Sometimes it is easier to dream than to live a reality.
She follows him the stairs down from the roof and they take the back way towards the changing room where they grab their bags, then they make their way to Alex' car. As soon as they meet other people, who start gossiping as soon as they see Meredith, she seems reluctant to keep walking. Therefore he takes her hand, a sign, that he is with her, come what may.
Without words they have come to an understanding, Alex is moving back home, into the frat house, Derek always hated. On their way they decide to get Tequila and order Pizza, they want one night, one night like they had as interns without these problems they have now. Just one carefree night, forgetting that it is Jackson, April and Lexie living with them instead of George and Izzie. One night imaging that George and Izzie are still with them, just having to work a night shift.
As they are about to enter the house Meredith stops, she looks with teary eyes at Alex – "I can't to this and I don't want, all of Zola's and Derek's stuff is gonna be in there." – "No, you CAN, you're strong, think of what you have overcome before, your parents actions towards you, the bomb, the accident with the ambulance, the nearly drowning, etc… and think how often Derek has left you and you always came out stronger. You can do everything and I am gonna be with you on every step, how long it may take, ok?" – sniffling she answers "Yes." and hugs him tight.
They make themselves comfortable on the sofa; forgo plates and glasses and start drinking and eating in easy silence. Suddenly Meredith says "You know, sometimes I wish I could turn back time…" – "Do to what? Never take back Derek? Which time? To save George from the bus?." – "I am not totally sure, maybe all of this and nothing at the same time. To save George, it wouldn't have been enough to somehow stop him from jumping in front of the bus. It would have had to be much earlier; maybe it started with the intern test; maybe when he married Callie, which I somehow have been the reason for. If I hadn't slept with George, he wouldn't have met Callie and so on. All is just a circle. Derek, yeah you are right, I shouldn't have taken him back, after finding out, he is married. That was just plain stupid. Maybe I should have taken you up on your offer for a date in our first intern year? You know I really thought about it, you were totally my type in these days, kind of an asshole with a soft heart under the rough exterior."
He just stares at her wide eyed, mouth open with a piece of pizza in his right hand, the cheese slowly dropping down, suddenly he starts coughing, after a few minutes he has regained his breathing back. – "You thought about dating me. I had no idea. Wow, how things might have gone different…" – "Yeah, but as you pointed out earlier all that happened made me stronger, the same applies to you. We wouldn't be the same people we are today, for example Izzie nearly dying made you somehow softer towards your female friends, not only me, but also Christina. You squabble, but don't fight any more, which makes my life a lot easier." – "True, I have to easy on her; making fun of a pregnant woman seems somewhat cruel." Alex smirks.
They continue eating, drinking, talking about important stuff and nonsense, making each other laugh. "God, Alex, do you remember the dresses Mama Burke wanted us to wear, weren't these just horrible." – "No, I would have loved to see you girls in all these tulle and ruffles, would have made my day." They are carefree, laughing and rolling around on the floor of the living room. "Autsch." – "Meredith, are you okay? What happened?" Alex scrambles towards where Meredith is lying on the floor holding her head. "I bumped my head at the couch table, it shouldn't be something serious." Alex takes her head in his hands and carefully searches for a bump, he finds a little one "You are right, it is nothing serious, but maybe we should still go to bed, before we got more hurt. By the way I don't have a room here, any more, Jackson took it over." – "Shit, I had forgotten this; you could sleep with me in my room. I know you are no George, but it still would be nice, to have a body close to me tonight. If you don't want, there is still the couch." – "No, thanks, your new couch is a terror to sleep on; I preferred the old, lumpy one." – "Too true, maybe we could move the old one back from the attic to its rightful place tomorrow? But first I have to change the sheets, I never started to like these matching sets Derek got us, or better said himself because he never asked me." – "I am gonna help you."
After changing the sheets, they visit the bathroom and get under the sheets, there is no awkwardness, they have known each other to long for such stupid feelings.
When Lexie peeks inside the room of her older sister; she has to smile at the peaceful picture in front of her. Even as Alex' ex-girlfriend, she can see how comfortable they are with each other, like an old sweatshirt you have got for years and would never give away. Both have small smiles in their faces, what they might be dreaming about, surely not about the reality because especially in Meredith's case there wouldn't be anything to smile about.