Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Harry Potter characters.

Chapter Three: Mischief Unmanaged

Pop-Pop!

"What?"

"Here?"

"Godric's Hollow?" The twins chorused as one in alarm.

Fred turned wide eyed to his brother. "We're in deep…"

"Shite!" his brother exclaimed worriedly.

One Month Later-

A small welcome home party had been arranged at the Burrow for the newlyweds. Ron and Hermione's honeymoon had been apparently 'Terrific' thanks to Harry's thoughtfulness.

Harry had provided for their honeymoon, albeit unrepentantly, with a weekend stay at his private South Seas island. The weather had been fantastic and the food sumptuously prepared by one of Harry's elf friends- Dixie.

After getting over their initial shock at Harry's presumption to alter their plans so drastically without so much as a warning, they quickly settled in and found themselves thoroughly enjoying their personal honeymoon adventure.

After the South Seas, they spent five days high up in the Swiss Alps. Their private chalet sported a spectacular view of snowcapped mountains.

The drastic change in temperature and consequently-attire needs, was traversed with relative ease as Harry had once again thought of everything.

Their generous host had sent with a Dixie a pair of Gringott's exclusive platinum debit cards that withdrew funds for expenditures or cash from his personal accounts. Both wizarding and muggle shops and eateries worldwide would accept the cards, and gratefully so.

Dixie had plaintively informed them at the onset of their honeymoon that they were to show absolutely no restraint whatsoever.

"Master Harry insists that you indulge yourselves of anything and everything. You is to consider nothing as being too extravagant and he will be personally insulted if you don't spend at least a million galleons over the next month." Dixie informed them sternly waggling a finger at Hermione in particular.

"A month? A million galleons!" Hermione had shrieked upon hearing this.

"I-I've got practice on Monday? We're in the playoffs?" Ron had stunningly refuted- his priorities still a bit off from that of his new bride's- he'll learn.

"Master Harry has written you a note explaining things." Dixie grinned toothily and proffered a note to Hermione who snatched it out of the amused elf's hand like a flash of lightning.

Ron and 'Mione-

Sorry for the abrupt change in plans, but I assure you it was necessary, and no, Hermione, I haven't suffered brain damage from the coma I was in. There is much to share with you regarding those long months apart, but now is not the time.

I have arranged a month's pay with wages from each of your perspective jobs. Don't ask me how, the details aren't important, just the end result.

For Merlin's sake, Ron! Stop grousing. Do you think I'd let either you or Chudley down? You'll still be in the thick of it when you return- trust me.

Now is the time for two people, who have both earned and deserve every happiness, to experience some of what life has to offer.

Accept from me this small token of my love and esteem. I can't tell you how happy I am for the both of you.

You deserve this. The money means absolutely nothing to me-only your happiness has any value in my eyes.

Indulge yourselves to the fullest. Buy what you need when you need it. Buy anything that strikes your fancy- ANYTHING.

A new port key will take you to your next stop in two days, and every so often thereafter. If you find that you like where you currently find yourselves- then stay there as long as you please- it's your honeymoon, but,.. trust me, you won't be disappointed in the location that each new port key takes you to.

Enjoy yourselves. Enjoy each other.

I love and cherish you both more than mere words or mountains of galleons can ever say or repay.

Remember,… anywhere you go-my love goes too.

Harry

"Oh, Ron…" Hermione sniffled holding Harry's note to her heart with one hand and gripping Ron's hand for support with the other. "What did we ever do to deserve him?"

That was then, this is now…

"Oh, it's so good to have you two home, let me get a look at you?" Mrs. Granger stepped back holding Hermione's arms taking in her daughter's new appearance.

Hermione had a new hair style. Her thick tresses were now drastically shortened into a pert cut that came down just above her neck line and bounced jauntily, whenever she moved. She wore an elegant green sundress that hugged her tanned figure beautifully.

"Why, Hermione…" her mother goggled, causing the young witch to fidget nervously under her mother's scrutiny.

Hermione ran a self conscious hand up thru her new hair style and tucked a stray strand behind her ear. "You don't like it, then?" she asked uncertainly.

"Like it? I simply adore it!" her mother gasped. "You look absolutely breath taking,.. and Ron?"

Jane Granger shifted her attention toward her son in-law, erstwhile engaged in conversation with his new father in-law.

Ron wore a dark blue silk jacket over a black shirt and dark designer jeans and black boots that she suspected were made of some hide other than leather. His clothes were obviously tailor made as they accentuated his build to perfection.

Jane Granger smirked knowingly.

"By the light shinning in your eyes and the happiness radiating from the two of you, and given your appearance….?" Jane Granger began her analysis with a suspicious air."I'd say I see more than a touch of a certain green eyed friend's influence here."

Hermione giggled, actually giggled, in anticipation. "Is he here?" she asked excitedly, craning her neck around her mother.

"Who can say?" her mother replied with airy amusement.

Hermione cocked an eyebrow. "You're being rather facetious, what exactly do you mean? Is Harry here or isn't he?"

"Well..?" her mother demurred, knowing that she was exasperating her daughter, but couldn't resist. "He's not here at the moment, but the way he seems to turn up..? If I didn't know better, I'd say he's around in some fashion- pretty much all the time. The man shows up at the drop of a hat. Molly's at her wits end trying to deal with him, …and Ginny?"

Hermione's eyes snapped to her mother's. "What about Ginny?" Hermione asked worriedly.

"Oh, she's fine dear. I didn't mean to imply otherwise." Jane Granger quickly reassured her daughter. "At least physically she's fine, emotionally, however…?"

"What's he done?" Hermione growled, her vibrant eyes hardening.

"Done?" Jane questioned. "Why Harry hasn't done anything, at least not to Ginny." Her mother clarified with an uncharacteristic snort that had her daughter staring at her with a stunned expression.

"Ah, as I was saying. Harry has been a perfect gentleman where Ginny's concerned. Perhaps too much of a gentleman,... if you get my meaning?"

Hermione's puzzled expression dissolved into a surprised expression "Oh"

"Quite." her mother agreed. "He's been absolutely charming, attentive and,.. frustrating. At least from Ginny's point of view, that is. He's got the poor girls head turned to the breaking point. If I didn't know this was Harry we were talking about I'd say he's teasing her." Her mother smirked.

"What? Harry? Our, Harry?" Hermione gasped disbelievingly. "Perhaps you should explain, and not just about that, but about everything that's been going on? Why don't you start with that little bit you dropped about Harry doing something other than to Ginny?"

Jane Granger sniggered mysteriously. "Oh, .. er,..that's a bit of a story. I gather you haven't talked to your twin brother in-laws' yet?"

"Is that what this is about, what have those two delinquents got Harry mixed up in this time? They haven't been pranking him again, have they? He's not yet recovered his strength,. What are they possibly thinking?" Hermione immediately went on Harry's defense

Jane Granger broke into side splitting laughter, halting her daughter's defensive rant over her friend's supposed predicament.

Hermione stood goggling at her mother, stunned to speechlessness.

"Oh,.. Oh, I'm sorry dear…" her mother continued sniggering…wiping a tear from her eye as she struggled to stop giggling.

"I think a picture is worth a thousand words, but in this case, I think it will just start the process. Come with me, dear." Jane Granger led her baffled daughter out to the Burrow's garden.

She pulled Hermione along toward the Weasley twins, who for their part, were not engaged in their usual antics, but were sullenly watching the rest of the gathering from a discrete location toward the back of the garden - away from prying eyes.

Hermione spotted the problem immediately… it was practically staring her in the face.

"What have you two done this time?" she accused. "I mean really, it's in rather poor taste, even for you two?" she upbraided them.

"What we've done?" George squawked indignantly.

"It was that nutter friend of yours that did this." Fred added in a high falsetto voice.

"What's the matter with your voice, and the rest of you for that matter?" Hermione chided.

Fred slapped at his twin's wandering hand. "Stop that , you twit." he spat angrily at his brother.

George at least had the good grace to blush apologetically. "I-I can't help it. The bloody spell hasn't worn off yet."

Hermione's eyes shifted appraisingly between the two. "Fred's problems are obvious but what's with you?" she directed her attention to George.

Her mother snorted, "I like his end of it the best."

Fred glared murderously at Jane Granger. "How is that worse than being stuck with these?" His thirty-eight inch bust line jiggled noticeably as he emphasized the breasts he'd been cursed with, that and the high pitched female voice he spoke with.

Hermione quirked an eyebrow, "Some sort of transgender charm, I'd wager, but.. That should be easily reversible.

George reached a tentative hand toward his brother's knee. "Don't you even think it?" Fred hissed in warning.

George blushingly pulled his hand back to his lap.

Hermione's eyebrows shot up to her hairline in consternation "A love potion?" she guessed.

"I wish. " Fred whined in his girly voice.

"Well, what then?' Hermione questioned, speaking more to herself than anyone else.

"Bill reckons it's some sort of amorous charm, one specifically designed to make me completely irresistible to this git." Fred thumbed in exasperation toward his twin brother. "The first night was the worst,.. You buggering maniac!" Fred spat venomously at his brother.

"I c-can't help m-myself,.. You're j-just so b-beautiful." George stammered starring at his twin brother adoringly.

Fred rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Harry did this?" Hermione questioned, fighting back the urge to giggle at their predicament.

"Of Course, Harry bloody well did it." Fred ground out angrily.

"Really?" Hermione sniggered.

"Admitted it himself he did." Fred groused contemptuously. "Shows up every few days or so - to gloat!"

Hermione resistance failed her and she began to laugh out right.

"Oh, funny? Yeah, laugh it up. Ikkle Harry can do no wrong, eh?" George complained.

"Honestly, just reverse it. Here let me?" Hermione pulled her wand still smirking into her hand and cast a reversal charm on the twins.

They both gave her a withering glare for her trouble.

"That's odd." Hermione replied thoughtfully.

"Don't feel bad dear; everyone's had a hand at trying to reverse the effect, but nothing's helped.. William was at it for the better part of two hours and I understand he's quite good at breaking spells." her mother ventured by way of an explanation.

"Harry's warded the bloody spells somehow so that only he can remove the curses he's placed on us." Fred angrily explained, slapping unconsciously at his brothers grasping hand.

"Show's up now and again to take it off, only just a little at a time, that and to lecture us in a rather good imitation of your voice."Fred added with a sarcastic glint, trying to draw his sister in-law sympathies for their plight.

Hermione's expression soured at that. "He does, does he?" she conjectured coolly.

Her mother caught on to what Fred was doing and deflected her daughter's wrath.

"Before you try turning her against, Harry, why don't you two tell her what you two we're getting up to when Harry pranked you in the first place."

Fred's grin abruptly disappeared, and his twin took on a panicked expression.

"I-It was only a bit of fun." Fred mewled in his falsetto.

Hermione's eyes narrowed." What, what was only a bit of fun?"

"Speak of the devil!" Fred pointed irately.

Both women turned their attention behind, expecting to find Harry approaching them.

Twin 'pops' announced the twins strategic withdrawal, by apparating away from Hermione's imminent wrath once she learned what they had originally had in store for her wedding night.

"I'd say that was the better part of valor." Jane Granger commented off handily.

"I take it you know what they were up to?" Hermione implied.

Jane nodded. "It's a bit of a story, and mind you, only those two and Harry really know all of what happened. I'm given to understand, and forgive me if I get some of the details wrong, but as you and Ron we're being so careful with your wands and watching what you ingest- with those two around; they apparently focused their attention on your bedroom in Godric's Hollow. Your,…er, wedding bed to be exact."

Hermione's eyes were slits as she hissed dangerously. "What exactly did they do?"

Jane Granger smirked, amused by her daughter's growing irritation. "I imagine your reaction is much what Harry's was that night. Apparently he got wind of it and made a few alterations in the twin's plans. They apparently cast some sort of gender switching spell on your bed, added an,..er,.. Did you call it an amorous charm?"

Hermione nodded stoically, but was inwardly seething.

"Right, an amorous charm, you wouldn't, er… necessarily be totally dissauded with the gender change?" she snorted at that before continuing. "And then to top it off, they placed some sort of ward over the entire house that would, ah,.. negate any ,er.. Prophylactic charms used on the property." Jane related hesitantly, mindful of her daughter's stormy expression.

"I'll kill them!" Hermione growled.

Her mother waved her off. "Not to worry dear, Harry's seen to everything, er, especially the twins. As I said, he apparently altered the spells accordingly and sent the twins into their own trap. I,.. I…" Jane Granger paused trying to keep from laughing again.

"I'm given to believe that the twins had a rather,.. er, romantic night in your stead." Jane Granger gasped out before she doubled over in peals of laughter.

After a few puzzled moments of consideration before fully realizing the implications, Hermione's laughter joined her.

Several cleansing minutes later the laughter finally died down enough, the two took the twin's vacated seats and Jane Granger completed the tale.

Harry apparently had been seeking out the twins every few days to reverse the charms, but only a smidgen at a time, and never what they most want changed.

"Fred's plumbing was the first to go, as he was having a bit of a time dealing with his "Monthly". Jane made quotation marks in the air with her fingers. "Which came every other day"

After several peals of unbridled laughter, Jane finished detailing the twin's humiliation.

"So that's what's been going on all month, eh?" Hermione quipped.

"That?" her mother admonished, "That is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. What Harry did to the twins was just the first day. I was here having a spot of tea with Molly the next day after the wedding, you know,.. A mothers talk. The two showed up, well,.. We didn't even recognize Fred at first, makes a lovely woman he does. He was sobbing to Arthur, and George, well, .. er,.. George needed to be restrained by both William and Charles. He was, er,.. A bit overly interested in Fredwina,… which by the way is what his brother's have taken to calling him."

Jane paused to let Hermione work her way thru another bout of tear strewn guffaws.

"Then, almost on cue, Harry turns up. Completely ignores the twins, despite all their hurled accusations and demands. He pulls me and Molly aside to let us know you'd be away and then he outlines to us what he did for the two of you. Brilliant that. Molly and I are green with envy for you and Ron." Jane complemented.

"Oh, mom,.. It,.. It was the best month of my life." Hermione purred fondly.

Jane cupped her daughter's hand with her own. "And it shows, dear. It shows."

"Afterward, all Harry does is glare at the twins meaningfully and scoffs. "It serves you right. An eye blink later he's gone, but Ginny comes squealing down the stairs with a breathtaking bouquet of roses going on about Harry. She takes one look at the twins, smirks cruelly and presents George with some of her roses. Nods her head in Fredwina's direction and says 'For the lady'."

Both shared another round of snorts and giggles.

Which is how Molly found the two of them, still laughing

"The twins?' she gathered.

Jane and Hermione nodded wiping their eyes.

"Did you tell her what else Harry has been getting up to?" Molly questioned.

"I haven't even started. We've only just covered that first day after the wedding." Jane replied.

"I see." Molly sighed. She summoned a tea service and pulled up a chair for herself.

"We best get comfortable, it's been quite a month, hasn't it, Janey?"

"Quite." Jane Granger agreed promptly.

"Really though, the whole Harry business can wait. Come now Hermione; tell us about your honeymoon? Give us the 'girls version'."

Before Hermione could begin detailing her and Ron's wonderful honeymoon a familiar voice shrieked out…

"Mum?"

Molly's smile faltered and she vaguely announced. "I see Ginny's home."

"What in the world?" Hermione began worriedly at the sound of Ginny's screeching

Her mother cut her off with a knowing sigh. "More like what's Harry done this time?" Jane Granger conjectured.

Hermione's eyes shifted wondering between her two mothers. What questions she had didn't wait long as Ginny came storming out of the house with the remains of a tattered newspaper in her hands….

"Look at this? Would you look at this? It's not bad enough he's out with my captain every other night? 'Dancing, just dancing, Ginny', Gwenog simpers, oh so innocently."Ginny began her rant.

"Then the cow twists the knife and adds, 'until he's ready for more that is'?... Puh-lease!" she finished disgustedly.

"Ginny… what?" Hermione blurted out in confusion.

"Oh, hi, 'Mione." Ginny acknowledged her sister in-law vaguely before returning to the reason for her agitation. "Then this. Now the twit's talked Gwenog into a little side bet. Seems, if Chudley wins the playoff series against us, we have to pose for a charity calendar with the Chudley players."

Molly's face paled, suspecting where this was going. Normally such a friendly wager would be a good thing, but with Harry involved…?

"Well, what's so bad about that, Ginny? Anything for charity's usually a good thing isn't it? I think it's a brilliant idea. It'll probably generate a lot of interest." Hermione encouraged the prospect.

