A/N: I would like to give the biggest thanks ever to nene82743, Whitetail24, PinkVeeBerry, lovesong101, GByrd, Puckabrina Alee, PerfectTwo, and XXWhispersInTheDarkXX. Your guy's reviews mean a lot and always help me feel better after a long day. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series.

I thrusted the letter back at Quil, "I don't want it."

He refused to take the envelope, shaking his head. "It's your letter Jay; don't you want to at least see what it says?"

"No. And if you don't take it back and dispose of it somehow I will rip it up and put it down my garbage disposal."

He crosses his arms and raised an eyebrow at me, "Then what's the point of making me do the dirty work if you're going to anyways?"

I aimed a kick at his leg and he lithely stepped out of the way to dodge it. I groaned and spun around taking the letter and stomped my way over to my bedroom and threw it in my dresser, promising myself I'd throw it away later.

"You don't want to read it?" Quil asked lightly standing behind me.

"Gee Quil; I wonder what the answer is to that question? Hmm?" I said sarcastically flopping down on my bed letting out a huge sigh.

He laid down next to me, just staring at the ceiling making the silence more comfortable.

A part of me really wondered what the letter said but it's been so long, the other part of me refused to allow that negativity back into my life.

He probably wanted something from me.

All of a sudden Quil popped up on the bed so he was sitting up, I scrunched my eyebrows at him and saw a huge smirk on his face. "Don't worry Jake; it's exactly what it looks like."

"Oh my fucking god," I groaned sitting up. "I am seriously debating stripping you of your best friend title."

"I don't know about title but you sure can strip me out of something else."

Jacob growled, "I will fucking strip you of something if you don't shut the fuck up."

I smirked to myself. As annoying as Quil was, it was cool seeing Jacob get all protective, call me a girl but it was hot.

"Let's play nice in the sandbox," I muttered sending my gaze to Quil as I stood up and walked over to Jacob wrapping my arms around him.

Jacob looked down at me and smiled and I grinned back. "It's time to get your butt kicked."

"Can I kick Quil's first?" He said and I could hear the undertone of a growl in his voice.

I shook my head and stood up on my tip toes pecking him on the lips. "I'd rather not, just give him extra patrol or something."

"Hey!"

"Get off her bed," Jacob snarled and I laughed stepping away from Jacob for breathing room.

XXXX

"Say it."

"No," Jacob said stubbornly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Jacob," I pouted, "You have to say it!"

"There is nothing binding me too."

I rolled my eyes and pushed away from him, what was up with men's pride? "I swear if you don't say it I will never touch you again."

I just saw Jacob smirk and he took a step closer to me and I had to remind myself to breathe. "Never?" He whispered.

"You are so doing that on purpose," I said narrowing my eyes at him.

He chuckled and ran his hands up and down my arms, "But you said never."

"Jacob," I whined, refusing to look in his eyes. "Just say it."

"Fine," He pouted, still stroking my arms. "You were right; you are the boss at go karts."

"And?"

He sighed and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a hug. "And I promise to let you drive the Rabbit."

I smiled hugely, "Success."

"I just don't understand how you beat me, me of all people. I mean, I am practically a genius with cars," he groaned.

I rolled my eyes and smirked. "You're the mechanic babe, I drive. That's why we're perfect together; we're like our own mini NASCAR pit crew."

He moaned and shook his head and I looked up at him, an innocent look on my face. "Please, don't say that ever again."

I chuckled and nodded, "Since I feel bad that I beat your ass so thoroughly."

I heard him growl playfully and he picked me up, swinging me around in his arms and setting me on the hood of my car. "Would you like to rephrase that?" He whispered in my ear and I shuddered.

"No," I whispered back.

"Wrong answer," He growled kissing across my jaw.

"Jacob," I sighed.

"Mhm?" I felt his lips met mine and it took all my self-control not to dive into the kiss.

"There's people watching us," I said firmly, lightly pushing against his chest.

I heard him sigh and he stood up, helping me off the car, "You just don't want any other girls checking me out, huh?"

I rolled my eyes even more dramatically than I normally do and saw the cocky smirk on his eyes, "Really Jacob?"

"It's okay to be jealous Jay, I only want you," He chuckled.

"Like I said earlier, never touching you again," I snarled getting into the driver's seat.

"Okay," he said not believing me.

I didn't believe myself on that one either.

