongs. I wanted closure from our break up-"
"You hooked up with Heather almost immediately after we broke up."
"I did." His eyes betrayed his haughty stance. Those eyes held a mixture of regret and an emotion Gwen couldn't place.
"Why did you leave me." A cold breeze blows through them, making her shiver and wrap her arms around herself. He steps closer placing a hand under her chin effectively raising her eyes.
"I was weak. And stupid. I never once felt good enough and I was tired of competing for you. You were always playing with the other girls' emotions, always getting too close to them... You didn't address my insecurities, you didn't appreciate me; you keep our relationship under wraps. That's why I left. You used me."
"Gwen, I'm sorry-"
"You don't owe me an apology. It's nice that after ten years you finally do. But it changes nothing. It doesn't reverse the actions you committed or correct any damage."
Gwen's eyes flicker, looking at everything but him. She can't face him, not after this. Alejandro takes a step closer to her placing both hands on her shoulders, shaking her. He isn't angry; he only feels the type of tired that etches itself inside a person soul.
The type of tired a man can never forget or shake off.
"I don't know what to say to you. I could say I'm sorry but it's obviously not enough. I could yell and scream at you but that would only give you an excuse to push me out of your life again. Face the facts Gwen you pushed me out. You never gave me a chance; you never let me in far enough to look at the damage. You left me, not the other way around."
Gwen is outright shivering now, her face crumpling with every word. Alejandro sighs and slips off his jacket placing it around her shoulders.
"I didn't know I was pregnant when I left you. I tried contacting you… I called your house and emailed you and you didn't reply… Duncan found…" Gwen's eyes widened, the epiphany crashed down on her like cold water.
"He lied to me."
"Gwen…"
"Don't you dare make excuses for him. I knew it." She laughed then, a harsh grating sound coming from deep inside her. Bitterness crept into her eyes, and for a moment she looked just like her drawings.
Melancholy and so very sad…
"Gwen."
"Don't. Don't get close to me. Not now at least. If you do and I fall for you again it will be for all the wrong reasons-"
She flinches openly, her eyes downcast as he brushes cups her cheeks with his hands. She almost hears his heart breaking, but it doesn't stop him from drawing her into his arms. The familiarity of the embrace makes the tears she has been holding back break free and she presses him closer, burying her face in his neck. Her hands snake up his back and clutch the woolen fabric of his shirt tightly.
Words are unnecessary items, nothing they say to each other will make a difference but they don't let go.
Not even and Alejandro leans down to place his lips on hers, kissing her softly and sweetly. Not demanding, not hot and yet passionately.
She doesn't pull back, but kisses him back sighs softly against his lips.
As if reality is calling them back to earth, her phone rings the silence they have created but as she goes to pull away he holds her to him.
"Don't go." She hesitates, but stays in his arms. Her phone rings and rings and rings; Alejandro vaguely recognizes the song set to her ringtone.
"Last train home. Ryan Star." She nods slightly, shocked he would eve remember something as mundane as they song they shared.. It goes to voicemail and Bridgette's frantic voice can be heard.
"Gwen, come back. Branford came back and he's looking for you. You have to be here." Bridgette's voice hesitates, stopping her train of speech and Gwen hears her swallow.
"Tell Alejandro to come too."
They arrive in the hospital shortly after the phone call, Gwen practically running herself there leaving Alejandro to keep up.
He grabs her by the shoulders and spins her to face him.
"Chica, calm down. Everything is going to be fine. You have to be strong, for Essie." She smiles weakly at him and turns her head, staring at the whitewashed walls of the hospital.
"I don't have that kind of faith anymore Alejandro."
She pulls away, walking to Essie's door. She inhales slowly, trying to calm herself.
Everything is going to be okay. Essie is strong. Am strong. Everything is going to be okay.
Brandford is sitting by Essie's beside table his arms crossed. His shaggy pitch black hair is covering his ice blue eyes, his body language screams exhaustion. He hears Gwen's footsteps and instantly stands up, staring directly at her.
"Ms. Brooke."
"Please, call me Gwen." The somber look in his eyes deepens and he gestures for Gwen to step outside with him.
"My name is John. John Branford."
A look of confusion flits across Gwen's face before realization sets in.
'I asked you you're name. Why now John?"
"I'm so sorry Gwen."
Ice knots in her stomach, and all at once the world crashes down on her shoulders. Her vision is blurry, but she won't cry.
Everything is going to be okay… Like Alejandro said…
"The test results came back in. Your daughter… She's been diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia."