The Greatest Secret
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own iCarly
A/N: This story details what it would be like if Sam and Freddie were secretly together during the series. Read it, I'm sure you'll enjoy it.
Chapter 69 (Comfort and Support)
Jonah and Valerie drove Sam and Freddie home then walked with them to the apartment. They had made note of the way Sam was walking before and put that with their friends' poor mood, so this got them wondering why their friends were acting in such a way, they were coming up with several possibilities.
When the group entered the apartment, they found Emily folding up bed sheets. These weren't just any bed sheets, though. These were the same sheets from the bed that Sam and Freddie had made love on. They gulped and Emily turned her head toward them. Jonah closed the door behind him and looked to his friends. They were all a bit concerned. Sam and Freddie turned their heads toward the ground, shamefully. They knew they had to talk to Emily, so this fact scared them.
"What is the matter, you two?" Emily asked as she set the remaining bed sheet on the coffee table. She had washed them and replaced Sam's sheets with some new, fresh ones. Upon cleaning the sheets, she found some things that seemed suspicious and had been wondering if Sam and Freddie had intercourse. She was a little sad, since they had wanted so much to wait till they were a little older for their first time, but she really didn't have any major problems with what occurred. She definitely wasn't angry with them. After all, she couldn't be angry at them. They didn't do anything wrong at all, they only committed an act that occurs, and should only occur between two people who love each other very much.
Jonah and Valerie didn't have to leave, and no one was going to ask them to. Sam, Freddie, Jonah, and Valerie could always talk about anything. They had always spoken of that tempting desire to make love and how they could defend against that temptation. It wasn't wrong though, and that's what they would tell their friends if they needed to. Though, Emily knew more about it than anyone else, she could see that Sam and Freddie were feeling bad about what they had done; they looked guilty. She also knew they must be feeling confused. She was when she had her first time.
"Have a seat." Emily closed her eyes and smiled as the four teens sat on the couch. Valerie sat on Sam's side while Jonah sat on Freddie's side. They figured they should comfort their respective friends. Emily turned to Sam and Freddie; she didn't want to appear angry with them. She wasn't mad at all, so it would be bad if she came across as mad. "So, how was the triple date?"
"It was…interesting to say the least," Freddie said with a quiet voice. He had to admit, it was fun seeing Sam get all riled up and making Rueben cry and flee the restaurant. "Sam made Rueben cry." Emily chuckled and Valerie gave her friend a smirk. She found it funny that Sam would make Rueben cry, even if she was most likely in a bad mood at the time. "Gibby danced on the table and things grew weirder from there." Carly had actually called Spencer and offered to take Sam and Freddie home, but the two hadn't felt up to doing that and said they were going to get their moms to pick them up.
"Gibby's a freak," Sam stated with a small smile. Freddie nodded in agreement and slowly took her hand in his. She closed her eyes and slowly breathed out upon contact. Emily sat down in a chair and gave them a small smile. She wasn't going to force them to tell her what they did together, but she could try to coax them into telling her. Her eyes drifted to the blankets and then back to Sam and Freddie.
"You two know you can come to me about anything, right?" Emily asked with a careful tone in her voice. Sam and Freddie nodded in agreement. They could acknowledge that Emily was experienced and had probably been in their very position before. Emily smiled and leaned back in the chair. "Good, I'm glad. I just wanted you to know that. You know, in case anything came up in the future that I would ever need to know about. Oh!" Emily pointed to the sheets and lowered her arms. "Sam, I put some fresh sheets on your bed, I figured it was time to wash the laundry and felt I should perhaps clean your sheets. I haven't gotten to Freddie's quite yet."
"Yeah, you can also talk to us about anything as well," Jonah said as he patted Freddie on the shoulder. Valerie nodded her head and smiled at Sam. It was a comforting smile, one that made Sam feel like they probably wouldn't be in any major trouble for having sex. Whether she wanted to call it sex or the art of making love, she wasn't sure. She knew that to say making love, that's what you did with someone you loved completely, and she did love Freddie with all her heart.
"Mom, something's bothering me that I really need to talk about." Sam said while closing her hands on her legs.
"What are you concerned about, sweetie?" Sam looked to Freddie and he gave her a nod, telling her that they should tell them. He too was conflicted. Sam closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
"First, what's the difference between making love and having sex?" Emily blinked while Jonah and Valerie stared at Sam with arched eyebrows. It was not an invalid question at all, so she figured she'd answer.
