I realize that it has been quite awhile since I have updated this story. I did get quite side tracked and then whenever I came back, I found it too difficult to actually concentrate on a actual story line.

I do appreciate all of the comments, and all of the people who subscribed to this story. This is dedicated to you, with a special thanks to my most recent commentator's for giving me a kick in the butt

Evee

Rachel's POV:

It was hard to say whether or not she actually hated Santana, it was such a strong word and she tried very hard not to put so much energy into somebody who liked to torment her. Why should Santana be any different than the jocks who threw slushies in her face, those she could always shrug off, because she knew that she was better than them. Santana was nothing more than a bully, and she knew that while she rose above this small town and became the star she was born to be, the brunette cheerleader was more likely to be stuck in this small town for the rest of her life. This thought brought a smile to Rachel's damp face, although she felt somewhat guilty for feeling that way.

Part of the reason Santana's snide comments got to her was because of the fact that they were in the same group. Glee should have been the one place that any of them could go to and know that they had shoulders to cry on and friends to listen.

She sighed as her phone vibrated once again, indicating that she had another phone call. It had been like this since she walked out of Glee earlier that day. She definitely wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody right now, especially about what had happened. Lifting the phone, she waited for it to quit vibrating before flipping it open and holding down the power button, until she heard that familiar jingle confirming that it had been turned off. At least she wouldn't have to worry about any more phone calls for tonight.

She felt so deflated, as if Santana's words had been enough to take all that confidence out of her, well, maybe they had, she reasoned. Remembering the things that had been said, she found it difficult to retaliate. She knew what people said behind her back, and how her fellow glee-mates really felt about her, but still, it was easier to ignore when she still had that possible doubt in the back of her mind. There was no doubt now, she was hated, too annoying to hold onto any friends, and her clothes. She glanced down to the sweater vest she had worn to school that day with a skirt and knee high socks. She tried dressing differently before, remembering the make-over that Kurt had given her, it definitely had not worked out but maybe it was time to do something different with herself, but what?

She glanced towards the mirror, running her fingers through her hair, trying to imagine herself wearing something different when there was a knock on her bedroom door, causing her to jump slightly as she whirled around. "Rachel?" Finn's voice was full of worry, but she simply couldn't look at him right now, turning back around and her eyes falling to the ground, she didn't respond, and she really didn't want him to see her like this, feeling deflated and is if the whole world had just fallen down on top of her. She could hear his footsteps as he crossed the room and took his spot behind her "Rachel, look at me.." he coaxed gently, but Rachel just shook her head. "No.. I don't want anybody to see me like this." she explained.

"See you like this?" came Finn's voice, sounding as if she had just been talking crazy "Rachel, you can't take what Santana says personally. You know what she's like." How could he just shrug something like this off so easily, she wondered as she finally turned to face him "I can take what she says personal, and I do. Don't act like you've never heard other people say those things before" she said, turning her big brown eyes up to his. He blinked a couple of times and then sighed, his own eyes falling slightly "yes.. Other people have said those things, but it's never bothered you before. You always find a way to outshine them Rachel. It's one of the things that I love about you."

She glanced away at his words, closing her eyes "it's one thing knowing that people you don't care about say some mean things about you, because it's easy to imagine yourself being better than them. It's something else when the only people you think you can count on are saying the same things" tears began to sneak their way through her closed eyes, though she tried to ignore it. "Since when has Santana ever been somebody you could count on?" Finn asked, in clear disbelief "I love you, you can count on me, always Rachel." His words were spoken so softly as he reached forward and gently tilted her face back towards him, using his other hand to wipe away her tears. She gazed back for a minute before continuing "it's not just Santana, it's everybody.. Mercedes, Puck, Quinn.. You.." she finished, glancing back up into his eyes "there are things you don't love about me.. Are those the same things that Santana mentioned?"

Finn blinked a few times, clearly trying to think of what to say next "I do love you" he stated again, under her gaze "but.. Well, I mean.. sometimes you say things that might be considered a little selfish and.. that tends to rub people the wrong way. I don't agree with everything that Santana said.." he found he couldn't meet Rachel in the eye, he could feel that she had gone perfectly still under his touch. "I don't understand Finn.. You don't agree with everything that she said, does that mean you agree with some of it?" Finn's face was turning the slightest shade of red "well you have a few annoying tendencies that people tend to notice.." he admitted.

Rachel pulled away from his grip at once, looking as if he had just slapped her across the face. "Rachel, come on, don't take it that way.. I told you that I love you, and I want to be honest with you. What Santana did today was wrong, but you know that some of the things you say and do are considered a bit annoying.." he reasoned with her, trying desperately to explain himself, to change that look on her face. "I know that everybody has their opinions of me, and sometimes they don't all agree with what I say or do.. But that's who I am, Finn. I always thought no matter what I said or did, I'd have at least one person on my side, willing to stand up for me. I guess I was wrong.. Please, leave" she said, looking away again. Finn took a step forward, pleading in his voice "Wait, Rachel I'm sorry I.." but she didn't look up towards him, interrupting him "go.." she said, almost in a whisper, and turning her back on him. She could feel him standing there for another minute staring at her before his footsteps could be heard. There was a pause, then she heard the loud clunk of him punching the door and leaving the room. She flinched at the moment of rage, but otherwise she didn't move, opening her eyes she found herself standing in front of the mirror again. Annoying, she thought to herself, remembering back to times that more than one of her fellow glee club members had mentioned this. It had never bothered her before, she knew that some of her tactics could be a bit abrasive. Finn hadn't told her anything that she didn't already know, but hearing it from him, and realizing that he, to some point, agreed with it was heart breaking.

Her eyes were sparkling with the threat of fresh tears at the realization of what had just happened, she was angry with herself, she was also angry with Finn. She needed to get out of the house. She snatched her phone off of the bed and turned it on, she had only just found Kurt's number when the phone began to buzz.

The surprise caused her to drop the phone, watching as it landed on the bed. The ID flashed across the screen, it was a blocked number. It took her a moment to remember the conversation that she had had with Jessie earlier that day in the hall. She hadn't had the intention of answering the phone earlier that day, but in light of the current situation, she found herself reaching for the phone. Somewhere in the back of her head came the promise that she had made to Finn about not talking to the person who had called from the blocked phone number, but a moment of spite ran across her and she pressed the talk button in a somewhat determined fashion. "Jessie?"

Author's Notes:

I apologize if this chapter is a little choppy, I'm a little out of practice, but I promise better stuff will be coming up soon. I'm going to try and update my stories at least once a week from now on!