So I thought I'd clear this up, because I've read through the story and I realise the AU I've done may be a bit confusing as I haven't really explained this. So in this story, Blaine begins dating Kurt before Dave kisses him. This is set just after Dave kisses him. Kurt doesn't go to Dalton, as Dave doesn't threaten to kill him. So yeah, it's like Dave kissing him has been moved a few episodes so that everything has happened up to a while after Kurt and Blaine have began dating. I hope this clears it up because I've recognised how confusing it could be if you don't know what's happening. Sorry about that, probably should have explained at the beginning! Anyway, I hope you're enjoying and thank you for all of the alerts and reviews I've been receiving. I will also be working on my other story after maybe another chapter or two of this because I've been bubbling with ideas. Thanks for reading :D (and sorry for my extremely long author's note)
Dave had been thinking of his conversation with Kurt all night. He had thought that Kurt wouldn't have wanted to talk to him after what he said about his feelings for Kurt, he had thought that perhaps Kurt would have been horrified that Dave felt those things.
But Kurt had offered to be there to talk to Dave, and now Dave was ecstatic. He was also worried.
He seemed to have a case of 'Foot-In-Mouth Syndrome', and never seemed to think about what he said around Kurt. What if he accidentally let something slip something that he hadn't wanted Kurt to know. Kurt probably wouldn't judge him, but he might feel a bit more awkward around him.
Dave had decided that he would take Kurt up on his offer anyway. Who else did he have to talk to about this stuff? And any time spent talking to Kurt was definitely not time wasted.
He averted his eyes from his television and typed out a text quickly.
To Fancy: Your offer still stand? I don't mind if you want to back out now.
He was surprised at how fast Kurt replied.
From Fancy: Of course not. You want to talk?
To Fancy: Y'know I've never talked about this?
From Fancy: Well there's a first time for everything.
To Fancy: Tell me about you.
From Fancy: Me?
To Fancy: Yeah. When did you know? For sure.
From Fancy: It's more of a case of when did I realise I wasn't the same. I mean it's not difficult to see I'm different. I think there's a picture of me next to the definition of 'stereotypical gay'.
To Fancy: Hilarious, Fancy.
From Fancy: Oh, Fancy?
To Fancy: Yeah it suits you.
From Fancy: Not quite sure what to make of that.
Dave found it hard to believe that he was having a conversation with Kurt. A normal conversation. Well, not exactly normal, but as normal as it got between those two.
To Fancy: Take it as you're so good that only the most lucky people in the world get you.
And Dave just made it weird again. Foot in the fucking mouth!
From Fancy: Oh, please. You're too kind.
To Fancy: I try.
From Fancy: Hey, did you want to meet up for coffee? We could talk face to face then.
To Fancy: Sure, when/where?
From Fancy: The Lima Bean, half 4.
To Fancy: Okay see you then.
Wow. Dave was meeting Kurt for coffee. Okay so it wasn't like it was a date or anything, nothing for Dave to be excited about. Besides, Kurt had a boyfriend. It wasn't like he'd leave the Bland guy for Dave or anything. Who was he kidding? He had no chance!
But he would still meet Kurt for coffee. If all Kurt wanted to be was his friend, then he would his friend. If he only wanted him as someone to vent to, Dave would be there. Basically, Dave was going to be whatever Kurt wanted him to be. Meeting for coffee just meant that Kurt probably wanted to make things clear, see what he was handling with Dave. That was all.
Dave was happy. He was going to talk to someone for the first time. He had never even said those two words. Those two dreaded words that he'd been so close to saying so many times before.
I'm gay.
Dave couldn't even say them to himself, so now not only admitting it but talking deeper into it was going to be difficult. He hoped Kurt would be patient with him and realise there were things he wasn't quite comfortable discussing. For instance, he was not ready to discuss coming out in anyway, shape or form. Only 2 people knew. Kurt and Blaine. He was planning on keeping it that way. At least for a while anyway.
Kurt wouldn't pressure him into changing that. He wouldn't force him to do so. But he knew that he would ease him through it if he wanted to.
Kurt had been right. Dave wasn't self accepting. More like self loathing. He'd been taught to hate himself. By his classmates, team-mates, his family. He'd been taught that if you call someone gay then it's an insult. It meant you were weak. If you got bashed to the floor in football and lay groaning in pain, you were acting like a fag. It meant you were scared. If you didn't do something like throw a slushy in someone's face or punch a kid then you were a homo.
Dave knew this wasn't true. He knew Kurt was all but weak. He knew Kurt was brave and strong, granted not in the sort of way that meant he could take a guy down, but he faced the bullies and didn't run or hide. In embraced what and who he was and didn't change it.
But Dave was the exactly what he'd been taught. He was weak and scared. The time between kissing Kurt and Kurt confronting him had been the most terrifying time of his life. He was on edge, scared that someone knew, that Kurt had spread it around or told all his friend. We jumped every time someone called his name, waiting for the insults to begin. And he was weak. He didn't even admit to himself who he was, let alone anybody else. He allowed himself to be told who he was and what he must think and feel. He was too weak to tell people who he was.
But he didn't have to any more. Granted, he wasn't going to tell everyone who he was, what he wanted for himself and who he planned to be; he wasn't ready for everyone to know. He could tell Kurt though. Kurt knew he was weak and scared, he was vulnerable to Kurt. He was going to help him though. Kurt was going to ease him into being happy with who he was, and Dave for one could not wait.