"Where have you been?" Ginny snorted sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "This is Harry effing Potter we're talking about. Oh, it'll get a lot of interest all right? If the Cannons win, we have to pose with Chudley wearing our opponents nearly see thru mesh jerseys,…and nothing else!" Ginny fumed shaking the crumpled newspaper in her fist as evidence of Harry's plotting.

"What?" Molly flew out of her chair. "He wouldn't,.. er, would he?" She asked nervously, glancing to the other ladies for their support.

"He would." Jane agreed flatly.

"But, Gwenog?" Molly gasped vainly, referring to the Harpies captain. "She's not going along with this?"

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Go along with it? I'm not even sure the whole thing's not her idea. You know what she has the nerve to say to me,.. 'If we win, I'm gonna insist on a calendar of Potter in a towel, with an extra personal one for me with "No Towel", captain's prerogative'." Ginny drawled in an imitation of her captain's husky voice.

"Can you believe that?" Ginny seethed.

Hermione goggled at Ginny. It was ludicrous. Harry? The once so shy and unassuming, Harry?

"W-What's been going on since we've been gone?" Hermione asked with rapidly growing concern.

Ginny just gaped at her new sister. "You mean you don't know?"

Hermione shook her head, gulping nervously.

Ginny's eyes narrowed. "Well of course you wouldn't. What was I thinking? As if Harry would prey on you two like he has the rest of us!" Ginny spat scornfully.

She tossed the crumpled evidence of Harry's latest transgression at her sister's feet and stomped off in a huff. Her hands flailed dramatically the air as she hissed and spat angrily to herself all the way back into the house.

Jane whistled in relief at Ginny's departure. "You can chalk another one up to our, Mr. Potter, by the look of it." she surmised.

"Er,.. Quite" Molly agreed wincing as her daughter slammed the kitchen door in her wake.

"Will somebody please tell me what's been going on?" Hermione chuffed.

"When are you due back at the Ministry?" Molly asked wearily.

"Tomorrow, but.." Hermione returned, her patience rapidly fading.

Molly held up a hand to forestall further questions. "Arthur would never agree, can't be seen showing favoritism, but,.. Harry could probably clear it with Commander Hoag? Thick as thieves those two." Molly Weasley tapped her chin thoughtfully.

"Janey, dear, would you call Pixie?"

"I don't know what good it'll do, Molly?" Jane huffed in exasperation before calling out "Pixie?"

POP

"You called, missus?" The small elf inquired as she arrived.

On seeing Mrs. Weasley and Hermione, her eyes went wide as she squeaked. "Oh, no,… no missus, Pixie can't. Pixie can't…!" The poor creature wrung her hands nervously backing away almost terrified by Hermione's presence.

Molly cut in."It's quite alright Pixie ,dear. We only want to know if you would be so kind as to see if Harry could ask Commander Hoag to allow Hermione to take off just one more day? We have a bit of catching up to do." Molly clarified innocently.

"Master Harry is not to be disturbed, Madam Wheezy." Pixie refuted pulling at her ears in frustration over her inability to accommodate their wishes..

"Now, stop that dear." Molly chided sternly. "When Harry is available, would you be a dear and ask him? Tell him Hermione specifically requested his assistance." Molly added, winking at her daughter in-law, preventing her near interruption.

'Yes, Madam,Wheezy. Pixie will. Is there anything else Pixie can do, Mrs.'?"

"No, that's fine dear. Thank you." Molly dismissed Harry's elf sweetly.

After the elf maid apparated away, Molly turned to her confused daughter in-law and explained. "If your mother and I are going to do justice to your inquiry, then were going to need a bit more time to properly highlight all the details. I think we should meet over lunch tomorrow to discuss it? Once you're up to speed you can tell us about your lovely time away. Ron was practically gushing to your father just now before I came out, something about 'The best month of his life'." Molly's eyes twinkled merrily.

Hermione blushed like a proper Weasely.

Jane Granger added. "While I'm sure Ron is also getting an earful as we speak, re.. Mr. Potter's adventures. Arthur and Richard were warned to only delve into Harry's, er,.. antics with Ron's team. That should suffice for Ronald until we can discuss the rest."