"Well I guess there's a little difference in the way people look at it." Emily rubbed her chin and gave a single, brief nod. She felt there was a difference between the two, that sex wasn't as true and meaningful as making love. "Sex could refer to an act of intercourse between two people who don't necessarily love each other. It's willing intercourse. Things like prostitution: that's sex. Making love is deeper and more meaningful. It's an act of intercourse between two willing people that love each other very much. Does that make sense?" Sam nodded her head and felt a tear trying to escape her eye. "So, why the interest in sexual activity?"
"Because…Freddie and I made love for the first time…" Emily raised her eyebrow as the two friends looked toward their friends with a caring look. "I'm very confused. Freddie and I wanted to wait until we were older before we had our first time, we had been doing so well with not falling to temptation and not making love! I feel so disappointed in myself, I gave in to desire…" Sam frowned and looked toward the floor. "I hope you guys aren't disappointed in me, or mad…"
"Aw, Sam," Valerie said as she gave Sam a hug. Sam closed her eyes and Valerie kept a hug on her friend. "You're our best friends, for one thing. I'm not disappointed. Jonah wouldn't be, either." Jonah smiled and nodded his head as he patted Freddie on the back.
"Believe me, the temptation is hard to resist," Jonah said with a slight smirk. Valerie shot him a look and raised her eyebrow, which caused him to deepen his smirk at her. It was true, the temptation was hard to resist. Even for them, though they never had made love.
"And have you two fallen to the temptation?" Freddie asked while narrowing his eyes. Jonah and Valerie both shook their heads and Emily let out a small sigh.
"Do keep in mind, all couples have trouble with this," Emily stated. "Why, I'm sure even Jonah and Valerie have had some difficulty with the temptation and desire."
"Yeah, that's true," Jonah replied. Valerie nodded her head in response and Jonah leaned back slightly. Sam and Freddie looked at them with slight shock; they hadn't expected their friends to ever have trouble with temptation. "The desire is there, it always is. Like you, we've nearly given in to that desire several times."
"Yeah, but we keep in mind that we're not ready to handle the possible consequences," Valerie stated with a calm voice. "That's not saying that you two are or that you two aren't, though." Sam and Freddie were going to marry; they were going to stay together. Emily smiled and looked at Sam and Freddie with kind eyes. She understood their conflict, especially since it had happened with her when she made love to Robert the first time.
"Do remember that the art of making love is symbolic, You have two people, preferably two people who are very much in love. When they make love, it's like their hearts, their souls, their bodies combine together to form one body…To make love means to give yourself to that other person. You become one with that person. I want you two to realize there is nothing wrong with this…okay?"
"There isn't anything wrong with it?" Sam asked while raising her eyebrow. "I mean…we're young…what if I'm pregnant?"
"We will cross that bridge when we come to it, Sam. However, in the future, birth control pills would be helpful for you." Sam and Freddie both blushed and Emily set the putty on the desk. "There is nothing wrong with two people who love each other very much to make love. It is sometimes best to wait until you are older, though. Typically it's preferred that you wait until marriage; however, there are some people, like myself, who do believe that if you truly love one another and know you will never stray from each other, you are married in God's eyes."
"It would be bad to make love and stray from the person…" Emily rubbed her chin and tried to think of a way that might help them out.
"You know how it is in movies you see where people have their bodies torn apart? You know how it feels?"
"Yeah, it looks rather painful…"
"It is…and when you make love, you give your heart to the other person, basically. You basically become one person, and when you separate…it hurts like hell. As you should know, making love is, as I said, a very meaningful and sacred act. It should never be done unless you're sure you truly love that person." Emily closed her eyes and slowly exhaled, she could remember what happened between her and Robert. She loved him then, and she still loved him. Yes, it was very painful when they separated. "So when you ask me if it's a bad thing…I say it isn't."
"We wanted to wait," Freddie said in a quiet voice as he turned his head downward. "We weren't ready to do this…and we gave in. The moment, the timing, everything…it was just too hard…"
"Freddie, Sam, I have a question for you." Sam and Freddie looked to Emily as she moved back to the chair and sat down. "You made love, how did it feel?" Jonah and Valerie both looked to their friends, interested to hear what they had to say and see if they could put any input whatsoever. "Think about it." She knew it was a personal question, but it was an important one nonetheless.