XXXX

I paced around my bed room Sunday morning staring at my dresser. Jacob had stayed late last night, just to hang out and cuddle, successfully taking my mind off the letter. But once he left, I got barely any sleep; all I could think about was what it said.

I sat down on my bed and put my hands in my head. "Think Jaelyn, think," I muttered to myself.

I didn't want to ask Jacob, he had an interview at a car shop today in Forks and he was nervous about it, despite what he said.

I didn't know if I could ask Sam, I know he had a lot of resentment towards him just as much as I did and two angry abandoned children didn't always equal the best answer.

I stood up and grabbed the letter out of my drawer and practically ran to my car. I put the letter on the dashboard and rolled my window down, despite it being the middle of November. Honestly, there was a part of me hoping it'd blow out of the window and I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore.

When I reached where I wanted to go and saw that the envelope was still on the dashboard I rested my head against the steering wheel, taking a deep breath. I snatched the letter off the dashboard and quietly climbed out of car and saw Alyson sitting on the front porch, softly humming while she was bent over working on something.

I walked up the stairs and stood on the top one watching her and saw what she was bent over earlier was a blanket she was knitting.

"Hey Alyson," I said softly as I walked over to her and sat down on the porch against the railing.

"Hey Jaelyn! Oh what a surprise, you don't have to sit down on the porch, I can bring out a chair for you," She said already standing up.

"No, no," I said smiling resting a hand on her arm. "I'm fine, honestly. No worries."

She gave me a look before she sat back down in her chair. "The instant you feel uncomfortable you are to tell me, understood?"

I chuckled and nodded, "I will."

She smiled greatly and nodded her head, "But if you are anything like Sam I know you'd rather leave in pain than think you're upsetting me." I smiled wryly and just looked away, knowing she was right. "So what brought you back so soon? Could it be anything with what Emily told me?"

I narrowed my eyes, "What did Emily tell you?"

"Oh child, rest. She told me that she received a letter at the house for you. She really is worried about not only Sam, but you too. She wanted some guidance, but it is your mail after all. Not much she can do."

"What do you think I should do?" I asked quietly staring down at the letter.

"What do you want?"

"What do I want?" I asked confused.

She nodded. "What do you want from the letter? If you open it wanting an apology, I doubt you'll find one. If you open it wanting an explanation, I don't think you'll be getting one of those. If you open the letter wanting to know nothing more than what it contains, that's what you'll find."

"What if I want all of those things?" I whispered. "But at the same time want nothing to do in association with him and just let it be?"

"You have to choose one or the other. I'm pretty sure you already know you can't always get what you want."

"Would it be wrong for me to open it without Sam?"

"It's your letter Jaelyn, no one is going to fault you for what you do with it," She said kindly and I looked up and met her dark eyes.

"Can you open it for me?" I asked earning a big chuckle from her.

"Honey, as tempted as I am to know what it says, I can't do that. Joshua affected many lives around us, whether directly or not. Personally, whatever is in that letter, I wish he hadn't sent it at all. It is not right for him to abandon many lives here; particularly you and Sam to one day just barge into it." I saw her take a deep breath and I began to understand it affected her as much as me. "What confuses me is how he knows you are on the reservation? I'm sure with new technology and such; you can find those things out no problem but even if he did find out, why send it to Sam's house looking for you. As bad as it seems I just can't shake the feeling that he's trying to make things difficult for everyone."

I didn't even think that, I just stared down at the envelope and stood up. "Thank you Alyson, I really appreciate you trying to help."

"Any time, if you want to talk anymore you can always stop by. Are you sure you don't want to stay for supper?"

"I'm sure. I've made up my mind and I've got to do this now before I chicken out like a wimp."

I heard her laugh again and let a small smile settle on my lips. "I'll stop by again sometime or something." I leaned down and hugged her so she didn't have to get up from her seat.

"Tell me how it goes," She whispered and I just nodded and headed towards my car. I drove home and made my way back to my bedroom. I opened the drawer on the stand next to my bed and grabbed the lighter I used to light my candles and walked into the bathroom. I stood over the sink and lit the lighter and held the flame to one side of the envelope and watched as the flame quickly engulfed the letter. Before it could burn my fingers I dropped it in the sink and once it was completely burned up, I turned on the faucet, dousing the ashes and any remaining flames.

I was not going to allow Joshua back into my life.

A/N: Jay burned the letter, but will there be more? Maybe some reviews will help me make up my mind. ;)