Hermione pulled a face. "I'm almost afraid to ask? Ron's been going a bit spare as we've not heard any news about Chudley other than they're still in the play offs, which has been barely enough, in and of itself, to placate Ron. But now that he's back… wild hippogriffs couldn't keep him away from returning to practice."

Jane and Molly shared a contemplative look.

"What?" Hermione asked worriedly.

"Erm, Harry had to agree to take Ron's place before Chudley would give Ron off for your honeymoon together."

"But Harry's a seeker, he couldn't possibly…?" Hermione began to object.

Jane Granger fidgeted, readjusting her position as she considered, "Yes, well,.. I guess they figured that even if Harry couldn't do the job properly, just his name alone would boost revenues enough to make up for it? He is quite popular." Jane pointed out needlessly.

"Obviously" Hermione scoffed, rolling her eyes. "So who did they get to fill Harry's spot then? I mean, they must have found someone competent for them to still be in it?"

Molly shook her head. Anxiety marred her features. "It's best just to say it and be done, Janey?" she suggested.

"Harry has been brilliant, Hermione." her mother deflected." That's not to say that Ronald isn't amazing in his own right, world class even,.. but Harry?"

"I know that Harry's a great athlete. He trains very hard, but still, it's not exactly his forte?" Hermione hesitantly acknowledged.

"Harry didn't allow a single goal during Chudley's last game." Molly added regretfully.

"In a play off?" Hermione almost shrieked before catching herself, "Oh, I see, someone caught the snitch right away." She sagged in relief.

"Bloody Hell!" Ron's voice bellowed out from the house.

Molly's face fell. "Ronald's been told." she acknowledged.

Hermione's half rose out of her seat commenting bewilderedly, "What..?"

"I think Ron's just heard about Chudley's last game. Chudley didn't catch the snitch. We won because Harry didn't allow a single goal,… and the game lasted over four hours. I'm told it shattered the all time record for saves." Jane related with worry and a touch of pride. "It would seem that I've now got the two best keepers in the world for sons."

Lunch with the Girls…

Hermione had just finished going over the details of her honeymoon. What should have been a pleasant diversion was in reality an exercise in patience. She wanted to hear about Harry, and her two mums had refused to get into it until their curiosity was satisfied. They wantedromance, not exasperation.

"Alright, alright, I've spilled my end of it, now what's been going on here? Ron was practically frantic when he left for practice this morning. He's actually afraid that Harry's going to get his job,.. Of all things?" Hermione huffed incredulously.

Jane and Molly shared a worried look.

"Stop that." Hermione hissed.

"I suppose that may actually be a possibility, Hermione." Molly returned sympathetically.

Hermione's eyebrows disappeared into her hairline and her mouth fell open in stunned disbelief.

"Nonsense" Jane rebuffed. "Molly don't say such things. Harry would never…?"

"Who knows what Harry would do?" Molly shot back. "He's turned the entire Ministry on its ear. He's got the Unspeakables solidly behind him. He could run for Minister tomorrow, and the next day Arthur would be looking for a new situation."

"Yes, well, as I understand it, many of the policies Harry's suggesting are very proactive and long overdue." Jane huffed defensively in Harry's behalf.

"Besides, he's done wonderful things for William and Fleur as I understand it. Charles has been promoted as well, no doubt thanks to Harry?"

"Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful, very grateful for what Harry did for Bill and Charlie,… and the twins." Molly added with a snigger. "Well, it isn't as if they haven't had it coming now, isn't it? It's Ginny that's got me worried. He's got her all twisted in knots."

"Harry would never hurt, Ginny. Never." Hermione interjected defensively.

Molly's eyes softened and she patted her new daughter's hand reassuringly. "Of course he wouldn't, dear."

Jane snorted. "He's got her in a right state though. "

Molly let out a long suffering sigh as she nodded.

Hermione's eyes shifted back and forth during their byplay.

"Enough already." She growled her patience at an end. "What exactly has Harry been doing? ALL OF IT?" She demanded.

Molly and Jane shared a look, each other's eyes pleading the other to relate the recent events.

Jane relented. "Gryffindor courage, indeed." she admonished her counterpart.

"Fred and George were just the warm up. The next day, that first Monday was when it all began. That's when things really started to get interesting." Jane began excitedly. Despite Molly's misgiving's Jane Granger was thoroughly enjoying, 'All things Harry related'