"It felt…" Freddie thought about the experience. He remembered vividly everything about it; as did Sam. Freddie remembered gazing into Sam's eyes and slowly brushing her hair from her blushing face. He remembered caressing her, holding her, cherishing her as one would a beautiful work of art. So fragile, so innocent, he felt he had to be as gentle as possible with her. Sam remembered well Freddie's gentle touch on her skin and the way he made her feel so warm. If she had to say anything at all, she would have to say whenever he gazed into her eyes during the intercourse, she felt like she was looking into love. "Amazing…wonderful…"
"She was as beautiful as she always was…no, more beautiful. I love her. She's beautiful on the inside and she's beautiful on the outside…" Everyone leaned back and listened as Freddie spoke his words, it was best to just listen during this time. "Her eyes held nothing but the love and softness that I know she holds in her heart for me. During this, I felt for sure that she was the one and only person for me. I felt like there was no alternative, and I would never even want another alternative. Sam's the greatest thing that ever happened to me, and I love her more than anything. If anything, the act of making love just made me not only realize how much I love her, but made me fall even deeper into love with her."
"I didn't even think about anything other than what we were doing at that moment," Sam said while keeping her eyes closed. She wanted to keep the memory in her head so she could treasure it forever. Such as the way he held her in her arms and the way he gently caressed her body. She felt protected, safe. To her, it felt that she was in a pair of strong arms that would never let her fall into danger. The feeling of whenever she looked into his eyes, she felt loved. It was as though he was looking at her with nothing but pure love. "I felt like there was nothing but a strong bond, a strong connection, strong love between us…" Emily smiled and nodded her head. Valerie looked like she was having an 'aw' moment while Jonah remained silent and smiled at his friends. Jonah and Valerie, in truth, couldn't be happier for their friends, knowing that the experience was good for them.
"A lot of people make love for the first time and they feel absolutely nothing," Emily said as she placed her arms on the armrest of her chair. Sam and Freddie looked to her with raised eyebrows; they were interested in how people could feel nothing. "Typically that's actually what's called first sex. A lot of people have sex or make love for the first time, but it sometimes tends to be an experiment, or just with someone they couldn't care less about. A lot of times it's with someone who, in the end, breaks apart from them and tears a huge hole in their heart." Sam and Freddie both clearly knew that wasn't the case for them.
"Now then, tell me…even though you know you can't, if you could, would you ever stray from each other? Would you ever hurt each other?"
"Never!" Freddie called out. How could he do that to Sam? He loved her with all of his heart and soul, there was no way on earth that he could ever, ever hurt her or leave her. "I would never do that to Sam! I love her! Heart, soul, and body! She's the sweetest, most precious, gentlest woman ever, and for me to do that…for me to be the person that might make her cry…I can't even fathom doing it! I would sooner die than to crush her heart!" Sam looked at Freddie with wide eyes, her lips formed a soft smile and she gently kissed his cheek in response. Believe it or not, his response seemed to warm her heart. Freddie blushed slightly at the kiss and smiled as Sam turned to Emily.
"I would never do anything to hurt Freddie, I love him so much," Sam replied. Emily, Jonah, and Valerie could definitely see the love that these two had for one another. If anything, their relationship was probably on a deeper, much more profound level as of this very night. Sam couldn't imagine herself hurting Freddie, she would probably hate herself for ever doing such a deed to him. "Freddie's my fiancé, my lover, my husband, and I cherish him more than anything. Even if I could leave him, I wouldn't do it."
"I'm glad that you two feel this way about each other," Emily said with a proud smile. She honestly couldn't be prouder of the two, they had definitely grown so much from when they were younger. "It tells me a lot, and means a lot to the other person. Keep in mind, these things you can remind each other of in many ways. That's another thing, love making is often a very important aspect of a relationship. Often, it is something that reminds your lover just how important they are to you. With all that you have told me, would you still feel guilty over what you had done? Was it a mistake?" Emily raised her eyebrows as the young couple looked toward each other. She hoped they would choose the right answers for this. It was never a mistake, it should never be, and saying it was a mistake was like saying the other person was. Freddie and Sam slowly looked to Emily and exhaled. They knew they shouldn't feel guilty, not over something that was so sacred to them.
"No," Freddie replied. Sam looked at him and a tiny smile appeared at her lips. "No, it's not a mistake. It's not a bad thing. I love Sam, I will always love her. From what I think you said, mom…making love is like telling the other person how much you truly love them, and I love Sam more than anything. It's not a mistake, Mom." Emily gave a tilted nod of her head and smiled, that was definitely a good answer in her book. After all, if he'd said it was a mistake, then just what would Sam think about it?
"I don't think it was wrong," Sam replied. She was smiling at Freddie, tears were coming from her eyes. Jonah and Valerie were there to give support, Emily was giving her experienced advice. She loved it, the whole moment was something she would always cherish. "How could it be a mistake? How could something so great, shared with the only one good enough for me, ever be considered a mistake? It's like saying this whole relationship was a mistake to begin with…"
"And was it?" Emily asked as she crossed her arms. This was another of those important questions, of course, they were all important questions. Emily was simply trying to get Sam and Freddie to realize that they had nothing to worry about, that they had done nothing wrong at all. "Was I wrong in my selection? Is your relationship a mistake?" She knew what their answers would be, but she wanted to make sure that they knew what each other's answers were. It didn't take them long to figure out the answers though.
"No, mom," Freddie responded. He stood up and pulled Sam up with him, pulling her into a hug. Emily, Jonah and Valerie all smiled at the sight. Valerie was actually sighing at the sight, there was just something she found beautiful about it all. Jonah raised his eyebrow and stared at his girlfriend, he had to admit, he thought Valerie was just too cute tonight. "Sam could never be a mistake, she could never be wrong for me."
"I think Freddie is the one for me. I'm not going to worry about this anymore. What we did wasn't wrong. It was unexpected, yes, but it wasn't wrong. It wasn't a mistake." Emily closed her eyes and smiled happily. She stood up and hugged the two teens.
"I'm proud of you two," Emily said with a soft voice. Sam and Freddie smiled at her and Emily took a step back. She had a tear in her eye, perhaps because she was so extremely thrilled for them. "You two are maturing well. Just remember, you're still young, so I don't want you two to be performing any of these bedroom acts for a while. We don't want Tyrone finding Sam pregnant with your child, Freddie."
"I'd fight him for her," Freddie said through clenched teeth. Emily raised her eyebrows and Jonah chuckled, they knew Freddie well enough to know that he would definitely fight the old man if he tried to take Sam away.
"Yes, well…I'm still a bit young to be a grandmother anyway, and you're a bit young to have a child. I want you two to wait until you're older, and then start investing in birth control items." Freddie and Sam nodded their heads and smiled at their elder. Jonah stood up and placed his hand on Freddie's shoulder.
"Freddie, are you feeling better now?" Jonah asked with a small smile. Freddie gave a nod and Jonah patted him on the shoulder. "Good. Perhaps you'd like to head to the gym and hit the punching bag around? Sure it's late, but it'll relieve any possible tension that you still have."
"Yeah, that sounds fine to me, Jonah…" Sam smiled and Valerie stepped beside her.
"Hey Sam, if you want, you and I can bake a cake and have it out when the boys get back," Valerie suggested. Sure, she'd take any opportunity to cook, as much as she loved cooking. She also enjoyed getting Sam to cook with her. Sam gave a nod and hugged her friend, thankful for Valerie supporting her and being there for the discussion.
"I'd love to do that," Sam stated. She turned to Freddie and hugged him. "Stay safe, Freddie, and we'll talk more when you get back."
"Sure thing, love," Freddie replied as he gently kissed her forehead. Sam grinned and watched as Freddie and Jonah left the apartment. Both felt much better after having the discussion, and they knew where everyone stood on the issue. Sam and Freddie were going to try their best to obey Emily's wishes and wait until they were older, but at least they knew that they didn't need to feel guilty or ashamed in the least about what they had done. Nobody was disappointed in them, and they didn't have to be disappointed in themselves either. Now that they felt more comfortable about it, they both would always cherish their first time with each other.
Ugh, just woke up a few moments ago...really not feeling well today. Anyway, I hope you liked this. Emily seems pretty smart, eh. Jonah and Valerie are also good to be there for their friends.